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Revenge of the Friendzoned

Revenge is a dish best served with photos.
"What's wrong, Tish?"

"Oh nothing, Chaz. I just got friendzoned by a guy I like, um, used to like. He's number one on my shitlist now."

"I know the feeling."

Charlie's Story

And I do know the feeling. I'd spent almost two years mired in the friend zone of Trisha's roommate. But this isn't about Lisa. I came upon Tish as she walked across the campus of our large midwestern university, and I noticed she was crying and I wanted to cheer her up. So, I put on my best knight-in-shining-armor impersonation and said, "What cad committed this dastardly deed, fair maiden? Say his name and I shall trounce him mightily."

She gave me a hint of a smile.

"Oh, I'm sure you'll find out eventually. You share a bathroom with him."

"Tom?" I had a 50/50 chance of guessing correctly. I only had two suitemates that I shared a bathrooom with. If she meant my roommate, I think she would have said that I share a room with him. Tom is aloof with women. His roommate, Brett, is a player.

"No, not Tom, Brett. But that's it. No more bad boys for me. It's too hard on the self-respect."

"Ugh, that guy is such an asshole. Trust me, you're better off without him."

"I sure found that out."

"Well, don't feel too bad. You know I've been there."

"Yeah, with Lisa. She can be such a bitch. I felt really bad about what she did to you. That trouncing idea sounds really good. I'll help you trounce her if you help me trounce Brett."

"Ooh. A strangers-on-a-train kinda thing. I like that. I mean we're not strangers, and we're not on a train, and we're not planning to kill anybody.... are we?" That finally got a laugh.

"No, not kill. I'll settle for a seriously maimed ego."

"And I'll settle for a seriously maimed reputation. Deal?"

"Deal pardner." She actually offered her hand to shake on this mutual revenge pact and I gladly shook it, and I felt a little pathetic about enjoying that little bit of human contact so much. Then she surprised me by hugging me, and I enjoyed that so much more. "Thanks so much, Chaz. You've really helped me feel better. Have you got time to walk with me? I've got a class in the Humanities building."

"Sure, I'm going right past it."

"Okay, so here's an idea. I know there's a naked picture of Lisa on her cell phone. I think I can find it and send it out. Think you can stain her rep with that?"

"I think I can stain my bed sheets with that!"

"Chaz! Geez! Put thoughts like that out of your head. She's poison for you. I thought maybe we could send it to some dorky guy or something."

"You mean dorkier than me?"

"You're not dorky. What made you say that?"

"Lisa told me that you thought I was dorky. Toward the end, she even told me that you didn't really like me visiting your room."

"That bitch! I never said that. I liked it when you visited, but I think she was jealous when you talked to me. It always seemed to me that she was trying to keep me from getting to know you. I did though. Otherwise I wouldn't have felt bad about the way she led you on and on and on."

"Oh god. It was that obvious?"

"Not to most people. They probably just thought you were kind of dorky." I smiled at her little joke. "I was so glad when you cut the puppet strings and told her to fuck off."

"Thanks, Tish. Now you've made me feel much better. By the way, I like that you call me Chaz. Everybody else calls me Charlie, so calling me something different makes me feel special to you. But now I'm curious. How do you know about this naked photo?"

She blushed a little then. "Um, we took posed photos of each other with each other's phones. That way we can send a well-posed pic to a guy if we trust him. I'm pretty sure that she's sent hers out to at least two guys. Nobody's been that special to me. Yet."

"So there's a naked photo of you on your phone? I'd give my left nut to see that!"

"Chaz! You beast! Stop making fun of me. I know you don't think of me that way."

"Tish, whatever gave you got that idea? I think you're prettier than Lisa. If she hadn't told me that you don't like me, I would have shown you that I'm interested."

"That fucking bitch. She told me that you think of me as an annoying little sister type and that you only like women with bigger boobs."

"No way, Tish. I've always liked being with you. And don't get me wrong. I don't mind them big, but I prefer them to match the ass they're stacked above. Lisa has a pretty face and a sweet ass, but she looks a little top heavy to me. I was willing to overlook her overly big boobs. But you look just right. Perfect ass, perfect proportions, a face that always makes me smile -- even when it's all puffy from crying -- and I've always been drawn to fair skin, green eyes and red hair. If I had met you both at the same time, I wouldn't have looked twice at her. Truth. Maybe she could tell that.

"It seems like she ran a game on both of us, to keep us apart. That would be just like her, put a guy in the friend zone and then get jealous if he looks at another girl."

"It took me almost two years to realize she's just a succubus. I don't hate her, but it would be good if she paid some price for that. Hey! How's this sound? She's been crushing on Darian for like two years, but he's been with Starla since day one."

