Charity Has its Rewards

By flytoomuch

Original link:

Tags: threesome, playful sex, fmf, ropes

Added: 09 May 2012 Views: 12287 Avg Score: 4.41

John seriously needs some cheering-up and two sexy charity volunteers prove perfect for the job.
This story appears exclusively on This story is written for the lovely ladies from the Philippines who up until now have been neglected in my coverage of Asian leading ladies.

Let us go then you and I as the Philippine sunset is plastered blood red against the sky. Do not remind me how my hair is growing thin; the waves splash cold against my skin.

John’s Banka boat cuts through the foam-crested blue-green waves of the south Asian Sulu Sea. John is troubled by the eternal question: “Do I dare disturb the universe?” John’s mind wanders as he digresses lost in a fog of ennui. The soft ocean breeze triggers memories, fading distant memories; hints of the scented perfume from her coral colored dress tease his brain with almost recalled remembrances. Was she wearing a wrap? A shawl? Was she wearing either at all? John ponders and then ponders further, feeling old and tired, his mind deserting him, the sea breeze turning cold.

John was “lost” again, his soul cast adrift, his moorings dislodged. He was once again trudging heavy footed through this vale of tears—valle lacrimarum! What was the point of it all? John asked himself the existential question as he measured out his life with coffee spoons. Feeling a tight pressure in his chest he hesitated; was it nothing more than the weight of lost evenings, mornings, and afternoons?

When John felt shitty like this what was the salve for his conscience? How did he revive himself and find solace? In the junkyard of life where for god’s sake could you find purpose? Where in the giant fucking haystack does one start rummaging around for the proverbial “needle”? When his singularly pathetic life seemed a lost cause where could John find meaning? What was his purpose? Why had he ever even been born?

Charity! Charity and a visit to True Light is what always did the trick.

John’s diving buddy Emile Shuffendecker was the one who first directed him towards Negros Island in the southern Philippines. Usually John went diving in Bohol, Cebu or Boracay. Negros Island was off the beaten track, but John for some reason loved it from the very first visit. The diving wasn’t spectacular, but the people of Negros were so friendly and the island so unspoiled. Some men are happy to live in an artificial urban world of women airbrushed with a knife and sculpted with silicone. John liked the “real thing” and Negros Island was certainly the real deal. John, like Gauguin, was looking for his own “way to paradise” and the ferry ride to Negros seemed as plausible a route as any.

During his first diving trip on Negros John had met Kat, a cute local Filipino girl who was nervously embarking on her first dive after having completed her PADI certification course. Kat’s instructor was a local master diver who was a friend of her cousins. Kat had been certified as a freebie “relative” since she certainly didn’t have the kind of money to spare to pay the extortionate “foreigner” rate to get a PADI certification.

Sexy young Kat was saving up her money to immigrate to Australia so she could improve her life and that of her family. Kat was clearly a bit nervous about her first dive and John helped her set up her tank and calmed her down. The dive was a nice drift dive following a gentle current along a deep channel. The divers would meander along the sheer wall enjoying the scenery as they floated along. The dive turned out great and John kept a careful eye on Kat the whole time. John pointed out a large Snowflake Moray eel that was hiding in some dense colorful pink and white coral. When the dive ended Kat was ecstatic and she and John chatted and quickly bonded notwithstanding the difference in their ages. Kat was a young and naïve twenty-one and John was a much older and more worldly forty-three.

John had so much fun on that first visit to Negros he extended his stay and rented a jeep to explore the island. Kat offered to be his “guide” and show John around the island. Kat, it turns out, was a newly graduated registered nurse, but unemployed due to the terrible economic situation in the Philippines. John learned that Kat only did part time documentation work for a local pharmacy and was quite worried about her future and the bleak job situation in the Philippines. When John proposed that he pay Kat to be his guide, translator and driver she smiled a beautiful wide beaming smile and jumped at the opportunity.

The first day they left to travel around Negros Island Kat showed up in a nice light blue cotton sundress that was fairly flirty and short, with her hair pulled back in a ponytail. Kat looked so young, beautiful and fresh, with her tanned and honey-toned smooth legs and pink flip-flops, her bright pink toenails and her beaming smile, that John guiltily couldn’t help feeling attracted to her.

Kat threw her small bag of clothes in the back of the red jeep and they headed off down what passed for a road in Negros. In reality it was nothing more than a narrow strip of dirt that wound along the coastline; the government’s excuse for a highway. In the Philippines (and much of the world for that matter) the taxes the government was collecting from the chumps unfortunate enough to have to pay tax were not being spent to build real roads, real schools or real hospitals or silly things like that. No, in private banking enclaves like Singapore slimy and expensively attired private bankers who had been educated by Ivy League universities were salting away the money on behalf of corrupt officials. Goldman Sachs called this division “private banking” or “private office”; John called it simply “a laundry”. The taxes would then disappear into the anonymous accounts of BVI companies with untraceable owners who were, in fact, the rather more slimy politicians charged with the sacred trust over these public monies.

Kat should have been a Formula 1 driver John thought to himself as she careened around corners with the outside wheels barely holding grip. John found himself more than once grabbing the Jeep’s roll bar with his stomach churning in butterflies. If he chose to think of how his life was hanging on the integrity of a few centimeters of rubber connecting with some gravel it would have scared him shitless. John chose to block this scary thought out of his mind. John made the assumption that Kat knew these roads and probably did not want to end her own life at such a youthful age and this enabled him to gradually calm down and get used to Kat’s wild driving.

Often driving in the hectic bumper-to-bumper traffic of Hong Kong or London with the never ending stop and go, the pollution, the nerve wracking almost accidents, John would want to rail against the world. Swear words would tumble out of his mouth and he’d curse his own mother for even giving birth to him. Driving here on the pristine Negros Island coastline with only the rare passing Jeepny going the other direction to remind him other humans inhabited the earth it was the opposite experience. The canopy of the red Jeep offered shade from the blistering mid-day sun and a cool ocean breeze made the drive enjoyable and soothing. The view of the blue-green ocean vista leading the eye seemingly into eternity made earthly problems seem to sweep away. The sound of the engine humming, the brightness of the glaring sun reflecting off the brown earthy hills, the endless blue of the ocean lulled John into a calm.

