The story so far

Sue, my wife had been cheating on me for years. I initially didn’t respond but as time passed and she continued to be unfaithful I responded by having an affair with Marg. This was unlike me in those days and I could never work out if I did it for revenge or for some other unidentified reason.

Eventually, I decided to leave my job and travel to the west. In doing so I told my wife that if she wanted to come with me then she had to stop her cheating. She agreed but within weeks of arriving in the west, I found that she was having an affair. This was directly after we had decided to have another child.

I had been surprised that Sue encouraged me to sleep with Marg. She also allowed me the opportunity to be alone with other women who she was aware would be interested in sleeping with me.

When I discovered that a pregnant Sue had cheated again, I sent her home to her father’s place. It was there some months later that she lost the child. I viewed the body and immediately recognized that the child had the features of her previous lover. I returned to the west leaving her with her father.

Marg and Cherie, her partner had moved in with me. Gay, the ex-wife of one of the men that Sue had cheated with had also moved in with me.

Sue had told me that she was sending our 2 children over to me but I was shocked when Sue insisted that she come back with them. I tried to convince her not to but she insisted. I had our housekeeper, Debbie prepare a room for her.

The story continues.

Sue was not happy with living in one of the spare rooms. I made sure that she was placed adjacent to our kids and far enough away from my room that hopefully, she would get the message that she was not welcome. It did, however, make things a little more difficult for Gay to spend the night with me. Gay would wait until everyone was asleep and she would make her way to my room via the outer doorway. Each morning she would then sneak out the same way before anyone was awake.

The arrangement with Gay was perfect. We both enjoyed each other’s company and sex together but neither wanted a long-term relationship.  It probably would have been sensible to simply let everyone know about our relationship but neither of us wanted the inconvenience that was likely to occur when Sue became aware. We were both fairly sure that Marg and Cherie knew that we were spending time together but they said nothing so we assumed they had no problems with it.

Sue continued to manipulate. She would try to beat me to bed and more than once I went up to bed to find her warming it for me. Each time I would say, “if you stay here I’m sleeping somewhere else.” Sue would reply with things like, “how long must I wait,” or “I haven’t had sex since we were together last time.”

I knew most of what she said was untrue but not once did I challenge her. My response remained the same for several months. Unfortunately, my mind started to play tricks on me.

On those nights where Gay didn’t come to my room I started my series of dreams again. They always started the same way. I was with Marg. We hugged and we kissed and we started to make love. When I looked at that tight little pussy with its thick matted hair it suddenly became scarce and blond. I then looked up to see that I was with Marg’s sister, Lyn. I then thought I must call her. When I looked down again Marg’s pussy had gone as had Lyn’s and in their place was my wife’s oversized hole. My heart skipped a beat and I awoke in a sweat.

Each time the dream was the same and the results were the same. I spent hours trying to work out why and how I could still have such feelings for someone who had so little regard for my feelings. She had repeatedly hurt me over and over again. After each dream, I would not be able to sleep. Eventually, I would get up and have a drink, and then another and so on until rational thought became impossible and sleep soon followed. 

On more than one occasion I considered going to Sue’s bedroom and making love to her but she had hurt me too much for that. I looked forward to the nights that Gay would come because it meant that I could lie with her in my arms which appeared to keep the dreams away. With this in mind I asked Gay would she like to move into my room.

“Are you asking me to become your permanent partner?” She responded.

That question took me by surprise and I hesitated in answering. My hesitation was all that Gay needed.

“I’m not interested in being the cure for a marital problem. That’s what you’re looking for isn’t it?”

“I guess so. I’m sorry. I should have more respect for you than to put you in that situation.”

“Yes, you should! Sue is your problem and you have to solve it, I can’t. If you were to ask me the same question after you have disposed of Sue then you might be quite surprised with my answer. I cannot help you with Sue. Only you can fix that. Now do you want me to come over tonight or not?”

“Of course I want you to come over. I want you to come over every night.”

“Good but I will not come to your bed every night, not until you have dealt with that other problem called, Sue. Now give me a kiss while no one is watching.”

I felt ashamed that I had not treated Gay with more respect than to raise that with her. I knew that the only reason that Sue had not caught Gay and I was that Sue was watching Marg thinking that she was the one sleeping with me. What worried me the most was that in my heart I knew that I was too weak to send Sue away.

Despite all the attention that I received from Gay, Marg, Cherie, Debbie and Gloria in my heart I knew that I was missing Sue. I also knew that to ignore my innermost feelings was a receipt for disaster. I was using alcohol to deal with the issue and every time I needed more and more alcohol to take the pain away. I also knew that alcohol addiction was very prominent in my family. I had to find a way to deal with this issue and deal with it quickly.

The decision was pushed along by a number decisions made by others. The first of those came when Marg came to my bedroom and asked could she speak to me in confidence. I nodded and she continued.

“I once told you that if Sue came back I would consider moving out.”

“Yes, I’ve been dreading this moment ever since.”

