We didn't speak in the police car. When we arrived back at the trailer, the awkward, tense silence between us continued. I grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator and wished it was a beer, but gulped it down, relieved that the charges had been dropped, but also uncertain about Carla.

Somehow being on the run with her, trying to hide from the police had a certain excitement and took my mind off of my own problems. I wondered if I should unravel myself from this relationship and chalk it up as a big mistake then remembered reading somewhere, There are no mistakes, only lessons.  

“What now?” Carla finally asked, breaking the tense silence.

“Good question.”

She smiled when I said that which surprised me. Why is she smiling? I wondered. I noticed her dimples, her sweet blue eyes, her hair in a ponytail, the green tank top and tight jeans. Damn, she's beautiful.

Then her smile disappeared and she leaned forward.  

“Josh, I'm so sorry I got you involved in my crazy life. I didn't think it would turn out like this. I said you wouldn't be sorry for taking me with you and I didn't mean just sex. It was more than that.”

I listened and watched her struggling to explain. I remembered how tense and shy she was when we first met at the farm, how she responded to my seductive words and then unleashed her passionate sexuality. I loved her wildness.

She leaned back and smiled again. Her blue eyes gazed into mine. Why is she looking at me like that?

“I believe you're sorry, but why are you smiling and what do you mean it was more than sex?”

“I'm smiling because I know you want me to go with you but you're afraid. I know you better than you think I do.”   

“You do? What am I afraid of?”  

“You're afraid of love, of letting someone into your life, of caring for someone other than yourself.”

“Is that what you think?”

“Yes and that's why you're putting up this wall. It's like an armor. You took me with you because you felt my need and you wanted to save me and be a hero. You were kind, but you won't let go of the armor. You're hiding just like I was.”

“That's nuts.”

“No, it isn't.”

“Yes it is, I'm no hero. I don't know why I took you with me, but it was a mistake. I told you I'm a loner.”

“I know it was hard for you to help me run away, but you did. You did it despite not really wanting to, but you took a chance.”

“It's true, I wanted to help you run away and now I don't know what I want. What I do know is I want to get to Bolinas and not have any hassles.”

“I'm good for you, Josh.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes. Just like you released me, I can release you. I know it. That's what I mean, it's more than sex. You're the one who has to let go.”

I sat back in my seat and didn't know what to say. She was smiling like she knew something I didn't.

“You didn't just come into my life, Josh. I came into yours. You came to the ranch to make some money and I showed up to help my grandfather and we met. You saw what I needed, but I also saw what you needed. We're a lot alike and I know we're good for each other. It might have been luck that you showed up on the ranch, but maybe it wasn't. Sometimes things happen that we can't explain.”

I knew she was talking about fate, something I didn't believe in, but I didn't say anything and let her continue.

“All I know is I was keeping so much anger and pain in I couldn't breathe. I was suffocating. I knew I was living a lie and you knew it too. You saw me, but I saw you too. I was hiding my sexuality, my desires, my fantasies, my spirit and you knew it, but I saw you running away from something you were afraid to face. Josh, we're on the same page. Don't be afraid to love me.”

I closed my eyes and thought about what she was saying. Was I afraid of love, of opening myself up? Was I hiding? Were we really on the same page? Maybe.

When she reached across the table and took my hand, she jarred me out of my thoughts. I looked at her leaning forward, gazing into my eyes with that slight smile. She gently rubbed my hands with her thumb and then tightened her grip on them as if pulling me into her heart.  

“Don't be afraid. Take me with you to Bolinas. You won't be sorry.”

Her words melted my heart and a wave of tenderness swelled in me, a sense that she was right.   

Suddenly, she stood up, still holding my hand; she smiled into my eyes and led me to the back of the trailer. I followed and knew she was going to convince me with her passion that I would be a fool not to be with her. She was seducing me. I didn't know whether I would be sorry or not, but suddenly, I knew I wanted her in my life.  

In the dim light of the small bedroom, she embraced me. When we kissed, I felt her breasts crushed against my chest and her body moving with mine. I knew she could feel my hard cock pressed against her.

“I want to be your woman,” she gasped, pulling her mouth from mine.

“And I want to be your man.” I was surprised to hear myself say that but it felt right.    

“Good.” She smiled and gazed deep into my eyes. “Fuck me and make me yours.”

“No. I'm not going to fuck you, I'm going to make love to you.”

“You always make love to me when you fuck me. I always feel your caring and it makes me want to give myself to you.”

I felt myself getting harder.

“Ravish me. I want to feel your power.”

“No. I'm not going to ravish you. I want you to feel something else.”

“Is that so?” She smiled.

“Yes,” I said and slowly lifted her tank top over her head and tossed it onto the floor. I leaned forward and gently licked her nipple. Her soft moan was like the purr of a petted cat. I unbuttoned her jeans and slowly lowered the zipper while I licked her other nipple. She moaned louder when I placed my hands on her breasts and squeezed them tightly together so that I could lick both nipples at the same time.

“Oh my God,” she gasped then grabbed my head and pulled my mouth harder against her warm soft breasts.   