After driving for hours along the beautiful coastline and stopping for a picnic on a secluded white sandy beach John and Kat eventually ended up in a tiny remote community on the western coast of Negros named Santa Catalina. When John asked Kat what was here in this community she answered “nothing”. John looked at her, looked at the jumble of handmade squatter shacks that passed for houses in the village and then looked up across the rising rocky hill in the distance to a large and imposing white Spanish looking building with two large wings jutting out on each side.

“Well what’s that big building up on the hill then if there is nothing here Kat?”

“Oh that. Well that’s just the girls orphanage.”

And that is how John, a man who was often melancholy, often felt the dry taste of ash in his mouth when life disappointed him once again, came to become associated with the “Sisters of True Light Holy Rosary Orphanage” known locally simply as “True Light”. Run by an order of nuns called the “Order of Total Conviction” the orphanage took in abandoned female children and took care of them until they were eighteen-years-old. John looked at Kat’s perplexed face and insisted she take him to the orphanage.

“Oh John, you can’t go to True Light, you’re a man. The nuns won’t know what to do if you show up?”

John looked at Kat and assessed the situation. John’s eyes and his soul were somehow drawn towards True Light as if by a powerful unseen magnet. John gazed at the large white building that seemed to be almost floating in the shimmering heat waves caused by the intensity of the blazing summer sun rising off the baking rocks of the hillside.

“Tell them I have money.” John said to Kat curtly.

John knew from experience gathered in every corner of the globe that it was a rare problem or dilemma that Benjamin Franklin couldn’t solve. The US hundred-dollar bill tended to have an amazing impact on closed doors and recalcitrant officials. Kat looked unconvinced that money would influence nuns whom she had been taught as a child were inspired by God himself. John was about to show Kat why Benjamin Franklin was more widely worshiped worldwide than either Jesus Christ or Mohammed.

They drove up the fairly steep hill along the long winding earthen driveway towards the huge and imposing white Spanish type structure. Finally stopping in the circular front driveway covered in broken white pebbles that made a crunching sound under the Jeep’s tires they dismounted the jeep. John with Kat at his side approached the very tall amber colored teak doors with large black metal hinges. John encouraged a timid and reluctant Kat to take up the large black metal knocking ring and rap on the huge wooden doors with a loud metallic sound. The loud clanging sound of the metal knocker reverberated in the stultifying summer heat and penetrated the heavy silence that surrounded the orphanage.

John was surprised as there was no sound of children laughing and running around? In fact there was no sound at all and John and Kat waited in the stultifying heat, humidity and silence. John realized Kat wanted to just leave, so he reached forward and slammed the ring down making an even louder knock. Finally they could hear sounds of scuttling shoes behind the imposing door and after a long wait the door swung open with an eerie creaking sound and a terribly young nun, perhaps no more than sixteen or seventeen, stood before them perplexed and befuddled as to why they were standing there.

There was a flurry of discussion in Tagalog between Kat and the young nun and several attempts were made to shoo them away from the orphanage. To the dismay of both Kat and the young nun John was not about to leave and insisted on meeting the Mother Superior. With much consternation and a loud exclamation the young nun told them to wait and the large teak doors thudded shut in their faces.

John and Kat waited a long time before the doors finally creaked open again and swung wide. Down a long sweeping grey marble staircase an elderly old nun in a white frock slowly descended the stairs into the large round portico arrival hall with a vaulted dome ceiling. John was invited in to meet Mother Superior Madame Imelda. Kat stood nervously at John’s side and was fidgeting her fingers, having obviously not been used to bullying her way into meetings with superiors of the church. John for his part was smiling and thoroughly enjoying himself, as he loved taking people who were used to getting their way and bending them a little.

More discussion took place in Tagalog. It was apparent the Mother Superior spoke good English, but she preferred to use Tagalog to keep John on his back foot. John had Kat explain that he wanted to help the orphanage, learn about its history and to meet the orphans. Repeatedly it was explained to John that this was impossible and that men were rarely admitted into the orphanage. John kept silently repeating in his head, “Blah, blah, blah” as he looked the Mother Superior squarely in the eye and smiled a broad innocent smile. John turned to Kat.

“Tell her to wait a minute while I go to the Jeep.”

Everyone looked stunned and it was obvious that the Mother Superior was not used to being treated this way. John retreated to the Jeep and reached inside his large black dive bag for the small satchel with the locked pouch. He twirled the combination and zipped open the pouch and pulled out a wad of Benjamin’s large enough to choke a camel. John returned to the airy orphanage portico and in the presence of the Mother Superior he slowly peeled off twenty crisp new bills. The paper sound of the crisp new bills was clear and emphatic in the silence of the portico. John chuckled inside as he watched the pupils of the Mother Superior’s eyes widen as each successive bill was peeled away and saliva formed around the corners of her mouth. John could swear the Mother Superior was drooling at the mouth at the sight of an amount of money John was sure she had never witnessed in her life. Imelda’s eyes told him she was hooked and John knew he had won the first battle.

“Tell Imelda there is plenty more where this came from if an invitation is extended to me to become a patron of this orphanage. And tell her I am a true believer.”

John had purposely left completely ambiguous exactly “what” he was a “true believer” in as he waited for Kat to translate and negotiate with the Mother Superior. As John had suspected Benjamin Franklin secured another victory that day and he was most graciously invited to visit the orphanage the following day and to meet the children. That had been the beginning of John’s relationship with True Light. This first visit would change John’s life in ways he could never imagine.

On that first trip John had been invited into the orphanage and had met many of the devoted nuns and all the three hundred or so children who found his visit so exciting. Any visitors at all were highly unusual and the wide-eyed waifs treated John, being both a male and a foreigner, akin to an alien from outer space. John learned the tragic stories behind faces of many of these lost children and he met little Rosalie Santos with the cleft palate. Rosalie was a delightful little six-year-old whom John was determined would be operated on to improve her appearance if it was the last thing he did on this earth.

It turns out that Rosalie was the illegitimate child of Governor Jose Laurel, the governor of the island. Apparently the Governor had seduced one of his many sixteen-year-old housekeepers and little Rosalie was the result. True Light presently had twelve young girls of varying ages whom the governor had fathered with various housekeepers and daughters of friends. It seems the rather prolific governor would help his illegitimate male children and have them schooled, but all the little girls were to be abandoned.

