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Wasteland: Unlimited Content

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“You don’t send audition tapes for porn, stupid,” Amber said. “You go audition in person, or they find you, and they videotape that. You haven’t seen those things on the internet?”

Kona laughed. “You didn’t know those were fake? Like, they totally pay real porn stars for that. They just pretend to be talked into it on camera.”

Amber shrugged. “I bet some of it is for real. Everyone gets their start somehow, and its not by playing with yourself on camera and sending it to some porn skeeve.”

“I’m not going to just be playing with myself,” Kona said, with a wink. “Check this out...”

-

Kona needed money. She had just been fired from her fourth job that year: two as a waitress, one as a personal assistant, one as a retail clerk, and all were a complete disaster. She was sexy as hell, and a total mess. The year they both turned 18, Amber was a senior in high school, and Kona had dropped out two years earlier, had paid a guy off the internet to send her a phony ID and GED, and was trying to scheme and hustle her way to success. But successful hustlers were hard-working and smart, and Kona wasn’t.

A year earlier, she short-skirted her way into a pretty decent personal assistant gig. She made enough money to start buying pills, and did a brisk business with the local dealers for a few weeks. But, a couple weeks after she started coming up short, she lost her job, and her supply dried up quickly.

Being blessed with a sexy body won’t always get you far in life, but it will definitely get you some extra chances. Where a guy would probably end up with a mouthful of loose teeth, Kona Ka’aluna was able to make a peaceful arrangement with the local kingpin. In this case, Jimmy Redwine.

“Money or time,” he told her, all the while thinking about how much time he’d like to spend with his dick buried in her little Hawaiian ass, and making a mental note to do so. “You owe me money. Short of that, you’re gonna give me your time.”

Jimmy started her out as just another errand girl: refilling drinks, picking up food, giving back-rubs, cleaning the house, whatever. With no pressure and no money to really be anywhere else anyway, she did okay. But she never did anything without trying to work an angle, and within a few days, she set her hooks into Jimmy. In exchange for just about anything he wanted her to do, sexually and otherwise, Jimmy kept her in the pills, even as she worked off her debt. She even convinced him give her a try as a runner, carrying about two thousand pills on a Southwest flight to some partners in Fresno. Jimmy figured she was probably too young and stupid to be nervous, which other than dressing like a terrorist, was just about the only thing that would get you caught by airport security. Besides, his guys in Fresno were sweethearts, and he’d make sure Kona knew just what would happen if she got crazy ideas about running off with the drugs or the cash.

He was right about the young and stupid part, for better and worse. She got through airport security like a breeze, and delivered the goods no problem. Unfortunately for Jimmy, she decided to stay and party with the crew she made the drop-off to. The poor bastards probably figured Jimmy had just sent some easy candy, and for all anyone knew, that’s exactly what he’d intended. What he didn’t intend was for Kona to swipe some of their pills, get high as a kite, then insist on some cash after four of them gang-fucked her. She threatened to sic Jimmy’s goons on them if they didn’t pay up after getting freaky for an hour straight. Out of respect for Redwine, and to keep a crazy Hawaiian bitch from making any more of a scene than she already had, they each gave her a hundred bucks. $400 plus the full amount for the delivery, yet she still somehow came back about $300 short.

With Kona even further in the hole, drug counts in the house coming up a little shy, and Jimmy unable to trust her, he cut her loose, but kept her saddled with the debt. Unable to truly kick her to the curb, he recommended her as a waitress to a customer that owned a restaurant, knowing damn well that she was probably no good. But, what was the guy going to do, hold it against him and stop buying his stuff? While that job lasted, she was expected to pay, and as long as he was still owed, he made sure to get a free piece of island ass whenever he felt like it. He let his right-hand man Mickey know, and Mickey swore the rest of the crew off of her. She owed, but she was Jimmy’s. Keep away.

This is where the mess really started to stink.

With the money she made waitressing, she found a different supplier. Working what little charisma she had, she convinced them to front her the pills by selling them on the idea of a big restaurant full of dope waiters willing to pitch in their tips for highs. Needless to say, that didn’t work out very well for her or her new suppliers. She only had to show up at Redwine’s once, all beat up and expecting Jimmy to make good on his offer to protect her, before Jimmy covered the debt to the other crew and tacked it onto what she owed him. To top all of that off, he now had to explain it to his girl, who was naked and underneath him when Kona burst in with her sob story. Free pussy’s never really free, he reminded himself while Ivy went crazy with her “who the fuck is this bitch” line of questioning.

