Wayside High School may seem like your typical high school. Band geeks to athletes. Cheerleaders to dancers. So many in between. However, the one thing that set Wayside apart was a list. A mysterious list that became not-so-mysterious, evolved and evolved over three years that showed off Wayside’s sexiest. It evolved so much that it became a book. Then an actual event. This isn’t your run-of-the-mill pageant. This is the story of The List.

“Yo, she’s fine!” A freshman said.

“I bet she’s going to be picked this year! Mmm!” Another one said.

I love women. That is obvious. Some of you might say that this is misogynistic. Some might say this is perverted. To all of you that I offended and all of you that I pissed off, I’m truly sorry. This doesn't make anything better. I just call it appreciation, that’s all. That’s not a generalization. In my opinion, the girls who are in that book are complimented, not objectified. I thought if you were in the book, it was a compliment. I knew my role. A lot of girls knew me. I knew the general rule: Look, but don’t touch. Some appreciated it. Some didn’t.

My name is David Brisco. I am very well known around here at Wayside. I’m a senior here. I’m eighteen now. I also am the voice of the football team, meaning I introduce the football team and the band at halftime home games. I sing in the choir also. I have seen the list as it grew. Like every male, I have had fantasies involving some of the girls in this book.

That’s why I picked them. If you made it, hell, drink it in. Bask in your beauty. However, some didn’t. That alienated a few. I guess I missed the point. I guess that’s kind of significant. When you are looking at tits and ass, scoring them every day, judging them with a few of my fellow male compatriots… that irritated them.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: Is he the creator behind “The List”? No. I am not. The infamous book eventually has been around school for a few years now. I am one of the main judges for the event coming up this year. Myself and my classmates read who was in it. Through time, “The List” evolved. It morphed little by little. Through time, it found more names. Through time, it became more infamous. Nothing was the same after that.

Through it all, I was thinking: 'What the hell? How did it get like this?'

Without really thinking: 'How is this going to reflect on me?'

I had some female friends I thought that were really cool, as well as attractive. Until this list came out. Some I really wanted to ask out and chickened out. Some I look at and say to myself: “You never had a chance…”

Now, I have to say it’s kind of a blessing in disguise, because that’s the beauty of this event. I say “event”, because this surely is not a pageant. This is unique. This is basically asking, “Who is Wayside’s sexiest lady?” Scantily clad and nude fantasies will come true on this night. In addition to that, the ones who make it far… well, they’ll eventually find out why they’re so highly esteemed on “The List.”

And the main perk of being a judge is: I already know the names of the participants. They don’t. Some I agree with. Some I don’t. Now, I’m sure you’re wondering: “What are the guidelines for this event?”

Good question. The guidelines are: Half of the participants will be current students at Wayside. The others are alumni from Wayside. All have been on the list in the past or presently. Current students must be upperclassmen only, meaning juniors or seniors. As for the alumni, they have the choice to accept or reject. The winner will be paid very handsomely. The winner will be crowned at a mansion party near the end of the year.

To all of the ladies that made the infamous list, all of you that were offended and all of the ladies that took it as a compliment…

I have this to say: 

It was a compliment.

Ladies, may the sexy be in your favor.