"Did you remember to pick up the drain brush?"
Of course you did; how could you not? Natasha's been nagging you about it for three days now.
"Well it's not my fault the bath is clogged. Blame Yyvnn; it's her feathers that keep jamming the damn thing."
Yyvnn wasn't the one that's been using the bath plughole as a personal biohazard disposal chute.
"Okay first off, they're not biohazards; just some failed alkahests. I thought it might dissolve all the feathers."
And what did it do instead...?
"... solidified in the pipes."
... Exactly.
"Just please have it fixed when I get back this evening, honey! I promise I'll love you forever!"
You roll your eyes as you bid farewell to Natasha and end the call.
One issue about hosting a budding alchemist in your home was dealing with the fallout of their failed experiments, and the Succubus' 'alkahest' mishap was just another item on the ever-increasing list of problems that needed to be solved. Since Yyvnn arrived, you've been rushed off your feet with all kinds of technical and mechanical problems around the house, mostly stemming from your boarders' lack of technological experience. Just last night Muu - whom you thought was fairly used to electronics, given her aptitude with kitchen appliances - was startled by a late call on the main house telephone, which drove her into an inconsolable state of panic.
You thought you'd be dealing with demonic country bumpkins, but this was just ridiculous.
Sighing, you shake your head and look around the hardware store. After grabbing the drain brush, you shopped around for some basic odds and ends before grabbing the final item on your list; roofing nails. That last storm took off some of the roof tiles a few nights ago, and you've been meaning to get around to dealing with it.
Being a manager sure was a lot of work.
With your items paid for, you step out into the street and shield your eyes from the sun. It's a nice day, and a lot of people are out enjoying the sunshine. A few people are walking their dogs, some teens are availing themselves of an ice cream stall set up nearby, and there's a gaggle of middle-aged women bustling about, handing out flyers to anyone unable to outrun them.
One of them catches your eye and immediately makes a beeline for you.
Oh shit.
As you try to avert your gaze and make a quick getaway, the woman jumps out in front of you and pushes a flyer into your hand.
"Hello, young man! I'm with the MAHI association, and would you be able to talk about the future of America with me for a few moments?" she asks, smiling at you.
You raise an eyebrow as you look down at the flyer, which displays a lot of patriotic imagery, as well as the organisation's logo.
What's MAHI?
"I'm glad you asked! As you know, demons were discovered to be real just a few short years ago, much to the shock and disgust of our great nation. Rather than condemn these monsters as monsters, our government has instead seen fit to accommodate them here in the USA, and even supplant them amongst us without our knowledge or consent!"
That doesn't really answer your question.
"Well in the absence of a suitable response from Washington, we formed the Mothers Against Hellish Invasion as a means of protest against this satanic threat! I mean, really; can you seriously believe the gall of those liberals in congress, allowing those fiends into our country?!"
Uh.
"Imagine what would happen! Public morals would degrade exponentially! Those beasts would sow disorder and dissent willy-nilly! If they would be allowed to fornicate and fraternise as they please... Oh, I dread to think of it!"
Uhhh.
"Think of the children! What if your child one day brought home a demon and told you that they planned on marrying it someday?! Do you really want your grandkids to have horns?! Do you?!"
Uhhhhh.
"So that's why we're looking for signatures for our petition, calling for the government to send those vile creatures back to Hell where they belong! Can I count on your support, young man?" the woman concludes, producing a pen and a clipboard.
You freeze. On the one hand, you're not about to sign this petition, especially not whilst on the Earth-Hell Initiative's payroll. On the other, however, you're failing to come up with a reasonable excuse to deny this woman what she wants.
'Sorry, I've emptied my balls inside two demons already, and I do not plan on stopping' doesn't sound too great for this situation.
Right as you're about to cave, you feel someone tugging your sleeve.
"There you are, chief. C'mon, I thought we were goin' to the arcade; what's the holdup?" speaks an unfamiliar voice from behind you.
Confused, you turn around, only to find that there's no one standing there.
"Down here, chief."
Sure enough, when you cast your gaze downwards, you find an extraordinarily short individual standing behind you. They're dressed in jeans and a sleeveless hoodie that they've pulled over their head, casting gloomy shadows over their face.
You squint. You can't actually tell if this person is a man or a woman.
They step back and fold their arms. They have a sleeve tattoo of a bunch of tangled thorns on one arm, and though their features are mostly obscured by the hood, you can make out a pair of piercing amber eyes and the glint of a septum piercing.
Right as you're about to ask who they are, the half-pint stranger steps in front of the pushy MAHI advocate.
