I hear the front door open and look at the clock on the stove. It’s 4:30 p.m., which means I’ve been dicking around on my phone for almost an hour. I’m sitting on the island counter in the kitchen, wearing the clothes I changed into when I got home from the gym, my comfortable light jean shorts and a muscle tank top. Ethan walks into the kitchen and I give him a once-over. He’s his usual stunning self in a long sleeved knit shirt with the sleeves rolled up and dark denim jeans.

“Hey,” he says.

“Hey.” I smile as he comes towards me. He walks right in between my legs, grabs my face and kisses me.

“When are you leaving?” he asks against my mouth. Looks like he hasn't forgotten about my date with Kyle.

“I don’t know. A couple hours?” I reply and he kisses me again.

“Good,” he says, and one of his hands moves down to my waist, pulling me against his hard chest. I wrap my arms around his neck, our lips pressed tightly together. God, I love kissing him. We open our mouths at the same time and our tongues meet, swirling around each other. He tastes delicious. Like sweet mint. His hand on my face moves down between us and his index finger hooks around my short jeans and brushes against my lace.

I gasp. “Eager are we?” I ask and he gives me a guilty smile and shrugs one shoulder in a ‘What can I say?’ gesture.

“Let me fuck you,” he says, starting to rub my clit from outside the fabric. I hum a small moan and nod my head. He kisses me deeply once more, then gently pushes my shoulder until I’m lying on the countertop. With precision only his large hands are capable of, my shorts are undone and on the floor in a second.

“Oh my God, Chanel.” Ethan is staring at my black lace cheeky panties. “Let me see your ass,” he says, and his eyes meet mine. I’m smiling at him like he’s a hormonal teenager and scoot off the counter. He doesn’t move, giving me minimal room to turn around. And when I’m facing the island, his dick is pressed into my ass. His left hand caresses my hip and his right hand pushes between my shoulder blades. Just like the other time we fucked on this very same counter, I’m leaning my top half flat against the marble, the balls of my feet on the floor.

“Stay,” he says and steps back removing his hands from my body. I’m left lying on the counter as he takes in the view, and I hear a subtle ‘mmmm’ come from him. Apparently he likes these underwear as much as I do. They're comfortable stretchy lace, looking painted on as my ass shows beneath the bottom of the wide thong. I hear him move and he gingerly takes my arms off the counter, bends them and places them on my lower back, left above right. And then steps back again.

"I like that,” he says quietly. "Do you know how fucking amazing your ass is?"

I laugh. "I'm starting to."

He moves over me. "Good," he whispers, sucks my earlobe and kisses my neck. He moves back again and I feel his hands all over my backside. And suddenly his mouth is on me. His lips press onto my sex from behind, and I hum. He licks the fabric, peels over one side of the lace, and then his mouth is really on me.

I gasp and lift my head, but don't move my body, arms still behind my back. I've never been eaten out from behind before. And I already fucking like it. He gently sucks on my clit, then licks up my cunt. One hand keeping my panties out of his way, Ethan's other hand is kneading my left cheek.

"Oh fuck," I whisper, reeling. Is there anything he can do that won't make me immediately want to combust? In his one movement I'm already wet and ready. But he keeps licking. He uses the tip of his tongue as he carefully, expertly, fucking amazingly licks my folds. And then his whole mouth is on me, wide and wet and hot, like he's making out with my pussy. And I fucking moan.

"Oh fuck, Ethan," I say in a surprised, appreciative tone.

"You like it?" he asks, and I nod my head, though probably can't see.

"Yeeeeess," I whisper, reveling in the feel of his wonderful touch.

"I fucking love your ass, Chanel,” Ethan says against my skin and licks me some more. He teases my clit, makes a wide lick up my slit and reaches the top sliding his tongue inside my tight hole. In and out, his expert muscle fondles my insides and I love it.