"So we send it to him?"

"No, we send it to Star, but with an invitation to Darian to give her a call when he's lonely. Make it look like Lisa used her cell number when she thought she was using his."

"Ahahahahaha! perfect! Then Starla will do the rest. That ought to work. I know just what to write for the invitation. How about, 'Darian, when are you gonna ditch that skank ho for some quality time with this?'."

"Hey, you're really good at this. Remind me never to piss you off."

"Thanks, Chaz. I'll take that as a compliment. Now, how are we going to hose Brett?"

"Well, we're going to need to send the message from Lisa's phone to Starla at a time when you couldn't possibly have sent it or had access to her phone. I think I can use Brett's phone to hack into Lisa's phone to send it out. I can write an app for that. But I'll do a sloppy job so it can be traced back to Brett. He's been hoping to get into Lisa's pants lately, so we can mess that up. You might need to help Lisa to find the evidence. It will take some planning and effort, but I don't see any show-stoppers."

"You can do that with a phone?"


"That's kind of scary. Remind me never to piss you off. Can you hack into my phone? Do I need to delete that photo."

"I can hack into most phones, but I wouldn't, Tish. Not yours. I protect my friends, even from me."

"Unless I give you a reason, huh?"

She was smiling playfully now.

"You wouldn't give me a reason. You wouldn't string me along like Lisa did."

"Well, you're already in my friend zone, and I assume I'm in yours. The question now is... will that change, knowing what we know now?"

"I really hope so. When it became pretty clear that Lisa would never be interested in me, I asked her to help me find some other girl. I guess I foolishly thought she cared about whether I was happy. She was totally useless for that. I asked about you and that's when she told me that you weren't at all interested in me."

Her smile turned mischievous. "Well she was wrong. It would be poetic justice for us to hook up while we tear her apart."

"But what about Brett? I mean, yeah he's an asshole, but does he deserve this just for telling you he's not interested in you?"

"Um, it's kind of more than that. He waited to tell me that until after uh...we, uh..."


"Yeah, five-eff."


"You know. Find, feel, finger, fuck, forget."


"The really sad thing is, he punched my v-ticket."

"Your what? Oh! Your vir... Yeah, he definitely deserves it. But, um, I still, uh, I'm still... uh..."

"A virgin? Well that seals the deal, dear boy. This worldly wanton slut can fix that for you."

"Tish! I would never think of you as a slut."

"Well thank you, but here's a hint for you, it's okay to call me one at the right time. I learned from Brett that it gets me hot."

"Okay, my little slut. Mmmph."

It was our first kiss. We were sitting on the steps of the library and I'd never been kissed that way, especially not it public. Oh god, it felt so good. When she broke the kiss, we looked into each others eyes. Hers were the prettiest shade of green that I'd ever seen. We kissed again and hugged and when we broke the kiss, I said, "Sealed with a kiss. Um, what now?"

"Well I have to get to class, and I assume we have to plan this prank. I have to study tonight. Got a quiz tomorrow. But, tomorrow is Friday. She'll be leaving for the weekend but she has to work until about 8. Stop by around 9? I'll text you if the plan has to change."

"Um, don't you need my number?"

"I'll get it from Lisa's... Uh, maybe I better not."

She took my phone, typed in her number and hit send. Hers started to play 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun'. She canceled the call before it went to vmail. "Don't worry I'll get you a better tune. Now we've got each other's number, assuming a guy who can hack a phone can find his dialed numbers list."

"No problem, Trixie."


"Don't like that name? Sounds like a good name for a wanton slut, to me."

"Okay, but only in the bedroom. Adios muchacho."

"Hasta luego, muchacha."

I walked off feeling great. The best thing I had done since meeting Lisa at the beginning of my freshman year was boot her out of my life halfway through my sophomore year. She was used to being rejected after having sex with guys, and she didn't always deserve that. She just didn't know how to pick 'em. But she took advantage of the crush I had on her and when I finally pulled my head out of my ass, she got rejected by a "nice guy" that she was sucking the joy of life out of. I was finally able to have some self-respect and some hope that my status as a virgin was about to end, and with a girl I felt good about.

I didn't get much sleep that night. It occured to me that I didn't really know if our meeting would be for sex or to plan the prank. I didn't know whether to bring condoms or an action plan for harpooning Lisa and Brett. I decide to prepare for both. I picked up condoms at the med center and developed an action plan on paper. Well not actually on paper, in my laptop under the new 'Dirty Deeds' folder. I even wrote the apps.

