Have you ever done something totally random, and then a few months or years later realize that it incomprehensibly changed your life? I’ve always thought there should be a word for the feeling that encompasses this revelation. Maybe by the end of this story, you can help me come up with the right word.

My wife and I were laying in bed. It was a Sunday. Our sixteenth wedding anniversary was in less than a month and we were trying to figure out our plans.

At the time, I was forty-two years old and my wife had just turned forty. Our only daughter moved upstate to attend college about two months prior. Looking back, both my wife and I were at a transition in life - one we hadn’t prepared for mentally or emotionally.

My wife, Laura, reached over and lightly ran her fingers along my sideburns.

“Your hair is starting to turn gray.”

My heart dropped and the feeling of fear surprised me. “Well, I guess I’m lucky that I made it to my forties. A work, half the men my age are bald.”

“I like it.” Laura paused. “I’m showing my age too. Do you still find me attractive?”

I lovingly touched my wife’s hand, “Of course I do!”

Pulling away her hand, Laura said, “Our sex life could be better.”

“Now that Lisa’s in college, we can work on rekindling the old flame.”

Laura looked into my eyes. “When you’re dressed in your suit, I see women checking you out. Do you think other people still find me attractive?”

The question made me feel defensive. “Does it matter?”

“It does to me.”

The conversation drifted back to anniversary plans before circling back to whether or not we were still attractive to the opposite sex.

Laura pulled out her phone and said, “I have an idea. Let’s start our own Tinder accounts and see what kind of responses we get.”

Confused, I said, “You want to sleep with other men?”

“No! We can see who responds and share the results with one another. Maybe knowing other people find us attractive will light a spark in our love life.”

While I wasn’t a big fan of my wife’s idea, I agreed to it. It was obvious that Laura didn’t feel attractive and I immediately blamed myself for not showing her enough attention and affection. Perhaps I'd gotten comfortable in my routine and had been taking our marriage for granted.

We helped each other set up our Tinder accounts and I have to admit that it was a turn-on. We took sexy photos of one another and came up with silly one-liners for our profiles. Both of us clearly stated we were married. We also promised one another that we would only communicate with our matches when we were together.

“No secrets!” We said it together with a pinky swear.

Within minutes, my wife had over a dozen matches, many of them from men half her age. She swiped right on some of them and immediately received some messages. Many of the responses were overtly sexual but some were actually quite friendly.

The effect on her mood was immediate. Her face lit up as she read her messages, which lead to some of the best sex we’d had in years.

Throughout the following week, I made sure to compliment Laura and show her lots of affection. We ended up having sex almost every night and it was good.

I never once thought about my Tinder profile. Then another lazy Sunday rolled around.

We were sitting on our living room sofa when Laura cuddled next to me and said, “Let’s check our Tinder profiles.”

Laura had accumulated over 100 different matches. They ranged from eighteen to sixty years old.

I said, “You’re popular,” and Laura smiled.

“Check yours!”

My profile only had one match. A thirty-three-year-old woman named Delilah. She lived relatively nearby. Her profile said she was an interior designer, and included a handful of photos. Delilah was incredibly attractive. Long straight black hair, piercing blue eyes, tall and fit. In all of her photos, she looked sophisticated yet fun, with a magnificent smile and dimples that made her look more like a woman in her mid-twenties.

Not only were Delilah and I a match, but she also liked my profile.

Laura seemed almost surprised. “Wow, Nick, she’s beautiful!”

There was also a hint of jealousy in her voice.

My wife’s reaction irritated me. It was as if she expected that any woman interested in my profile would be older or unattractive - if anyone was interested at all.

I said, "Before we created these Tinder accounts, you said yourself that you saw women checking me out when I was dressed up in my suit, and now you're surprised?"

Laura sensed that she'd hurt my feelings. “Oh, I’m sorry, honey. I didn’t mean it that way! Swipe right and send her a message.”

My irritation seemed justified because even though I didn’t want to message Delilah, my wife insisted. It was as if she was trying to make herself feel better for looking down on me.

In an effort to move on, I messaged Delilah.

“Hello. I see you liked my profile. To be clear and upfront, I am a married man using Tinder to have some fun with my wife. We are rekindling our relationship by meeting some other people for conversations but we aren’t interested in meeting anyone in person. If you’re okay with all of this, message me. You’re an attractive woman and maybe we have some similar interests to talk about.”

Laura and I spent the next five minutes reading her message threads. One was between her and a man who lived across town that wanted to take her on a vacation to Brazil. Another was from an eighteen-year-old “actor” who was also a self-proclaimed cunnilingus expert. Laura’s responses were flirty but honest but it was hard for me to get into the vibe because I was still upset about her reaction to Delilah’s interest in me.

