Thinking about Elaine, all that comes to mind now is Robert Frost. That poem we all read in high school, “The Road Not Taken”. I’m not going to quote from it now. I’ll leave it to you to look it up if you’re not familiar with it.
But the words come to mind as I think about her now, thinking back around one year to when she first came into my life. More precisely, thinking back to the time when I first followed one road and not another.
I’ll get to the story.
I had just met her two weeks before. I missed my old lover desperately after a very bad break-up, so I had posted a Missed Connection on Craigslist. A sappy, romantic poem, hoping she would read it and somehow know it was from me. Somehow hoping it would make her contact me and all would be right in the world.
She doesn’t read Craigslist posts. Who was I fooling?
But lots of other people do. At least thirty replies, all thinking I was writing about them. All being dead wrong.
And then there was Elaine. She didn’t think I was writing for her. She just liked what I wrote, and she said so.
I wrote back and thanked her, and that was the beginning of a good dozen or so email exchanges. Which then led to exchanging cellphone numbers with a view just to chatting. Nothing more contemplated. Nothing more desired.
A week after the chats began, I found myself out on a Saturday afternoon bike ride, near the neighborhood she said was her home. I decided to call, and found she was going for a walk. We met. She walked. I rode slowly beside her. We talked. We clicked. And when we parted and we kissed. But not on the lips – that was her rule. Never, never on the lips. So we did it like on the continent, as they say. A kiss on each cheek, and then goodbye.
The next week (that brings me to the start of my story, where I said I had just met her two weeks before, for those who care about a timeline), it was early Saturday afternoon. I was out in my car, running some errands and had the day to myself. The family was otherwise occupied, so time was no object. I called her up and she was free, so I suggested we get together and grab something to eat.
We met. We talked. We shared a tuna sandwich on a lovely baguette at a small patisserie. She drank water and took her half empty bottle with her at the end. I think I had iced tea.
She mentioned that she didn’t drive anymore since getting rid of her car, and it had been a while since she visited her parents at the cemetery. I asked her where, and realized it was only a fifteen minute drive. I offered to take her. She accepted.
Off we went.
There are different types of dishonorable behavior, and having an affair is considered pretty high on that list by most people. But it’s a fact of life, and I long ago stopped judging people, including myself, on simply seeking a human connection when home life fails to provide that. I long ago stopped judging people, including myself, on simply trying to feel needed, desired and loved.
So on a one to ten scale of dishonorable behavior, where does having an affair in a cemetery rank?
I didn’t set out to have another affair. I thought mine was over and done. As far as I could tell, I wasn’t embarking on one anyway. I was simply with a new found friend, having shared lunch, simply doing a good deed as I took her to visit her parents’ graves for the first time in years, helping her to find some wild flowers to lay on the grave and watching her use her half empty water bottle from lunch as a makeshift vase in which to put those flowers. Touching. I said a prayer along with her as we stood at the graves.
Back to the car. We sat in the quiet of my car for a few minutes talking, and looking back I can’t for the life of me remember how we got onto the topic of breasts, but somehow we were talking about them, and somehow my hand ended up on one of her breasts.
Then the other breast.
And then somehow my hand began to stimulate her nipples, and then somehow my hand ended up inside her blouse and inside her bra and I felt an absolutely lovely feeling. Her breasts were not too small and not too large, being full and very soft, and my hand could knead her luscious flesh easily. Her nipples were hard, yet not very large, and I simply sat there massaging them under her bra as we sat parked along the roadway inside the cemetery, still within sight of her parents’ graves.
I unbuttoned her blouse and managed to pull her left breast into the open from inside the protective shell of her bra, and I saw her pale, milky flesh topped with a very dark and lovely nipple. I leaned forward and took it into my mouth. I forget the conversation we shared exactly, but by this time I recall it had included discussions about how long it had been for both of us since we had been with the opposite sex in an intimate way. Ok, I’m being coy. The actual words were probably about how long it had been since we had been fucked by someone.
Her breasts were delicious. I sucked hard on her nipple, and found that she enjoyed it somewhat on the rough side, asking me to suck harder and even to bite a little bit. I stayed with just her left breast, simply due to logistics inside the car, and she closed her eyes and leaned back in the seat as I continued to lick circles around her nipple and then take it in my mouth and suck it hard and bite on it, and then return to gently licking it.
My left hand was free. I ventured south with it onto her crotch, outside her pants, and felt the warmth of her pussy radiating through at least one layer of fabric – I didn’t yet know what she wore beneath. I could feel the damp warmth of her arousal through her pants, and it beckoned me to unzip the front and to slide my left hand inside, finding that she did wear something beneath, but not too much – a silky thong, which allowed my hand to easily find the bare flesh of her shaved pussy, and to slide my fingers in between her damp labia.
I continued to suck on her left breast as I began to massage her down below, every so often picking my head up from the action to look out the windows to ensure that we were not being watched or seen by some other cemetery visitors.