I saw Tish several times during the day, but our schedules kept conflicting so we couldn't even have lunch or dinner together. But she smiled when she saw me and I floated through the day. I arrived promptly at 9 PM, hoping that Lisa was gone because I hadn't visited their room since the kiss-off and I didn't want her to think that I wanted her back in my life, even though a part of me kinda did, no matter how hopeless that was. I was hopeful that Tish would change that.

Tish let me in and I looked around for changes since the last time I'd visited. Lisa's side of the room still looked like a trash truck took a dump there and her bed was still a pile of who knows what. Tish's side was organized, except where Lisa's stuff encroached at the margins. It's much how I imagine their minds. I felt tense, not knowing what I should do. But I noticed that four big candles were lit and at least one of them was scented. It was a forest smell, like Pine maybe. Tish started turning off the lights and I happily realized that we couldn't very well work on our plan by candlelight. She even blew out one candle. She took my laptop from me and set it on Lisa's desk, on top of a pile of clothing. Then she kissed me, standing up, for the first time. That was different. Our bodies were pressed closer together than when she hugged me the day before. I'm pretty sure she could feel my cock hardening.

"Are you nervous, Chaz? Of course you are. That was a dumb question. I'm nervous too. I was so nervous my first time that I thought I would pee my pants. Listen to me babble away. I'll shut up now."

"Um, I brought condoms."

"That's cool, but since this is your first time, and I started BC before..., well, before that big mistake, and I made him use a condom, I think I can risk letting you go bareback if you want."


"Yeah. Would you like to undress me? Take it slow and gain some experience."

I didn't waste any time answering. I started unbuttoning her shirt. I had the impression she dressed special for the evening, because she wasn't wearing the same clothes she wore during the day. Neither was I. And she seemed freshly showered. So was I. And she smelled wonderful. And I brushed my pits with Axe.

Her bra was red and it matched her panties and she helped me through the awkward parts where she had to step out of her jeans. Meanwhile, she unbuttoned and removed my shirt, unbuckled my belt, unzipped my pants and helped me remove my jeans and socks. Then we were standing in our undies and we kissed again. I knew she could feel my cock against her, that time. I could feel the give of the flesh it was pressed against. Hell, my cockhead was now so sensitive I thought I could feel her pulse through the thin layers of fabric that separated us. I wouldn't be surprised if she could feel mine.

"This is a big step, Chaz. I want you to know that I want you to take it. Please remove my bra and kiss my nips."

Her bra unclipped in the front and my hands shook as I managed to open it. She shrugged it off her shoulders. Her breasts were incredibly beautiful and the way they moved with the shrug was hypnotic. By dropping to my knees, I put them at just the right height.

"Ohhhhhh, that feels wonderful, stud. This is so much better. You can suck them for as long as you want."

I did. I sucked them and squeezed them and rolled them gently in my fingertips and my cock got so hard that I thought it would tear through my briefs. With one of her pale pink nipples still in my mouth, I dropped my hands down to her ass and felt her perfect cheeks.

"You ready to drop my drawers?"

I nodded and slid them down. My heart was hammering like an alien was about to bust out. Backing away, I looked for the first time at an actual live naked pussy. Not one of the bazillion images that I'd seen on screens, but one that was there in the room with me, right in front of my face. With shaved pubic hair and glistening lips! It was so beautiful. Nothing could have prepared me for how beautiful it was. I leaned close. I'd heard about the scent. I breathed deep and experienced it. Nothing could have prepared me for how intoxicating that aroma was. I wanted to bury my face in it and lick it.

"Whoa, Chaz. I'm getting the impression you want to do something oral with me. There will be time for that when we're horizontal. In the meantime, I want to see the prize that's hiding in your tighty-whiteys. Stand up."

I did and we kissed again. My hard cock pressed against her belly with one less article of clothing between it and her now. She trailed little kisses down my chest and little shocks of pleasure rippled through me as she gently pinched my nipples between her lips. Her hands caressed my arms and chest and back and finally, they passed onto my ass and she squeezed my taught cheeks, moving her fingers around independently so I felt each one as it felt me. She slid her lips down my abs and slipped her tongue into my navel, probing it several times suggestively. When her lips reached the top of my briefs, she slid the elastic down, releasing my cock. It sprang up under her chin and pressed against her throat. She was on her knees now and she pulled her head back away from me to look at it.

"Wow! That is just... Wow! I'm feeling very lucky right now. May I touch it."

"Tish, I'm so turned on right now I could explode if you did."

"Well let's not have that. Let's get into bed and just... explore each other a little."

We did and our hands roamed all over each other. I was careful not to dig right into her most private areas and she was careful not to directly touch my cock, brushing against it only barely, as she felt my thighs. My hands roamed over her curves and the pleasure I was feeling gradually became less overtly sexual and more sensual. My cock calmed down a little and finally, I said, "May I have a taste of that beautiful pussy?"