"Sorry lady, my friend here's already late for our meetup. Maybe some other time," he - for you have decided he is a he - says, grabbing your wrist and pulling you away.
He drags you down the street and turns a corner, letting you go once the group of women are out of sight. With a smile, he reaches up and pats your shoulder.
"Alright, chief. You should be safe from here on. Those crazy bitches have been surprisin' folks with their fuckin' petitions all day," your saviour sighs, cracking his knuckles.
Smiling, you thank him, but ask why he did that for you. In response, he just shrugs.
"Dunno. You looked like you were brickin' it, and I ain't about to leave a dude flounderin' like that. Oh, name's Casey by the way," he says, offering his hand.
Responding with your own name, you shake it. Now that you get a closer look at him, you find that Casey has an astoundingly androgynous face, and though his gaze is intense, there is a glint of genuine friendliness in his eyes.
Well, you're grateful for his intervention.
"Hah, don't sweat it. Though I wasn't kiddin' about the arcade thing. I was headin' there anyways. You wanna come?" he suggests, jamming his hands into his pockets.
You're taken aback by his offer. You just met the guy!
"Well yeah, but you miss every shot you don't take, right? Besides; goin' alone is borin' as shit."
You stop for a moment to consider. Everyone back home is still at their various courses and lectures, so it's not like you're being expected back. And you are certainly more than willing to put off your massive list of chores for another couple of hours.
Sure, why not?
Upon hearing this, Casey grins.
"Hell yeah. Let's go, chief."
---
You thought that arcades were a dying industry, so you never really bothered much with them. Only now do you realise how foolish that notion was. With Casey by your side, you both have a lot of fun at the various cabinets, playing all sorts of games, some of which you've never even heard of. You both button mash at the fighting games, loudly swear at each other at the racing games and even attempt one of the dancing machines. Between your blundering movements and Casey's short legs, however, you both wind up incredibly tired and sweaty, staring at your respective abysmal scores.
"Don't think we got the moves for this, chief," your new friend pants, adjusting his hood to wipe his brow.
You get a brief glimpse of his face in a better light and notice that it's spackled with freckles.
"Hey, you any good at shootin'?" he asks, pointing to another cabinet.
It's one of those competitive games where the controllers are shaped like pistols, so you and your friend can compete against each other in virtual shooting galleries.
You're no Billy the Kid, but you're sure you've got some decent aim.
"Then put your money where your mouth is, chief; loser's gotta pay for the next game!" Casey cries excitedly.
You smile. Alright then, bring it!
Like giddy schoolboys, the pair of you take your places and slot your quarters into the machine. As the game starts, you pick up the controller and take aim. Casey had picked out a horror-themed level, where digital zombies jump out for you both to shoot. Judging by the two blank scorecards at the top of the screen, you'll be competing for targets.
"BEGIN!" the cabinet cries, and you both jump into action.
As the simulated fiends pop into view, you take aim and begin pulling the trigger, but before you can take the shot, your target goes down. Casey, with almost professional grace, is taking them all down with inhuman speed, hitting them in the head each time. Not one to be outdone, you swallow hard and redouble your efforts.
The pair of you don't speak a word as the game goes on, but neither of you needs to. It's a battle of reflexes, concentration and the steadiness of your arms. Though you manage to score a shot here or there, Casey manages to completely wipe the targets out within seconds of them appearing.
Jeez, is he a hitman in his spare time or something?
He grins at your slight and keeps firing, stealing your targets from you and racking up a score that completely dwarfs your own. You just grit your teeth and keep shooting.
Somehow, you manage to hit one of the digital zombies before him.
Then another.
And another.
As you chain a quintet of successful hits and rack up your score, you notice that Casey isn't shooting anymore. You raise an eyebrow and glance over at him.
The controller is down by his side, and he's staring off into the distance.
Casey? Is he okay?
You look past him.
He's staring into the crowd of other arcade-goers; mostly groups of kids or nostalgic men. There's one individual that stands out to you though, way in the back. He's dressed in a suit and appears to be holding a finger to an earpiece.
"Chief, we gotta go."
You look back at Casey. He's staring at you with urgency in his amber eyes.
What, why? What's wrong?
"No time to explain! Just c'mon!"
He grabs your wrist and drags you away from the machine before the round had even ended. You barely have time to grab your shopping bag as the smaller man hurriedly pulls you through the crowd and towards the exit. He kicks the door open and rushes out onto the street, still clinging to your arm.
Wait, where the Hell is he taking you?!
"Just run!"
He breaks out into a sprint, forcing you to skip and stumble in order to keep up. At some point, he takes a sharp left, dragging you into an alley filled with dustbins and discarded boxes. He keeps pulling you deeper in, whereupon he points at a chain-link fence blocking off the back of the alley.