John’s substantial donation made at the conclusion of that first visit to True Light solidified his relationship with the Mother Superior and he made successive visits and donations at her invitation. On these later trips John got to know many of the nuns who taught the children and John became especially fond of April Quezon who had been an orphan herself and now taught the younger girls English. April was only nineteen-years-old and was a lovely sweet girl with a beautiful smile and long, lustrous shiny black hair. April was as innocent as a young lady could be having been cloistered in the orphanage for her whole life, but she was curious and lively and much more outgoing than most of the other nuns who would jump out of their skin and scurry away if John so much as looked in their direction.

John arranged to ship April paper, pencils, a new white board with markers and a range of books for her English classes. On his next visit John could see April beaming at him with a starry eyed look of idol worship and he couldn’t help blushing. Under April’s long draped pure white habit John suspected she had a smoking hot tight little Asian body. John tried his best to banish those kind of impure thoughts about April and to not to let his mind wander in that dangerous direction. John knew if the Mother Superior ever caught him fooling around with any of her nuns he’d be persona non-grata forever and ostracized by everyone at True Light notwithstanding his close relationship with Benjamin Franklin.

On each visit to Negros Island Kat would act as John’s guide and they got to know each other better and better on each trip. As they got closer and Kat relaxed they began to joke with each other as they took the long drives to Santa Catalina and True Light and even Kat’s driving improved. John suspected Kat was still a virgin, but it became their mutual joke that John referred to her teasingly as “Miss Too Hot to Handle”. Kat was damned sexy, but having John refer to her like this always made Kat’s cheeks go crimson. Kat refused to admit that she was either “pretty” or “sexy”, but when they would take a break at the beach and Kat put on her multi-colored striped bikini there was no denying her beautiful curves and her fetching firm ass. John often got an erection at the beach as his eyes took in Kat’s sexy body. John would need to guiltily wade into the water to hide in the waves so that Kat would not realize how his deviant mind often thought of her in extremely impure ways. John would wait until the cool water had deflated the evidence of his lust before emerging once again.

John would have loved to attempt to seduce Kat, but she was an intensely proud and self-reliant young woman. Kat refused any attempts by John to give her gifts or little indulgences no matter how Spartan her real life might be. When Kat’s computer broke down John offered to buy her a new one. Kat went apoplectic in rage as she admonished him for even making the offer. If any computer were to be purchased it would be done with money earned by Kat herself. John knew the fact that he was older and quite wealthy would mar any approach he might try to make, so he kept the relationship light and flirty and professional. Kat was his driver and his translator; she also just happened to be young, sexy and entirely desirable. Unfortunately John suspected his hard long cock would never have a chance to deflower this young beauty.

Since John loved diving, the ocean and just riding the waves he finally purchased his own Banka boat, built for him on spec in Cebu, which he left in Santa Catalina at the pier. John named the boat the “Nelson” after Lord Nelson, one of his childhood heroes. John had spent a little more than a normal Filipino person would on its construction and he made the boat a bit larger and installed a more powerful Nissan engine and a nicer set of seat cushions.

Now here he was holding one of the boat’s cables and standing on its outrigger, riding the rolling white crested waves and enjoying the beautiful view of the sea. John’s jaw was still as painful as ever and he gave it a rub. John had tripped on the ferry over and smashed his jaw against a steel doorway. He could swear one of his teeth was loose. It was a good thing a dentist was coming.

For this trip to True Light John had arranged—finally—through contacting an investment banker friend in Manila, to have a recent medical school and dentistry school graduate visit True Light. The two medical professionals would be coming for ten days to provide the orphans some sorely needed medical attention. Kat was a nurse and had done her best to provide some care and education to the young ladies, but John wanted a real doctor to look at some of the more serious matters and a dentist to check all their teeth.

Most of the young ladies had never seen a dentist in their entire life and what passed for a “doctor” in Santa Catalina was not someone John had much confidence in. It seems male graduates from medicine and dentistry are too proud (or perhaps too lazy) to take the long journey to an out of the way orphanage in Negros to treat children for charity. As a consequence both the newly graduated doctor (Christy) and the dentist (Naomi) were young women just out of university.

John was enjoying the sea breeze and the setting sun, but it was cooling and he directed his captain to head the boat back home. Pulling up to the pier John sprang—like a much younger John he could recall—from the prow onto the pier. As he ambled down the pier in his light blue trunks and tattered white Che Guevara embossed t-shirt Kat pulled up in the Jeep to pick him up. They headed back to the beach house John had rented for flumpence to have dinner. The next day the doctor and dentist would arrive and the real work would begin. John’s housekeeper cooked up some delicious chicken adobo and vegetables and John poured Kat and himself a glass of cheap New Zealand Chardonnay. John was not generally favorably disposed towards cheap wine, but in the Philippine outback he needed to make exceptions for circumstances beyond his control.

John’s beach house was situated on a long stretch of isolated white sand and the incessant murmur of the softly lapping ocean was the music that put him to sleep every night during his visits. John never felt as alive as when, late at night, he sat on his deck and he looked out over the endless obsidian-black ocean. Under the partial moon’s faint glow John felt and smelled the cooling sea breeze and listened to the waves licking at the countless granules of sand. The ocean, the source of all life, was serenading him with its eternal cadence of swishes and splashes.

The next morning John’s nerves got the better of him and he rose early as he waited anxiously for Naomi and Christy to arrive. They wouldn’t get there for a few hours, but John knew all the children were also on pins and needles to meet these important visitors. The very thought of meeting a real doctor and a real dentist was far beyond the imaginations of most of these delicate waifs. John headed up to True Light to check the arrangements. His favorite young nun, April, greeted John at the orphanage bringing a smile to his face. April’s beautiful youthful face of innocence and happiness was shining brighter than the sun as she took John on a tour of the preparations for the arrival of the medical professionals.

As they walked towards the spare classroom that had been set up to be a “clinic” of sorts John couldn’t help noticing that April seemed to be walking very close to him, their arms sometimes brushing. John glanced to his side and April was beaming the way women do when they have that internal glow caused by? John wondered if April could possibly have a crush on him? Before he could think about this further they arrived at the room and John checked to see that the partitions were in place to provide privacy for examinations, lots of towels and supplies had been delivered and set out and chairs for the waiting children were set up.

Later in the day, just before suppers time the large gaudy Jeepney that transported people along the coastal road arrived carrying Naomi (the dentist) and Christy (the doctor). As they stepped down from their long ride John was there to greet them. Not that smart girls are unattractive, but the sight of these two young beauties set John back a bit. John had been expecting more of the “book worm” type of girl and these two attractive young women certainly did not look very book-wormyish if you know what I mean. Naomi was the shorter one—typical for a Filipino girl—and was probably about five-foot, but cute as a button with a smiling roundish face and perky white smile. Christy was taller—perhaps five foot five or so—and definitely the sexier “femme fatale” one of the pair.

