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Charlie-Charlene Part 7

Tommy, Charlene, and Elaine come to terms with reality.
“Well, Sweetie,” Charlene said, “you’re not going on the road right now, so you can worry about all that after you talk to Mr. Karas tomorrow.”

“Who’s Mr. Karas?” Elaine asked.

So Tommy told her all about being buttonholed after dinner on Saturday.

“Charlie’s right. You can burn that bridge when you come to it. Right now, there’s a different bridge I want to try crossing.”

“Cross? Did you purposely make that pun?” Tommy asked, and they all laughed together.

“Com’ere you two,” Charlene said. “I need a hug, while we’re still standing, and can get our arms around each other.”

The three of them came together in a group hug then, and Tommy’s heart felt so full he thought it would burst out of his chest. He started to tear up again.

“HEY!” Elaine exclaimed, as she felt a teardrop fall on her head.

She was only five feet, two inches tall, and was by far the shortest of the three. She had to stand on tiptoe to kiss Charlene, and if she wanted to kiss Tommy while standing, he needed to bend down from his lofty six foot one inch height.

“Oh, Lord, you’re weeping again,” Charlene said, as she wiped another tear from his cheek. “Why are you so weepy, all of a sudden?”

“I don’t know. It is like my emotions are all bolixed up.” God! I have never felt like this before. I’m happy, so I cry. I get sad, just thinking about what might be, and the tears start rolling out. Is this what happens when you have a vagina? Lainie and Charls don’t act all emotional like that, except right before they are having their period. The only other time I ever saw any woman like that was my sister, when she first found out she was….HOLY SHIT! Charlene and Elaine both came in me! I can’t be…. Nah ....that’s not possible…but neither is growing Lady Bits ….oh FUCK! What am I gonna do? It isn’t as if I can walk into Planned Parenthood and say, “Oh, ignore the dick, and just give me an abortion.” Maybe I’m not. Maybe it’s just all the different feelings from having new parts, and growing boobs…growing boobs! That’s what happens when they get knocked up.. their boobs grow…not that fast – it isn’t till the second trimester…’course, the Lady Bits grew overnight… oh FUCK!

“Come on you guys,” Elaine said. “Let’s go back into the bedroom and sit. We can talk there.” She gently placed her hand at the top of Tommie’s ass, and patted it with just her fingers. “We’ll figure it out, Dear. Everything will be okay. You’ll see.”


“… so I think I might be pregnant.” Tommie said, and began crying again.

Charlene thought to herself, well, you sure are showing all the signs, but said, “Oh it’s much too soon to know, Honey. Remember that time I got pregnant in college and went for an abortion? I didn’t know until a week after it happened, and I started feeling nauseous.”

He…no, SHE is definitely knocked up, Elaine thought, but said, brightly. “Charlene is probably shooting blanks anyway. She fucked me, and I didn’t get pregnant.”

“No, “ Tommie said between sobs, “you grew a dick instead.”

The humor in that struck all three of them, and they burst into laughter.

Tommie suddenly sat up straight from the headboard, and held both breasts in his hands. “Ow,” she exclaimed. “Just the shaking from laughing makes them hurt.”

“What size suit jacket do you wear?” Elaine asked him.

“Um...42. What does that have to do with anything?”

“Oh, never mind. Charls, Baby, go get your tape measure from your sewing box. I wanna see something. Tommie, stand up.”

She dutifully got out of bed, and stood next to it with her weight on one foot.

“Not like that,” Elaine said. “Stand up straight. I can’t measure your boobs if you’re all slouched.”

She measured around her ribcage, and mentally added five inches. “Hm-m-m. 40,” she said, and measured around the tips of her nipples.

“Oh look!“ Elaine exclaimed. “Little tiny goose bumpies on her aureolae! And perky nipples, too!”

“Hey!” Tommie said, “Stop tickling.”

“Oh, stop whining,” Elaine said. “If you’re gonna become a lady, this isn’t HALF of what you’re gonna go through. 43. Well, guess what, girls and used-to-be boy? We’re up to a C cup, and my guess is these,” here she stopped and hefted Tommie’s breasts with both hands, ”aren’t finished growing yet.”

Tommie climbed back into bed, and they all three settled in, leaning against the headboard.

“Tommie, Honey, do you have to pee?” Charlene asked suddenly.

“No, why?”

“Lainie, be a sweetie, and go get us some beer. We’re gonna make Tommie pee on a tester, and settle this right now.”

“We can’t use beer. If he, I mean SHE, is pregnant, no alcohol for the next nine months. I’ll make some coffee.”

“Whoa! Whoa! Hold on guys. First off, quit talking about me like I’m not here. Second, There aint no way this guy is having any baby. Not no way. Not no how. If that thing comes up positive, it’s abortion city. I think.... Or maybe not. It would be my, I mean OUR baby, wouldn’t it? And who’s gonna give an abortion to a guy? Oh FUCK! This is just so complicated.”

