Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old,
but they know they are in love.
One day they decide that they want to get married,
so Bruce goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her
hand.
Bruce bravely walks up to him and says,
"Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love
and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."
Thinking that this was just the cutest thing,
Mr. Smith replies,
"Well Bruce, you are only 10..
Where will you two live?"
Without even taking a moment to think about it,
Bruce replies,
"InJenny's room.
It's bigger than mine
and we can both fit there nicely."
Still thinking this is just adorable,
Mr. Smith says with a huge grin,
"Okay, then how will you live?
You're not old enough to get a job.
You'll need to support Jenny."
Again, Bruce instantly replies, "Our allowance,
Jenny makes five bucks a week
and I make 10 bucks a week.
That's about 60 bucks a month,
so that should do us just fine."
Mr. Smith is impressed
Bruce has put so much thought into this.
"Well Bruce,
it seems like you have everything figured out.
I just have one more question.
What will you do if the two of you should have
little children
of your own?"
Bruce just shrugs his shoulders and says,
"Well, we've been lucky so far."
Mr. Smith no longer thinks the little shit is
adorable.
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jtw130
Over 90 days ago
Male, 42
United States
Forum
Active Ink Slinger
One December day we found an old straggly cat at our door. She was a sorry sight -- starving, dirty, smelled terrible, skinny and hair all matted down.
We felt sorry for her so we put her in a carrier and took her to the vet. We didn't know what to call her so we named her “Pussycat.” The vet decided to keep her for a day or so. He said he would let us know when we could come and get her. My husband (the complainer) said, “OK, but don't forget to wash her. She stinks.” He reminded the vet that it was his WIFE (me) who wanted the dirty cat, not him.
My husband and my vet don't see eye to eye. The vet calls my husband “El Cheap-O,” and my husband calls the vet “El Charge-O” They love to hate each other and constantly “snipe” at one another, with my husband getting in the last word on this particular occasion.
The next day my husband had an appointment with his doctor, who is located in the same building and next door to the vet. The MD's waiting room was full of people waiting to see the doctor. A side door opened and the vet leaned in. Obviously he had seen my husband arrive.
He looked straight at my husband and in a loud voice said, ”Your wife's pussy doesn't stink any more. We washed and shaved it and now she smells like a rose. Oh, and by the way, I think she's pregnant. God only knows who the father is!”
Then he closed the door.
Now THAT, my friends, is getting even!
We felt sorry for her so we put her in a carrier and took her to the vet. We didn't know what to call her so we named her “Pussycat.” The vet decided to keep her for a day or so. He said he would let us know when we could come and get her. My husband (the complainer) said, “OK, but don't forget to wash her. She stinks.” He reminded the vet that it was his WIFE (me) who wanted the dirty cat, not him.
My husband and my vet don't see eye to eye. The vet calls my husband “El Cheap-O,” and my husband calls the vet “El Charge-O” They love to hate each other and constantly “snipe” at one another, with my husband getting in the last word on this particular occasion.
The next day my husband had an appointment with his doctor, who is located in the same building and next door to the vet. The MD's waiting room was full of people waiting to see the doctor. A side door opened and the vet leaned in. Obviously he had seen my husband arrive.
He looked straight at my husband and in a loud voice said, ”Your wife's pussy doesn't stink any more. We washed and shaved it and now she smells like a rose. Oh, and by the way, I think she's pregnant. God only knows who the father is!”
Then he closed the door.
Now THAT, my friends, is getting even!
Active Ink Slinger
35
You prefer to keep the steamy, physical side of your romantic life behind closed doors, where you feel it belongs. This doesn't mean you're not an affectionate person, just that you have a need for privacy and prefer to practice respectful discretion. You may feel uncomfortable when a couple gets hot and heavy in front of you, or you could care less what others do - either way, getting it on in public is just not your thing. This is a matter of personal choice, but you certainly have chosen the most respectful option. Going overboard in public can lead to some compromising situations that you're better off avoiding. A little affection from time to time, on the other hand, could spice up your love life - just do it subtly and it'll work its magic.
You prefer to keep the steamy, physical side of your romantic life behind closed doors, where you feel it belongs. This doesn't mean you're not an affectionate person, just that you have a need for privacy and prefer to practice respectful discretion. You may feel uncomfortable when a couple gets hot and heavy in front of you, or you could care less what others do - either way, getting it on in public is just not your thing. This is a matter of personal choice, but you certainly have chosen the most respectful option. Going overboard in public can lead to some compromising situations that you're better off avoiding. A little affection from time to time, on the other hand, could spice up your love life - just do it subtly and it'll work its magic.
Active Ink Slinger
Billy died.... His will provided $30,000 for an elaborate funeral.
As the last guests departed the affair, his wife, Joyce, turned to her
oldest and dearest friend, Jan.
"Well, I'm sure Billy would be pleased," she said.
"I'm sure you're right," replied Jan, who lowered her voice and leaned in close.
"How much did this really cost?"
"All of it," said Joyce, "Thirty thousand."
"No!" Jan exclaimed. "I mean, it was very nice, but $30,000?"
Joyce answered, "The funeral was $6,500. I donated $500 to the church, the whiskey, wine and snacks were another $500. The rest went for the Memorial Stone."
Jan computed quickly, "$22,500 for a Memorial Stone? My God, how big is it?"
Joyce answered, "Two and a half carats."
As the last guests departed the affair, his wife, Joyce, turned to her
oldest and dearest friend, Jan.
"Well, I'm sure Billy would be pleased," she said.
"I'm sure you're right," replied Jan, who lowered her voice and leaned in close.
"How much did this really cost?"
"All of it," said Joyce, "Thirty thousand."
"No!" Jan exclaimed. "I mean, it was very nice, but $30,000?"
Joyce answered, "The funeral was $6,500. I donated $500 to the church, the whiskey, wine and snacks were another $500. The rest went for the Memorial Stone."
Jan computed quickly, "$22,500 for a Memorial Stone? My God, how big is it?"
Joyce answered, "Two and a half carats."