And then - holy fucking shit. He does something I didn't expect, I've never had and never thought about. Because my cunt wasn't the very top of this particular adventure. He slides his tongue out of me, licks over a groove, and his wet tongue is pressed against my ass.

I cringe and gasp and don't know what to fucking do. This is weird. Isn't it? Somehow, I can't find myself to stick to that conclusion just yet. Because he goes back down to my clit, flicks and sucks, then licks my pussy and again, is on the most foreign part of my anatomy. And... I kind of fucking like it. It's so taboo and different, and naughty, and it turns my insides to fireworks. Tingling heat pools in my stomach, inflaming my lower region. And because I haven't made him stop, he's added it to his circuit of assault. I'm moaning and my muscles are twitching and because this is so fucking crazy and hot, I could cum if he continues.

"Ethan." I say his name between deep breaths, and apparently he's come to know that tone very well, because he stops. He takes my arms off my back, pulls me and scoops me up bridal style.

"I don't want you to cum yet,” he says, looking down at me as he walks. I was so close and I'm so horny, I kiss him. I want to taste myself, and I think he senses this because his tongue is in my mouth. We're in his bedroom, and I only know this because it's next to the kitchen. The whole world could be crumbling and I wouldn't realize it.

Ethan gets to his bed and sets me on my ass, breaking our kiss. He slides my tank top off and throws it, my blue push up now exposed. He leans forward and kisses me until I'm leaning back on my elbows on the soft feather top. Standing up straight, Ethan is looking me right in the eye as he starts undoing his pants.

I look right back, biting my lip, letting him know how very much I want this. He pulls out his dick, already hard, and slips off his shirt. And though I’ve seen him and felt him before, I can’t help the overwhelming intimidation from seeing him hang there. I could look at him all day. His toned upper body, dick hanging out of his pants. I want to lick him everywhere. But he doesn't give me the chance. Ethan swiftly removes my panties and spreads my legs wide. His thumb is applying pressure to my clit as he pushes the head of his cock inside me.

I can't look away from his face as my jaw drops with the feeling. The head is in then he pops it back out and repeats. When I'm squirming uncontrollably, he slowly slides the rest of himself in. We're both panting as he stills, letting my tight muscles adjust around him. Then without warning, he backs up and slams into me, and I drop completely on the bed.

"Ohhh my God," I moan, because he's just spiked my climb. He does it again and I arch my back. Then he slides out of me, and right when I look up he starts fucking eating me again. His hands push my legs together and forward so my knees are in front of my face while he licks me. And he's everywhere. Furiously licking and sucking my pink skin and down to my ass where he sticks his tongue in as far as it will go. And I can handle it no more.

"Ethan," I cry out his name as I feel the tingling grow strong, unstoppable. He pulls away and stands up and starts fucking me right as my insides start pulsing with my orgasm.

"Ohh fuck!" I scream, clawing the comforter underneath me. My back is bowed and my hips start a rhythm, aching to feel more of him. I hear him grunt as my cunt throbs around him. He's leaving no spot untouched, completely filling me, over and over again.

When my moaning subsides and my body starts to relax, he slows his pace but doesn't stop completely. My body gently starts shaking from his continued penetration.

"Sh-sh-shit," I whisper. That was fucking incredible. My sensitive insides agree with that assessment. When I'm completely down from my high, I'm aching to go limp, but Ethan hasn't stopped, making my legs still tight trying to manage him.

I put my hand on his stomach, hoping he'll stop. Instead, he takes both my hands and holds them down at my sides on the bed. He keeps up his rhythm and I whimper, shiver after shiver coursing through my body at the intense sensitivity.

"Keep going, baby," he coaxes me, and the sound of his husky voice gives me another shiver. After a couple minutes of his ruthless pace, my hips subtly start moving with his. I'm unbelievably wet and it makes him feel that much better. I open my eyes and he's staring at me.

"Good girl," he says at my effort to keep going. I bite my lip and move my hips more.

