Oh dear another depressing thread that describes my situation. Absolutely no sex or intimate contact for well over a year and now sleep in separate bedrooms. Prior to that perhaps 20 -25 times in 30 plus years of marriage. I gave up any hope a long time ago now. We get on ok and live like siblings running a business called a marriage.
I agree with ToshloveCC's sentiments but suspect that there are lots of marriages that are devoid of sex or intimacy as mine is and has been for years now. Yes it's tough and frustrating and I still want her but I know any attempt at an advance upsets her so you get used to it being like brother / sister type relationship and outwardly no one knows.
s
Been in a sexless marriage for over 35 yrs now, yes it's tough sometimes but sleeping in separate rooms helps.
s
Make love to my wife at least once in the next 12 months would be nice.
Make love to my wife at least once in the next 12 months would be nice.
Its now two years since I last made love or had any real intimate contact with my wife and I confess I'm starting to miss it big time. Usually I can manage because I know its not going to happen and the urge soon passes, this time getting the urge does not seem to want leave me. Perhaps its the time of year, I don't know.
Sam
I only have one wish, to make love to my wife more often than once every other year would be nice, but sadly that's unlikely to happen.
Simple for some I guess but improbable for me!
Sam
That's ok. A lot of folks have helped me over the past month or so and I now know so much more about it. I wanted to encourage others who may be in a similar situation to investigate asexuality. It really does explain so much and I really think it should get a lot more exposure.
I think it would be so easy to cheat, divorce and clear off but that's certainly not my style. We live in a hyper sexed world, it's all around you and for people living with an asexual it's increasingly difficult I think to put sex to the back of your mind and lock it away. One might question then why am I here because surely this is one of the most sexual site around. Well the answer for me is simple. Visiting this site allows me to choose when to engage with sex by reading erotica when I want whereas in the real open world it hits you all the time, and increasingly so and it catches you off guard. Whilst this is a little challenging for the sexual partner with dare I say a normal sex drive which I must point out I am , it must be terrible for an asexual.
I guess, although I have no proof what so ever, that asexuals hide in the closet, much like homosexuals did many many years ago. I therefore feel so very saddened by the ordeal asexuals my have living in the world today.
We need to recognise that asexuality in a condition of mind and body that we should understand and support.
Thanks for reading
Sam
Dear all, I think that anyone in a sexless relationship should google asexuality and spend 30 minutes researching the subject. I did this a week or so ago and it has explained much of the last 30+' years. The prognosis is not good and there are few solutions but at least I have a better understanding of why things are the way they are.
Thanks
Sam
Dear all, I think that anyone in a sexless relationship should google asexuality and spend 30 minutes researching the subject. I did this a week or so ago and it has explained much of the last 30+' years. The prognosis is not good but at least I have a better understanding of why things are the way they are.
I enjoyed reading all the experiences but sadly I'm waiting for my first one ! Some how i don't think that train is ever going to stop at my station.
Sam
I enjoyed reading all the experiences but sadly I'm waiting for my first one ! Some how i don't think that train is ever going to stop at my station.
Sam
Thank you for your kind and thoughtful words: you are without doubt an inspiration.
I would naturally want to wear more suitable attire to accommodate your hug so as not to confuse this gesture with anything more that simply human friendship because, I too adhere, and always will do, to the commitment made several decades ago.
Sam
(Ps do hope you take your Earl Grey tea in its purest form without the addition of competing colour or flavourings )
I enjoyed reading the above, but I fear for me it is quite literally 'the stuff of dreams'.
Sam
Thanks for that, love the name and avitar
Sam
Hi Kiera, thanks for that, it was just what I wanted !
Sam
What lovely words that brighten the darkest night and give hope that lost feelings can be regained. Thank you
Sam
Cheers mate have sent you a pm to explain a bit more
Sam
Folks thanks for your comment and support
Sam
What is it like to really love someone and be loved back, to caress and massage them? To want to lay down with them? To really want to make love, giving your all, showing your vulnerability without fear or concern? What is in like to really kiss some one and run your nails down their back? To use your sensuality to arouse someone and feel the warmth and tenderness of an embrace? What is it like to fall a sleep,secure in the arms of the person you love?
My memories of some of this have faded whilst other elements I've never experienced.
Sam
I could really do with a hug right now but being in a very long standing sexless marriage with no intimate contact, hugs are not on the agenda !
I have to put up with dreams and fading memories instead but they lack the warmth and sincerity of a hug.
