Forum posts made by the_young_swell

Topic What is your elf name?
Posted 28 Nov 2013 15:15

Merry Pickle-Pants Fugly

So what is this thing against people born in September?

You think getting stuck with being a Virgo isn't sufficiently traumatizing?

Topic This commercial is so funny..
Posted 08 Jun 2013 11:25

Previous generations developed the “Whoopee Cushion,” predicated upon embarrassing others by producing the sound of flatulence when the cushion was sat upon. Contemporary devices are portable, and are meant to be set off by the jokester him/herself, thereby making him/her the butt, so to speak, of his/her own practical joke.

There's a thesis for a research paper on societal acceptance of flatulence, possibly all bodily functions, lurking in there somewhere, but one would most likely have to use it to wipe up after all the research.

Topic Don't try this at home kids!
Posted 31 May 2013 10:22

See what I mean, ten minute search ...

Topic Don't try this at home kids!
Posted 31 May 2013 10:16

I don't wish to be a spoilsport, but before anyone posts that old one about Richard Gere and the gerbil ....

Topic This guy fucking loves his car!
Posted 27 May 2013 13:22

This lad may well be a relative to the ginger-hackled terrorist who received third-degree burns to his lips while trying to blow up a politician's car.


Topic What if real people delivered SPAM to your life?
Posted 23 May 2013 16:03

As this is a writing site, GingerKitty, I like to post something every now and then which requires literacy.

And I'm not a Mr. I'm a The.

Topic What if real people delivered SPAM to your life?
Posted 22 May 2013 12:25 Referral.jpg

Man: What you got?

Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg, sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg, bacon and spam; egg, bacon, sausage and spam; spam, bacon, sausage and spam; spam, egg, spam, spam, bacon and spam; spam, sausage, spam, spam, spam, bacon, spam, tomato and spam; spam, spam, spam, egg and spam; spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam and spam.

Wife: Have you got anything without spam?

Waitress: Well, there's spam, egg, sausage and spam. That's not got much spam in it.

Wife: I don't want any spam!

Man: Why can't she have egg, bacon, spam and sausage?

Wife: That's got spam in it.

Man: It hasn't got as much spam in it as spam, egg, sausage and spam has it?

Wife: Could you do me egg, bacon, spam and sausage without the spam then?

Waitress: Ech!

Wife: What do you mean ech! I don't like spam!

Waitress: You can't have egg, bacon spam and sausage without the spam.

Wife: I don't like spam!

Man: Shhh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your spam. I love it. I'm having spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam and spam.

Waitress: Shut up! Baked beans are off.

Man: Well, can I have her spam instead of the baked beans?

Waitress: You mean spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, and spam?

Poster's Note: I removed the Vikings, no one wants Vikings with their spam.

Topic Skittles Advert
Posted 01 May 2013 11:44

This is hilarious. But did they honestly think this would make the Super Bowl?

I have concluded that several of the edgier advertising agencies are creating on-line ads, purporting to be television commercials, which they know are beyond the pale for broadcast TV. These generate notoriety, so people purposefully search out the ads on YouTube, etc. and expose themselves to the sponsor's message. The sponsor pays only for the agency's efforts producing the ads, not the bigger expense of buying blocks of television time in which to air the commercials.

Everybody wins except the broadcasting companies.

Topic Roses are Red
Posted 16 Mar 2013 13:24

Roses are red,
But cactus are prickly.
One tastes rather tangy,
The other is squickly.


Topic Roses are Red
Posted 05 Mar 2013 13:25

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
If you won't take my flowers,
I'll just chew on my bone.

Topic Use My Last Word First - in a 5 word sentence..
Posted 05 Mar 2013 13:11

"Me, fa, so," sing I.

Topic Stop the gun bans! Rant Three
Posted 05 Mar 2013 12:41


Perhaps the reason why "hoistery" keeps repeating itself is because every time someone makes an intelligent attempt at correcting the problem, fellows like you go off like a bunch of "petards."

Topic Roses are Red
Posted 27 Feb 2013 21:57

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
If you're buying drinks
I'm a Lush for you.


Topic Oreo cookie modifiier
Posted 27 Feb 2013 14:51

Somewhere the shade of Rube Goldberg is smiling.