“I know that it was not your decision to bring Sue back and I’m grateful for that. Cherie and I have decided that we need to move away to strengthen our relationship.”

“I’ve tried very hard to not make your life more complex than it already is Marg by staying away from you and Cherie as much as reasonably possible. I thought it was working for you both.”

“Yes, we’re both aware of that but you see it is more complex than you realize.” Marg looked at the floor for a while before she continued talking. “You see, I’m still in love with you and I think that Cherie knows that so she wants to get me away from you.”

“Come here, Marg.” She moved across to me and I held her tight. When she looked up I kissed her. She responded. “You’re very special to me, Marg and you always will be. I know that Cherie feels the same about you as I do and you and your kids will always be looked after while you are with her. I want you to know that if ever you and Cherie need help of any kind I will be there for you.”

“Thanks, Goyse. I hope you and Sue work it out together once you let her back.”

“What makes you think I will let her back?”

“We women instinctively know these type things. I’ve known all along that you are still in love with her. I just wish you weren’t. She’ll hurt you again for sure.”

“Maybe she will, maybe not.”

“Gay will know it too. She’s smart.” Marg looked at me for a while as if trying to work out what next to say. I waited patiently, besides I didn’t know what to say to her. “She loves you too. You would be a lot better off if you sent Sue packing and asked Gay to stay with you.”

“I’ve already asked her.”

“I thought so but you haven’t sent Sue away. That’s why Gay hasn’t committed. She would jump at the chance if Sue wasn’t there.”

All the while she was talking she was looking me directly in the eye. I felt that she was trying to read my mind, her stare was so intense. She continued.

“I don’t want you to let Cherie know that I’ve talked to you. Can you do that for me?”

“Of course, I can.”

“She will make the announcement tonight.”

“OK.”

I felt the tears rising. I couldn’t help it.

“Please don’t cry. You don’t have to tell me, I know you still love me. I’ll always be thinking of you. I think of our fun times together every night as I go to sleep.”

“You’re not alone there. I’m sorry that I’m cursed with this bond I have with Sue. I wish for both of us that it was different.”

I heard the front door open. I held Marg’s hand but she pulled away from me and left the room.

Cherie made the announcement that night and Marg and Cherie moved out at the end of the week.

A week later Gay came to me and told me that she had taken a job in the city. She told me as she hugged me so that I could not see her face or eyes.

“I’m going to miss our times together, Goyse. You have given me some of the best times that I have ever had and definitely the most enjoyable sex.”

“You don’t have to do this, Gay. You could still stay here and travel on the train to the city.”

“No, I’m keeping you away from your wife. You have a decision to make. Either you send her away for good or you take her back to your bedroom. I think you will take her back to your bedroom and I have no right to stand in your way.”

“You’re not standing in my way. I have told her repeatedly that my bedroom is off limits.”

“Yes, I know that you tell her that but that’s not what’s in your heart. I know that you spend hours at night trying to push it aside. The solution is not in a whiskey bottle. The solution is here.” She pointed at my heart.

“I don’t want to lose you, Gay.”

“You won’t lose me. I’ll always be around and we will always be good mates. When she hurts you the next time and she will, my door will be open.”

What could I say? I knew that logic told me to stay clear of my wife, Sue but logic doesn’t always apply to matters of the heart. Gay was intuitive enough to understand that simple fact, a fact that had until now escaped me. I had an addiction. That addiction was my attraction to my wife, Sue. That addition was damaging me but to try and break that addiction I was developing another which was much more damaging, an addiction to alcohol.

I had seen and dealt with other peoples addictions before. I had heard the councillors dealing with addicts ask the question, “What is your drug of preference?” The theory was that if you can’t have the substance of your preference than you fall back onto something else. It seemed that I had now identified my drug of preference. It was my attraction to my wife. I had tried repeatedly to replace her with other women. The sex had been wonderful but something had always been missing. I had tried to replace her with alcohol but no amount of alcohol took away the pain. For whatever reason or reasons that I could not understand, I was hooked. What could I say?

“Thanks, Gay. I appreciate that.”

Gay fixed her makeup and we went back to join the others.

Two weeks later, Sue, the kids and I were the only ones left in the big house. That night while I was having a shower to get ready for bed, Sue quietly entered my bedroom and slipped under the covers. I had switched off the lights and didn’t notice her there until she spoke.

“Fuck me,” was all she said as she rolled over on top of me. She was nude. I had got into the habit of sleeping nude waiting for Gay to join me. Sue’s body fitted neatly into mine and my cock lined up with her just as if our bodies had been built for each other. I couldn’t resist. Other than my kids the people that I cared most about in the world had moved on. It had weakened me to the extent that I could not resist. 

Within half a minute of her sliding her pussy up against my half erect phallus, I was fully erect. She was wet, very wet. I noticed she felt very different. In the past when I had become erect I had slid right into her without any effort but now she was tight. How could that be?

“Do you like my new pussy?”

“What do you mean, new pussy?”

