Topic Tex Drifter's Hotline
12 Jun 2014 14:10
I have a problem. You see, I like to write fun little stories about some of my rompings, and then I share them with people. However, I recently came up with a little tale for fun to enter in a competition. However, since its a different style then I typically write, my readers seem to have shunned it. What can I do to get my readership back?
Lost the Love
Dear Brain Fart,
First of all, thank you so much for listening and being a supporter of the show. Also, I deeply appreciate you having the courage to be the first to come forward with a REAL problem.
I know I skipped a few posts to answer this one right away (don’t worry, I’ll get to ‘em) but I will always move anything I think might be a serious concern for someone to the top of the stack. I know, it ain’t like you’re really sitting on pins and needles waiting for a fuckin’ clown to give ya advice, but I figure if you come to me with a real problem, the least I can do is get back to you as quickly as possible with a real answer. So, here’s what I think…
From what I gather, you’ve entered a writing competition here on Lush and decided to move out of your comfort zone a little and write something different right? I get it. We all get bored with writing the same old shit now and then. It’s good to push yourself into something new.
Problem is, now your faithful fans, avid readers, and fantasy friends have all left you high and dry on this new genre. Just when you need their support the most, they bail on ya right? I get it. And I think I have a clue what the problem is.
See, you’re a good writer, but also kind of a fuckin’ dumb-ass. Never really noticed it before, but seriously girl, how DO you dye those roots brown? Maybe you just made the age-old female mistake of holding a fart. The damned thing crawled up your spine, curled up in your silly little brain, and turned into a shitty idea.
You have a semi-established fan-base/readership of mostly heterosexual males, right? What isn’t heterosexual males is mostly heterosexual and bi-curious females. Still following my math here? Finally, you probably have a handful of lesbian friends and fans. Wanna know what heterosexual males, heterosexual females, bisexual females, and lesbians ALL have in common? They DON’T GIVE A FUCK about sweaty, hairy-assed, dude on dude sex.
I can only assume you are posing this problem over your new story, ‘Flat Out’. And although I commend you on branching out and challenging yourself by writing a gay male story, I have to say it was a dumb-shit move to do it for the competition. Just not gonna get much interest outta your fabulous faithful.
I’m ashamed to admit that I myself put the notification in my “to do” folder and the fact that it’s a gay male story keeps pushing it to the bottom of my priority list. Shouldn’t be that way, but hey, it’s true. I am sorry, and I will read and score and comment on it before the week is out. I apologize for my shallowness.
Now, before you start hollering homophobe, I want you to know nothing could be further from the truth. Fact is, I’m not afraid of music, but I don’t sit around reading stereo instructions either. Just not interested. I would bet my right nut (least favorite) that the majority of your followers are in the same boat. Not offended or disenchanted…just indifferent to that particular story. I should also point out that one of my best friends on the planet is a lesbian and I also have a token gay male friend just to balance my world against the fuckin’ Politically Correct Police. Actually that’s a lie. I don’t give a fuck about the PCPD, I just dig my friends because they are fun people to be around and are genuinely good people.
So, if any clamdiggers or booty pirates are listening out there, save the fuckin’ hate mail. I don’t give two shits who you pick, lick, or stick. There is nothing on this planet more interesting to me than my own orgasm and nothing less interesting than yours or how you get it. Have fun, be safe, and send the shitty emails to someone who deserves them, might open them, and has a chance of giving a fuck about your little hissy fit tantrum.
Back to Dirty_D’s dirty disaster. My problem with your story isn’t that it’s a fag story. It’s that you didn’t have the foresight to realize it wasn’t a good time to go that direction for a competition. Not if you wanted to get enough votes to win. If you keep writing in that genre and develop a following, who knows? Might win a comp with a queer romp, but until then you prolly won’t get much help from your current followers.
Don’t sweat it kiddo. Your faithful few will come back in droves as soon as you post something more along the lines of what they’re used to. Preferably something with “Fuck” in the title and tagged with anal, first time, and filthy slut. Your celebrity will be resumed without the slightest blemish. I actually have no idea what your norm really is, but I thought I’d just spitball ya a few tried and trues.
Now, as I said before, it was a ballsy move to write a gay male story in the first place, much less enter it in a competition. I appreciate and commend the courage. I’d like to help any way I can and I’ll start by saying this…
Dear everyone listening, watching, reading, or creeping this thread,
I have a favor to ask. If you think this silly little experiment called ‘Tex Drifter’s Hotline’ is a worthwhile form of entertainment, please do me a solid and use the following link to go to Dirty_D’s competition story, ‘Flat Out’ and give it a read and a score .It’d be really nice if you comment and let her know what you think too, but at least score it.
Get the fuck over your silly hang-ups about sweaty-gross mansex (skim over it if you have to) and just read the story with an eye toward writing style and story development. I’m not saying give her a buncha token 5’s. Give her an honest score on the job she did writing the story. I haven’t read it yet either so I’ll be doing the same thing.
It is a lotta work to write a story for Lush (gotta bring you’re A game because there are a lot of good writers here) and it’s very disappointing when you spend the time and effort and no one even gives your work a fair chance. I’d like to see if the folks on this thread can make a difference for her. Ok, part of it is I’d like to see if anyone out there is actually reading this shit.
Basically, my advice to you, Dirty, is this: Any time you feel the urge to veer away from your readers’ comfort zone and branch out into uncharted territory, by all means do it!!! It will make you a better writer and give you a sense of accomplishment. Just don’t do it on a competition. You’ll most likely be disappointed in the outcome.
I truly hope this has helped, and I hope you’ll let me know if you get any nibbles from the tens of fans I have lurking around. If not, I might wanna consider wasting my time on some other hair-brained idea. Thank you again for posting something a little more serious, and as always, thanks for playin’ along.
P.S. All you fucktarded asshats that didn’t click on the link the first time and give the fag story a fair read, go do it now…purty please.