Chris
This morning was straight out of Satan’s asshole.
I woke up to a long, deep dent of red paint on the back bumper of my Escalade. Whoever hit and run me didn’t have the balls to leave a note, so I had to call insurance for about an hour, spending most of my time listening to some guy without chest hair complain about his grandma's cooking.
The fucking Knicks can’t win a game to save their lives right now. Carmelo Anthony has been dog shit for us; have they heard of something called defense?
Oh, and my third-biggest client, the online jeweler giant Michael Vandeross, has been poached by those snakes over at Dawson’s firm. Apparently, our associates haven’t been up to par, and I’ve been so busy handling Tyco’s Listeria class action that I delegated some of Michael’s work to them.
Associates whom our human resources manager hired.
As the captain of this ship in the sky, my job was to make sure that the fires were tempered and the right people were passing through the door. As Tyco began eating up all my time, my sister Jillian forcibly asked to me to find an HR manager to oversee the hiring instead.
The first one I fired two days in, the second didn’t last one morning, and the third isn’t staying much longer after this recent fuck-up.
‘I’m telling you Michael, we aren’t going to get blindsided like that again,’ I said evenly, pursing my lips. ‘We’ve had some shit associates slip through our ranks, that's all.’
‘And that isn’t my problem,’ he sighed. ‘Look Chris, you’ve been very consistent for me the past few years. We’ve done some good business together, but that has been the second screw-up in the past month. I’m sorry, I don’t have confidence in your dedication to me anymore.’
The associates were to blame for this latest fiasco, but the other time Michael was referring to, I was passed out drunk at Luke and Abigail engagement party.
Love and business don’t mix.
‘Give us another chance,’ I asked in the closest tone I knew to pleading. ‘Whatever those fuckers at Dawson sold you, it’s most likely snake oil.’
‘Well, I’ll just have to find out myself then,’ he said, finality to his voice. ‘I’m sorry it couldn’t work out Chris.’
He hung up.
Fuming, I set the phone down and placed my palms on my desk, gripping the mahogany surface I sanded myself.
I couldn’t fire Luke for inviting me to his engagement party, but I sure as hell could fire that new HR manager for letting second-rate associates into my firm.
Chris
‘Jesus Christ, why the hell did you dump that one?’
Jillian stood with her arms crossed over her chest, a vicious scowl over her expression.
‘Why? Well, out of the four new associates he hired, only one of them knows how to file a fucking liability waver, and the one who does works at the speed of shit,’ I returned bitterly.
Jillian’s look became icier. She wasn’t afraid of my authoritarian attitude. Even though Luke and I were technically the managing partners of this firm, Jillian was the underground Queen, making sure the small fires didn’t become massive ones.
She dealt with the sludge and fine issues of our firm, and had a hand in almost every one of our cases. I respected her immensely for that, but that didn’t mean she could boss me around.
There could only be one man at the top.
‘It took me two weeks to find this one,’ she exclaimed, throwing her hands up to make the most of her tiny frame. ‘He hit all, and I mean all twenty-one checks you wanted. I heard about Vandeross, but give the guy a second chance.’
I sighed deeply, shaking my head. ‘No, no second chances. That’s the law around here and you know it.’
‘Oh my god, shove it up your ass,’ she raged, crossing her arms even tighter.
I didn’t respond.
‘Fine, I’ll spend the next week looking for another victim you’ll tear to shreds,’ she lashed before turning to leave. ‘Also, we’re meeting at Red’s tonight. Everyone. You’re coming too, it’s a Friday.’
Before I could refuse, she slammed the door on the way out.
Women were amazing at the fine details, but too fucking emotional.
Chris
As I swung open the massive wooden door, I heard an awful racket fill the air.
Looking up at the karaoke stage, I saw my brother Jacob with his arm around my cousin Steve. They’re clearly drunk and sharing the microphone, doing no justice to Beyonce’s “Halo”, and scanning the room, I notice that several patrons aren’t exactly pleased.
I made my way to our usual booth, which has become quite crowded with the addition of Abigail and Stacey. I slip in next to Stacey, scrunching my face up at Luke, whose mouth was busy invading the one of the woman next to him.
‘Christ, is that public indecency ever going to stop?’ I groaned as I ordered a Bud.
‘I know you’re just jealous,’ Luke said, grinning a dreamy, puppy-eyed smile that made me regret coming. ‘I’m not going to keep my hands off my fiancée in front of you freaks now that everyone knows.’
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I don’t want to know where your hands are right now,’ I scowled. ‘And it’s been three weeks since she agreed to a lifetime of your shit. You’re still high off using that word?’
‘Fuck you, and yes, my fiancée loves it.’
Abigail laughed. I didn’t know how she found this boy scout funny. ‘How are things at the firm, Chris?’ Her bubbly voice asked.
I glanced over, and Jillian loaded me with an icy stare in between her conversation with Stacey. ‘Not the best week,’ I sighed, taking a deep swig of the beer. ‘Had to fire our HR manager, and another four associates.’
‘You fired Jack?’ Luke asked, frowning and shaking his head in quick, small movements. ‘We were going to the auto show next weekend together. Damn it Chris, we finally find someone man enough to enjoy a classic paint job, and you had to go all Captain America on him.’
