What the hell had I been thinking? Packing my things in a hurry I chided myself. How could I have been so stupid? A masculine groan from a bed across the room kicked me into hyper gear. Zipping up my bag and doing a visual sweep of the room, I tried to think of the best exit strategy. I decided on a fast tip-toe to the exit. The door squeaked on its hinges as I quickly slipped through the tiny opening. I let out a quick sigh of relief.

“You fucking idiot. Why? Why? Stupid, stupid, stupid,” I said beating myself on the forehead with the heel of my hand. My car was parked around the back of the roach motel. This wasn’t the best neighborhood but I had been in worse. If anyone wanted to jump out at me I could take them myself. Sprinting to the vehicle I got in and on the road without incident. My cell buzzed with a text: Where the hell are you?

It was Amanda’s thirtieth of the night. Putting in my earphones, I called her back.

“Jesus Christ! I thought you were dead.”

“I fucked up. Oh my god, Mandy I fucked up so bad,” I croaked.

“You didn’t Tara! You promised… Are you ok?”

“I’m fine. I am so sorry,” I tried to think of an excuse but I didn’t have one. I let him do those things to me because I liked it. Simple. My only regret was putting my best friend through this again.

It started as a gift for her. I watched as beads of sweat rolled down his neck. I had no idea who he was but I had a strong urge to follow the liquid with my tongue. It was the craziest thing. I hadn’t seen the guy’s face yet. I had been standing directly behind him for the last five minutes. Mandy and I waited in line for some stupid circus tickets. The weather man lied when he said there would be light snow flurries. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky and if it got any hotter surely buildings would begin to melt.

“What are you thinking about? You have hardly blinked in the last two minutes,” Mandy asked.

“Melted chocolate.”

“He is hot, huh?” she chuckled.

“What?” Somehow I peeled my eyes off of the stranger.

“Seriously. You have been staring at that guy since we arrived. You even licked your lips a couple times.”

“Shh… Could you lower your voice? And I have no idea what you are talking about. If you must know, I was thinking about ice cream,” I lied.

“Yeah. Ice cream,” my best friend scoffed.

“I can help the next person,” a cashier announced.

The guy stepped forward. His linen shirt swayed, outlining a slender frame as he took confident strides to the window. Sex seemed to ooze from his very pores.

“You’re drooling.”

“Liar.”

“You must have forgotten, you aren’t dating for a year.”

“You act as if I’m going to sleep with the man on this sidewalk. For goodness sake woman, I haven’t even seen his face yet.”

“Next,” another cashier said.

Mandy rushed forward almost knocking me to the floor in the process. Twenty four years old and she still got excited to see dancing elephants.

“Sorry. Sorry.”

“Tell me anything,” I huffed following her.

After receiving the tickets Mandy turned and froze. Standing so close behind her I almost slammed into her.

“What the -”

The rest of my words died on my lips as I saw what had stopped her. Moments felt like hours as we finally got a frontal look at the mysterious guy from the line. I swallowed and smiled but Mandy started to back up slowly as if facing an armed killer. She gripped my arm and started to drag me with her. It wasn’t hard to see why she was acting like that. Mandy was trying to protect me not only from the dangerous looking guy but from myself. He was my type and she knew it. If the look in his eye was anything to go by he knew it ,too.

He was a bad boy. I could tell from the glint in his eyes. The charming smile he gave did nothing to hide the sin pouring off of him. At that moment I knew he was trouble. Behind his well-tailored clothing and expensive cologne he whiffed an air of mischief. I knew I had to stay away from him but there was no way I could.

Mandy tugged harder toward the tent’s opening, helping me to break eye contact with the stranger. She tugged harder and I followed. There was no way I would be sucked into breaking my own promise. I would remain single if it killed me. And the way that walking sex god had just looked at me, I think I might truly die.

The show was amazing and the animals appeared very happy with their performance. One can truly tell the difference with a cruelty-free circus. Gathering our discarded cups and popcorn buckets we moved to the exit, only to bump into the sexy stranger again. He looked better the second time around.

“Hi,” he said, speaking in the most gravelly baritone I’d ever heard. Lust burst forth with so much strength my knees weakened.

“Hey Trouble.” Was that squeak my voice? “Uh, did you like the show?”

“Yes. You?” He grinned.

“Sure.”

“Yeah, yeah, you both loved the show. I’ll save you some time pal. She is not interested. She is a total lesbian. Now time to go. Tara you coming or what?” Mandy asked, rudely brushing passed me.