"God, you're so fucking tight," he says, looking down between us. I put the heels of my feet on the edge of the bed and use them as leverage to push against him. He hums and starts going faster, releasing my hands and picking up my hips to meet his. When I let out a groan, he looks up at me and stops.

"I want you on top of me,” he says and slides out of me, laying me back on the bed. He takes off his pants and throws them on the bed next to me.

Ethan picks me up and I wrap my legs around him. He turns and sits on the bed with me in his lap and I kiss him eagerly. I've never been on top of him before. Not even the first night we fucked in his bed. And I'm excited. He shamelessly grabs my ass and pulls me flush against his chest. With his tongue in my mouth, he slides his hand up my back and unhooks my bra. He throws it with a smile and I’m now completely naked.

He reaches down between us and guides himself back to me. I lower myself on him and we both gasp. Oh fuck yes. My warmth takes him in as I cautiously make my way down. When I'm up to the hilt, I feel him all the way at that very, very deep spot and moan.

"Christ," he breathes as he wraps his arms around me and buries his face in my neck. After a moment he starts moving me. Carefully, he takes my waist and raises me up and back down. The second time he lifts me almost all the way off, then he slides me back down and moans the sexiest fucking thing I've ever heard. I start rotating my hips and he squeezes his eyes shut. Up and down with circular motions, I'm slowly but surely driving him crazy. When he moans again, I go all savage and push him onto the bed to ride him completely. Straddling his dick, I put my hands on his chest and really start fucking him.

Oh my fucking Christ, this is amazing. Since I'm in control, I can decide how far he goes in. For a while I just pretty much work the top half of his cock. He doesn't complain gripping tightly to my hips leaning his head forward to watch. I can see the muscles in his stomach being put to use and I can't help but touch them.

When I decide to go farther, I roll my hips on the top of his dick and drop myself on top of him. And it almost hurts, but I moan in pleasure.

"Uh fuck," he grunts and starts doing the work himself. No longer lying still and taking it, he's in control again, pumping himself up into me. The sight of him working me from underneath, his face contorted with pleasure, his eyes watching our bodies meet, drives me crazy.

And then I hear something that makes us both slow.

"Shit," Ethan hisses and reaches for his jeans at the end of the bed. He grabs his phone out of the pants pocket and it's ringing. I move to get off of his lap, but his left hand firmly grips my hip, keeping me on him.

"Hello?" he asks. I sit and watch the expressions on his face; distracted is the main one.

"Yeah... not the second one." He's seriously talking on the phone while he's inside me right now. And after the shock wears off, no fucking joke, it makes me hotter.

"What about it? What time did that happen?" He's looking at me and I produce a wicked smile. I start fucking him slowly. His head dips back an inch and his mouth opens. Oh fuck. I go faster.

"Yeah," he says in a strained voice, squeezing my firm hip. "Nothing. Have you called Danny yet?" And I smile bigger, because this is so fucking hot and funny at the same time. I go up and move back down, taking all of him. With his dick all the way in, I hump him forward and back quickly, his pubic bone rubbing against my clit, and I start feeling my own climax building.

"Okay," he breathes, and I moan.

"Okay, I'll be there soon,” he groans out and tosses his phone. And before I can blink, he’s flipped us over, him now on top of me. His hand are wrapped firmly around my wrists pinning them to the bed.

"Mmm," he hums, shaking his head. "You're a very bad girl, Chanel." I bite my lip and nod, wrapping my legs around his waist. He pulls out and slams back into me, and I gasp. He does it again. And again. And on the fourth stroke, I'm nearly there.

"Ethan, I'm gonna cum," I gasp out and he leans back on his knees, releasing my arms so he can rub his thumb against my clit while he keeps up his pace. And I'm gone. I combust around him and meet my hips to his so hard cry out.

"Fuck," he whispers breathlessly, and suddenly I feel his warm cum filling me up. Spurt after spurt his dick throbs inside me as my body tingles everywhere.