Then my phone notification went off. Delilah had responded to my message.

Still surprised, my wife said, “That was quick.”

“Hi, Nick! So nice to meet you (and your wife). I’m single but I joined Tinder to make connections so I’m comfortable honoring your boundaries. It’s refreshing to meet such a handsome man who also happens to be loyal and faithful. Tell me more about yourself. And let me know if it’s okay to share photos. - Delilah”

After reading the message, Laura said, “Oh, she wants to share photos.” She said it like she'd solved some great mystery.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Well, Nick, honey, she’s obviously an escort or has an Only Fans or something.”

My indignation was growing, even though I knew my wife was probably right. Even worse, I started wondering whether I was past my prime. I mean, if my wife found it so hard to believe another woman would find me attractive, did she still find me attractive?

My mind spinning, I lashed out and said, “Is it so hard to believe that an attractive younger woman would be interested in me?”

“No. Don’t be like that. You’re attractive for your age…”

“For my age?”

“You know what I mean. Go ahead and send her a photo and see what happens. I’m okay with it.”

Angry, I scrolled through the photos on my phone until I found one from a business meeting where I was dressed in my nicest suit. It was a good photo of me, showing off the fact that I’m fit and still have a full head of hair, even if it is starting to turn gray.

I sent it to Delilah with a message, “So nice to meet you, Delilah. I love your name. I’m a contractor working all over Central Florida. On the weekends I like to spend time outdoors, especially at the beach or fishing in my boat. My wife and I are okay with sharing photos… Here is a recent one of me from a business meeting. I can’t wait to see what you send me! ;)”

The winking emoji was my wife’s idea.

Delilah returned my message in less than three minutes. As I opened the app, my wife had a smug look on her face, obviously believing that I was about to get a sales pitch.

The first thing we looked at was the photo included with the message. Delilah was dressed in a sexy black strapless dress with matching high heels, her long black hair falling over her bare shoulders. She was simply elegant, standing in front of a doorway that was likely the entrance to a ballroom or fancy theater.

I read Delilah’s message out loud, “Thanks for the photo, Nick! Your wife is one lucky woman. You are so handsome in that suit… and tall… I ADORE tall men. The photo of me is from a recent trip downtown to see the Russian ballet. I love the theater and the arts. I also love the outdoors, and I don’t look too bad in a bikini. ;)”

Now my wife suddenly seemed upset. “I don’t want you messaging her.”

“Why? You’re messaging no less than a dozen men and now you’re mad because one woman is showing some interest?”

“She didn't even acknowledge you were married. And I’m still not convinced she isn’t an escort.”

“Bullshit.”

Laura crossed her arms, “Fine! You do what you want with your new girlfriend.”

The outburst made me laugh out loud. As a result, Laura gave me the cold shoulder for the rest of the day.

Meanwhile, I kept messaging back and forth with Delilah. Even though I knew I was bending the rules, I felt justified, mostly because it was obvious that Laura cared more about her own feelings than mine. In my mind, I kept hearing my wife say, “... do what you want with your girlfriend,” so that’s exactly what I did.

Delilah and I messaged back and forth throughout the day, and we quickly started sharing intimate details about our lives. She was recently divorced and didn't want to get into any serious relationships. We shared similar views about the world and spirituality. Delilah was quick-witted and had a great sense of humor, independent, and flirty in a fun way that made me smile.

Her attention made me feel really good about myself. I felt attractive and intelligent. The conversation was sometimes light and sometimes profound. I found myself fantasizing about what it would be like to meet Delilah. Would she look and act the same in person? What did her voice and her laugh sound like?

Would Delilah believe another woman could find me attractive?

Around mid-afternoon, we started overtly flirting. Delilah sent me a photo of her wearing a tiny red bikini. Her body was perfect. Looking at the photo made me instantly horny. To make messaging easier, we exchanged private numbers and started texting one another. Then our text messages became overtly sexual.

In one text, Delilah sent me a nude photo, her long hair concealing her nipples and her hand covering her vulva, but all of her delicious curves were on full display. The accompanying message read, “I’m a very sexual person but the men in life always say I’m too intense, including my ex. Which is fine. I’m selective about my partners and I’m demanding because I know what I like and what I want. Men are intimidated by women like me. Nick, I want to masturbate. Will you send me a photo of your cock? I want to fantasize about you if it's okay. I promise to return the courtesy in kind.”

Taking the photo was easy because my cock was already rock-hard. I sent it to Delilah with the message, “This is me after seeing the photo you sent me. Mind if I join you?”