"Chief, you gotta gimme a boost! I'll pull you up once I'm over!" he pants.
You shake your head and dig your heels into the ground, slowing you both to a stop.
No, enough! What the fuck is he doing?!
"I really don't got time to explain!" Casey cries, nervously looking past you.
You shake your hand free.
Look, it's been fun, but this is getting too crazy for you.
"Wait, chief, don't-!"
You turn on your heel and shake your head. As you make for the entrance of the alleyway, however, a dark figure steps out to block your path. He's dressed in shiny riot gear, but his armour bears no police insignias.
More importantly, he's pointing a shotgun at you.
"Sup," the man says.
Before you can even raise your hands, he pulls the trigger.
You're blasted onto your back as a spray of rock salt strikes you in the chest, knocking you to the alleyway floor. You scream in pain, clutching your chest where the shot ripped your shirt and dug into your skin. The wounds aren't deep, but holy fuck, does it sting!
As you gasp for breath, you hear boots stomping against the ground, followed by a familiar face bearing down upon you.
"Didn't expect to run into you here, kid. I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you're not an accomplice," the surly form of Lilith remarks, her one good eye glaring at you as she clasps her hands behind her back.
She looks up at Casey, who is fruitlessly trying to clamber over the fence.
"Though I suppose I ought to thank you for getting our escapee to drop her guard."
'Her?'
Stepping over to Casey, Lilith's hand shoots out, grabbing for something around her(?) neck. She pulls away a black pendant with a resounding snap, whereupon your erstwhile companion is immediately enveloped in a mysterious red light.
"Indeed. Casey Flekkam, female, twenty-two years of age. And a demon."
You roll onto your stomach and watch as your new friend begins to transform.
Her skin turns from a rosy pink to a deep red as her pupils narrow into those like a cat's. Her hood slips down, revealing a short head of auburn hair. Two yellow horn sprout from just above her ears, whereupon they curve along her head and point straight up into the air. They keep growing and growing until they're both over a foot in length. Gasping for breath, Casey staggers back.
"You bitch... Thought I fuckin' lost you..." the newly-revealed demon growls, bearing a mouth full of sharp teeth.
"Mm. Kid, this is a good opportunity to study an Imp. Demons of Greed, they tend to be fairly androgynous, so I don't blame you for thinking she was a guy."
Casey gives you a bemused look. In the light shining down the alley, her eyes shine almost as brightly as her chrome septum piercing.
"You thought I was a dude?" she murmurs.
You just shrug, wincing as your chest burns.
"Well, as fun as this has been, I'll need to take you back in," Lilith yawns, producing a pair of handcuffs.
"Fuck you! I'm not goin' back to that stuffy holdin' centre!"
Laughing, your overseeing agent glances down at you.
"Y'know what, today might actually be your lucky day, Casey. Say, what did you think of this kid here?" she asks, prodding you with the toe of her boot.
The Imp looks you up and down.
"I dunno. He seems pretty cool."
"Good."
Lilith raises a hand to her earpiece.
"Gale, take the shot."
It was then that you noticed a tiny red dot hovering over Casey's chest. In the distance, you hear a muffled crack, before a plumed tranquiliser dart suddenly zips into the Imp's shoulder.
"Gah, fuck! Wh- What the Hell did you... fuggin' do to... me... yuh... unngh..." she slurs, before her eyes roll back and she topples to the ground.
Lilith sighs and plants her hands on her shoulders.
"There we are. Dallas, get her into the car."
"Yes ma'am!" responds the man in the riot gear as he marches over and hoists the Imp onto his shoulder.
"As for you, kid..."
The EHI agent offers you a hand.
"Let's get you home, eh?"
---
"You mad at me, chief?"
That's one fucking word for it.
As the hot sun beats down on you, you straddle the roof of your house, angrily hammering a nail into a fresh tile that just refuses to stay put. Your chest still aches terribly, and after a cursory examination, you found that it was bruised badly.
Once Lilith brought you home, she informed you that she had made the split decision to foist Casey onto you, so she would no longer have to deal with boisterous Imp. Apparently, she had a track record of escaping from the EHI, and had run away from three previous homestays. Imps were naturally opportunistic and quick to learn, so she had no trouble procuring a demonic artefact that allowed her to disguise herself as human and disappear into the general populace. She had been on the run for almost a week when you bumped into her.
"C'mon, I was just playin' around! Besides, we had fun, didn't we?" she calls from ground level.
Setting your hammer down, you sidle over to the edge of the rooftop and peer over it.
