The soft vibrating sounds against my pillow caused my eyes to open enough to see the flashing lights of Skype. My eyes closed against the harshness of the lights as my fingers wrapped around the phone. “Hello?”

“I love that sound.”

“What sound?” I asked, my foggy brain still not working.

“The sound of your voice when I wake you.” I made an unladylike sound in response. The sound of warm, smooth laughter flowed along my body. “How are you, Molly?”

“I’m freezing,” I said.

“I'll keep you warm, what are you wearing?”

I laughed softly, “Nothing sexy.”

“Would you mind if I am the judge of that?”

“No because I know what you would say,” I said laughing again.

“Fine, your clothing doesn’t matter anyway. Since you are freezing, I would slip under the blankets behind you to warm you head to toes. I would peel your socks off and take your ankle to my lips. My hands hot, cupping your toes, squeezing firm and soft. If prepared for this moment, I would have kneaded warm oil into my skin.”

“You always are prepared, aren't you?”

“I have to be until you break out of your shell and overpower me. My God you have no idea how I crave for that moment.”

I closed my eyes. “Rules, I have rules. You know that.”

“I’m losing all sense and control over the course of what's to come. My teeth want to nibble.”

“I think losing control with you would be fun and there are things you would teach me, but I have rules.”

Smooth laughter filled my ears. “Should we ever have that chance, only one rule would be there.”

“And what's that?”

“Complete caring and trust. It would have to be with both of those things. Now back to how I would warm you up.” The voice in my ear was commanding, but playful. “I would dip my fingers in warm oil and run my hand up your calf, kneading as my thumb pushes the oil along the length of your muscles.”

My voice was soft, “I've never been treated with such care.”

“You will be. Say the words and I guarantee it.”

“I can’t.”

“If I were in bed with you, I would wait for the first signs of waking then I would run my fingernails up beckoning your thighs to part for me.”

“I can’t,” I repeated even softer this time.

“I would run the back of my hand gently along your thigh, past your warm butt, and then gently hold it in my hand basking in our shared warmth.”

“You are feeling naughty this morning.”

Soft laughter flowed over the phone. “You bring out the beast in me, now shh. Where was I? I would turn around and spoon you, causing my heart to race. As I slip my hand under your head and reach out just over your firming nipple, not touching, just over it, my other hand would graze along the back of your leg as you gently press against me.”

My heart was pounding in my chest, and I felt a throbbing between my legs. “Spooning is nice. Just listening to our breathing and feeling the warmth between us.” As my fingers were sliding over my panties, I had to ask, “So no hands touching to be playfully slapped away?”

“There would be hands touching. I could only be good for so long, babe. I would reach back, and off the breakfast tray I would have brought you, pick up a slice of fresh apple, as my other hand comes to rest on your breast and offer the apple to your lips.”

“So you have decided boldly to touch, huh?”

“Cunningly yes, now focus, Molly. Will you nibble or push the apple away?”

As my legs spread apart, my fingernails glide up and down my already damp pussy. “Nibble.”

“I will slyly move taking a bite myself, and then I will run the uneaten end along you left leg, etching, yet advancing as I nibble your ear.”

Trying another feeble attempt, I breathed out, “Rules...”

“I would firmly press against your ass, my heart pounding against your back. Hearing those words I would pout in your ear, ‘Stupid rules,’ then I would suckle on that tempting earlobe.

My fingers slipped under my panties. “You would get a light slap.”

“I will take your slapping hand and kiss the tip of each finger. Noting the unique, shall I say musky, aroma or just their unique taste? It is a taste that would be great on this apple. Shall I slide it up further and find out?”

I gasped loudly, hearing those words and flicking my already swollen clit. “I would mention my rules again, wiggle away, and slap your hand, but you will note I am still in the bed, and the stupid apple has made me blush!”

“Sliding that apple up higher along your already glistening lips, they are glistening aren’t they, Molly. No needto answer, I would take a bite and find out on my own. I would then grab another piece and run it back up your thigh and along your lips.”

My breath was heavy, and I was squirming, flicking my little bud again and again.

“It tastes delicious; I would say moving it just over your lips. What’s the matter, you can't seem to make up your mind? To nibble or decline?”

My fingers moved down between my lips coating my fingers. “I'm trying to decide where apple eating falls into my rules.”

Another soft chuckle through my phone made my back arch. “I would put the apple in my other hand, the one over your breast, but more a mere fraction of an inch from those lips. The other hand would slip under your night shirt and rest over your abdomen.”

“Ah, you are trying to make me take that bite. You are so wickedly tempting. I'm sure you are well aware of all the trouble apples can cause.”

“While whispering in your ear, I would say, ‘Mmm, such turmoil under my hand. Did I just feel you shudder?’ as I pull you closer into my embrace.”

“I would tell you that my tummy had this energetic butterfly feeling.” My voice was breathy, and my fingers were gliding up and down my lips.

“My fingers will press into your soft skin and slide down your stomach.”

“I tremble slightly and put my hand on your side.

