It was then that I remembered that I was enrolled at a strictly female university.
I approached cautiously, holding my lunch in one hand and a paper cup of apple juice in the other.
“Hi, do you mind if I sit with you?” She looked up and flashed a smile at me.
“Sure.” It was as if she spoke with her entire body. I placed my lunch on the table and sat down next to her. She offered her hand. “Hi, I'm Jordan.” I took her hand, it felt like I'd been shot with ten thousand volts as she held my hand in her firm grip.
“Jayah,” I said timidly. We ate silently for a bit before she broke the ice.
“So what's your major?”
“English, minoring in music. And you?”
“Sociological Studies and psychology. Duel majors.”
“Wow. That sounds ambitious.”
“That's who I am.” She beamed. I must have been blushing. She seemed to be trying to psychoanalyze me. Suddenly she said, “Do I make you uncomfortable?”
“No. Honestly,” I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. Messy ponytails were never my favourite hairstyle. “You make me confused.” She leaned back in her chair. Her face was stern, but her mouth kept twitching, as if hinting at a smile.
“How so?”
“Until today, I believed myself to be heterosexual woman, but you're, uh, kind of... changing that.”
“Alright. I'll be frank. I am transgendered. I am biologically female, but I prefer to live my life as a male. I am a straight male, I like girls. I kind of like you.” Shit. That was smooth. She --He-- spoke so confidently, I was at a loss for words. “What can I say? I have a weakness for big, beautiful, sassy women.”
“Did you use sassy in place of black?”
“Yes.” He chuckled.
“Um, okay. I don't know if I should tell you 'no,' or just go with it.”
“Go with it.” He stole a fry off my plate and ate it, flashing his smile once more. “This could be fun.”
Over the next few days, Jordan, who I learned preferred to be called "Jay," and I exchanged glances and texted nearly every minute. We ate together when possible, and he even walked me to class a few times. It was amazing how open and sweet he was. In just about a week I learned that he had a twin brother, and another brother who was mute. He had been kicked out of five different high schools before finding one that accepted him for who he is. He'd been thinking about going into the Navy, then changed course.
In the course of a week, I'd become stricken. I was fascinated and completely obsessed with him.
"So who's that girl you've been hanging out with?" My roommate, Allison, sat on her bed painting her toenails.
"What girl?" I pondered. She looked at me like she thought I was stupid.
"You know, that chick with a pixie cut in the baggy clothes?" Right girl. Jay is a girl.
"Oh, you mean Jordan?"
"Yeah. Her. She's weird."
"She's really sweet actually. And pretty awesome. I would even venture to say that she's the man.” I giggled at my joke.
“I'll say she's a complete dyke.” She's scoffed. “It's gross.”
“Hey come on there's nothing wrong with her.” She screwed the cap onto her purple polish and pulled her glasses out of her brunette hair to put them on her face.
“She creeps me out.