And she almost started crying again, but Elaine said, “If you start crying again, I’m gonna slap you silly, and give you a reason to cry. So, dammit, like they said in Cool Hand Luke, ‘Get your mind right’.”

“Boy,” Tommie said softly. “Get your mind right, Boy.”

“Yeah. Well in this case get your mind right, girl. Or boy, or whatever the fuck you are. ‘Cause we need to figure this one out,” Elaine said. “Man. I may have a degree in Human Resource Management, but they damn sure didn’t teach me about this shit. How ‘bout you two? Any engineering courses on how to deal with prego guys?”

“No,” Charlene said, “but like the constipated mathematician, we could work it out with a pencil and paper.”

“Very funny,” replied Tommie.

“Aw, dammit!” Charlene suddenly exclaimed. “There’s no point in peeing on a tester. It’s too soon. Those things aren’t worth a damn for a least a week after conception.”

“Wait a minute, guys,” Tommie said. “What about a ‘morning after’ pill?”

“I don’t have any,” Charlene said. ”I’m on regular birth control pills, and don’t need ‘em. How ‘bout you, Lainie? You got any?”

“Now, what the fuck do you think, Charls? What’s a lezzie like me need with those?”

“Okay. Who do we know…”

“GLORIA!” they both exclaimed in unison.

“Wait a minute! WAIT A MINUTE!” Tommie exclaimed.” You’re not gonna go telling Gloria I have a vagina and might be pregnant? Shit. Why don’t you just hire a billboard?”

“Oh, she’s gotten much more close-mouthed since she left college,” Elaine said, soothingly.

“Yeah, and ever since she had that affair with her husband’s law partner,” Charlene added.

Elaine smiled, remembering how the breakup of that affair had led Gloria to come to her in tears. She remembered how she had comforted Gloria, and how the comforting had turned into more, much to both their delights. That was the night Gloria discovered she liked both sides of the fence, and the grass wasn’t greener; just different. “Oh yeah. Gloria has learned how to keep a secret. Besides, if she doesn’t, I’ll bee-otch slap her into Kingdom come,” she said, and grinned.

“You’ll do no such thing,” Charlene said. “Just tell her I need one.”

“But she knows you have a dick, just like mine. Only bigger,” she added ruefully.

“Honey, it’s not the size of the ship; it’s the motion of the ocean,” Charlene replied. “And your motion is just what this boat needs to rock it.”

“Hey. What about MY boat?” Tommie interrupted. “Can’t at least the little man in it get a few strokes?”

“Sure,” Charlene said. “Think you can get off, worrying about if you’re pregnant?”

Tommie felt what little arousal she had momentarily felt, leave entirely. She was suddenly no more interested in sex, than in taking a flying leap at the moon. “Ah, forget it,” she said. “Lainie, call Gloria.”

“Hold on,” Charlene said, as Elaine reached for her cell phone. “What do you wanna bet, a morning after pill wouldn’t work? As fast as these cocks grew, and as fast as Tommie here, has been changing, don’t you think a ‘morning after‘ pill would have had to have been taken the instant after?”

“Jesus!” Elaine exclaimed. “Engineers. You guys and your freaking logic drive me bonkers sometimes.”

“Lainie, please don’t be angry. It makes me want to cry,” Tommie said, and stuck her lower lip out.

“Don’t start, Tommie, or I’ll bee-otch slap you too,” Elaine said, then looked at her, and realized she was kidding.

They all laughed at that , and Charlene said,” You know what? I LIKE laughing with you guys. No, that’s not true. I LOVE laughing with you guys. Tommie, I do. I love you. And Lainie, I love you, too. And okay. Maybe we’re gonna have a baby. But dammit if we do, that kid is gonna have the best life we know how to give it.”

“I love both of you, too,” Tommie said. “And if I AM pregnant, Charls, you’re right, Honey; it was meant to be, and there isn’t anything we can do about it, except have the baby, and give him or her the best home possible.”

“Okay, “ Elaine said. “We don’t call Gloria, until we know for sure. And if we’re gonna have a baby, we celebrate the good news with her. I love you both, and there is no way in Hell I’m gonna let this chance for happiness go by.”


Epilogue –

Tommie had a normal, healthy, beautiful baby girl. She checked under the blanket, as soon they gave the baby to her. There were ten fingers and ten toes, and no penis. They never knew who was the ‘father’, but it didn’t matter. Charlene, Elaine and Tommie all loved her dearly. She had a happy childhood, and because all three of them had sufficient income, never suffered or wanted for anything (other than a car for her sixteenth birthday, which she did not get).

They had packed the magic dildoe away. It was in a box, stored in a closet behind the Christmas decoratons, and they had completely forgotten about it.

When the girl was sixteen, she was looking for a missing Christmas decoration, and found the dildoe. More out of curiosity than anything else, she tentatively touched it with her fingertip. It was warm, and soft, and she drew her finger back as if she had received an electric shock.

This story is protected by International Copyright Law, by the author, all rights reserved. If found posted anywhere other than with this note attached, it has been posted without my permission.

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