It seemed like I had known her for years, not just months and I was determined to finally get her into my bed tonight. The timing was perfect as my roommate had gone home for the weekend, so I had the suite to myself. I was standing behind this red-headed beauty with my arms wrapped around her. My hands covering hers, guiding them as we bent over the pool table.

"Now just pull back on the stick and aim a few gentle strokes towards the cue ball to make sure you are lined up exactly where you want to hit it. When you are sure, pull back further and give it one good thrust."

I relaxed the pressure on her hands as she took the shot. We watched as the cue ball headed towards the solid blue ball and hit it. Then we watched as the ball headed for the pocket and teetered on the edge for a split second before falling in. Melissa dropped the stick on the table and turned around, jumping up and down. My arms went around her again as she hugged me.

"Yaaay, I did it! Thank you so much, Lauren. You are such a good teacher."

"Well, you are a good student."

I thought back to the day I met her. A group of Juniors volunteered during freshman orientation week to each mentor a small group of incoming students and show them around the campus. We helped with getting local IDs and a number of other things they needed. Once past the initial week, we also helped occasionally advise them if they need any unofficial help with anything. I had walked into the auditorium and been handed my list of students and was watching as their names were called. When her name was called, I watched as this stunning vision worked her way through the crowd towards me. I think I fell in love with her at that moment.

Over the last three months, I had pretty much blown off the rest of the group, except for an occasional question here and there, but found any excuse I could to spend time with Melissa. At first, it was just helping her find her way around campus, giving her a lift into town to shop or go to the movies, or getting her settled into her room. If she had trouble hooking up her TV or computer, I was right there to assist. I would ‘accidentally' run into her at lunchtime and eat with her. I ran into her in the student union after classes. During that time, she started dating a couple of guys, but none of them seemed to be anything serious.

I was pretty sure she was more into girls, but not sure she was quite aware of that yet. She really did more things with her girl friends or with a group than with a solo male. Just before the holidays, I had finally asked her if she wanted to go into town for dinner and a movie and she had accepted but insisted we go dutch. I agreed, but only if she picked the restaurant and movie. I dressed up in my best jeans and sexiest top, then added a jacket. We met in front of her dorm, and I took her hand leading her to where I had parked my car.

We had dinner and then walked to the theater a block away. When I took her hand again, she did not resist. In the theater, we got adjoining seats where the arm separating the seats could be raised out of the way. I insisted on getting popcorn and a drink for each of us, and when we sat down, I moved the arm up.

"We can put the popcorn between us without that arm in the way."

"Good idea."

I managed to keep reaching for popcorn at the same time she did and as soon as we finished, I put the empty tub onto the unoccupied seat next to me. When I took her hand again, she still did not resist. And when I put my arm around her as we walked back to my car, it seemed to me like she snuggled in a bit. When I dropped her off, I gave her a little kiss on the lips. After that night, we went out again before the holidays so she could shop for her family. We spent the better part of the day together and then the holidays were upon us. After nearly two weeks, I was going crazy so I had called her a few days before the break was over with the excuse of asking if she would need a ride from the train station back to campus.

"My dad is driving me back because I got a mini fridge for Christmas for my dorm room. So I am good, but thanks for the offer."

"Oh, you are welcome. I just didn't want you trying to get a cab when I have a perfectly good car."

When the break was finally over, I was dying to see her again but was not sure of her new schedule, so it was a bit harder to do accidentally. I remember when I finally found her in the student union sitting by herself, so I walked over and said hi. She immediately stood up and hugged me and pointed to an empty chair. I sat down and asked her about her holidays and remember every word of that conversation.

"Oh, I got a bunch of great stuff. I got a new laptop, so I gave the old one to my younger sister. I got some new clothes, some jewelry, and some gift certificates, and of course, the fridge. And everyone loved the gifts I got them. Thank you again for taking me shopping. What about you? Get anything good?"

"I got some clothes and a really nice necklace. Mostly my folks gave me gas cards and put money in my account so I don't have to work while I am at school. I usually work as many hours as I can at my old job every time I go home though so they don't have to give me too much. I did get a new phone."

"Can I ask you something, Lauren? Something personal?"

"Sure. Ask away."

"Not quite sure how to put this…uhm, uh… do you like girls?"

"Hahaha. As a matter of fact, I do."

"Not guys?"

"I like guys just fine, but only as friends, not to date. Why do you ask?"