"Ethaaaann," I call out his name and he slams me again. His movements start faltering and we're both panting so hard I shiver. And with that, he flops on top of me burying his face in my neck.

"God damn, Chanel," he says panting. My right hand is on his back, but the rest of my body is limp. I'm sated beyond belief as his words from yesterday come back to me. Now I know why he wanted to fuck me before I left with Kyle: so I would know I can't get it better with anyone else. No one has ever, and could never fuck me like he does. He wants me to himself in a way that makes me want to sing and run at the same time. I almost feel like he's marking his territory, and another shiver rolls down my spine.

He kisses my neck and up my cheek until he finds my mouth. He gives me a soft kiss, and I feel like the air around us just got harder to breathe, thick with some unknown emotion. I'm staring at him, and with everything that scares me in this moment, about this moment, I push it aside as his green eyes penetrate mine. And I kiss him. And I pour everything I'm feeling into this kiss. Every confusing and upsetting and longing feeling I have. And God damn it, he kisses me back like he fucking knows. He holds my face and kisses me so fucking sweetly I want to scream. Because this is so fucked up.

When we need to catch our breath again, he pulls himself onto his elbows. I bite my lip and he looks...shy. And I realize I probably do, too. God we're pathetic.

"That was fucking incredible," I admit, and he smiles.

"That was the point," he whispers in my ear and gives me a chaste kiss, pulling himself out of me. "And now I need to go to work,” he says with a sigh and starts finding clothes.

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” I reply sitting up. “For how long?” I ask. Then mentally slap myself. Why the fuck does it matter?

“Not sure. Something’s fucking broken again. I wasn't paying much attention,” he says smirking. He grabs his shirt with his pants still undone and walks into the bathroom. I slip on my bra, shirt and panties, and he comes out tidy and sexy again. I dance a little inside when I realize again what we’ve just done and how secret it is. He’s mine in a way no one else knows, and excitement courses through my body. And then my insides throb in protest.

Ethan walks to me, gives me a soft kiss, says, "Goodbye, Chanel," and then leaves.

***

By 6:30 I’m dressed in a tight, short, light grey lace dress. It flatters my figure cutting off half way down my thighs, has a low v-neckline and the sleeves end just past my elbows. I slide into my pointed toe white stilettos and fluff my silky, wavy hair. I feel good. I grab my white clutch purse and head upstairs to meet Kyle. Aaliyah decided on a nice restaurant where we could all hang out and drink good wine.

And when I say ‘all’, I mean everyone is coming. Taniyah is still down, Aaliyah is bringing Dylan, I’m with Kyle, and he managed to get his friend Jake to come with. I’ve known Jake since Kyle and I were last dating. And I’m sure he got him to come after he described Taniyah.

Kyle, Jake and I pick up Taniyah on the way, riding in Kyle's five door Ford Focus. She walks out in painted on jeans tight around her thin ankles and a red peplum top flaring out above her slim hips. The deep red shirt with her long black hair goes so beautifully, I want to hate her... and fuck her at the same time. And you know we're all fucking staring at her.

We banter about how we’ve been as we approach the restaurant, Aaliyah and Dylan already waiting for us when we reach the table.

“Chanel, I’ve missed you,” Aaliyah cooes and gives me a hug when I sit next to her. I return her embrace and smile widely at her. I love this woman.

“I’ve missed you. How are you?” I reply getting settled. Kyle sits on my other side and winks at me. I smile shyly and turn to talk to Aaliyah. She starts going on about ziplining on the beach this summer. It’s April, but the weather will be hot soon enough. We agree to try and make it happen and invite Taniyah with us, earning some ‘boo’s’ from the boys. I guess the thought of the three of us in bikini’s being harnessed, engaging in attractive activities by ourselves on a hot sandy beach wasn’t their definition of fun, as they pointed out.