Naomi was wearing tight white shorts, sandals and a tight black t-shirt showing her nice firm young breasts. Naomi’s most remarkable feature, however, was her mischievous smile and her sparkling vivacious eyes. Christy had on a striking pale orange cotton summer sundress accentuated with a wide black leather belt cinching it in to highlight her slim and slender waistline and sexy hips. John couldn’t help it (forgive him since he’s a man) but his eyes wandered to Naomi’s white shorts and her firm rear end before sliding over to gaze at Christy’s toned sexy legs. John’s eyes moved higher up Christy’s body taking in her flared hips, her trim waist and higher still her firm young protruding breasts. Suddenly John realized Christy’s eyes were locked on his and she was aware of exactly what he was looking at and what he was thinking. John’s cheeks burned with embarrassment, but Christy had a devilish look of charming challenge in her eyes and seemed to be enjoying John’s lurid male scrutiny. Christy held out her hand.

“You must be John. Hi. I’m Christy and this is Naomi.”

Christy turned and gestured to the other woman and John shook Naomi’s hand. He noted both young ladies had a firm handshake and looked him straight in the eye. These two were certainly no wilting daisy types. Introductions done John told them the plan for the first day. Dinner at his beach house and then they could either sleep at True Light where Imelda had arranged for the nuns to accommodate them. Spartan the accommodations it might be, he told them, but safe and clean. Alternatively John said they were welcome to stay in the large spare room at his guesthouse, which had two beds in it. Christy and Naomi were both grinning and giggling when John mentioned the orphanage. John looked back at them perplexed. Naomi’s face softened and she spoke.

“John neither Christy nor I would qualify to be nuns. That day has long passed.”

Naomi paused a long dramatic pause letting her words sink in.

“If you know what I mean.”

Naomi spoke this last line with a conspiratorial naughtiness that made abundantly clear what she meant and both girls tittered girlishly. Naomi leaned in close and whispered in John’s ear.

“I could probably survive at the nunnery for a few days but Strawberry over there would go crazy. She doesn’t even qualify for the title of ‘good girl’ let alone nun!”

Naomi’s face contorted into laughter before she descended into infectious giggles that Christy joined in on. Naomi had said what she said jokingly, but John suspected it was only half-jokingly. John smiled and joined in on their light laughter and it was agreed the young ladies would bunk out at his place in the large spare room. John then introduced them both to Kat and throwing their bags into the jeep they headed off for his beach house. The young ladies settled in quickly and the first three or four days were almost a blur of activity for John.

Both Naomi and Christy were full of amazing energy and would arise at the crack of dawn, get the clinic fully operational at True Light by the first bell at eight and were tireless workers. Naomi early each day went class-to-class teaching dental hygiene, demonstrating brushing technique and giving away the free toothbrushes and toothpaste donated by John’s company. She would then spend the afternoons examining each child’s mouth individually for cavities and if necessary schedule procedures for the evening for doing fillings. Christy for her part visited classes to talk about diet, the importance of exercise and (to the delight of the Mother Superior) to talk about the dangers of abusing alcohol and smoking. Christy would spend the afternoons and evenings seeing individual girls with health issues and giving out medicine and advice.

The mother superior had forbidden the discussion of birth control during the clinics. Christy argued with John and refused to provide care if she could not discuss the use of condoms with the girls. John was worried this would get them all thrown out of True Light. Sure enough after the second day John’s favorite nun April was sent to “talk” to John. The matter of Christy’s aberrant behavior was raised. To John’s surprise they were not thrown out and the nature of the rebuke was rather startling. April looked at John and was clearly embarrassed by the mission she had been sent on. Nuns were not used to talking about “sex” and the topic clearly made young April entirely uncomfortable. Haltingly she began,

“Um, ah, John?”

“Yes April, what is it?”

“Well the Mother Superior understands that the young doctor….”

John could see where this was going and braced himself for the worst.

“Yes April? The young doctor….”

“Well apparently she is talking about birth control with the girls.”

April blushed a deep shade of red as the words “birth control” escaped her lips. John explained to the bashful April the predicament he was in and Christy’s refusal to help with free medical care unless she could talk about birth control with the young women. April listened to John attentively, the red slowly seeping from her cheeks, before responding.

“Yes, well the Mother Superior just wants you to tell her to stop wasting her breath. It’s really not necessary.”

John looked lost and confused? Not necessary? What did April mean?

“What do you mean by ‘not necessary’? Do you want her to stop?”

April smiled.

“Well it’s just that…..” April paused.

“Well the Mother Superior told me to tell you. Our girls are little angels. They are sent here by God to be taken care of by the Mother Superior. Our girls would never do anything like THAT. Our order is the order of ‘total conviction’ and our conviction and our devotion is only to our lord.”

April had a look of total triumph on her face. Game, set and match her face seemed to say.

“So you see, the doctor doesn’t really need to bring it up does she? I mean the girls just would never…..”

John wanted to point out to April that the over three hundred abandoned girls here in the orphanage were evidence enough that the discussion of condoms was entirely necessary, but he didn’t want to push his luck. John smiled and agreed that he’d relay the message to the young doctor who clearly didn’t grasp the strong moral fiber and “conviction” of the young girls of True Light.

After their long days Kat would drive them home to the beach house, they’d fuel up with some dinner prepared by the housekeeper and pretty much they’d be so exhausted they’d go right to bed. After the third day the work began to slow and there was more time to chat and get to know each other. The next day was Sunday and there would be a mandatory day of rest. That evening they ended the clinic earlier than usual and had a nice dinner overlooking the beach. John opened a bottle of wine and set up his iPod with some music to lighten the mood. Kat had to go back to visit her family so she had left in the afternoon and it was just Naomi, Christy and John for dinner. The housekeeper left and they were on their own.

John quickly learned that Naomi and Christy had known each other since high school and that is how they had jointly agreed to this charity project. John quizzed them about their pasts and then he asked Naomi.

“When we first met you called Christy ‘Strawberry’?”