‘In the first week. This is the third one we’ve been through this month.’ Jillian’s snarl made me glad that Stacey was in between us.
‘Wait, are you looking for a new HR manager?’ Abigail asked, using her chin to point at me because Luke held both of her hands captive in his.
‘He’s not. I am,’ Jillian complained. ‘Suck a dick Chris.’
Before I could retort, Abigail chimed in. ‘Why don’t you hire Stacey? She worked human resources in Washington.’
All eyes landed on the woman next to me. She had an undertone of an accent that I couldn’t place, the words coming out with a twist at the end. ‘Sure, but I wasn’t the manager,’ Stacey emphasized. ‘And that was a government job, a lot more structured than a law firm.’
Structure? I made sure to keep my firm structured. That’s why Jack and his donkeys were free agents again.
Besides, you needed iron judgment to differentiate between an interviewee who actually wanted a career, and one that was just looking for another resume-booster. Stacey had a good head on her shoulders, but she was still a woman, and women turned into wrecking balls five days a month.
I knew she was still looking for a permanent job right now. If she had a law degree, I wouldn’t think twice about hiring her as an associate, but HR manager? I don’t think so.
‘We’re in the middle of a few other candidates right now,’ I replied, shrugging. ‘Besides, I’m not sure how smart it is working with friends.’
‘I’m your friend,’ Luke teased. ‘And my name is on the wall next to yours.’
‘That’s only because we popped out of the same woman Brimstone,’ I said after taking another sip. ‘You’re damn lucky.’
He devoured Abigail with another wet kiss, and we were all recoils from this side of the table. ‘Yes I am,’ he said dreamily.
‘My vote is with Stace as well. I’m tired of looking through profiles only for them to miss two or three of your impossible demands Chris,’ Jillian urged. ‘Give her a shot.’
‘Jill,’ Stacey began, sighing. ‘It’s really not necessary.’
‘Come on Chris,’ Abigail said in a voice so sweet I could taste the honey. I could see why Luke answered her every beck and call.
‘Yeah, come on Chris,’ Luke grinned, knowing exactly how much I was hating this right now. ‘Make my fiancée happy.’
‘I – Well,’ I stuttered, and all eyes were on me, even Stacey’s big hazel irises held a dash of hope. Sighing, I said, ‘She’ll have to come in for an interview, but fine, why not.’
The table exploded in a cheer, and I barely heard Stacey’s thank you.
Fucking peer pressure.
Chris
The October Monday sky was gray and masked by a fleet of clouds as I made my way to the firm. I lived comfortably close to the building, but morning traffic in Manhattan was still a bitch and a half.
The minivan in front of me was a little too leisured after the light turned green, and I didn't hesitate to blast my horn at him. ‘Get off your fucking cellphone!’ I yelled into the enclosed cabin. Shaking my head, I glanced up at the sullen skies and I felt exactly the same way inside.
Actually, I’d been regretting agreeing to interview Stacey all weekend.
The sting from the Vandeross loss was still heavy in my head, and I needed a solution to our loose hiring problem, not another weakness point – which is why I wanted to oversee hiring again.
It's not that Stacey was a pushover; she oozed confidence. She had the balls to quit her cushy government job in DC and come back to uncertainty in New York, for crying out loud. While she wasn’t in a fulfilling career right now, I knew that she wouldn’t have too hard a time finding what she needed.
And anyone that could win Jillian’s seal of approval was worth their salt. The only other person Jill liked as much as Stacey was Abigail, and everyone loved Abigail. Jillian didn’t have many female friends, and it’s because most found her intimidating. She was an alpha to the end, only liking people who were comfortable with themselves and told her the truth from day one. Problem was, most girls in New York were plastic smiles and behind the back shit-talkers.
Pulling into the underground parking spot reserved with my name on it, I relaxed a bit, thinking maybe Stacey wouldn’t be too bad a fit.
But my slight change of heart wasn’t going to stop me from going all Captain America on her in the interview – if she was joining the team, she would have to prove she can handle stress.
She was waiting for me in my office; I could see that red hair through my office window from across the floor.
I had my hand on my door, but didn’t open it immediately. She was looking out at the city – my office had a view of the Japanese-inspired garden behind our building.
I felt a strange curiosity rise in me, watching her. She must have been wearing heels because she looked a mere two or three inches below my six-four. Stacey was a naturally lanky woman, with legs that went on for days, and stuck out like a scarecrow when she was with Abigail and Jillian.
It’s been less than a month since she moved back from Washington, and I have only talked to her a handful of times. She wore a suit jacket to the trial and a conservative dress to Luke’s engagement party – nothing revealing. I noticed her figure, sure, but any man with enough testosterone would give her a second glance. Besides, she was Abigail’s best friend, so I immediately filed her into the “unavailable” category.
But I’ve never seen her in business attire before today, and I couldn't ditch my curious itch. She wore a simple white button-up blouse up top, but it was the bottoms that grabbed my attention. The blouse was tucked into a skinny black skirt that hugged her thighs and tight little ass cheeks, and I couldn’t help noticing that slim, curvy figure. Her calves peeked out from underneath the skirt, toned, and like everything else about her, long. Pitifully, I had the sudden urge to run my hands all over them.