"Well, I have never seen you with a guy, or actually with a girl for that matter. I was just curious."

"And what about you? I knew you dated a few guys last semester, but mostly you just hung out with a group of friends."

"Yes, I have dated guys here and in high school too, but never really had a steady guy or one I felt serious about."

"Ever dated a girl?"

"No, well, not really. I mean I have gone places with a girl friend, but not a girlfriend, if you know what I mean."

"I understand. So what you are saying is you don't know how you feel yet."

"No, yes. I am just not sure. Most of my friends in high school had steady boyfriends, one even got engaged just before graduation. I just never felt that way about a guy. Does that make me a lesbian?"

"First, you are still young. A lot of girls don't find out until they are older. Some even marry and discover it after they divorce. So the fact you don't know yet is no big deal. Second, if you did turn out to be a lesbian, would that be a problem? I mean, like would your family object or kick you out? Do you hate the idea so much it would bother you personally?"

"No, I don't think it would bother my family at all. I think they would just want me to be happy. As for how I feel about it, I am just not sure. I have been thinking about it a lot lately, especially during the break."

"Oh? And why was that?"

"Well, I didn't really think about school or anything too much until you called. I realized that I had missed talking to you and hanging out with you. And that got me to thinking about boys and girls and how I felt… and about you."

"And did you come to a conclusion?

"No, well not exactly. But I did want to talk to you about this. I know you have spent a lot of time with me last semester and I wondered why that was. Did you just see me as a silly freshman, or was it because you liked me? And if it was because you liked me, was that as a friend or as a potential girlfriend?"

"I do like you, Melissa and not just as a friend."

"Pheww, cause I think I like you too. I was worried that you might have seen me as just a friend."

"So, does that mean I can take you out on a proper date now?"

"I think so. But one thing."

"What is that?"

"I need to go slow until I figure this all out, okay?"

That was two months ago and during that time; we had gone out on numerous dates. As requested I took it slow, letting Mellissa make most of the advances in the relationship, though I did provide her with opportunities and subliminal hints when I could. We had finally gotten past a peck on the cheek to some heavier make out sessions. From the hints and vibes I was getting from her, I felt she was finally ready to take the next step. So after she won the pool game, I made my move.

"Let's go back to my suite. Belle has gone home for the weekend, so I have the place to myself."

She just nodded at me, we left the bar and I drove us back to the dorms in silence. We parked and walked to the dorm and took the elevator to my floor. I opened the door to my suite and locked the door behind us. Neither of us had spoken a word. I sat down on the couch and pulled her down next to me.

"What do you want, Melissa?"

"I want to be kissed… hard and long. I want a kiss I feel in my toes."

I place my hands on either side of her face and caress it with my thumbs. I lean in and brush her lips with mine, then pull back. I lean in again, pressing harder this time and pull back again, I lean in one more time and press my lips to hers, pulling her into me. My teeth grab her lower lip and tug. I let go and push my tongue between her open lips and into her willing mouth. Our tongues swirl together and wrestle with each other. Our saliva blends as we suck and probe. I hold the kiss for an eternity before I break away and lock eyes with her. My hands lower to her blouse as I slowly undo the top button.

"What do you want, Mellissa?"

"I... I want to feel your lips against my skin. I want to know what it feels like to have a nipple sucked into a warm soft mouth."

I work my way down her buttons as I lean in and nibble on her neck. I slip the blouse off her shoulders and down her arms. My hand reaches behind her and unhooks her bra. I feel her shiver. I take one breast in each hand and squeeze; my thumb and finger rolling the nipple. I feel her heart pounding and hear her take in a deep breath. My mouth works its way down from her neck to one boob. I lick the nipple and gently blow on it, then take it into my eager mouth. I suckle her and move back and forth between each breast several times. Small low moans escape her lips.

"What do you want, Mellissa?"

I want to know the touch of a woman. I... I..."

I stand up and pull her off the couch and lead her to my bedroom. I pull off my top and bra, then remove her skirt and panties. I quickly remove my slacks and panties as well. We stand there naked in front of each other as I gently push her onto the bed. I kiss her mouth again and then each breast.

"What do you want, Mellissa?"

"I want to feel your fingers penetrating me, your mouth consuming me."

"What do you want, Mellissa?"

"I want YOU!"