“Sure.” I nodded a smile at the angel faced sack of sexy while moving around him. His hand flashed out in front of my face and it took me a moment to realize it held a card.

“Sorry about being so abrupt but I didn’t want you to leave without having a way to contact me. I’ll be expecting your call tomorrow to set up lunch,” he said.

Chuckling I pocketed his card and moved once again to follow my oh-so-rude best friend. She was going to pay for that remark.

The next morning I sat at the kitchen table with Trouble’s card in my hand, debating. To call, or not to call, that is the question. “Mateo ‘Reese’ Bowyer” the card read. Apparently he was the CEO of the top local security analysis corporation. Why had he been at the circus? A date? I hadn’t seen anyone with him. He was so drop-dead gorgeous I was sure anyone with him would have been just as noticeable. Oh what did I care?

I had decided on giving myself a year to heal from my last breakup. Arch, short for Archibald, had been the love of my life for the last nine years. Though our relationship was not the best I still gave it my all and have no regrets. The split happened because even though Arch was a good guy I was terminally bored. Nothing changed because nothing happened. We had the same sex day in and day out. Or should I say month in and month out? There was no romance. No spontaneity. No passion. Long story short… I cheated. Many, many, many times. Most were meaningless flings. The last one however was not. I’d done the unthinkable. I’d fallen in love.

I don’t know how it happened but it did. Until then sex had been only a physical thing. A fun release. With Keith something was different and I stopped cheating as soon as I realized what it was. I ended things with Keith rather easily, only communicating through social media sites on holidays or birthdays. A few months later he was killed by an overworked delivery driver. His death sent me into a depression. I could not tell anyone how I felt for fear of judgement. Arch and I were the couple everyone looked up to. What would they have said if they had known of my infidelities?

Months passed and life went on. I had taken to spending more time with Arch, trying to force myself to love him again. This was a fail. Everything he did annoyed me. He was not the same man and I was not the same woman. After a while, Arch and I decided to go our separate ways. We both confessed to being unfaithful. I thought I would have felt pain or shame during the breakup but all I felt was relief.

After the split, I moved in with Mandy. My love life had been blissfully stagnant ever since. It has been eight months, two weeks, six days, ten hours and twenty six minutes since my last interaction with a male lasting longer than ten minutes. But who’s counting?

“Morning,” said Mandy, interrupting my musings.

“Good Morning,” I said tucking the card into my robe pocket. I had not told Mandy about the card but I would… eventually.

“Headed to the gallery?”

“No. Krista needed another shift this week so I’m taking the day off. Want to do lunch later?”

“I can’t. Gonna be in meetings all day,” she said, stuffing a bagel into her mouth and rushing towards the door. “Sorry to eat and dash but I am running late. We will go out for dinner, okay?”

She left without hearing my answer but that was Mandy for you. She was always on the move. If it wasn’t a meeting it was a trip. Her innocent features and youthful appearance gave her and edge in the corporate world. Those who assumed she was a docile mouse were often shocked when they lost major accounts to her company. She was her firm’s secret weapon and well they knew it.

My day wizzed by uneventfully until around lunch. I’d decided there was no way I would be calling Trouble, CEO, to take him up on his offer. I needed to continue working on me. I stopped by my favorite deli close to where Mandy worked and bought two roast beef sandwiches. The cashier threw in a couple of free cookies for a couple of smiles.

Mandy worked right in the middle of what the locals called “The Pit.” It was a cluster of buildings filled with businesses of all kinds. After sweet-talking my way passed security and Mandy’s elderly secretary, I setup lunch on the desk. Of course I knew she had meetings all day but that was the reason I had bought sandwiches. It took only five minutes of waiting before she walked in.

“God. You scared the crap out of me,” she said.

“I got Gio’s.” I pointed at the food.

“I knew there was a reason you were my best friend,” she grinned. “What’s up?”

“I knew you would be working so hard you would forget to eat. Plus, there was no way I was giving up on this rare occasion where we could see each other in the daylight.”

“I needed this break. Somehow the firm had been hacked. Our computers and certain offices were filled with bugs, worms or viruses. It has been chaos around here.”

I gasped. “Were you bugged?”

“Yes, and thanks to that fact we know who it was.”

“What do you mean?”

“There is never anyone in my office. I am barely in here. So when a creepy crawly was planted it was easy to figure out who. I mean you are going to notice the only person to come or go other than me.”

“Who was it?” The suspense was killing me.

“You remember Jace in accounting? You know, the one I ate out his wife and left him crying at the office Halloween party with a hard on? It was him.”

