when having sex with my husband he often says he tired and needs to take a break regardless of position. Then he loses his erection and we dont always get to finish. is it him or could it be me?
If it was a man I cared about and the two of you could not finish. I would be concerned and not to place blame.
Is there a medical issue that is the cause of the problems?
I would want my man to have a very through exam.
hes 25 average weight and works 40 hrs a week testing electronics so he sits most of the day...and i have asked him about it it will not discuss the issue or see a doctor about it . he doesnt drink alot no drugs and i dont nag him alot so if hes being nagged its not by me..if its boredom i dont know how to fix that im up to try other things he is not....and im not trying to place blame i really do care about my huband i hope there isnt a med problem. but then that means its me i just am not sure what to do at this point
I'd say it could be a medical problem, he probably suspects it and doesn't want a doctor to confirm it. You both really need to discuss it before it could lead to a split between the two of you.
"Hey, don't knock masturbation! It's sex with someone I love." Woody Allen
"I am willing to admit that I may not always be right, but I am never wrong." Samuel Goldwyn
Maybe find another willing female and see how he reacts to a threesome, but plan ahead and don't let him know. Then as you are sitting around you start kissing the girl passionately and start undressing each other. Don't tell me he won't get an erection from that which should last for a bit as you girls go at it. If you really love him and he loves you it could be what spices things up enough without the old discussion which as you say hasn't worked. Hell he doesn't even have to have sex with the other woman, just seeing you to going after each other could do the trick. If that doesn't work then I don't know what to tell you. Give him an ultimatum, get checked out by the doc or take some viagra.
i'd say he's over working himself to please, maybe the one doing most the moving between the two of you? that would explain being tired, unless you notice him being too tired for the amount of effort he's putting in, then that could be medical. losing an erection sounds more like stress, maybe he's focusing too much on the "tired" bedroom situation to keep excited?
He could also be interested in someone or something else...such as porn.
There are so many things it could be, so you should look into each of these suggestions offered.
do you have a picture of yourself? perhaps you might not be doing it for him anymore?
I can not believe some of the responses you have gotten UGH!!! This situation reeks of erectile dysfunction. Took me several years to get mine to address it. Found Cialis works best of all. PM me if you want some special tips on helping him keep it up.
Bunny12
Bunny Rabbits cute and fuzzy they want to love you but they have razor sharp teeth - don't piss them off! Dear christy1087, I'm thinking it's probably him. Give it time and try not to stress.
Torture the data long enough and they will confess to anything.
There is one good technique you can use which you need to discuss with him first. The whole process should take about two weeks (less if you are really eager) and it's VERY important that neither of you masturbates whilst doing it. In an ideal world you would do it whilst on holiday somewhere, but that's not utterly essential.
1. Go right back to basics, start by having a date or two, strictly no touching or kissing. Restrict your subject matter to neutral subjects such as work or hobbies, just like you would if you had just met.
2. Move on to simply kissing and making out together, no sexual touching. This takes the pressure off him to perform and will almost certainly have you hot for each other. This is a good time to flirt with each other and tease.
3. Some sexual contact, rubbing each other with clothes on is good as is intimate caressing. Oral sex is OK but strictly no intercourse though. This is a good stage to explore and talk about your fantasies and turn ons together.
4. Finally get down to real intercourse. Be as dirty as you both feel comfortable with. If you are not both gagging for it by now then there is something seriously wrong either physically or socially and you need to find outside assistance, starting with a doctor.
Hope this is more helpful than intrusive, I'm not really sure of myself on these forums yet. If I'm being too pushy or something, please let me know.
If you're going through hell, keep going. - Winston Churchill
It may be neither of you in the sexual sense. He may be tired out physically, or having some problems he hasn't discussed with you. The answer above mine has some good advice. I'd also recommend buying a copy of 101 Nights of Great Sex, They run about thirty bucks but you can find them cheaper on Amazon. There are enough that you each pick one a week for a year. Just tear out a couple of pages each week, and one night a week each of you opens one and do what it says. It's a good book to add a little spice to tired relationships.
"Happiness is doing it rotten your own way."Isaac Asimov (1994)
I am agreeing with Christie, and not just because she looks HOT - at 25, i am guessing he is immersed in porn, and either feels some guilt, or his mind is elsewhere.
I also agree with the post that says a hot make-out session before getting into bed might help too?
Too little of that i think generally these days!
i think its him...definatly him.
Depression, and other medical conditions, can also cause someone to lose interest in sex, even during the process. Some medications, lack of proper sleep, stress, a guilty conscience because he's cheating on you, or he could be gay prostitute and not really an electronics guy.
Now that I've properly scared you, take a deep breath and relax.
The reason that I went overboard with that was to make a point. Unless he's willing to talk about it, or see a doctor, you might not know for certain what is going on. We can all speculate for a million years, but it won't change the situation. He needs to be willing to address this with you. If not with you, than with someone else; a doctor, a close friend, or a family member.
Does that make sense?
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If he gets aroused and can not finish, then I would think you still have what he wants.
I have been with a lot of men and many have had this experience. So you better find the best clinic for Men in the area.
If he can not get aroused, that does not necessarily mean it is you either. It could be, but not certain. Some of the things it surely could be is General Stress, Work, Financias, Children. I am sure there are many other factors I have not mentioned.
Seems to me the most important thing you can do beside to continue to be attractive and alluring is to be supportive 24/7.
Yes, this does sound very much like erectile dysfunction and with the help of the doctor and tablets that can be dealt with. However, I wonder if I am reading something else here. You are the one who is worrying that it might be your fault when it is very likely his -- yet he is, perhaps, allowing you to think that you are the one to blame, and that is very man like and very unfair