Delilah’s response was immediate. The photo was a closeup of her index finger a few inches above her pussy, a line of thick clear fluid connecting the two. Her message read, “If you’re doing this to me already, imagine what you would do to me in person…. Masturbate with me, Nick.”

For the next thirty minutes, Delilah and I shared photos and messages as we brought ourselves to orgasm. In one photo, Delilah’s finger was between her full lips, tasting her juices. I sent her a photo of me spreading pre-cum all over the head of my cock.

We agreed to take a short video when we orgasmed. Mine was a closeup of my cock muscles involuntarily flexing as thick streams of cum shot straight up into the air. Delilah’s video showed her thighs shaking as she massaged her clit until white fluid started leaking out of her juice box.

It was the hottest sexual experience of my life.

Later that night, Laura and I were laying in bed reading when she finally began talking to me again.

“Nick, I’m sorry about today. You’ve been a good sport about the Tinder idea, and it has spiced up our sex life, but I acted like a bitch. Of course, that woman would find you attractive because you are attractive.”

Laura’s comments were actually a relief because I felt like I’d cheated on her. She suggested we take a break from the Tinder app for at least a week and I agreed that it was a good idea.

We ended up making love and even though the thought crossed my mind, I didn’t make believe that Laura was Delilah. Before we fell asleep, Laura asked, “Did you message with Delilah anymore today? It’s okay if you did, I’m just wondering.”

“No.”

It was the first time in sixteen years of marriage that I blatantly lied to my wife.

When I woke the following morning, I had three messages from Delilah. It wasn't an easy decision but I immediately deleted them from my phone along with our texts from the day before. I figured that if I ignored her, Delilah would get the idea.

While my wife was in the shower, her phone started buzzing. Wondering whether she was getting an important message from Hospice where she works as a caregiver, I looked to see who was messaging her. It turned out that the messages were from her Tinder app. My wife had messaged a man named Gary three times in the past hour, while I was still asleep.

Needless to say, I was furious. In less than eight hours, Laura had already violated our agreement. When she got out of the shower, I confronted her.

Showing her the phone, I said, “What the hell is this?”

Laura was defensive. “Why are you spying on me?”

“Your phone was blowing up. I thought you were getting a call from Hospice.”

Laura softened her tone. “Nick, I’m sorry. I was going to tell Gary to stop messaging me but I guess part of me was still enjoying the attention. I didn’t mean to lie to you.”

My wife’s words made me realize that I’d also lied to her and it made me feel guilty. “Well, goddamnit, Laura, what do you want me to say?”

My wife picked up her phone and started pressing buttons, “Look. I’m deleting the app right now. There. It’s done. I’m sorry, Nick.”

Even though I was still frustrated, I figured we were even. I said, “Okay, apology accepted.”

Later that night, while my wife was in the kitchen eating a snack, I pulled her phone out of her purse and checked to see if she actually deleted the Tinder app. When I saw it was gone, I felt a wave of relief.

For good measure, I checked her text messages. The first message on the list was from Gary. It was part of a thread containing around thirty messages. The last message read, “Don’t worry. I have to be discreet too because of my wife. If we only text message each other, it’s not cheating anyway. Like you, I just need some emotional support from someone. I’m so glad we found each other.”

My heart sank. Then I felt fury rising from my stomach and into my face. My cheeks turned red. My mind was racing and I was suddenly consumed by an overwhelming desire for revenge. I wanted my wife to feel the same emotional betrayal that I was feeling. I wanted to hurt her, and in that moment I knew that my future actions were going to catapult us toward that dark finish line.

The thought made me flash a wicked smile of righteous indignation.

I put Laura’s phone back in her purse and pulled mine out of my pocket, immediately messaging Delilah, “Hey, I’m sorry but I’ve been having trouble with my phone today. Can you resend the three messages you sent me last night? I’m dying to see them.”

In less than a minute, my phone responded with three buzzes. The first message was a photo of Delilah dressed in sexy black lingerie - a black bra with matching thigh-high stockings and heels and no panties. It read, “I took this photo for you and only you. Do you like?”

The second was a closeup of Delilah using two fingers to spread her labia, revealing the full glory of her glovebox. It read, “I want to feel you in here.”

The third message didn’t include a photo. All Delilah messaged was, “Nick, I feel like we have some kind of rare connection. Would it break any of your rules if we talked on the phone sometime?”

If my wife was going to break the rules, there was no reason for me to obey them. I messaged back, “You are a gorgeous woman. Thank you for the amazing photos. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

Coming Soon... Part 2 - The Fire that Destroys the Flame