“No!” I said in disbelief.

“Yeah.

He works for the competing firm down the block now. He still had his creds to get in the building and bugged all of us. We had to hire an outside company to help beef up our security.”

“Well, I am glad that is all cleared up. You should really be more careful.”

“Please! He was mad I wouldn't fuck him. I don’t usually like women but Vi was so worth it.”

Violet or Vi, as most called her, was Mandy’s only constant. Short, curvaceous and unbelievably sensual. They had locked eyes with each other and the rest is history. They join forces to fuck others every now and again but their main connection was each other. I could hear them in their room some nights. They could go at it for hours. It was hot.

“Just be careful,” I pleaded. She nodded and we joked until she had to return to her meetings.

At the security desk I returned my visitor pass and turned to go, only to be blocked by a wall of male sexiness that made my knees weaken. I looked up. Way up... into the face of the walking sex god and CEO, Mateo Reese Bowyer. My goodness, the man was fine.

“Um, hi.”

“Hi yourself.” Was that a hint of anger in his tone? Why did it matter? I straightened. “You didn’t call.”

“Never said I would,” I snipped. I did not like people telling me what to do.

“Have you eaten?” Had he asked in the biting tone he had a moment ago I would have bristled but he hadn’t. He seemed genuinely concerned.

“Yes I have,” I answered honestly. I blinked and remembered where we were. “What are you doing here?”

“Working. I am kind of glad you didn’t call. I would have had to cancel. There was an emergency here.”

“Yes, I know.”

“You do, huh? What are you doing here?” he asked, eyes narrowing slightly.

“Visiting a friend.” Those eyes narrowed a bit more but he did not say a word.

“So what is your plan for the rest of the day?”

I shrugged. “Nothing really.”

“Come with me then?” He said it like a question but I heard a bit of command. It thrilled me in a way.

“To?” I smiled.

“A motel.”

My smile slipped.

“What?” I asked incredulously. “I am sorry. I’m certain I did not hear you correctly.”

“You heard me just fine,” he said, gripping above my elbow and pulling me to the farthest corner of the room. “We are adults. I want you. You want me. Please come with me.”

“I don’t do that sort of thing. You have got the wrong girl,” I said jerking my arm out of his grip. The heat of his hand was doing odd things to my senses.

“I don’t do this either but it is something about you that makes my upper brain shutdown and my lower head pay attention. I will get down on my knees right here and beg you. I don’t know why my need is this urgent but it is. I am safe and clean. I brought my paperwork.”

My heart pounded in my chest. Never had I been propositioned like this. He was so passionate and truly wanted this. But why me? I mean, it's not like I am not cute or anything. I have mocha skin, midnight eyes and hair. Five foot three with curves and I know how to accentuate them. Generally, I was appealing but I’d never had anyone have such a strong reaction to me before. It made me feel powerful. It made me feel beautiful. Rarely had anyone made me feel wanted. It was addicting and I wanted more. He moved to drop to his knees but I stopped him with a hand to his chest.

“Let me think about it, okay?”

Mateo gave me a week to think over his proposition. The fact I was seriously considering his offer nearly got me committed to an insane asylum when I told Mandy. She had been incensed. She went on and on about me knowing my worth and how any man would be lucky to have a woman like me. I had to lie and promise I wouldn’t think about it anymore just to get her to shut the hell up. And it was a lie.

The moment Mateo had broached the idea to me I knew I was going to do it. It was just a matter of when. He was correct. We were adults. As an adult I was free to do with my body as I chose without punishment or persecution. Mandy would be my friend no matter what bad decisions I made. It was in the best friend contract.

For days Mateo and I texted each other. He told me everything he wanted to do to me in detail. Some of the things caused me to black girl blush. By the time Friday came I knew I would let him do whatever he wanted. I could only hope he lived up to my fantasy. What a letdown it would be for him to talk big and be small.

We planned to meet Tuesday, November 4. The date was marked in my calendar. I had done so because my heart told me, for better or worse, my life would be changed forever. Little did I know how right I would be.

Tuesday came with blinding speed. Somehow I’d managed to get the day off with only the minimum of fuss from my boss. I needed time to primp. I would not go to him half stepping. Most of the things he’d described in those texts required a few hours at a spa. It was ridiculous to spend an entire day getting ready for an hour night but I did. I picked up new underwear to wear under old clothes. I didn’t want him to think I had done anything special to get ready for our time together.