"Ah, I was hoping you would want that. It's a first that I can still give you. You can go where no tongue has gone before. Go ahead, Chaz. Explore your new friend."

She lay back and spread her legs and my fingers touched her tender lips for the first time. I carefully parted her delicate pink folds and explored the boundaries of the mysteries within. She was very wet. I couldn't believe that a human body could produce anything that feels so slippery and so delightfully pleasurable to touch. I found her hole and slipped a finger into it. Everything inside felt so smooth. I continued to explore and found her clit. It was smaller than I thought it would be and well hidden. A sigh escaped her as I brushed across it. I lost the ability to wait any longer. My tongue tasted her intimate treasure for the first time. The taste was even more intoxicating then the aroma. I probed deep into her hole and then up. My tongue found the little nub that my finger had been slowly circling. Her sighs turned to moans and I gradually increased the pace until I heard, "Ohhhhh, I think I can come from this. Ohhh. A little faster. Yes. Good. A little harder. Yes. Yes. Perfect. Ohh. Now suck on it. Yes. Harder. Yes. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Oh I'm coming. Ah. Ah Ahhhhh."

Her feet rose from the bed and drifted uncontrolled above my back, as if they were weightless. My face rode the bucking saddle of her mound as my tongue and lips continued to send waves of pleasure through her core. I let the pace and force taper off and then increased both again and she came again. When she had had all that she could take, she pushed my face off and said, "Job opening for exceptional lover just got filled. Please fuck me now."

I crawled up and kissed her and she licked my face, tasting her own honey. I'd stayed hard for longer than I could ever remember and it was finally time to find out what it was all about. I slid my cock into her tight pussy and just as I got it all the way in, I suddenly started to come. "Oh, Tish. I'm coming. Sorreee."

"Don't you dare be sorry, Chaz. I'm not disappointed. I was expecting this. Keep thrusting as long as you can and enjoy it. You'll last longer next time."

"Next time?"

"Yes my stud. Later tonight."

I took her advice and felt every last wonderful sensation from her cum-drenched tunnel until my cock shrank and got squeezed out of her. I collapsed next to her, feeling ecstatic more than disappointed, but I waned her to know that I wanted her to enjoy it more.

"I wanted it to be better for you. I'm so embarrassed."

"Don't be. The truth is, that happens to almost every guy, or so I've read. Don't worry, nobody else will ever hear of it from me. Lovers learn secret things and it's just plain rude to reveal each other's secrets. We'll just take a little time, work on our prank, and when you're ready, we'll go again. You were so good to me that I'll be happy to be patient with you."

She got out of bed and started turning lights back on. I marveled at how casually she walked around naked in the increasing light, cum oozing down her thighs as she retrieved and handed my laptop to me. She crawled onto the bed next to me and I began to tell her what we needed. "You'll need to make sure that Blue Tooth is enabled on her phone. That will be the easiest way to find the file. If it isn't, you'll need to enable it. Here's what to do..."

Tish's Story

I couldn't believe how good the oral sex was. I've had sex with two other guys and neither of them put their tongue anywhere near my pussy. I told Chaz that I lost my cherry to Brett, and that is technically correct. But I would have lost it to this guy in high school, except he came as soon as his cock touched my pussy lips and then went limp so fast it was like trying to push yarn into a coin slot. He was wearing a rubber and he never got it in, so I just didn't consider my virginity gone. Who's gonna argue with me?

Brett was barely any better. He had the bad boy look and the cool attitude, but after about five thrusts with his rubber encased five-incher, he popped and a few thrusts later, he was done. I tried to project understanding and not be demanding. I was crushing on him so bad I would have given him all the tries he wanted. But he just turned cold to me. Two days later when I told him I was ready to for another try, he stuck me in his friend zone. That's when Chaz found me crying my sorrows on the way to class. I wouldn't normally have spilled my trouble to anyone, especially a guy. But Chaz's concern for me was so very obvious and I knew he would understand at least part of how bad I was feeling.

Now I've got my first nice guy in my bed and I'm finding him wonderfully pliable. I met Chaz a little over a year earlier when I joined the freshman class midyear, after I spent one term in a community college. I had a secret crush on him from the start, but at first I thought he was my roommate's boyfriend, because they were together so much. Then I figured out she was just playing with him. I gave up on him when I saw how hopelessly entangled he was with her. She had no respect for him, and his weakness for her made it difficult for me to respect him as a man.