Casey stands in the middle of the garden, hands on her hips as she stares up at you. Since arriving at the house, she had changed into a tank top and a pair of shorts, allowing you to see the gentle but definite swell of a pair of breasts on her chest. There's also a conspicuous ankle monitor on her left leg now; a parting gift from Lilith.
While you can't deny that you had fun, you still feel annoyed at her for deceiving you.
"And how did I deceive you? You didn't ask if I was a human! You didn't even ask if I was a guy or not!"
You bite your tongue. She's got you there.
Still, you have a hard enough time keeping the household in check; you really don't want to add 'babysitting a demonic delinquent' to your list.
"Oh, for- can you just come down so we can talk about this like fuckin' adults? Please?" Casey calls.
You sigh, but concede. Setting your tools aside, you climb down the ladder to ground level. You make a show of frowning and folding your arms as you look down at the diminutive new addition to the household.
"Look, I'mma be real with you; I like you, and I like this place. It's got a good vibe to it, and you're not nearly as controllin' as the other humans I was sent to stay with," she says, rocking back and forth on her heels.
Buttering you up isn't going to-
"Lemme finish! Miss One-Eye gave me the lowdown when I came to. You're lookin' after a bunch of other demons here, right? And they're goin' to college in town and all that shit?"
You nod, causing her to smile.
"Alright. Because I was thinkin' that I might like to stay here, then. Enrol in an arts course or somethin'. I'm handy with a needle, see?" Casey says, pointing to her sleeve tattoo.
You have to admit, it's pretty impressive. Did she do all that by herself?
"Hell yeah I did! So look, you don't gotta worry about gettin' any shit from me. Swear it," the Imp concludes, giving you a smile.
Though you want to remain angry at her, you sigh and allow all of the irritation to seep out of you.
Fine. But she better not misbehave in the future. God knows you've got enough shit to deal with.
"Awesome. Hey chief, one last question?"
What?
"We're alone here, right?"
Well, the others are still at college and wouldn't be home for another few hours yet. As for the house's actual location, there are other dwellings in the neighbourhood, but they're spaced far enough apart to afford you some privacy.
Casey nods and smiles.
"Cool, cool. Wanna fuck then?"
You almost drop your hammer onto your foot. You give her a shocked, incredulous stare.
"What? We're both adults here, and it ain't rude to ask."
No, it's not that. You're more confused as to why she thinks it's appropriate to ask you in the first place.
"Well, you didn't sign that petition, so I figured you weren't one of them demon-hatin' folks. Why, do you prefer your lovers without horns?" the Imp presses, taking a step forward.
You feel your cheeks burning as she gets closer to you. Almost immediately, she notices this and gives you a big grin.
"Oh, I see how it is. You're the opposite, ain'tcha chief?" Casey teases.
Now wait just a minute-!
"Hah, per~vert~!"
She laughs and takes a step away from you, leaving you to stew in equal parts shame and frustration. What was wrong with this girl?!
"So, Mr. Horn Lover, my offer still stands. Care for a roll in the hay?" she asks, cocking her head.
There's something strangely intimidating about the way she's asking you this. The Imp is standing just a few feet away, with her hands planted confidently upon her hips as she gives you a cocky smile. Even without the hoodie and jeans concealing her body as they did before, she's still got a pretty boyish physique, but somehow it's working for you. Swallowing hard, you look deep into her eyes.
Fine. If anything, you can consider this payback for having her disrupt your day.
Casey's eyes flash dangerously as her smile suddenly becomes much more predatory.
"Awesome. The safeword's 'chlorophyll.'"
Sorry, the what-?
"Meniduititrof ihim ad! Abreh!"
Without warning, several tree roots burst from the ground and wrap tightly around your ankles, much to your alarm. You begin to cry Casey's name, but your voice dies in your throat as the roots extend, violently dragging you off your feet and dangling you upside-down, your head more than a foot from the ground. The Imp just giggles devillishly as you struggle and squirm.
"Oh, I'm not Casey to you anymore, pup," she sighs, her tone of voice growing huskier.
She licks her lips and hunkers down to grab your face.
"I want you to call me 'Mistress', understand?"
Why would you-?
She squeezes your cheeks painfully.
"Understand...?" she repeats, her catlike eyes narrowing.
You swallow hard. She was taking this seriously.
... Yes, Mistress.
"Excellent. Now, let's see what you're packing, pup!"
Without any further ado, Casey dextrously whips your belt off and pulls your trousers down. Or rather, she pulls them up, given how you're still dangling by your ankles from demonic tree roots. Rather than remove your boxers, however, the Imp bites her lip and begins to run a finger along the outline of your bulge.