The two girls looked at each other and burst out laughing. They explained to him that in high school they were part of a “gang” of sixteen-year-old girls with over-active imaginations and just as over-active libidos. As part of their fun in the group they all took nicknames. Christy was called “Strawberry” because she was the sweetest and all the boys chased her and wanted to eat her up. Christy told John that Naomi was called “Saturday Night” because no matter which boy chased her she still studied all the time, even on Saturday night.

The conversation was now very relaxed, the wine having had its effect and John couldn’t help it but his eyes started to linger over the two sexy young women’s bodies. John hadn’t had sex in several months and to be alone with these two sexy young ladies was certainly a test of his will power. Naomi asked John some question about his business and why he traveled so much. The question disrupted John’s ruminations on the sexual potential of the two young ladies and brought him back to reality. John willed his cock to stop filling with blood and he tried to look away from Naomi’s tight top. John answered Naomi’s question about his preferences between London and Paris and tried again to stop his eyes straying to Naomi’s short skirt.

John’s iPod was playing a shuffle of songs and one of those songs came on that could trigger John’s mix of malaise and melancholy. John was at that point in life where reflection, pondering the past and pondering the future was fraught with the danger of emotional undertows that could suck him down into directionless depression. Always in life there is a current beneath the surface. We hope the current is carrying us towards the shore, towards salvation, towards redemption; sometimes we lose faith and we are consumed by doubt and we can drown in despair. Luckily Naomi noted the grey cloud shading John’s mood and she cracked a silly joke and pulled him back to the present. Women had that ability, the ability to offer renewal and hope.

There was a small pile of light cotton cords on one of the lounge chairs next to John. Christy moved to the chair and picked up the cords and looked at John with her eyes full of devilish playful charm.

“John why do you sit so far away from us? Are you afraid of two little Filipino girls?”

Before John could come up with a satisfactory riposte Christy continued.

“Hey what are all these cords for anyways? Where should I put them?”

John told Christy to just put the cords on the side table and explained that the forecast indicated a typhoon may be coming in two or three days and his housekeeper used the cords to tie-down the deck furniture and tables so they didn’t get blown around or washed away by surging waves. John felt a throbbing pain and rubbed his jaw, which was still sore from where he had banged it on the ferry. Naomi saw John rub his jaw and asked him what was wrong. John’s answer about how he had bashed his jaw against a steel doorway precipitated an “examination” by Naomi to see if his teeth were okay. John tried to resist given the late hour and he suggested she could take a look tomorrow. Naomi as any good dentist should insisted on taking an immediate look.

“Hey John, you don’t trust me? I’m a dentist now relax!”

And before John knew it he was laying prone on the sofa, his head tilted back over one of the sofa arms and Naomi had her firm young breast pushed in his face while she straddled him and peered down into his mouth with the assistance of a bright LED light she had produced from her bag. Seeing something that concerned her Naomi washed her hands and then prodded and pulled at John’s teeth and jaw looking this way and that way. John certainly couldn’t deny that he quite enjoyed having the young dentist lean over him with her firm small breast only an inch or so from his face and her perfume wafting into his nose. John’s mouth began to water at the thought of getting that breast in his mouth and spending some quality time sucking on it and teasing it with his tongue until the nipple was as hard as a nib of solid rubber.

“Well it looks okay.” Naomi said.

“No teeth loose that I can see. You have quite a bruise on your jaw though. You had better take something for the pain. Do you have some Tylenol or shall I get you some from my bag?”

“No I’ve got some in the bathroom.” John replied.

John ambled off to his bathroom to look for some Tylenol. As he entered the bathroom the power in the house went off. John could hear the two young ladies screech in excitement on the front deck and he grinned. “Brown-outs” were a common occurrence on Negros where there were often power shortages. John would turn on his gas-powered generator if the lights did not come back on in a few minutes. Meanwhile he rummaged around in the dark feeling in his toiletry bag for the round plastic cylinder of the Tylenol bottle. Finding the bottle and popping the cap John giggled out two pills into the palm of his hand. John felt around for the bottle of water beside the sink (drinking tap water would be a serious mistake) and gulped the pills down. As John walked back to the living room towards the deck the lights flickered weakly a few times before finally coming back on.

John’s easy banter with the young women continued and the three of them were chatting and sipping wine as the ocean waves lapped softly at the shore and a partial moon hung low in the black sky reflecting in a luminous line across the black water. As the girls drank more wine they seemed to become more and more flirtatious and asked John increasingly provocative questions. Somehow the conversation got around to what kind of women John liked. Both girls teased John as he attempted to answer, turning a bit red in the process. No matter what John said the girls would twist it to make it sound like he was a sexual deviant and then giggle and laugh at his obvious discomfort. Christy was clearly the more outgoing one, but Naomi seemed to enjoy prodding Christy on to ever-higher levels of outlandishness as they sought to test John’s limits.

After over an hour or so of this relaxing banter John could feel himself getting hot and flushed which was funny because there was a nice evening breeze coming in off the ocean. John’s eyes kept gazing at the tight young bodies of these two Filipino beauties, both wearing cute short mini skirts, their sexy legs on full display. Naomi had on a tight pink Lycra tank-top and Christy a button up white sleeveless cotton top tied just under her bust leaving her toned midriff bare. Normally these sexy outfits alone would not be enough to make John hard, but for some reason he was hard?

John was not just hard, but unusually hard and no matter what the girls talked about or how distracted he got, his cock stayed incredibly hard. Beneath the erection John could also feel he needed to pee and get rid of some of the excess wine. John excused himself to go to the washroom. Christy made some rude joke about coming along to help John hold his penis straight so he didn’t pee on the floor. John glared at her with faux irritation but Christy continued with a further comment about remembering to put the seat down. The two girls giggled with peels of laughter, but their voices faded as John moved further away into the bathroom.

With the power now back on John flicked on the light and entered the bathroom. The reason John felt flushed and hot was pretty evident with the light shining. The bottle of “Tylenol” John had opened in the darkness was, in fact, a similar shaped bottle he used to hold Angie’s gift to him—20 mg tablets of Cialis. John had popped two twenty-milligram pills of Cialis instead of Tylenol. “Shit!” John thought to himself as he realized he faced several hours of a steel hard erection.

Angie was not a pharmacist in case you were wondering. Rather she is the young UBS analyst John occasionally bedded in Hong Kong. When Angie was truly horny she often called upon John’s older and highly talented large cock for some frolicsome fun to relieve the pressures of her high-powered job. Angie was a tigress in bed and she liked John to take Cialis when they had one of their long sessions since his cock stayed harder much longer and he had a lot more control allowing Angie to have several orgasms from riding his cock. Normally with twenty-milligrams John would be really damn hard for quite a while so he had no idea what forty-milligrams was going to do. The funny thing was that the throbbing in his jaw was also gone?

