The function room was crowded with some of the overspill frequenting the main bar and I was happy that I had decided to return to the big city as I’d already had fun catching up with old friends from more than a decade past. The birthday girl’s brother, who had been the instigator of my invite, had roared loudly when he’d seen me and broken off from the group he was with to hug me tightly and drag me over to the bar where we polished off three shots of Malt Whiskey in quick order.
“Damn!” he repeated once again, “Never thought you’d turn up, Jimmy. Never thought we’d get you down from that mountain!”
“How could I refuse when the invite was so personal and sincere, Jack?” I answered with my own look of feigned sincerity.
“Sure we’re saving the trees by using Facebook,” he replied.
I grinned, “We won’t mention the number of power stations working to capacity to keep all those computers and I-phones running.”
“I see time hasn’t dampened your recalcitrant nature.”
“I see time has dropped a dictionary in your lap!”
Another shot was imbibed and the Jack returned to his group while I wandered about the throng making small talk with vague acquaintances and much more satisfying dialogues about futures and memories with my old friends. Still, as always, I felt removed from the proceedings and was happy to circulate through this solar system like a rogue planet.
I gravitated towards a corner of the function room, an elevated section that I assumed could be quickly converted to a stage, half a dozen tables and chairs were placed upon it with only five or six people sat there. I sat down and looked out across the crowd, my mind plotting orbits and paths as the individuals weaved through the whole. Numbers were rattling through my head and I was only vaguely aware as a blonde woman in a mid-length red dress rose from the seat nearest me and headed down into the main area. She became part of my mathematical equations as she slipped around groups and nodded to friends, threading her way through the crowd. Even before she was halfway across the-is ‘galaxy’ I knew she was bound for the toilets. I smiled to myself as the variables reduced with her progress and my prediction became more and more certain.
“Jimmy, the stargazer, isn’t it?” said a low voice from beside me.
I reluctantly dragged my gaze away from the blonde slightly annoyed that I wouldn’t see if my prediction would come true. But the voice that had issued from beside me was too strong and sultry. A brunette, with a short bob, in a black dress sat at the table vacated by the blonde sipping at a glass of white wine. I stared at her face, my eyes drawn to her light red coloured lips, trying to place her. After a few moments I replied, “You’ve got me... I am Jimmy the stargazer though most in my circle prefer the term astronomer.” My hind-brain was unwilling to give up a name to go with the face but a tiny alarm bell was ringing telling me to be wary. “And you are?” I asked.
“I don’t suppose we had that many conversations... possibly none actually but I see-” her eyes flicked towards the crowd as she lowered her glass in the general direction of her friend, “- that you’re still a predator!”
“The blonde?” I shook my head, “No, not really, you wouldn’t... believe me. I admit she is quite attractive but predatory thoughts hadn’t entered my head... not till you put them there!”
Now it was her turn to shake her head, the bob barely moving as she did so, “Not the walking gland you used to be?”
“Would you believe me if I told you I never was?”
The music from the main area cranked up a notch along with the general hubbub of conversation and I only just heard her say “Not in the slightest”, she took another sip from her glass as I swivelled on my chair and sat facing her.
I looked across the room, a few familiar faces in view but none reminded me of my present company but from her demeanour and what my memory was allowing me I knew that in some way I had offended her in years past. If I hadn’t been predatory concerning her blonde friend I was definitely feeling so about her, whether she liked me or not. “Would you mind if I moved closer?” I pointed to my ear, “One thing age has affected is my hearing or maybe it’s just that nowadays I think they play music far too loud... I must be getting old!” I said loudly.
She smiled for the first time albeit a cautious smile and nodded her assent. I picked up my glass of whiskey and weaved my way between the tables to sit on the opposite side of the table from her with my back to the crowd. “The thing is,” I began, “I was never quite the lothario people thought I was!” I could see in her eyes that she didn’t believe me, “Don’t misunderstand me, I wanted to be but I wasn’t, I just had a good... or bad maybe, publicist.”
“Really?” she answered incredulously.
“Really!” at a closer distance the face was becoming more familiar and I believed that she was a friend of a friend from a decade past and considering the present gathering it was a safe bet she was in the medical profession, “You remember my brother... well, I think he wanted me to live the life he wanted... ironic really!”
“Ironic?”
“Aye, turns out he was Gay the whole time!” I answered with a smile.
“Michael was Gay! I don’t believe you. I mean... I heard he was living with that Irish girl... Philomena.”
“He did, a phase I think they call it” I replied enjoying the shock on her face and having definitely narrowed down where we knew each other from.
“Still... from what I know, you weren’t exactly shy in your efforts to get into nurses uniforms!”
“That’s true but definitely not with the success I am attributed!” I chewed on my bottom lip as my memory got closer to her identity.
“Still don’t remember me?” she asked with a sense of righteousness.
“Not quite... fancy giving me any clues?” I asked in vain already knowing her reply.
She shook her head and lifted her glass to her lips once again as I lifted mine. I swilled the alcohol around my mouth slowly as I pondered the woman in front of me. Her face was very familiar as was the expression she wore which wasn’t the type of look I ever wanted to be responsible for on a woman’s face. “Hmmm... now I’m sure that I haven’t ever offended you... at least directly as I’m sure I would remember unless I was completely smashed so I’m guessing I upset a close friend?”