We all split a bottle of some European Chardonnay and order food. And I’m having more fun than I expected. Everyone’s talking with everyone, complimenting each other and sharing stories. Bunch of good looking people. It’s nice to have mature friends that don’t all have kids yet, with the exception of Dylan. His boy is with his ex-wife. We’re still all under thirty though. I think Dylan’s the oldest.

I feel happy for Aaliyah, watching her and Dylan interact. Any bystander could see how well they go together. Kyle occasionally puts his hand on the back of my chair and strokes my back, or brushes my thigh. However, every time I shift and feel the subtle tenderness between my legs, it’s not Kyle I’m thinking of. And suddenly I have a really, really fucking strange urge to have Ethan with me. I wish he were here with me and all my friends. His thumb stroking the lace on my shoulder. He definitely knew what he was doing earlier.

We all eat our steaks and shellfish and bomb ass table bread, and when we’re on our second bottle of wine, the men pay the tab without taking arguments from us women.

“Chandler's upset she didn’t get invited,” Aaliyah says to me.

“Of course she is,” Dylan says and smiles, shaking his head and we laugh, but we all know he’s serious.

“She would have been alone. Who would she bring? Daniel?” Taniyah chimes in and we laugh at the inside joke. Though Taniyah is related to Chandler, even she can smell an attention hog. I think that may be why Chandler keeps stringing Daniel along, making sure someone wants her.

“Six is a crowd anyway,” Dylan says.

“What is everyone doing after this?” Aaliyah asks.

“I think we should get these ladies some more drinks,” Jake says with a wide smile. The other men at the table agree while us women laugh at his audacity.

“We could buy a few bottles and go somewhere?” Kyle adds.

"What, like a party?” I ask facetiously.

“What about your house, Chanel?” Aaliyah asks and they all look to me.

“You guys want to party at my house?”

“Just drink a little. We’ll keep it together, we’re not high schoolers,” Aaliyah replies and we all laugh, claiming different for the person next to us.

“Let me call Ethan, make sure it’s cool.” I take out my phone and ring him while the conversation picks up again about booze and friends.

“Chanel,” Ethan answers after a few rings.

“Hey, Ethan, how’s work?” I ask to get the conversation going.

“It’s good, how are you?”

“I’m good. We’re all at the restaurant and they want to come back to our house and hang out. Seeing if you had any objections,” I reply.

“No I don’t mind, I’m still working,” he says, and his deep voice brings back memories from today, and no shit, I feel my neck heat up. His tricky plan definitely worked.

“'Kay. cool, I’ll see you later.”

“Sounds good,” he says, and we hang up. And when I turn to Aaliyah, she’s got a delicate black eyebrow arched at me. She looks curious... or suspicious.

“He said it’s cool,” I tell her, trying not to make myself completely transparent.

After a moment, she says, “Cool,” and brushes it off. But I have a strong feeling there may be a question or two later. Eventually we all grab our shit and head outside. The weather’s perfect as it creeps up on 9 p.m.. The men decide to pay for the alcohol as well. Dylan graciously lets Aaliyah drive his RX8 while the men take Kyle’s Focus to the liquor store. And she looks good in it, cruising in her short, deep blue dress and heels.

We get to the house and walk into the kitchen. I pick up some mail off the counter to put it away. I’m pretty anal about cleanliness, and it’s even worse when I have company over. No one wants to hang out in a dirty fucking house. Good thing it’s only mail.

“So, Jake, what the fuck?” Aaliyah asks, and we laugh. They’re leaning against the island as I hop gracefully onto the counter by the microwave, still wearing my tight dress.

“I know, right. I do not remember him being that cute," I say, shaking my head as I recall him over three years ago. He’s barely shorter than the other guys, dark hair, dark eyes with a little facial hair. Freakin A.

“No shit,” Aaliyah agrees, and points out Taniyah’s light blush. “You like him,” she accuses.

