Appreciate the pointers and the thought Rowan. Indeed, there's certainly no right or wrong answers, which is what intrigued me and made me curious as to others perspectives.

Particularly like views on 7. And couldn't personally agree more.

Regards to 8. An anecdotal side note which cropped up during our discussion was a female friend whose boyfriend asked her to give him s blow job. When she said sure, but asked if he might pleasure her orally as well....his refusal was because it would be "too much effort".

I don't think...and certainly hope...this isn't a typical stance, but even so it does boggle the mind.

Thanks again

I recently had a conversation with a couple of friends in which we questioned our respective expectations/definitions of various elements of a sexual encounter.

Our responses in some cases differed wildly. Perhaps unsurprising given the three of us included a straight male, a gay female and a bisexual female.

I thought I'd pop my Lush Forum cherry by kindly asking a wider audience for their thoughts. I'm curious if we might find a general consensus or if our expectations retain such a spectrum on a wider scale.

Our questions were:

• When does/should foreplay start? Our answers ranged from "at the start of a night" (if we think in terms of a date/random approach in a bar scenario) to "when you're naked"

• How long should foreplay last? (We had as long as necessary to "up to two hours")

• At what stage does it become/what constitutes "having sex"? This was interesting in regards to how it is perceived differently between a straight couple and a gay couple. E.g. my gay friend asked if I would classify it as sex if she were to pleasure herself while her partner "helped to get her off without physically touching". In my ignorent curiosity I asked how she determined the point foreplay ended and "sex" began when making love with another woman.

• How long should sex last (post foreplay)?

• In respect of a straight encounter; is it sex if there's no actual "sexual intercourse"? If so, what makes it sex?

• Would you be left disappointed if a sexual encounter ended without actual intercourse, even if your partner had made you come already?

• What's more important; you or your partner getting off?

• For a guy (either in a straight or gay scenario), if you come and your partner hasn't, do you always make sure they get off too?

Very grateful for any thoughts on some or all of the above. Would also of course be interesting to know from which gender / sexual orientations opinions are coming from.

Cheers!

Nick

Reading the stories on lush

She held in her hand her hairbrush

No don't put that there!

It's for combing your hair!

But my word did that cause quite a gush

His mistress delivered her orders

To bend over while crouching on all fours

The bottle went "glug"

As she lubed up the plug

Goddamn those anal bead hoarders

His sexual desires were naughty

His brain apparently faulty

He liked touching midgets

Til they writhe and they fidget

Such a devient shorty