He was lying on the floor as she came in, surrounded by a makeshift shrine of empty beer cans, pizza boxes and several geological strata worth of dirty laundry. The only coverings on his person were boxers, socks and the occasional leftover traces of cheesy snack dust. It would appear she had arrived just in time.

His behavior had slipped badly and something had to be done. The Lady sighed a long expectant breath and removed the old fashioned wood backed hairbrush from her purse. With a grimace, she slammed the door shut behind her loud enough to wake even the deepest of sleepers.

“Just what the devil is going on here young man? I come here because I have heard you have missed classes and work and this is how I find you? Are you truly a grown man as your age and license claim, or are you a child?” He was awake and off the ground with a speed that she had assumed he only reserved for video games.

In less than a second, he was standing at attention with his hands crossed behind his back. At least some of his training had stuck at least. “ P-p-p-please ma’am, my uh. Oh shit, Lady, LADY, yeah. Please, Lady, I didn’t know you were coming. I had no time to prepare. This uh,., this isn’t what it looks like...”

SLAP! A firm slap prevented him from further mumbling or manufacturing any more excuses. It was time for the Lady to get to work. “After what I had heard about your recent behavior, I did not WANT you to have any extra time to prepare. In fact, it is now painfully clear to me that giving you time to prepare before my previous visits has only allowed you to hide the truth from me. You know our arrangement, the rules I have given you, and my policy on lying. As I said, things are painfully clear to me, and they are about to become painful for you as well. You know what you have done and you know what I must do now. Assume the position.”

The color drained from his face and his eyes bulged. Further excuses died on his tongue as the Lady gave him a stern and impatient look. “Position yourself now, or I open my purse again.”

It was already too late, and further deviation or defiance would make things worse, much much worse. Wading through the trash and clothing he made his way to the desk and the corner, turned the chair to the proper alignment and bent over, grabbing the seat back with white knuckles. Quicker than he could have imagined his boxers were warming his feet and the brush was warming his buttocks. Whack, whack, smack, SLAP!

With each successive strike, a new part of his buttocks began to sting. The Lady was clearly quite practiced at this and moved effectively, possibly with pure muscle memory. Each successive swat was placed in a careful rotation, no spot was left unattended, and no single spot received extra attention. Cheek to cheek, sit spot to tramp stamp, every inch was covered. Five minutes and well over fifty tears later, it was over.

“Don’t ever let it get this bad again, young man. I shall drop in unexpectedly sometime next week. Now stand in the corner, I need some breakfast. fI you move before that red fades, we shall start again.”