I've enjoyed writing for years, and recently decided to try my hand at erotic fiction. After searching far and wide across the internet, I found Lush and found a consistency of quality and seriousness of submission that I decided to publish my work here.
What do I like to write? Anything, but predominantly things with a humorous bent, or post-modern insanity. Or surrealism. Strangeness in general. That said, I've found that despite my man attempts at strangeness, I'm always invariably outstripped by reality.
I derive the name "Troublesome Bard" from there being a common pick-up line used predominantly by cretins on dating applications summarized as 'you look like trouble.' Well, I don't look it, in fact I look pretty generic, but don't let that fool you, I can be quite a lot of trouble. Bard is just me being a writer who uses humor.
Some of my signatures in my writing are the following: 1. Strange beverages, often involving coffee. 2. Weather, good for establishing setting. 3. River's End University, a fictional university inspired by the one I went to. 4. Humor, because life's too short to take too seriously.
Anything else? Well feel free to ask, I don't hide much, but you have to open the book before you can read it.
Interests Reading, writing, experimentation, Going on long walks or bike rides and letting my mind drift to wherever the world takes me.
Favorite Books Cavalier and Clay, Spy Who Came in from the Cold, the Quarry series, Crytonomicon amongst others. I seldom leave home without a book, and spend huge amounts of time reading or listening to audiobooks, but I guess those are some of the top I can go with now.
Also, currently hooked on Hard Case Crime as a publisher.
Favorite Authors Michael Chabon, Neal Stephenson, Max Allan Collins, Kazuo Ichiguro, Edgar Rice Burroghs, Jonathan Letham, Donald Westlake again hard to pick.
Favorite Movies Probably Duck Soup, Blazing Saddles and Rashamon are my top 3. Kurosawa and Brooks are two of my favorite directors and the Marx brothers can practically do no wrong by me, but I watch a lot of movies. I also love any Ramen Western (Tampopo, Assassination, Good Bad Weird) Korean action movies, John Carpenter, pretty much anything featuring Charles Bronson, anything directed by Joon-ho Bong, most things from Tarantino, Guillermo del Toro or David Lynch.
Favorite TV Shows The Prisoner (1967) Twin Peaks (all of it) Tales from the Crypt, The Avengers (1961), amongst others. I don't watch much television.
Favorite Music I listen to almost exclusively electric guitar driven rock, jazz and classical. For the breadth of genres and styles I cover in movies and books, I have a surprisingly small comfort zone when it comes to music.
A scene from every slasher movie ever gets turned on its head.
The blood called out to me. Two foolish youths made the mistake of trespassing on my hunting grounds. No doubt hoping for a private Valentine's Day amorous retreat to the woods. I could hear their laughter and plans before they parked, then as they walked...
Emperor Thrinklebopple of USA takes an Empress and they have sex. You gonna eat that burger?
The Tale of Emperor Wallace Thrinklebopple The weather was warm and the sky was clear as an unmarked white van drove into the town square. A figure emerged from the driver's side; he was dressed in an opulent uniform consisting of a blue blazer and slacks...
City woman attends a festival at a ghost town, and finds herself part of a graveyard orgy
Visible steam rose from a porcelain cup of coffee as Chloe tried to sip at it, burning her tongue in the process. She got her coffee first, while her friend, Sylvia got an iced-mocha-chai-latte with almond milk. Chloe hated when people ordered that, it ma...