“Every man’s got his breaking point, and mine is bailing your dumb ass out like this,” he told her when he came by the next day. “Makes me look bad, especially since it puts you an extra grand in the hole. Figure your shit out, and get your ass off my books. Don’t make us come looking for you.”

That’s when Kona and Amber started their daily urgent brainstorming sessions, which were way more hilarious than productive most of the time. Unluckily for Kona, every internet and late-night TV get-rich-quick scheme demanded a payment up front, but that didn’t stop her from investigating each one anyway, and begging an unflinching Amber for the start-up cost on at least half of them.

“Girl, you know I love you, but what makes you think I’m giving you a thousand dollars I don’t even have, to buy a mystery shopper start-up kit? Don’t you wonder why they would possibly need a grand up front to tell you where to start shopping and eating out?”

Jimmy wasn’t calling anymore, but Mickey was, and he wasn’t playing any games. Kona was desperate, and the day after she was laughed off the stage in her tryout at a local strip club, she hatched her idea about the porn audition.

-

Kona decided she would shoot a porn video and send it to “all the major studios”, whoever they happened to be, instead of just posting it on the internet like everyone else does. “Why make my video just one in a million? I’ll send it straight to the top, and we’ll put my phone number and email address on the screen, like, at the bottom.” She really thought she was onto something, and the next day, with Amber’s friend Rose in tow, they decided to tackle the detail of who would star opposite Kona in her porn debut. Amber suggested a few mutual male friends and aquaintances, which Kona immediately shot down as being “too wierd”. In one case, her answer was “I made out with him once; his dick is way small.” Kona suggested Amber’s brother, but was swiftly vetoed.

“Maybe I don’t even know anybody that could do it,” said Kona. “Should I just get a real live porn star to do it?”

“With what money?” Amber asked. “I don’t think real live porn stars do favors for strangers; I don't care how hot you are. ”

“What about Mickey?” Rose said from the back seat. Kona turned around and laughed. “No, seriously,” she continued. “You owe them money and he is the one coming after you for it, right?”

“Yeah, so?”

“So, give him a call and let him know you’re on your way to paying your debt, and tell him about your idea. Then tell him you want him to be in it with you. It’s harder to be an asshole when you get paid a compliment like that.”

“What’s the compliment, I don’t get it,” Kona said, looking blankly back at Rose.

“The compliment is, ‘I want you to fuck me on camera, which will live forever’. He may think it’s stupid....so do I, really. But at the very least he knows you’re not just flipping him off on your debts.” The car was silent for a few beats. "He's a businessman, and you have a plan."

“I think she has a point,” Amber said, almost apologetically.

“He is kinda cute...and has a good body,” Kona said, looking out the window, then turning back toward Amber and Rose. “But he fucking threatens me! Treating me like a deabeat and shit, why would I fuck a guy like that?,” she said.

“It’s his job,” Rose replied. “He’s just taking orders, who knows what he’s really like? And even if he is a dickhead, as long as he can fuck, that’s all that matters right?” Kona let this sink in. “I mean, you’re motivated,” she continued. “And if you’re not that attracted to him, what’s the big deal? It’s a job.” Rose took the silence as a sign that her logic was slaying Kona, and pressed on. “Plus, it’s not like sex means much to you anyway, right?”

“Hey!” exclaimed Amber and Kona, simultaneously. Rose offered a ‘take it or leave it’ shrug.

“Sorry,” she said. “I’m only saying: having some sex is not a bad thing, and in this case, you could end up with a payday. If not, which is probably the case anyway, you got some practice for when you actually do get paid.” Kona hummed, as if to mull the option.

“That reminds me though: why don’t you just do Craigslist or something? You probably only owe about thirty handjobs,” Rose said. “You could knock that out in a week if the ad looks hot.”

“Fuck you, Rose, I’m not a whore!” Kona said, swatting her hand at her in offended disgust.

“Just trying to help,” she answered, scrolling through her phone messages.

“I got it! Iknow what to do!,” Amber said, and laid out the plan as they searched for a parking spot at the mall.

-

“You interrupted my day and had me drive across town to tell me that you’re gonna try to be a porn star?” Mickey said, loud enough for the patrons of the four surrounding booths to turn and look. He noticed this, pursed his lips, and lowered his voice, but not his intensity. “Good luck with all that,” he said with a bemused chuckle. “ I’m sure you’ve had enough practice, but what the fuck does this have to do with me getting my money?”

“Have a seat, and take a look,” Amber said, opening her laptop computer and scooting over to make room for Mickey. The waitress noticed the new guest and came to take his order.