John sat on the toilet seat and tried to push his upright cock downwards to point it into the toilet. Girls have no idea how hard this little maneuver is. John’s cock was really hard and upright and he needed to lean his torso far forward and push down hard at the very base of his cock to even get his cockhead below the toilet seat. John tried to think of corporate deals, scuba decompression calculations and a number of other things to deflate his cock so he could pee, but all without success. Finally he managed to get it soft enough to point it down enough to let his pee stream out without having it shoot all over the bathroom floor or the toilet seat.

John returned to the deck, sat down and picked up his wine glass, still feeling his hard-on growing worse as he gazed at the pair of sexy mini skirts and tanned bare legs before him. The girls told John they wanted to play a game. What kind of game John asked? They explained that each of them in turn would need to tell something embarrassing about themselves until someone refused. If a person refused, or what the person disclosed was not deemed truly embarrassing by the other two players, then they could do whatever they wanted to the person. John normally avoided drinking games and situations like this, but he thought how bad can it be playing such a game with two innocent young Filipino girls? Why not he thought?

“Okay, who starts?” John said.

“I’ll go first.” Replied Naomi.

John and Christy turned to look at Naomi.

“I’m a member of an erotic story website called Lush and I write sexy stories about spanking during sex and being tied-up.”

Christy burst into peels of laughter and giggling before saying,

“Oh my god, ‘Miss Goody-two-shoes’ is on a porno website. Holy shit Naomi. That is embarrassing!”

They could both see Naomi’s face turning slightly pink as she began to blush at the impact of her revelation. Christy turned to John as if to say, “You or me buddy”? Christy could sense John’s hesitation to offer any revelation. The palms of John’s hands were sweating. Was he in over his head here with these two young girls?

“Okay John I can tell you’re a bit chicken. I’ll go next.”

Christy looked at the two of them with a grin that suggested “you two are so burned, you’ve lost and you don’t even know it.” Christy’s grin widened even further and her eyes lit up with devilish charm.

“When I was sixteen I snuck into the dorm of my boyfriend’s all boys private school.”

Naomi and John waited expectantly.

“I got into bed with my boyfriend and let him fuck me.”

Naomi looked at her friend Christy with a big frown across her face.

“Christy that’s nothing! I mean so what, everyone knows you love sex.”

Christy looked back at her with a wide grin.

“I’m not finished my confession yet baby girl. I made so much noise my boyfriend’s roommate woke up. He said if I didn’t let him fuck me as well he’d call the house monitor and my boyfriend might get expelled from the top private school in Manila. Well I was so aroused I couldn’t stop so I nodded.”


Naomi prodded Christy for more details having become much more interested in her friend’s story now that it involved two guys.

“Well Hector’s roommate grabbed me by the hips while I was riding Hector’s cock and he wet my ass with his saliva. His roommate saw my K-Y jelly on the table and he grabbed it and he used the jelly. I mean….well…..the guy took me with his huge cock while I was riding Hector. I mean he took my virginity.”

Christy paused. John and Naomi looked at her confused. Christy grinned back knowing they were confused. She giggled.

“I mean my ass virginity guys. The roommate fucked me in the ass with his big penis while my boyfriend Hector fucked my pussy. The guy took my ass virginity.”

Well with that revelation John knew he was in deep trouble. The way the game was going John knew he was in deeper than he had ever expected. When the game had been described John had thought, “How embarrassing can it get with two naive young Filipino girls?” John had expected the water to get to his ankles, perhaps up to his knees. The water was now well over his waist, lapping at his chin and John was preparing to drown. The wheels in John’s head were churning to come up with some embarrassing incident to match Christy’s disclosure of being fucked in the bum while riding her boyfriend’s cock in an exclusive private boys school dorm. Forget about topping that, he would have a hard time even getting close.

The two girls turned to look at John with sexy and expectant expressions on their faces waiting for him to open his mouth. John’s mind swirled and he was trying to calculate what to say. John’s face turned even redder and his heart began to race pounding against his chest. Partly his heart was racing from the excessive dose of Cialis and partly from his acute nervousness from the game. The girl’s eyes were still looking at him waiting expectantly.

“More wine girls?”

John tried a delaying tactic in the hope his brain would have one of those “light bulb” moments. They both frowned at John’s feeble attempt to deflect them.


Christy was looking at him sternly with a new steeliness in her eyes and firmness in the tone of her voice.

“John do you have something to say?”

John’s mind swirled and his mind’s wheels spun with frustrating futility. What could he say? What was embarrassing, but something he was actually willing to disclose to these two young girls? Ah ha! His eureka moment came and none too soon. The pills! He’d tell them about taking the Cialis. That was pretty stupid and the on-going hard-on must merit a consideration of “quite embarrassing”. In his excitement at coming up with a solution John just blurted it out without any further consideration of the possible consequences that might flow from disclosure.

“Ladies, during the brown-out I made a colossal error!”

John smiled triumphantly at the two girls looking at him expectantly. The girl’s faces seemed to say, “Yes John…go on?”


John continued.

“Instead of taking two Tylenol just now, I grabbed the wrong bottle in the dark and I took two Cialis instead.”

Christy’s face broke into a grin and she turned to look at Naomi. A smile broadened across Naomi’s face as well. Their mutual grins had a devilish quality that made John wonder just slightly if he was perhaps in this game over his depth. John felt like a poker player who had entered a “friendly”, had put a bunch of money down and then suddenly realized that the cute innocent looking girl holding the cards opposite is really a professional card shark. Christy reached over and grabbed Naomi by the hand.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking Naomi?”

Naomi nodded and grinned even more mischievously than her best friend. As if they were thinking via a single brain the two girls in unison chanted,


Christy and Naomi leapt up together and pounced on John like kittens playing with catnip. Naomi quickly grabbed one arm and Christy his other arm. What ensued over the next three hours or so will go down as perhaps one of the most playful and unrestrained sessions of wild sex in John’s entire life. Suddenly John had two firm young Asian women writhing on top of him. John was so shocked and surprised that he easily fell over onto the floor and it seemed like arms and legs and hips and tits were everywhere. Before he knew what had happened John was flat on his back on the floor.