While sucking and licking her breasts, I took one hand and snaked it inside of her tight jeans and cupped her soaked panty-covered pussy in the palm of my hand. She pushed her pussy harder against my hand and I felt her hunger in her breathless sounds. Hearing her pleasure made me want to give her more.  

She gasped when I took my hand away from her pussy and started to lower her tight jeans. She squirmed as I peeled them slowly over her hips and down her thighs to her ankles, then lifted each foot to take them off. She was barefooted. Kneeling, I kissed and licked her toes, her ankles, her calf, her inner thigh and smelled her intoxicating aroma. With my hands gripping her ass, I  licked her pussy through her wet panties. I wanted to pierce the tantalizing barrier and loved how she pushed her desperate pussy against my mouth, wanting my tongue in her.

“Please, take me. I can't stand this. Fuck me!”

I moved her to the bed and gently pushed her to lie down on her back and slid her soaked panties down her legs, revealing her wet, swollen pussy lips. Kneeling, I lifted her legs over my shoulders and moved the flat of my tongue slowly up and down her dripping pussy causing her to lift her ass off the bed, pull my hair and press herself harder against my mouth.

I licked her pussy like a cat lapping milk. I licked her clit and felt her jolt with each touch of my tongue, then scream, “Take me! Please. Fuck me! Let me cum!”

I stood up and took off my jeans and tossed them while she squirmed up the bed, grabbed the pillow, placed it under her ass and spread her legs, giving herself to me.  As much as I wanted to hold back and keep her on the edge, I wanted my throbbing cock in her tight pussy. It was all I could do to not fuck her brains out.

“Please fuck me!” she screamed, pulling my hair.

I tried ignoring her pleading and somehow found the strength to resist. I hovered over her and took my hard cock in my hand and moved it slowly up and down her dripping pussy.

“Don't do this to me!” she yelled, lifting her ass off of the bed and arched her back.

With my hands on her ass, I pulled her onto my cock, slowly entered, then lowered her to the pillow and savored the warm wet tightness of her pussy clutching my hard, throbbing cock. Neither of us moved. I loved how she felt under me, her breasts crushed against my chest, her legs and arms holding me to her as we lay joined in the most exquisite, intimate, loving way possible. We gazed and smiled into each others' eyes. Our eyes said what words could not express.

Slowly, we moved together in a small swiveling motion and kissed. Our tongues filled our mouths just as my cock filled her tight pussy. We were one and I wanted this moment to never end, but the need to bring each other to ecstasy took over. Her slow squirming under me made me move and gyrate, as if we were slow dancing to our own music. I slowly pulled my cock from her clutching pussy and gazed into her sweet blue eyes and watched the pleasure rippling on her face. When I slowly entered, her mouth opened in breathless desire. Pulling out, I entered her slowly, again and again, each time thrusting harder and faster. Her arms and legs gripped my body.

“Harder! Harder! Oh my God! I love this!”

I responded with harder and harder thrusts. When I felt her tensing, trembling, squeezing and releasing my cock, I rammed into her as hard as I could. Her pussy gripped and squeezed my swollen cock tighter and tighter. I knew she was getting closer.

Her mouth was wide open as her spasms came. Shaking, quivering then suddenly she screamed and her whole body convulsed and erupted in a huge, wild orgasm that made me thrust harder and faster, thrusting like a demon. And then it hit like a thunderbolt and I exploded shooting hot gushes into her overflowing pussy. I had never climaxed with such intensity and writhed above her as the last of my cum spurted into her tight, warm pussy and then I collapsed on her, breathless, unable to budge.

Her strong arms and legs embraced me as I lay between her legs and wallowed in the warm wetness and afterglow. Moments later, I rolled onto my back and gathered Carla into my arms and held her close. She lay half on my chest with her head on my shoulder. I kissed her hair and rubbed her back while we listened to the silence.

It was late afternoon. The realization that we were no longer forced to hide was liberating, but I knew the detective was right. We were now celebrities and the last thing I wanted was to be hounded by reporters and cameras.

I called my friend Steve in Bolinas and asked for some way I could find the town since there were no signs. It was an hour or so north of San Francisco. I told him we would be there late tomorrow and that I had a lot to tell him. Before we left Santa Monica, we took a chance and walked along the empty beach. It was sunset and we stood with our bare feet in the surf and watched the setting sun's red glow on the water.

Carla started collecting sea shells while I stood and listened to the slurp of the water at my feet and looked out at the horizon. Perhaps it was the dreamer in me, but I had always been fascinated by the horizon and how the sea and the sky meet in the distance. I remembered how my imagination took me to places beyond where my eyes could see, places I wanted to know.

After staring out at the horizon, I watched Carla picking up shells and turning them over in her hand and thought how brave it was to run away with me—a stranger, a drifter. I thought about the two of us finding each other by chance on a ranch outside of a small town in Oklahoma, and now we were on a beach together on the edge of the continent. If both of us were running away, where we were running to? Tomorrow we would be in Bolinas...then what?