“Since its on my time, you bitches are picking this up; just so you know,” he said, then proceeded to order two beers, a roast beef sandwich, and fries. Amber waited for her to walk away from the table, then she entered the web address and pushed the computer in front of Mickey.

“Well?” Kona asked.

“What is this, a joke?” he said, with a mixture of disbelief and amusement.

“Dead serious, babe,” Kona replied.

-

Amber’s breakthrough idea led to Kona going to visit her old friend Austin, a computer whiz and chronic video gamer who, until Kona failed to pay him a couple times, kept her laptop in working order. These days he freelanced for just about everyone from internet scamsters to housewives who can’t figure out their MacBooks. Kona wanted to start a website and charge people a dollar to watch her have sex on camera. Austin was full of ideas on that, starting with the payment method for his labor, since she had no cash.

“You want to have sex with me on camera?” she said, with the facial expression usually reserved for the discovery of mold the closet. Austin was unfazed, smiling broadly. “No offense, Austin, but I think people will want to see me with somebody a little more...studly.”
“Well, you can have sex with more than one person,” he said. “Wouldn’t you do that anyway? One person’s not that much of a show. You know anybody that just watches one little bit of porn? Fuck no, they always want more. Besides, you got no idea what I’m packin’, sweetheart.”

Kona rolled her eyes. “Well if I’m going to take on more than one guy, I’m upping the price,” she said, folding her arms. “Two dollars.” Austin nodded, smiling.

“I think they’ll get their money’s worth out of that,” he said. “But I get half of whatever you get. This shit is not cheap to host, you know.”

Within two days they had a website up by the name of For $1.99, subscribers got the ‘unlimited content’, which really meant that they would be able to see her have sex live when it occurred, and could download it anytime after that. Other than that, some super-explicit photos with captions in questionable grammar were all they had to offer, but Austin sold ads to some adult video and erotic stories sites in exchange for a piece of the revenue.

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“We gotta sell the main event. If we can make them believe that they’re gonna see some good fucking for two dollars, we’re golden,” said Austin. “Surely we can do that. Fuck, I could sell somebody a dollar for two dollars if I had a body like yours to sell it in.”

After two days, they had 429 subscribers. By the time they called Mickey to let him know about the plan, it was up to 1,098, and they were still five days away from the date of ‘the deed’ given on the website.

-

The two girls stared intently at Mickey, whose eyes were scrolling back and forth, studying the website. “What makes you stupid bitches think that anybody’s gonna pay good money before they even see anything?”

“Over a thousand people have so far,” Amber said. “And it’s only been three days.”

“No shit,” he mumbled, looking back at the computer screen. “Well, in that case, I guess you’re gonna pay after all. You really got a thousand people signed up? That’s two grand,” he said, then cocked his head and locked eyes with Kona. “Pay me.” Amber explained that that it would take several days to extract the money, which was a lie, but neither Kona nor Mickey knew any different.

“But as long as you agree to co-star, you’ll get your money right after the shoot,” Kona said. “We’ll have it ready.” Mickey laughed.

“You bitches are crazy,” he said. “You think I’m gonna fuck live on the motherfuckin’ internet?”

“Why not?” Kona asked. “Scared? You got a small dick or what?”

“Fuck no, you can’t handle this,” he said, pointing at his crotch with both hands like a stooge. The two girls laughed.

“Good, then you’ll put your money where your mouth is,” Amber said. Mickey nodded, grinning gamely.

“Yeah, yeah, don’t get too cocky,” he said. “Who the fuck owes who money here? Don’t forget that.” Mickey kept reading while he scarfed down his burger and fries. Amber wondered how close he had gotten to completing Hooked on Phonics before giving up. There can’t be more than 300 words on the whole damn site, she thought. And he’s been reading for 10 solid minutes.

“So you’re gonna fuck two guys?” he said, looking up. “Damn. Who’s the other?”

“My computer guy,” Kona added cheerfully. Mickey leaned back, holding his palms up.

“Oh, hell no! I ain’t sword fighting with any other motherfuckers,” he said.

“Relax,” Kona said. “You won’t be doing me at the same time...if you don’t want to.”

“And I’m not taking sloppy seconds off some other fool neither,” he said. “I get it first.”

“So you’ll do it?” Kona said, eyes lit up.

“This is some crazy shit,” he said, mostly to himself. You owe me $2,200, with interest. “I’ll do it for 3.” Kona and Amber looked at each other, shrugged, and answered in unison.

“Okay.”

-

Surely nobody...

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