“Pinned!! We pinned him!!”

The two young girls laughed with wild abandon looking down at John pinned on the floor beneath them. Christy was straddling John’s right arm with her hips and had one arm holding his hand down. Christy’s other arm was held high, her fist pumped in the air in mock triumph. Naomi was sitting on John’s other arm with both her hands pushing down on his chest forcing him down on the floor to be “pinned”. John was laughing so hard he could not resist these silly playful kittens.

“Okay, okay, I’ll do you whatever you wild vixens want. You two win.”

John said between his chuckles. Christy looked down at him.


John was still laughing as he nodded.

The two girls looked at each other with conspiratorial grins and again in unison proclaimed.

“Off to the bedroom!! Medical research and you are our subject!!”

Giggling the two girls pulled John into his master bedroom. Before leaving the deck Christy picked up some of the strands of rope. They pulled John onto the large king size bed and again jumped on top of him.

“In medicine John, in order to properly evaluate a subject, you need to immobilize him.”

Naomi said with a wicked grin, her eyes sparkling with fire. With that the two girls burst into further infectious giggles and each one grabbed a strand of cotton cord and began tightly tying John’s wrists and then tying each rope strand tightly to the wooden headboard. John’s eyes went wide and his chuckles became tinged with nervousness.

“Hey, what are you girls…..”

Christy looked at John with a huge grin on her face.

“Look John, Naomi and I have always wondered about what Viagra or Cialis could do for a man’s cock. Now we plan to find out.”

Christy looked at Naomi and they both laughed. Christy then looked back at John.

“So are you going to be our medical research subject or not? Think you can handle two little Filipino girls or are you a scaredy cat?”

John looked at the two of them.

“What’s the end-point of this ‘experiment’?” He asked chuckling.

Christy explained to John that most of the young guys they had been with had only been able to last a few minutes before exploding and shriveling. Needless to say, this left a girl rather unsatisfied and yearning for “more” they explained. The point of the experiment would be to see if John could last long enough to give each of them two orgasms before he himself came? They would record how many orgasms he could provide. If John agreed they would repeat the experiment with one Cialis pill and then a further time without any Cialis as the “control” on the experiment and then compare results.

John was laughing as he nodded in agreement. With that the fun began and the two girls quickly unbuttoned John’s shirt and undid his belt, pulling off his pants. John’s huge medically induced hard-on now bulged up in his white cotton briefs. John could see Naomi’s eyes go wide as she took in the size of his bulge. Christy ran her small slender hand over the top of the white cotton, rubbing the bulge lightly and whistled in appreciation.

“Wow John, big package.”

Christy turned to look at her friend.

“This research should be fun Naomi! Who gets the first turn?”

Naomi giggled gesturing for her best friend to go first. Christy began to slowly unbutton her blouse while Naomi simultaneously grabbed her tight top and pulled it upwards wiggling it over her head. John’s eyes widened as he saw first Naomi’s firm round globes appear clad in a white lace push-up bra and then Christy’s firm pert B tits in a pink bra were teasing him. Christy stood and reached back to unzip her mini skirt, letting it fall to the floor in a rumpled pile. Christy’s tiny lace pink panties, flat stomach and rounded ass caused John’s cock to jump in his white cotton briefs. Naomi giggled at the sight of the movement in John’s briefs and she leaned down and kissed John on the lips.

“Does someone want to come out to play?”

Naomi asked her face only inches from John’s, her smile as wide as could be and her perfume now wafting into John’s nose, her hair tickling his neck. Naomi blocked John’s view, but he felt hands (they must be Christy’s he thought) pull on his briefs and his huge thick cock bounced free from its white cotton prison. John could feel Christy’s soft hands rubbing his cock and it got super hard, even harder than before if that was possible.

Naomi sat up and reached back unzipping her own mini skirt. Christy discarded her cute panties and then swung her hip over and straddled John’s hips. Christy began rubbing the wet outer lips of her tight young pussy on top of John’s hard cock, getting it glistening wet with slick pussy juice. Naomi feeling left out grabbed a firm hold on a handful of John’s hair and looking him in the eye said.

“So can you walk and chew gum at the same time?”

John looked back somewhat perplexed and confused. Quite frankly all his senses were being overwhelmed by what was happening.


Naomi giggled and clarified her question.

“Can you operate your tongue while Christy is riding you?”

John nodded as a grin expanded across his face. Naomi swung herself around facing her best friend, her sweet young pussy now poised only a few inches above John’s face. Ever so slowly Naomi gently lowered herself until her moist pussy was mere millimeters from John’s expectant and watering mouth. John could now smell Naomi’s rich female scent. John felt Christy pick up his cock and position it at her tight pussy entrance. In response John lifted up his head and ran his tongue along Naomi’s delicate puffy pink outer lips.

John heard Naomi let out a deep sigh in response to the gentle probing of his tongue. Naomi lowered herself harder onto his face, John’s tongue now able to probe deeper into her tight wet pussy. John licked and probed and tasted Naomi’s sweet juices as he sought to locate her pleasure button. At the same time John felt Christy lowering herself onto his rock hard eight-inch cock. Slowly he felt Christy enveloping his hard manhood inch by inch into her tight young pussy as she rocked her hips slowly back and forth. The sex sounds the three of them were now making were a symphony of “oohs” and “ahs” and grunts and groans that would give Beethoven’s 9th a run for its money. The two girls began to build a joint counter-rhythm with their hip thrusts, one riding John’s cock, the other riding his tongue. When Christy was thrusting down and fully impaled on John’s hard cock, Naomi would be lifting her hips and her pussy away from John’s tongue. When Christy’s hips pulled back lifting off John’s cock, Naomi would thrust down and impale herself oh his tongue. As the girl’s pleasure built their mutual counter thrusts increased in speed.

Tied to the bed by the cotton cords there was little John could do to assist these young girls in reaching their orgasms except try to respond in rhythm as best he could to their thrusts. John let his gaze wander up and he realized Christy’s hands were behind Naomi’s head. John was amazed at what he saw. Could they really be? John realized the two girls were kissing and making out above him as their hips and pussies ground against his body. John’s arms desperately pulled at the ropes now digging into his wrists. More than anything John wanted to free his hands so he could reach up and feel Naomi’s firm rounded breasts and grab her smooth flawless ass. Helpless, John felt the ropes holding his wrists tightly and no matter how much he tugged or twisted they would not loosen, but just dug deeper into his skin.