When the text came to meet I controlled my excitement by taking a shot to relax. I was to come in thirty minutes to the motel of his choosing. I brushed my teeth and wanted for the address. When it came I was waiting in my car. The anticipation thrummed throughout my body. Slickness coated my panties and my breathing increased.

What was I thinking? I shouldn’t be doing this. My clitoris throbbed. In that moment I knew he had wormed himself into my mind. Laying my head on the steering wheel I took a deep breath. I would not race to this man like a puppy did to his owner. I would not. Nervousness set in the closer I got to my destination. Sweat trickled down my arms as my hands grew cold and clammy. Everything in me urged me to turn around. This happened every time I took a new lover. These feelings were why I hadn’t had many.

More hot liquid escaped my body when I arrived at the motel. It took another few minutes to regain some of my composure and enter the lobby. Finding the room was easy enough. It was the only one with the door cracked. Inhaling to shore up my courage I stepped in.

A hum in the air told of a predator near. Deeper I crept into the room. Nothing moved. There was no sound. I was in a small hallway and I moved forward. I saw him then. Mateo sat on the bed facing me. Our eyes locked. A fresh wave of nervousness kept my feet rooted to the floor. He was too tempting. My jaw tingled. I was going to mark him. I knew it sure as I knew my own name.

“You look nervous,” he said. No, I was terrified. “Come here.” I followed his instructions without a thought. He pointed to the place he wanted me to stand. Slowly he stripped my clothing from me. I could feel myself shaking. “Shhh….” he said, walking around me.

Standing before him naked while he was fully dress was erotic in ways I had never imagined. Gooseflesh climbed down my spine with every light caress of his fingers. Contractions of my walls alerted me to how painfully empty I was in that moment. No one had ever made me feel such things. He stood in front of me and stripped. Remaining in place was tough yet I managed it.

I had hoped our text sessions mixed with the fantasies in my head were not going to be a letdown. I needn’t have worried. He was bigger and better than my imagination could have ever conjured. There wasn’t any part of his body that didn’t make my mouth water. All kind of wicked thoughts crossed my mind at the sight of his erection. There was nothing more perfect. It wasn’t as if I had seen a lot of penises in my day but I was positive none had made me hear the songs of angels when I looked at it. I wanted nothing more than to wrap my lips around him. I wanted to touch him there.

“Like what you see, hmm?” he chuckled. My eyes flew up to his. “So do I.”

In one fluent moment I was pushed onto the bed. He kissed and licked my breast. Heat engulfed me when he plunged two fingers inside me. My heart beat wildly as, within seconds, I was on the brink of an orgasm. A high pitch squeal left my throat when he bit down on the curve of my neck while hooking his fingers inside me. Shock rang across my mind as the climax scorched me. When I opened my eyes I felt like a new person. No longer was I nervous or afraid. I wanted this and anything short of the second coming didnt have the ability to stop this.

Mateo searched my eyes as I searched his. He was trying to read me. I made my face a mask. I lifted up forcing him to move. He rolled onto his back as I had expected and I let my instincts reign. My lips kissed a smooth trail from his neck to his navel. My nail scored where my kissed had been. A trail of hair pointed in the direction my mouth was headed. He smelled of soap and warm man. It was intoxicating.

Softly, I took his scrotum into my palms massaging the heavy weights while glazing hungrily at his magnificent member. Absently I licked my lips in preparation of what he would taste like. Clear liquid formed on the tip of his erection. Without thought my tongue swiped it. Mateo moaned. He was sweet. It was my turn to moan.

Licking my lips again I sucked him into my mouth with enthusiasm. Slowly I built up pace while trying to force his penis farther down my esophagus. I’d never liked doing this before but with Mateo I loved it. His groans of pleasure spurred me on. I increased the pace and pressure as wetness escaped to slick the parts I couldn’t fit. Suddenly my head was yanked back and Mateo stared into my eyes. All I saw was lust. I panted from my exertions when he finally released me to roll on a condom. Admiration of his beautiful chocolate skin shimmered in my mind.

Swiftly I was rolled onto my back. With one hard thrust he sheathed himself inside me. Ecstasy swamped me. Never had anything felt more perfect. More right. This was different from anything I had ever experienced. I wanted to cry from the injustice of it all. Tonight would be the only night we would have together.

We moved as one, our gazes telling each other how we felt without a word being spoken. We made love until exhaustion claimed us both. Throughout the night Mateo took me in ways authors couldn’t write about. It had nearly killed me to leave him in the morning but I had done it. It was only supposed to be one time. One lapse in judgement. One moment of weakness. Being with him opened my eyes and I knew there was no going back.