Topic Do the Harlem Shake
Posted 27 Feb 2013 10:07

A trifle harsh, perhaps, but I've had days like that. violent1

Topic Top 10 Comedy Movies
Posted 25 Feb 2013 20:44

Picking just ten is a problem, but chronologically:

A Night at the Opera - Marx Brothers (1935)
Ball of Fire - Barbara Stanwyck & Gary Cooper (1941)
Kiss Them for Me - Cary Grant & Jayne Mansfield (1957)
Some Like It Hot - Marilyn Monroe, Tony Curtis & Jack Lemmon (1959)
Dr. Strangelove - Peter Sellers & George C. Scott (1964)
A New Leaf - Walter Matthau & Elaine May (1971)
Silver Streak - Gene Wilder, Jill Clayburgh & Richard Pryor (1976)
Uncle Buck - John Candy & Macaulay Culkin (1989)
Groundhog Day - Bill Murray & Andie MacDowell (1993)
Idiocracy - Luke Wilson & Maya Rudolph (2006)

Topic Roses are Red
Posted 25 Feb 2013 18:02

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
The garden is frozen.
No flowers for you.

Topic Celebrity or Historical Figure Sex
Posted 25 Feb 2013 17:55

EllaFitz points out one problem with historical figures. Another would be that we only know of their personal lives what they, their supporters, or their enemies left behind in reports, and precious little of that can be depended upon as truthful.

Nonetheless, I think I should have enjoyed having a go at Good Queen Bess — I mean before Elizabeth became a professional virgin, lost her hair and all that. I like strong-willed women, even if they are a little hot at hand. H o w e v e r , I should also require a handy egress, as I don’t think I should have enjoyed being bunged up in the Tower of London , over much.

Topic Roses are Red
Posted 25 Dec 2012 15:33

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Gardenia’s are edible
And so are you.

Topic Where are all the aliens?
Posted 24 Dec 2012 00:30

I probably should stay out of the deep dish philosophical discussions that go on here in The Think Tank.

Topic Roses are Red
Posted 17 Dec 2012 20:33

Variation on a Theme by Trinket

Rose are shut the fuck up,
Violets are fuck the shut up,
Fuck up the shut.
Shut fuck the up.

Topic Remember the 80's?
Posted 02 Dec 2012 14:01

I think the best thing in the 80's was when Ronald Reagan was President. Now that was a man who didn't take shit from anyone.

No, no! Surely you remember Ronald Reagan. He played bass guitar in The Fraggle Rock band. At least, he did until he could no longer recall the cords

Topic Roses are Red
Posted 26 Oct 2012 19:11

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
We won’t go to bed.
‘Cause you don’t need the flu.

Topic Roses are Red
Posted 07 Oct 2012 21:40

Roses are red
Mashugana flowers.
I gave her a dozen
And she came for hours.

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 03 Aug 2012 19:29 Toss Goalie.gif

My Olympic participation is being kept to a minimum this time around. It's just too exhausting after my vacation.

However, if any of the pole girls decide to start a ring-toss competition, I'm willing to lie on my back and play goal.

Topic 40 of the most powerful photos ever taken.
Posted 02 Aug 2012 17:41

Rather than Marc Riboud's photograph " La Jeune Fille a la Fleur ," I would have chosen Bernie Boston's 1967 Pulitzer Prize photograph " Flower Power " as the more moving confrontation between armed police and 1960s war protesters.

Topic RUMPLATIONS: Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Posted 31 Jul 2012 15:39

Just back from three weeks in cottage country where I was almost completely unplugged from the world-wide weave. While I haven’t actually caught up on what all has been happening at RUMPLATIONS while I’ve been gone, merely casting my eye over the backlog assures me that there has been a definite lack of loud, thumping music.

So, here it is:

Topic Roses are Red
Posted 14 Jul 2012 16:55

A rose is a rose,
Queen Anne’s Lace, wild carrot.
If I were a poet
I’d stave in a garret.

Topic I lift my lamp beside the golden door.
Posted 14 Jul 2012 16:36

Anti-immigrant fever occasionally does push the legislature too far, and then the electorate runs afoul of the law of unintended consequences.

For example, last year Georgia passed harsh immigration laws intended to chase illegal immigrants out of the stat of Georgia. Unfortunately for Georgia's farmers, the laws worked, chasing illegal immigrants out of the state of Georgia.

See Jay Bookman’s Blog from The Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Topic Alphabet Songs (A-Z)
Posted 04 Jul 2012 18:44

Runaround Sue - Dion DiMucci