The female sounds emanating from the two girls got louder and louder and the cadence of their thrusts became frenzied. Suddenly John felt Christy’s pussy contracting is spasms wildly on his cock and she cried out in a desperate release, her body jerking and going rigid above him. With Christy’s release Naomi’s hip movements on his face became frantic and John lapped with his now tired tongue as fast as he could, flicking her clitoris with repeated light and hard flicks. Suddenly Naomi cried out and her pussy pushed down hard on his mouth seeping juices across his face. John did his best to keep his tongue flicking on Naomi’s clit as she writhed above him in total ecstasy. Naomi’s cries were like a cat in heat as her body shuddered and shook and waves of pleasure crashed over her.

The wild sex continued on as the girls switched positions. When John was on this big dose of Cialis he seemed to have amazing control and even being with two girls, he was able to prevent himself from cumming too early. John’s cock remained hard as a rock as the girls had their way with him. After Naomi had experienced three huge orgasms, each one bigger than the last, and Christy two huge explosions of ecstasy the girls finally gave in to John’s pleas to release his rope ties. The two now very happy young girls giggled as they untied John’s wrists now rubbed red and raw from pulling and twisting against the cords.

Finally free of restraint John flung Christy onto the bed and buried his head between her thighs and teased her now throbbing and soaking pussy with delicate lashes from his tongue and teasing flicks from his fingers. John used some of her slick juices and playfully probed around Christy’s bum to see how receptive she might be, but Christy tensed right up so John pulled his finger back. Christy’s cute bum would have to wait for another time, but John attacked her clit with every trick his tongue and finger had ever learned.

John took Christy to the edge of orgasm again and again while Naomi, totally exhausted from three massive orgasms, lay slumped against the pillow watching her friend being teasingly tortured by this experienced older man with his huge hard cock. Finally, sensing Christy was close again, John pulled her up onto her knees and pushed her ass in the air so he could take her from behind. Pushing his big thick cock up to her soaking pussy lips, John grabbed Christy’s feminine hips and thrust in hard. Christy let out a huge cry of surprise mixed with pleasure mixed with shock as she felt how huge and deep John’s penetration felt entering her from this doggie style position. John used his hands to grip her hips and kept pounding into Christy until he felt her cry out in pleasure, her body shaking, as she exploded into her third massive orgasm. John was just barely able to hold on and keep from cumming himself.

Somewhat exhausted from his vigorous thrusting John flopped onto his back on the bed, his mouth panting as he gasped for air. John’s slick glistening hard cock, covered in Christy’s pussy juices, arched in a curve off his pelvis, pointing skyward as John lay there recovering his normal breathing. The two young women couldn’t help but take notice of his large protruding manhood. Naomi giggled at the sight of John’s big thick cock and couldn’t resist: Naomi slid over and mounted John’s hardness and began to ride him, her hips shifting in a slow methodical cadence. Recovering from her own massive orgasm Christy watched as her best friend Naomi mount John’s cock. Inspired by her friend Christy pulled herself up and lifted a knee over John’s face and mounted his face, slowly lowering her now overly sensitive pussy onto John’s waiting tongue for a final ride of pleasure.

The two beautiful young Filipino women faced each other, their eyes ablaze with fulfilled lust. They each teasingly played with the others nipples using light little pinches and they kissed as only girlfriends can kiss. John moaned below them, his tongue lashing Christy’s pussy, his hard thick cock making Naomi’s needs rise ever further.

The two girls each built a rhythm with their hips, one on John’s cock, one on his tongue. The two girls were in orgasmic afterglow so their pleasure built more slowly and more evenly now than before. John now had free hands and he held onto Christy’s hips as she rode his face. John did his best to keep his now highly excited cock from exploding too soon. John could feel his balls pulling up; he could feel the pressure in his balls and cock building and he knew the moment was close.

With Christy’s soft pussy lips covering his mouth John couldn’t say anything and there was nothing he could do to warn Naomi of the impending explosion. John heard the moans of the two girls rising and this caused his own cock to build and the tingles were burning from his cock all the way to his brain. The two sets of female hips were moving more rapidly now as their needs, moving toward a final detonation of their own, were becoming more insistent and their leisure like cadence became more urgent. There was nothing John could do as he neared his own penultimate moment. John felt the head of his cock burning, he felt his balls tighten even further, and then his mouth gaped open and let out a deep groan. John’s fingers curled in ecstasy digging into Christy’s skin

John did his best to keep his tongue flicking rapidly on Christy’s clit, but suddenly he thrust his hips up, his cock driving deep into Naomi’s young pussy. John’s orgasm exploded and his body arched off the bed. At the same time both young women cried out wildly like domestic pussycats being taken forcibly by a big wild tomcat. Their hips thrashed against John in a frenetic frenzy of wriggling and thrusting. The bodies of both women were overcome by a massive burst of orgasmic energy that shook them to the core as they both went over the edge to have a final release. John could feel his hot burning sperm shoot out like a seam of lava searing the walls of his cock. Simultaneous with John’s release Naomi’s silken pussy walls contracted once, twice, three-times, sucking desperately against John’s male hardness in spasms of female instinctive behavior, sucking his sperm into her deeper regions. John had always assumed girls who had these massive vaginal contractions were no doubt Darwinian marvels, better able to reproduce as they could suck a mans sperm upwards and thereby ensure better conception? In any event, it felt incredible on your hard cock when a girl’s pussy went wild like that grabbing onto you like her hand.

The two young ladies were completely sated now and flopped onto the bed lying on their backs gasping for oxygen. John’s cock slowly shrank as the blood flow decreased. Naomi watched his appendage reduce in size and she stroked it gently as it became smaller and smaller.

“Oh my god John that was amazing!”

Naomi giggled and smiled as her eyes took in John’s muscular prone body lying naked on the bed. Naomi looked over at her friend Christy; her young firm orbs sticking up and her flawless tanned body glistening with a light coating of sweat from her vigorous lovemaking. Naomi smiled.

“Christy. Didn’t I tell you charity has its rewards?”

Christy smiled and looked over at her friend and they both burst out in feminine giggles. John was too tired to even chuckle, but he smiled himself thinking that Naomi was so right. “Charity does have its own rewards!”

At that moment they all heard a loud voice calling from outside.

“John, I’m back.”

Kat had returned from her visit home.

To be continued if readers feel it worthy?