I’m no author, and as such you will have to forgive my grammar and prose. I just wanted to share these experiences with you that I had last winter with a girl who came into my life with an explosion of passion and heat where none was looked for.

Extract from my journal, dated 11-11-2009 AM

“........... Loneliness is a strange creature, does it create as much as it destroys – forcing one’s self to come to terms with your doubts, fears and failures. Is it possible to be reborn through it?

My loneliness was shattered last weekend by a blinding brilliance called ******. In just one night she taught me that I’m something to be cherished not shunned – my soul and body are beautiful. When someone rejects your touch, refuses to caress, to lick, to nibble, to make eye contact you start to believe. But the joy this angle found in me has stirred something long buried. A kind of hope. Self hope. But the wish to cry is strong as the desire for her eager hips and ravishing mind.

I cherished her eloquence, golden tongue, turn of phrase. Those burning eyes full of a flame I once had for life. Did I help to re-ignite her own fire?

So long I had been rejected for the T.V or the stress at work. You lose yourself to this. But I find hope in her eyes, her demanding body and probing, flashing thoughts and tongue...

PM

She texts me “You really ARE the perfect balance of thoughtful romantic and rampant sexual deviant! Don’t let me fall for you Mr ********”

If you listened to my ex you would believe she was talking about another! I believed it too for so long, part of me still wants to. What if ****** is right – could I really be that person – maybe I was once him. Can 6 years of rejection be erased in one night?

I want to write my thoughts out as at the moment I seem incapable of grasping the bigger picture that is my life.

I believe you can know if you could love someone at first sight. Some restless emotion stirs deep inside you. I was amazed she even looked at me. More surprised still when I discovered myself offering her my number. It only dawned on me what I had done when she said “I live in London” a hundred miles away, and from where I had just fled.

Later on I was to look into those big burning eyes and listen to her praise.

19, when I first asked a girl for her number – 29 and I finally did it again. This time though it wasn’t me. It was my heart responding to those eyes. Things being as they are, losing my job, girlfriend, and the house we rented, moving to this rock... may all have been worth it for that glorious night and day in a strangers arm.

Enough of this for now. Who once said at 30 a man should decide to make a stand with his life“? 6 months left! How long am I going to have to write this clichéd nonsense before I reach some kind of conclusion or stance?

.......... If it’s only one night... my god it was worth it. It’s cold and wet outside but I love it all.”

Seven months later, this is about that night.

My memories.

It’s hard to do them justice.

She stood next to me as the fireworks shot into the night’s sky, launched from the end of the pier. The sky was full of fire but my eyes only knew of her. I had been taking pictures. Head down, breathing slowly, composing my shots. Then click of the shutter. Later she told me this is what first caught her attention.

She winked.

My heart stopped.

My world stopped.

In the words of Hendrix “this foxy little heart breaker” stood maybe 5’8, slim, late 20’s, eyes fierce with life and hunger. A Media girl.

Two days later we met while I was working at a jazz gig. Finn Peter was playing. She had told me she had a boyfriend at home in London when I first met her. My heart was in my mouth as she turned up.

Why was she here?

Why was she coming?

These thoughts had swum through my head for the last couple of days. Only one reason I could think of. I laughed at my own stupidity as I stocked up on wine the night before. Who was I kidding?

In the pub we giggled as we kissed for the first time. From then on it was a blur of passion and heat.

We jump in a taxi towards mine. She was sat on my lap, biting my neck, raining eager kisses upon me. I was surprised they had the London style cabs out here in the sticks, plenty of room for her. I was more shocked at her, full of smiles thinking to myself what the hell have I just invited round, a wild animal? It could hardly sink in as we drove down those bumpy little lanes, her tongue down my throat.

I gave her a tour of the cottage, sending her out in front of me so I could watch her little arse wiggle invitingly in a pair of skin tight jeans. Laughing and giggling, I showed her up the thin wooden boating steps to the annex. By the time she was half way up, clinging to the next set of stairs above her those jeans were round her ankles. Her small black thong was riding up the crack of her arse, stretching tight over the soft mound of her pussy, my lips brushing her cheeks.

I’m full of contradictions.

I’m shy and quite, nervous around girls, saying stupid things, jealous of all those smooth and confident guys. In bed though, I’m completely different. I’m demanding, hungry, eager to please and know exactly what I want, and most of the time I get it.

Strange isn’t it? I have no inhibitions at all so why I can’t be this confident out of the bedroom is beyond me.