Then Chaz seemed to snap out of his trance and told Lisa to stay out of his life. I was very happy for him and I wanted to tell him that, but he stopped visiting and even stopped eating with us in the cafeteria and he didn't seem as friendly to me as he used to be. I just assumed he had been friendly with me for the sake of Lisa. I started crushing on his suitemate Brett and, oh well, I guess every girl has got to make that mistake at least once. Luckily for me, Chas walked up beside me on his way to class. But back to the bed.

We go over his plan for a while and he shows me how to do on his phone the things I'll need to do on Lisa's. Then he demonstrates how he can access my phone from his phone the way he'll have Brett's phone access hers. He even uses his phone to make my phone take a photo. It's a picture of him sitting there naked. Then my phone sends the pic to his along with a text message. I'm astonished at how easy it is. I laugh at the text message he receives with the photo. It says, "Tish's boy toy." At first, our eyes are meeting often, but after about a half hour, his eyes are roaming all over my body a lot. Then I notice that his cock is getting hard again. I pretend not to notice for a few minutes, but I start to feel that wonderful feeling.

"Well look who's rejoined the party. Can this little slut have a lick on that lollipop?"

His cock is the biggest I've personally ever seen. It actually scared me a little when I first saw it. It's about eight inches long and it's thick enough to give me a real full feeling for the three minutes it was in me. I push Chaz over onto his back and take his cock into my mouth. The taste is surprisingly good. My pussy juice mixed with his cum makes a delicious sauce. It's not the first cock ever in my mouth, but it's the most wanted. I give him only a hint of my oral ability. I want him to know that I will return the personal attention, but I also want him to last much longer this time, for both our sakes. I pull a rubber from beneath my pillow and remove the wrapper.

"This will help you last longer and give me something for Lisa to find when she gets back." I grin deviously and he seems to appreciate it. I turn around and get up on my knees on the bed to shut one desk lamp off. I'm pleasantly surprised when I suddenly feel his hands on my hips. I was hoping he would take the hint, but until now, I hadn't sensed him ready to take the initiative.

"Leave the light on, Trixie. I want to see the little slut I'm about to fuck."

A shudder of arousal sweeps through me. I don't know why I like this talk, but I'm very glad he's got the confidence to try it. I feel his thumbs spread my ass cheeks and I know he's getting an eyeful of my most personal parts. I feel so deliciously exposed. One hand reaches around me and grabs my breast as I feel his cock press up between my legs. "Yes!", I moan, to let him know I'm okay without more foreplay.

He pushes into me and my nipples get so hard I could cut glass with them. I reach between my thighs to diddle my clit as he drives full stroke into me. I figure he'll probably go off too soon again, but after about two minutes of stroking he pulls out and lays back on the bed.

"Climb aboard slut. I want to watch you ride it cowgirl."

I've never done that, but I want to. I crawl over him and slide his cock into me. I love the amount of penetration I'm getting and my fingers circle my clit with abandon. "Ride it, little slut. Take that cock all the way up."

His hands grab both of my nipples and pinch them just enough. I ride and rub and gasp with pleasure.

"Oh, god, Chaz. I'm coming."

As my pussy clamps down on his meat again and again, he groans. "Fuck, Trixie I'm coming, too."

I slam my cunt down on him until we are both spent.

I collapse on top of him, breathing like I've just run a marathon, and feel the shuddering remnants of our receding orgasms rippling through both of us. I roll off and cuddle next to him and for the first time, I experience pillow talk.

"Did I do good?"

"Yes, Chaz, that was fantastic. You can go forth and fuck with confidence now. Do I dare to hope that I will be the only slut for you?"

"Tish, Lisa is behind me. You're my one and only."

"Mmmm, I like that. And I liked having you behind me. And you lasted much longer than that other guy. And you are much bigger than him."

"Hey! What happened to not telling secrets about lovers."

"I've decided he was never my lover. He was just a pig who got into my garden when I stupidly left the gate open. I'll be as rude as I want to him. You're the first man that I've invited in."

Yes, maybe I slathered it on a little thick, but I've got my fella, now. I grab my cell phone and verify that I've still got the naked photo of him. Then I send him the photo that Lisa took of me. His phone beeps and he looks at the photo and smiles. "I love the red pubes."

"I'll grow some back if you like."


Then I take a photo of both of us, side-by-side after sex. I feel sorry for the people who were born before this was such an easy thing to do. I think about how great it's going to be to watch the video from my spycam. It's sitting up there on the shelf, filling my laptop's hard drive with our lovemaking, and our planning for sweet revenge over the pigs.

This story is protected by International Copyright Law, by the author, all rights reserved. If found posted anywhere other than with this note attached, it has been posted without my permission.

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