“I don’t even know him,” Taniyah says, but still has a smile on her face.

“Well, looks like you’ll have time to get to know him,” Aaliyah replies with a wink, and we laugh again.

“So how are things with Dylan?” I ask Aaliyah, kind of curious about details. She smiles widely.

"He's awesome you guys." And she’s seriously fucking happy. I haven’t seen this look on her face in a while.

“He let you drive his car. He’s gotta be in love with you,” I remark, and she fans her face facetiously.

“I know haha, I want his Mazda," she jokes. “No, I wouldn’t call it love yet. He’s been spending more time with me though. He’s such a good guy, I wish I could get him to see it sometimes,” she says, and looks to the counter. It can be hard to love someone who doesn’t love themselves.

“I don’t think you have anything to worry about. You should see the effect you have on him. You guys are adorable,” Taniyah says, and I agree. “I think you’re doing the right thing taking your time,” she adds, and Aaliyah smiles at her.

“Thank you. It’s so easy sometimes. And hard others.” She shrugs, but ultimately looks happy with the situation.

When my doorbell rings, Aaliyah goes to answer it. The boys come in with a few bags and I walk into the living room. Firing up the satellite service, I find a music channel and turn it up. Ethan’s surround sound sure comes in handy.

There’s conversation and bottles and cans everywhere. Liquor and chasers and beer and... cashews. This ought to be fun. I reach up into the cupboard to take out more shot glasses. Kyle comes up behind me wrapping his arms around my waist.

“Need any help?” he whispers in my ear. I smile, but on the inside I’m torn. How do I not let him on? I’ve been trying to keep a safe distance all night. This is gonna give me an aneurysm.

“Yes, please. Put these on the island will you?” I ask, and start handing him some shot and double shot glasses. When Aaliyah gets all our attention, she demands we all take a shot with her. I unscrew the Sailor Jerry’s bottle of rum and pour one for myself. And snag a nearby Coca Cola. When we have our poison poured, we raise our spirits for a toast.

“To sexy ass friends and good times. And I hope you guys don’t have shit to do tomorrow cause you’re getting drunk with me!” Aaliyah exclaims, and we all laugh and salut and throw back our liquor. After ten minutes or so, Aaliyah asks if she can talk with me.

“Of course. Lets go outside,” I say, and we sneak through the dining room and outside to the patio. We slide into the chairs and breath in the smooth, clear twilight air.

“Let me invite Chandler over,” Is the first thing out of her mouth, and I sigh.

“I don’t want to piss anyone else off,” I warn. I don’t want to say no right away because I know her heart’s in the right place. As a friend, Chandler can be a good person, and Aaliyah doesn’t fuck anyone over who treats her right. It really is admirable.

“I know,” she says with a serious look on her face. “I’ve talked to her. Told her she needs to behave herself. I told her she couldn’t come to dinner and I want to make it up to her. And we’re already all here. If we get everyone drunk enough, maybe they won’t mind.” And we both laugh.

“Then yeah, go ahead. Invite Stephanie, too,” I add in. I haven’t seen her since last time we were all at the lounge. Aaliyah pulls her phone from her cleavage and starts sending messages. I close my eyes to concentrate on the warmth starting in my body from the liquor.

“So...” Aaliyah says, and I open my eyes meeting her gaze.

“So?” I ask.

“....Ethan?” She says his name quietly, and I blanch.

“What about him?” I ask, sitting up in my seat a little further. She smiles.

“Chanel, I’ve known you for over five years,” she says as if that should halt any further resistance. And it’s working. Not just because she’s my best friend, but because part of me has been aching to talk to someone since the intensity of this afternoon. Should I? Fuck.

“Uh..” I reply, racking my brain for the right move. And just gave myself away for not immediately denying anything. A concerned look spreads on Aaliyah’s face.

“What is it?” She asks. Her dark eyes etched with worry and curiosity hold me. I exhale heavily and drop my face in my hands.