I had her naked and led down on my bed in a matter of moments, my eyes taking in how glorious she was. I laughed as she asked how I managed to strip her without even taking off my jumper, let alone allowing her a glimpse of my bulging cock that was throbbing hotly, still hidden in my boxers.

I crawled from the bottom my bed, up her naked form while she sipped from a glass of wine that wasn’t a wasted buy after all. Surprise! God she had huge pussy lips, glistening wet underneath a small strip of hair. My lips clasped round them and sucking I filled my mouth full of her labia. She let out a groan and from then on I was in heaven.

Sliding two fingers into her deep, sticky wet hole I wondered just how dirty she was, who was I kidding though? She was the one who had pounced on me. Spitting on my last two fingers, I gently eased them into her hungry little arsehole.

If you have never had the chance to try this then I pity you.

Two wet fingers in a girls pussy while two more in her hot, dark, damp tight little bum hole.

Rocking my hand up and down, fingers forced against the side of that thin wall that separates those divine parts of a woman together. She shouts to me “God, fucking hell I love that. How did you know?”

I turn her over.

Her hair is long and dark, dyed slightly red. Her face is buried in my pillow. God how I want to taste it. Lick it. I’m excited and my need is great.

My hands spread her lovely soft white cheeks apart, no sign of any hair, just a glorious tight little hole peeping back at me.

Nothing I find sexier than a girl giving herself to me totally with all her body and mind. My tongue meets that tight place. Gently at first I lick. Lick around it and over it. Stopping I tell her to rub her pussy before spreading her as wide as I can.

I love everything.

The feeling of her soft arse cheeks in my hands, the sight of her wet pussy from behind as her finger rubs her clit through the folds of those huge wet lips nearly an inch in length. The amazing sight of her dark anus being stretched apart by my hands. I just loose myself in the moment.

I plunge my tongue into her arse.

Tongue fucking her dirty little fucking hole. I love it.

“I want you in my arse baby” she cry’s.

I stop, lean back and say to her “what did you just say? Tell me again, I want to hear it”

Laughing she takes her fingers, glistening from her folds and pushes them deep into her arse. Fuck I’ve never seen this before. Always wished it, but never ever thought I would get a chance to see it. What a view and what a girl to come crashing into my life.

“I want you. Fuck my arse, god fuck it” she says pulling those fingers out. I let out a little groan. I’m never going to be the same person again.

Grabbing her hand before it disappears round the front. I want to show her how dirty I can be, let her know anything is possible. I put them into my mouth and suck. I look into her eyes and we share yet another moment. Thoughts intertwined. Dirty fuckers. I turn her onto her back.

“I want to look into your eyes as my cock is in your arse” I want to share our filthiness, to connect with her in every possible way.

I’m naked and kneeling down on the bed at her feet.

Cock dripping with pre cum.

lifting her legs high and forwards, her knees nearly touching her shoulders. She has big brown eyes. I’m looking into these as the tip of my cock finds her dark little opening.

She smiles and I push gently.

She sucks in her breath, head back eyes closed.

Her hands reach for my arse and slowly she pulls me into her. Not much resistance or effort is needed, that first inch just pops in. My cock slowly gets swallowed by her bowels, drawn in. Its tightness grips my shaft, like a wave of pleasure moving along its length as she draws me further in.

It’s hot.

I think I can feel her pulse. Or is it mine?

She opens her eyes and tells me again to fuck her arse. A big grin is on my face. She’s all mine. For that night at least.

We change position. Spoons.

My hard cock still pumping into her arse. She takes my hands and puts them around her throat and tells me to squeeze. Squeeze hard. I feel like an animal, the power she has given to me, offered up with her own free will. Her face is going red. My hips have turned into a machine, relentlessly fucking her arse.

I’m confused.

Feeling so empowered it’s frightening. I have to let go, what’s happening to me? She’s almost coming, pinching her left nipple hard while her other fingers are a blur across her woman hood.

“Spit on me and slap me” she demands. I do both.

Aware these are firsts for me. Is she turning me into a monster?

God she’s coming. Back is arched, chest in the air. Teeth clenched, and her arse has a vice like grip around my thick cock, squeezing hard.

That’s enough for me, my orgasm busts forth from deep inside me, and I bury my seed into her bowels. Cover her insides with my thick, hot cum. God what an amazing woman.

A few minutes rest and she asks me to sit on her face. She wants to return the favour. God her tongue on my arse feels good. Great in fact. Wet and slippery, darting around eager for more. I was in for a long night.