Oh well better just get on with the day and put it got the back of my mind again
Sam
I've had no sex with my wife for the past twelve months. We've been married 34 years and I doubt we've made love more than 20 times or had any form of intimate contact in that period. We now sleep in separate bedrooms and I can not remember the last time I saw her naked . We don't argue and get along fine basically as brother and sister. For my perspective it's totally unsatisfactory. I have trained myself to accept it this includes my own release which again she will neither tolerate or discuss. I'm mid 50s so statistically have circa 20 more years I guess. I keep telling myself there is more to life that sex, but the trouble is that these days sex is all around us.
Sam
I've had no sex with my wife for the past twelve months. We've been married 34 years and I doubt we've made love more than 20 times or had any form of intimate contact in that period. We now sleep in separate bedrooms and I can not remember the last time I saw her naked . We don't argue and get along fine basically as brother and sister. For my perspective it's totally unsatisfactory. I have trained myself to accept it this included my own release which again she will neither tolerate or discuss. I'm mid 50s so statistically have circa 20 more years I guess. I keep telling myself there is more to life that sex, but the trouble is that these days sex is all around us.
Sam
I've had no sex with my wife for the past twelve months. We've been married 34 years and I doubt we've made love more than 20 times or had any form of intimate contact in that period. We now sleep in separate bedrooms and I can not remember the last time I saw her naked . We don't argue and get along fine basically as brother and sister. For my perspective it's totally unsatisfactory. I have trained myself to accept it this included my own release which again she will neither tolerate or discuss. I'm mid 50s so statistically have circa 20 more years I guess. I keep telling myself there is more to life that sex, but the trouble is that these days sex is all around us.
Sam
I've had no sex with my wife for the past twelve months. We've been married 34 years and I doubt we've made love more than 20 times or had any form of intimate contact in that period. We no sleep in separate bedrooms and I cannon remember the last time I saw her naked . We don't argue and get along fine basically as brother and sister. For my perspective it's totally unsatisfactory. I have trained myself to accept it this included my own release which again she will neither tolerate or discuss. Iim mid 50s so statistically have circa 20 more years I guess. I keep telling myself there is more to life that sex, but the trouble is that these days sex is all around us.
Sam
I've had no sex with my wife for the past twelve months. We've been married 34 years and I doubt we've made love more than 20 times or had any form of intimate contact in that period. We no sleep in separate bedrooms and I cannon remember the last time I saw her naked . We don't argue and get along fine basically as brother and sister. For my perspective it's totally unsatisfactory. I have trained myself to accept it this included my own release which again she will neither tolerate or discuss. Iim mid 50s so statistically have circa 20 more years I guess. I keep telling myself there is more to life that sex, but the trouble is that these days sex is all around us.
Sam
I've had no sex with my wife for the past twelve months. We've been married 34 years and I doubt we've made love more than 20 times or had any form of intimate contact in that period. We no sleep in separate bedrooms and I cannon remember the last time I saw her naked . We don't argue and get along fine basically as brother and sister. For my perspective it's totally unsatisfactory. I have trained myself to accept it this included my own release which again she will neither tolerate or discuss. Iim mid 50s so statistically have circa 20 more years I guess. I keep telling myself there is more to life that sex, but the trouble is that these days sex is all around us.
Sam
Dear Lush friends.
I'm in a long term sexless marriage and would really like to converse with other people in a similar position. I'm not interested in ways to get out of the marriage or loads of suggestions how it can be rectified, I've done all that and nothing works. I'm in my bed and I'm staying there.
What I am interested in is finding a few people I can share thoughts and feelings with in confidence and with discretion. This is not about crude messages or cybering but more about intellectual discussion to, as I said share thoughts and feelings, preferably from a female perspective.
So if you are out there, and would like to converse, please do respond!
Feeling a bit nervous about hitting the send button but here goes .......
Sam
Hi I'm in the same situation as Bunbury, married over 30 yrs, more or less sexless, and nothing in the last twelve months or so and only a hand full of times in the previous 30 yrs . Because of this I've given up on this element of my life. I really feel I've missed out on what could have been a lot of fun and pleasure. But guess that is life!
Being in a sexless marriage the last occasion was 10 months ago . Been married for 34 years and some times we've gone over two years with no sex, sadly she just does not like it, thinks it's degrading. Now often sleep apart as intimacy has all gone now. The relationship we have is more like brother and sister. I've given up thinking anything will ever change.