“I fucked him,” I mumble.

“You what?” She asks surprised.

“I fucked him, Aaliyah.” I pick up my head and look at her. Her eyes are the widest I’ve ever seen them.

“When?” She asks, breaking her catatonic gaze. She’s well aware that Ethan is married. I met her right before I met him, and we’ve all been friends the whole time.

“Let me start at the beginning,” I tell her, holding up my hands. I launch into the story of Nicole staying with her sister, Amber, preparing for the wedding, and how she started fucking the best man. I tell her how Ethan found the texts, and how he made a move on me. I had to carefully articulate how I didn't know at first... and how completely awful I felt. But ultimately, things had ended between them and started with Ethan and I.

“So you’re not a homewrecker?” she asks, sounding hopeful, echoing my exact thoughts when I found out. I shrug and shake my head.

“I guess not.”

“Oh my God,” she says thinking this through some more. After a minute she breaks the silence. “It was good?” she asks quietly. A wide smile breaks across my face.

“Uh...it is good,” I clarify guiltily, and she gasps.

“More than once?”

“Yeah. Quite a few. We went out to eat yesterday, and you know what he told me?”

“What?”

“He said he wanted to fuck me before I left to hang with Kyle tonight,” I say, and her jaw drops.

“Why?” She asks, intensely curious.

“Because he doesn’t want me to fuck Kyle again.”

“So you had sex with Ethan before we all went out to dinner?”

“Yeah.” I nod my head. “And it’s fucking working. I don’t want to have relations with both of them at the same time. And if I’m being honest, I’d rather fuck Ethan.”

“You dog, you,” she jokes and I laugh.

“This is serious, Aaliyah. I already feel bad enough fucking Kyle then turning around and getting with Ethan, not knowing Nicole cheated on him. That was an emotional rollercoaster. And now that I do know, we’ve made it clear we don’t want to stop fucking each other. But what will that mean? We’re seeing each other? It’s not just sex, he doesn’t want me with anyone else if he can help it. But it is just sex, you know? We’re certainly not together. God I don’t know, I’m so confused,” I say in a rush, all these unspoken questions that have built up, tumbling out of my face.

“So it’s over between them?” she asks.

“It's looking that way.” I nod with conviction.

“And you guys like fucking each other,” she says bluntly.

“Very much,” I reply.

“And I’m guessing you both don’t want to complicate things more than they already are?”

“Obviously.”

“Well then you’re already over thinking this babe. I’m sure you’ve been trying not to. And I’m hurt that you didn’t tell me this before, but I get why you didn’t want to share. But all that aside, you have to give each other time.”

And I’m a little surprised she has advice on this subject. But then I think about her and Dylan, and it does all make sense. She’s been doing this delicate dance with Dylan for a while. Both wanting each other’s company, but not wanting it to get too far. Dylan’s been divorced officially for all of two months, and he met Aaliyah right before that happened. They both like each other, but Dylan doesn’t want anything serious. We got into a deep conversation once about how he’s working on himself. His ending marriage left him with low self esteem and stress, but there’s more between him and Aaliyah...without it being spoken. She is helping him, and he’s letting her. But they’re pacing themselves, and it makes fucking sense.

She breaks my reverie. "If something feels right, I say do it. Rule of thumb, don’t talk about the future. Keep yourself at a distance, you won’t get hurt. But don’t deny your feelings. Regulate them," she ends with a sigh.

“I should be taking notes,” I say and we both laugh. “You’re right though, I am thinking about this too much. I've just never been in this kind of situation before. And I know this goes without saying, but pleaaase don’t tell anyone about this.”

She looks at me like I’m stupid. “Duh,” she says and snickers at me.

“Thank you, Aaliyah. I love you," I purr and she laughs, giving me a hug.

"Of course, doll. Now let's get back in there before they come looking for us," she says, and we stand up, heading inside.