Shafts of early-morning sunshine were coming through my bedroom window as the bedside phone rang. Through one bleary eye, I saw it was 6.30. I picked up.

"So how was I?" I instantly recognised the sultry voice of my next door neighbour, Barbara.

"Er good morning. Little early isn't it?"

"I've been awake since five, but I didn't like to ring before. How was I last night?"

Memories of our late night mutual voyeurism session began filtering back. A distinctive image of her, sat astride an old stool, sliding a pink plastic dildo in and out of her pussy. All the while smiling at me through her bedroom window.

"The last bit especially," she said insistently, "when I did pee-pee for you? I've never done that for a man before. Was it hot?"

"It was really great, Barbara. Extremely sexy. Even though I only saw you from a distance." My vantage point, observing my neighbour's nocturnal sexual antics, had been my own bathroom (where I was standing naked), some fifty metres away from her cottage. "How did I look?"

She made a purring sound down the phone. "Uber-sexy, Tony. It looked like that was a real big load you shot over your bathroom mirror. Wish I'd been there to help you clean it up.

Aroused by her candour, I grasped my rising cock beneath the bed sheets. "Yes, it was simply huge. My second of the day too. I'd already creamed in my pants, sitting in your kitchen yesterday afternoon."

She giggled. "I know! Listen, naughty boy: it looks as if it's going to be a beautiful day. Why not drop by mid-morning? I'm planning to do some sunbathing."

"OK, Around ten?"

"Fine. But I won't be in the flower garden where I was yesterday. Come around to the back of the cottage. I've got a neat little sun trap there. It's sheltered and very secluded."

"OK. See you later."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Barbara's sun trap was indeed secluded. A paved area of old bricks, partially shaded by an ancient willow tree. She was stretched out naked on a sun lounger, with two white shells placed over her eyes. Her legs were bent at the knees and swung over the edge of the bed, with her feet planted on the ground. This was a style of sunbathing I'd observed being used by Italian women on a nudist beach I'd once visited near Portofino. It ensured that the vagina's inner folds got nicely tanned, I was told.

She was gently stroking her slit through her pubic bush. Hearing my footsteps on the paving, she languidly removed the sea shells. "Good morning. Are you going to join me?" She patted another sun bed alongside her own.

"Sure."

"Before you do, be an angel and bring us a couple of glasses of the lemon squash that's in a jug in the fridge, would you? I made it this morning. Then when you come back I want you to oil me, please. And get that kit off so's the lady can see the goods!"

I handed her a tall coaster of the iced lemonade, peeled off my T-shirt and slipped out of my shorts. As she passed me a tube of sun lotion she took an appreciative glance at my erect cock. "It's even better in close-up Mr De Mille!" She tenderly stroked my scrotum with her spare hand. "Mmmm, you've got quite a load stored in there, I'd say."

"I was edging in the night."

She smiled, lay back and closed her eyes. "How very thoughtful."

"Where shall I oil you,  Barbara?"

"First do my titties - real slow, please - and pay special attention to my nipples." As instructed, I began my sun oil massage of her huge breasts.

"I'm not too worried about sun cream, but I really need some attention between my legs, honey. I've got the most terrible toothache down there."

"A toothache?"

"Sorry. That's a girls' in-joke for when their nubs start twitching."

"Finger or tongue?"

"Mmmm. Tongue would be divine. I haven't had my pussy eaten for ages. Not by a man, anyway."

I knelt between her legs and lowered my face onto her sweet-smelling quim. Its labial lips were already moist.

"Was that one of your 'minis'?" I asked.

She nodded coyly and sat up. "You're quite an expert with that tongue of yours, aren't you. Had much practice?"

"Quite a bit. I've always loved the intimacy of cunnilingus, especially tasting a woman's 'love honey'. What's your favourite sexual  perversion?"

She thought for a moment. "Girlie piss action, I guess."

"Really? And where did you develop that particular kink?"

"The all-girl medical college where I trained. At weekends a gang of us used to cycle to a lake and swim in the buff. Then we'd sit on the landing stage and have pee-pee competitions to see who could piss the furthest."

"That must have been quite a sight."

"The fishermen on the opposite bank thought so. Standing there with their bare torsos, just in their waders, openly jerking off while they watched us. We'd wave at them and cheer when we saw them shoot their loads into the lake!"

Aroused by her story, I moved closer, so she could see the pre-cum that had formed on my glans. "I'd love you to suck my cock, Barbara."

She tenderly caressed it between her two palms. "I thought you'd never ask!"

She was certainly an expert at fellatio, sucking in slow pulses, varied by tantalising riffs with her tongue along my shaft, as well as kissing my glans with her puckered lips. She looked up expectantly. "Nearly there?"

I nodded. "On the edge, I'd say."

"Then why don't you go back to creaming my titties? But don't use any of that silly old sun oil this time."

As with my secret emission into my trousers in her kitchen the previous day, such sexually-charged language produced the necessary 'tipping point'. I held my cock between her breasts just as the first spurt of my spunk shot out. Four lovely ropes of warm creamy semen were splashed over those pendulous breasts. She rubbed it over her chest and around her nipples.

She smiled mischievously. "Mmmm. Nothing quite like a spunk shower is there?" She lifted one hand to her mouth and licked my cream. "Do you know the bit I like best of all?" She held her palm close to my nose. "The smell! There's something terribly sexy about the smell of freshly-ejaculated semen, don't you think. They should bottle it."

"Right, let's go inside, shall we? I urgently need to get rid of some of that lemonade. And I'm sure you'd like to watch!"

I dutifully followed her indoors. The cottage had a surprisingly spacious bathroom on its ground floor, with a tiled shower, basin and toilet. But Barbara elected to squat over the bidet, with her legs splayed open.

"Now come and stand in front of me. When I begin to do pee-pee, I want to you to wee over my slit." With one hand, she spread her dark brown petals open invitingly. Her waterworks weren't long in delivering a lovely long shaft of amber fluid, which I obediently matched with my own.

Afterwards, she washed us both down with warm water from the bidet's hand spray.

We were once again sat facing each other at the table in Barbara's kitchen. She was wearing her ankle-length floral print cotton smock, though this time she'd left it un-belted and hanging open, so that I could watch her frigging herself. My new lover looked across and smiled sweetly. "So tell me, shy, taciturn Tony: what's your favourite sexual perversion."

"Anal."

Her eyes widened with delight. "Up the track in the back, eh? Attaboy. You are a dark horse! One of my favourite pastimes too. I've had two kids; both were big babies, so my vag got well and truly stretched. But my anus is still lovely and tight. Could I interest you in coming upstairs and trying it for size, sir?"

I didn't need a second invitation.