I kiss my way down her stomach to the soft fuzz on her mound. My fingers push aside her hood and coax out her virgin nub. Each lick draws another low moan and from her body language, I know it will not be long. I part her lips with my finger and feel the moistness and the heat. I slip my finger inside her and her walls immediately grab it. I slowly slide my finger in and out as her hips move in rhythm. I take my cue from her movements, speeding up as she does. Suddenly her body tenses and I slip in a second finger, also sucking her clit deep inside my mouth. Her hips buck as the orgasm explodes inside her. I keep her going as her moans become screams, finally stopping when she grabs my head and pushes it gently away.

I kiss my way slowly back up her body to her mouth, where I let her taste her own juices in a long deep kiss. When I feel her heartbeat finally return to normal, I roll to the side.

"What do you want, Mellissa?"

"I want you to teach me how to do THAT!"

We both laugh.

"Oh trust me, you will learn how."

We are pretty much inseparable for the rest of the year, having most of our meals together, often studying together, and usually going to the movie in the auditorium on Saturday evenings. As the summer term approaches, we discuss what we would be doing over the summer. Melissa asks me if we might be able to get together at all during the break.

"We have to talk, Melissa. I haven't said anything until I heard something definitively. You know we discussed my going to medical school when I graduate."

"Yes, next year, right?"

"Well, no. I have carried an extra load since my freshman year, actually the summer before. Every summer I have taken online courses. I only need two more courses to graduate and I have already registered for those this summer. I have applied to several medical schools and have been accepted to three, including a couple of Ivy League schools. I have also applied for financial aid and it looks like one of the Ivy League schools may come through with a substantial amount."

"That's awesome, Lauren!"

"It is and it isn't. The school is on the other side of the country. At least the next five years are going to leave me little time for a relationship. They discuss how hard medical school can be on even the best of relationships. After medical school, there is residency and once I decide on a specialty that is even longer."

"What are you saying?"

"I am saying that as much fun as we have had this year and as much as I care for you, and I care a lot, it just isn't fair to ask you to wait for me."

"But I love you…"

"And I have loved you from the first day I saw you. But I was your first and you are just beginning your college experience. You deserve to be free to enjoy every aspect of college life; to meet and fall in and out of love until that right one comes along.  Maybe you will meet someone, maybe you won't. Maybe it will be another girl, or maybe it will be a guy. Maybe someday our paths will cross again and the spark will still be there. All I know is medical school is hard, residency is hard. I just can't ask you to put aside your life for me and I need my mind and time to be clear to become the best doctor I can be."

"I would wait for you though if you asked."

"I know you would, which is why I am not asking. It's just a few more weeks until the end of term, but I will be leaving early in the morning after my last final since I don't have to go to any classes after that. I will be picking up a small trailer a few days before and start packing the stuff I am taking home with me. Between that and finals, I will be pretty busy; so that gives us about two weeks. But with finals starting next week, I know we are both going to be pretty busy. Let's plan on dinner together when we can and movie night unless you think it better to just break it off now."

"Just like that? Never see each other again? Never talk to one another again?"

"No, I promise we can talk every week if you like and maybe we can meet up for a few days over the summer if that is what you want. I am not happy about this either, but I want to be fair to you."

"Then let's just end it now. You are right, I have a lot of studying to do for finals and a couple of papers and lab work to finish. You will always be my first love and have a special place in my heart. I guess if we are meant to be, our paths will cross again. Thank you for everything you have taught me this year."

Melissa got up and walked away without saying another word. And she did not see me put my face in my hands and start crying softly. The few times we saw each other in passing; we avoided eye contact and did not talk with each other. I left for home right after my last final instead of waiting until the next day. Melissa's brother and dad were coming on her last day to pack up her stuff and bring her home. Her mom had lined up a job for her in the office where she worked. The job started the Monday after she got home, so she spent the weekend catching up with her high school friends.

I got home around midnight on the day I left. The next day we unloaded the trailer and returned it. I had a few days before I went to work at my old job and had asked for as many hours as possible. Medical school was going to be expensive even with grants and aid, and I wanted to be able to pay for as much of it as possible and not have my parents any more burdened than needed with my debt. The classes I was taking over the summer were all online so I could work on them whenever I had time. I did have some lab time to do, but I had arranged to do that at the local college. I thought about calling Melissa dozens of times over the summer, but knew it was better this way. even though it hurt like hell. I had never considered this when I got involved with Melissa and now we were both hurting because of my selfishness.

to be continued...