“I inhale your scent. Soaking your wholesomeness deep into my core I look into your eyes. I bite my Iip and kiss the tip of your nose with a sigh. Rules…”

“I lay my forehead on your chest, snuggling closer and whisper, ‘Thank you.’ before I give it a light kiss. I lay here and selfishly enjoy the attention and warmth.” I closed my eyes feeling the first wave of guilt, but my fingers never stopped moving.

“We lay there feeling our desire bubbling deep inside us, all the tiny gestures, the little changes in our breathing, the biting of lips and the heat. That scorching heat of our desire, of your inner muscles trembling, milking your juices, pulling them from you. Can you feel it, Molly?”

“Yes…” I sighed, feeling the pulse of my heartbeat through my clit.

Soft, smooth words continued to slide over me. “Your juices flowing deep within your fountain, even as my ache starts to build, the pulsing pumping my wetness, building me up, yet… We do not move. Our breathing becomes thick, tiny microscopic gasps, filled with knots inside our musky fragrances, mingling, uniting, and making us one. I ask again, do you feel it, Molly?”

“Yes, I say as I bite my lip, but I am determined to stay still and willing you to do the same although I can feel your struggle.”

“Our eyes filled with lust. Feel our aching, Molly. Feel the trembling or our thighs, the quivering of secret places. Gulps of breaths coming in synch; my exhale becomes the air you inhale. Intoxicating. My hands in your hair, your hand on my face, our knees touching, thighs opening on their own needing what is coming.”

Soft little moans escaped my mouth, and I hoped they were too light to be heard. My fingers rubbed and flicked over my clit. I was losing this battle, and another wave of guilt washed over me. My voice sounded in pain when I groaned, “I almost give in before turning away, ‘I can't. I have rules for a reason.’”

“You turn away yet snuggle your body into me, never losing contact, pressing firmly against me. You brush along throbbing places. My hand is once again over your abdomen, fingers pressing in and I gasp as more and more of my desire oozes, betraying my control.”

“I feel your desire against my thigh, and I slide it slow back and forth. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath to gain control, but I feel myself falling.”

“My teeth are grazing your shoulder wanting to bite, but feeling the need to be gentle and in control.”

There was such urgency in the voice that flowed along my ear; it made my pussy throb and I rubbed faster. “Oh God...”

“I inhale, seeking to gain control, yet your scent overpowers me and my teeth sink into your skin.”

The bite was my undoing. “Please," I pleaded.

“I kiss you gently, and my hand is clasping your abdomen. Strong hands are sliding down over your sex and soft kisses along your lips.”

“Tears from struggling appear in my eyes.” I lifted my bottom off the bed and slid two fingers deep inside me.

It was evident you heard my groan when you answered with one of your own. “Another soft kiss, followed by teeth grazing to stifle a moan into your shoulder. One hand holds your neck as the other one pushes against you, biting you harder.”

“I sigh deeply, pressing more firmly against you. ‘Oh God,’ my body reacts and moves wantonly against you.”

“My palm firmly against you, fingers strumming your mons. Tap… Tap… Pressing firmly lodged against you.”

“No. I can't. I'm sorry I can't. My rules...”

“I rock against you, ignoring your useless reminders. My hips rocking against your thigh, abandoned gasps, fingers brushing your lips. Our moans becoming one, feel it, Molly.”

“I rock with you rubbing my sweetness over your fingers, feeling your sweetness cover my thigh.”

“The ache, the throbbing of slippery desires, everything so sensitive, building higher. Feel it, Molly!”

Those words were all it took to send me over the edge. My fingers moved fast and hard in and out of my dripping, needy sex and I came. Not with a loud moan, but with an inaudible gasp. My body was tight; my back arched and my mouth was open in my silent cry. As my back touched the bed, another wave of guilt crashed over me. ‘What am I doing?’

“I slip quickly from your arms, from your warmth. With heavy breaths I cry, ‘I can't. I’m sorry, too far, I've gone too far.’ With one last look, I flee the warmth, the need, and the desire. ‘Please understand.’”

“I reach for you, holding your hand and kiss each finger. Closing my eyes, I exhale. ‘Smile Molly, I understand.’ I try to stand up, but my legs betray me, and I sit down quickly looking at the bed. I start laughing as I see two pools on the no longer crisp sheets.”

I pulled my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around my legs, shaking.

“Following your eyes, I cry from the damage I've caused and knowing I will eventually do it again. ‘I am weak.’ I blow you a kiss and leave the room to cry at my selfishness and my rules.”

“I yell stop, and when you look at me, I smile and walk to you pulling you in for a loving hug, giving you a gentle kiss. I see you and I have two different endings. I’ve never played abstinence before, Molly. This day is going to be a long one.”

I sat in my bed and cried as I heard the quiet words followed by a soft chuckle, “Eventually you will stop running from me,” and the phone went silent.

My voice was weak and sounded strange in the silence of my still darkened bedroom. “God why do I keep doing that?” Even as the words left my mouth, I knew that I would again.