 “The doctor fixed it for you.”

“Fixed it for me?”

“You’ve always liked tight pussy. I saw you with Lyn that time and she did things for you that I never could. I decided that if I ever had the chance I would make mine just as tight as Lyn’s, just for you. I talked to the doctor who attended me when we lost our baby and he sent me to a surgeon who fixed it for me. I want to give you what Marg, Lyn, Debbie and Gloria gave you. I want you to love sex with me the same way you did with them.”

“We’ve always had good sex. Sex for me has never been our problem. The only problem that we have ever had is that you prefer other men.”

“No, that’s wrong. I have never preferred other men. It’s just that I have to have them.”

“You really believe that, don’t you?”

“It’s the way it is. I don’t choose to be like this. It’s the way I am.” Sue just looked at me waiting for me to reply but I said nothing and just looked back at her. After a while, she continued, “I know you pretend to hate it but I know that you actually enjoy it. It makes you horny. You get turned on by it.”

“No, I don’t. It sickens me and I feel disgusted by the thought of you being with other men.”

“That’s what you say but I know different. Every time that I came home and you knew that I’ve been used you got turned on.” Once again she stopped talking and just looked at me then after a short time she continued. “You get so turned on by the thought of it that you can’t even last more than a minute after you enter me after another man has used me. You can’t deny it because you can’t even control yourself if I tell you about someone that I’ve been with.”

“I don’t deny that it affects me sexually but you need to understand that I don’t like it. In fact, I hate even the thought of it. You, for some reason, think that if something has a sexual impact on someone then that person likes it but that’s not the way it is at all.”

“I don’t want to argue with you, Goyse. I know what I say is true but if you can’t accept that then perhaps we shouldn’t talk about it. Now make love to me.”

“I want to look at you. Do you mind?”

“I did it for you so of course, you can look at me. I’m your wife you can look at me anytime that you choose.”

 I rolled Sue onto her back and then slowly slid down along her body while maintaining her in my gaze. She raised her head slightly to watch me. Once my face was south of her pussy I switched my sight to her crotch. There looking at me was an exact copy of Lyn’s pussy minus the scattered blond wisps of hair. The clitoris, of course, was not as pronounced as Lyn’s but otherwise, it could be a shaved version of Lyn’s pussy.

I may have appeared to be mesmerized if someone was watching me and someone was. My spell was broken by her voice. “You like what you see?”

“Ahh, What?”

“Do you like it?”

“It’s different. Quite different from what I thought it would be like.”

“You recognize it then?”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you recognize who it looks like?”

“No, Should I?” I lied.

 “I gave the surgeon a photo of Lyn’s pussy. You once told me that Marg’s pussy looked a lot like Lyn’s. If I had a photo of hers I would have given it to the surgeon.”

 “Why would you do that? It sounds sick to me.”

 “I want you to have everything that you want. I can’t be Marg but I can have her pussy or at least one that looks like it.”

“I don’t know what to say? You’re a sick fucker.”

“Yep, aren’t I. Don’t say anything, just lick me.”

I felt her hands pulling me into her pussy. I could smell that familiar odour. Her pussy may look like Lyn’s but she definitely didn’t smell like her. I ran my tongue along her crack and immediately recognized the taste of my wife, not at all like the sweet taste of Lyn or Marg for that matter. I actually felt relieved. I guess nothing would have surprised me by this time. I wondered how physiologically disturbed she must have been to take such crazy action. Did she actually believe that my attraction to Marg revolved around the look of her pussy?

She very quickly became wet, very wet. I moved up along her body and as I did so she guided me into her. Entry was tight but once penetrated her internals were still loose. She might look like Lyn and Marg but she most certainly didn’t feel like them.

“Christ,” I thought, “she has me comparing her to Marg now.” She was my wife and I needed to remember that I was making love to my wife who should be the most important person in my life other than my children. Here I was comparing having sex with her with having sex with a former lover.

I had not had sex for over a week and I knew that it would be over very quickly and it was. As I ejaculated she pulled me in close and whispered in my ear.

“You like my new pussy, don’t you. You came so quickly you must really like it.”

“Hhhmm, Its good,” I lied knowing that the real thing will always be better than anything that any surgeon could produce but I simply didn’t want the problems that came with telling her she had wasted her time and money.

We laid down together and drifted off to sleep. In the morning I awoke to find she was up and shortly later she appeared in the doorway with two coffees. We drank them together saying very little of value.

This was the period of makeup that all marriages that have been on the rocks require. It’s a period where nothing of value is discussed but the participants know that there are important issues that have to be addressed. By ignoring them both hope that they will go away without being addressed. Both of us knew that sooner or later we had to address those issues but each of us hoped the other would be the person to start the ball rolling.

Eventually, I looked at the clock and said, “I have to get ready for work.”

I showered, got dressed, kissed her as if nothing untoward had happened and left for work.

As I drove down the street I felt that I had just escaped from a raging disaster. How big of a disaster I had yet to find out.