Her face in general gave nothing away but I was sure that her eyes narrowed in response to my question. It was at that moment I sensed the return of the blonde and craned my neck around to look. Having been cast in the role by my mysterious inquisitor my eyes quickly roved up and down her frame taking in the slim (too slim for my general taste) hips and large bust that I suspected had been augmented by artificial means whether silicon or padding I had no idea. “Hi, I’m Jimmy,” I offered.
I watched her eyes as they darted to the brunette and responded to an unseen expression, “Jimmy the arsehole?”
“Probably, though now I’m figuring I preferred ‘Jimmy the Stargazer’!”
“Need any help?” she asked her friend.
“Oh, none whatsoever, Emma,” I heard the reply.
“Well give me the nod and I’ll dislocate his arm” she offered before turning away. I paid more attention to her retreating figure this time, appreciating her arse as it wiggled within the dress. A smile played upon my lips as I wondered if that was her natural gait or if it was for the benefit of ‘Jimmy the Arsehole’.
“Yep, definitely prefer Stargazer to arsehole,” I said as I turned back to the brunette, “even wanker or tosser is preferable.”
To give her credit there was no guilt or embarrassment on her face. I took my time studying her face and once again a slight smile played upon her lips not bothered to be under close scrutiny. Her dark brown eyes gave nothing away as I imagined the couple of laughter lines about them invisible. A tiny hint of white hair marred the obsidian darkness behind her left temple. I left it there in my mind's eye and lightened her colour to a dark brown. Idly I swilled the remains of my drink within the heavy tumbler as she lifted her wine to her lips.
Her lips!
I motioned a waiter over and ordered another pair of drinks without asking her hoping for a comment as I emptied my own and placing it on his tray. She remained silent. It was the lips, coated in a more youthful, libido driven fiery red lipstick that forced the memory from my skull, not the name yet but that would be along shortly but I knew who she was and what I had done.
The sins of youth made me smile and the memory of the friend I had wronged stirred the 'snake' below. It was ironic that the woman in front of me was so much more my type than her friend from a decade ago and even back then when I remembered her scowling at me afterwards from across crowded rooms I wondered what it would be like to kiss those angry lips.
“Does the light dawn?” she asked sardonically.
“Harlesden... A house party just down from the Fisherman’s arms, I believe.”
“And?” she said with no hint of a smile.
“Allie... that was your friend’s name... Jane.”
We ceased our conversation as the waiter returned with our drinks, our eyes focused on one another’s as I handed over a note in payment. I suspected he could sense the atmosphere between us even for those few brief seconds.
“You took your sweet time about it,” she continued before raising the fresh glass of wine to her lips.
“Ahh, the memory isn’t what it used to be. As for Allie and the wrong I did her...” I paused wondering if it was worth putting my case.
“You’re really going to try and defend yourself?” her eyes widened in astonishment.
“Well, that’s the thing, the crime I was accused of... although no-one ever actually told me what I had done-“
“You’ve got some front!” interrupted Jane.
I let out a long sigh and raised my glass to my chin, rolling the cold surface about it, feeling my stubble flatten beneath it as I inhaled the peaty fumes from the amber liquid. “What is it they say in Hollywood films, a man has a right to face his accuser!”
“Well, J’accuse!” she said in a very good French accent, triumphantly folding her arms.
“Hmmm... you’re a fair minded person.” I didn’t wait for her to agree (I’ve never known anyone till backed into a corner not agree), “I’m sure you’ll hear me out.... Well, it was a very enjoyable party over in Harlesden, for the life of me I can’t remember whose it was but I was there with my brother and his fellow class-members as well as a few friends from up north. And in the garden I ran into Allie... damn but she had long hair... anyway from the get-go my motives were dishonourable but one thing I wasn’t and very, very rarely am was dishonest. I was completely up front about my intentions.”
"Very upright of you but it sounds like hypocritical misogynism to me!" she interjected.
"Hypocrisy, probably, but in my own opinion I've always been the opposite of a misogynist though I suppose all male chauvinist pigs think the same. I love women and often would say I'm in awe of them. I think you're amazing, maybe the only criticism I have is why as a sex you let men get away with walking all over you . Maybe you are the fairer sex, but the weaker sex, I don't think so." I took another sip of my drink giving Jane an opportunity to step in but she lifted her glass, swilling the pale liquid around as she pondered my words. "Personally I've always hated all kinds of -ism from sex to race, never thought I could afford to be racist, there were a few women knocking about the neighbourhood as well. Although I'm by no means a devotee of Political Correctness. Actually the best description of my philosophy would be Buddhist without all the fat fella's!' A genuine smile crossed Jane's lips which she quickly covered as she raised her glass.
"Now where was I? Ahh yes, in the garden, with carnal hopes and Allie! The question that night was my charm against her willingness or reticence? The basics were, I wanted what Allie had and by degrees I attempted to bring us to a mutually pleasurable agreement."
Jane's lips parted slightly showing her white teeth locked together, "Beguilement! A pretty euphemism for wanting to get into her pants!" she said curtly.
I nodded in agreement, "Beguilement, true, guilty as charged, but that wasn't the crime that you've despised me for down all the years, is it?"
She took a breath and I had to stop myself from glancing to her chest; she shook her head, "Despise is too strong a word, I think."
"Now who’s trying to be polite? I reckon while you were still at the Royal and I was knocking about and more so after I moved down here, whenever you saw me chemical castration was foremost in your mind!"
"Not always chemical." I couldn't help but wince.