I am not going to cum. What am I doing with this man?

These thoughts and more race through my head as my current victim tries to fuck my dead pussy. I desperately look into his eyes, begging them to be blue or green, anything but brown. But, they are still brown. He twists my nipples, rubs my clit raw, and thrusts his better-than-average cock inside my desert-dry pussy and I feel nothing. I may as well put him out of his misery and take a page from the Harry Met Sally movie.

"Oh, babe! Oh, babe! I'm cumming! I'm cumming!" I scream out trying to shake my legs to simulate a believable orgasm. 

I feel him squirt inside my cold, lifeless pussy. He is oblivious, and says, "That was incredible!"  

I kiss him goodbye, gather my things, and take my pathetic ass home.

This is the third time I have done this to some unsuspecting victim ... I mean man. Little did he know, he had no chance in hell with me. His eyes are actually green. I caught a real glimpse of them for just a second before I saw the brown eyes again.

~~

Brown eyes looked at me in shock as I opened the bedroom door to our apartment and saw him fucking her from behind. Her perfect ass on display. And then my friend's eyes discovered me too. But, they didn't look shocked; they looked pleased.

Mr. Brown Eyes did apologize, but his apology came with a lot of "buts" -

      "But, you didn't give me enough attention."   

      "But, you didn't please me sexually."  

      "But, you didn't try to look good for me."

~~

As I lay in bed at night, I see him fucking her tight, perfect pussy. Her beautiful, round tits bounce with each thrust. I see her crying out in ecstasy and the smug look on his lying, cheating face. I see her beauty - the beauty I don't have. I see his desire for her - that he didn't have for me. These are the thoughts that haunt someone who had a loved one cheat. You believe you are less than.

Snap out of it, Kimmi. You will show him!

And so I venture out again to prove to myself I am beautiful and desirable. I desperately crave to be told I am beautiful now. I need that as much as I need the air I am breathing. I have a hole that must be filled. Only a hard fuck will fill it. I need a man to tell me I am attractive to feel attractive. I need a man to tell me I am desirable to feel desirable. I can't get over this pain any other way. A good fuck will heal everything fucked up inside me. I find Mr. Fix-It at the bar. 

Let's see. First, is he more attractive than Mr. Brown Eyes? Yes, he is. Ha! Take that, cheater! Look what I snagged! Here is the test - what color eyes does he have? Green. Yes! His fucking eyes are green. He leads me to the dance floor and I can do this. I took some belly dancing classes and learned how to seductively dance. I got this. His eyes fall to my hips, watching my seductive movements. I am getting him tangled in my web. Look at me now, Mr. Brown Eyes. This man is turned on by me.

The fates love me tonight and a slow song plays. He pulls me in and I look into his green eyes. Fuck, I see brown again! Pissed off, I choose to close them and lay my head on his chest. I feel his hand on my chin as he lifts my face up to kiss me. I keep my eyes closed and instinctively find his lips. Our kissing is good, so I try once again to get in a good mind space. Just concentrate on his soft lips, his warm tongue, and his gentle hands.

He breaks our kiss and whispers, "You are beautiful" in my ear. There it is. 

I passionately kiss him again on the dance floor and graze my hand over his pants to feel his hard cock. Yes! He is turned on by me.

Okay, Kimmi. You got this. Just don't look him in the eyes. 

"Is there somewhere more private we can go," I whisper sweetly in his ear.

"Yes," he whispers back. "My apartment is just around the corner."

"Let's go, please," I say, trying not to beg.

He leads me by the hand off the dance floor and out of the bar. I stop us every few steps to passionately kiss him. I feel good right now and desperately want to keep this feeling. We are heated by the time we reach his door. He can't open his door fast enough.

Once inside, it is on. I mean lips kiss, hands roam, and clothes come off. We make it to the couch before collapsing in passion. 

His cock is so fucking hard for me and I can't get enough of it. I grind against it, urging my dead pussy back to life. I feel the wetness between my legs. And my first thought is, Take that cheater! He tries to put me in doggie-style, but in my mind's eye, I see her perfect ass ... in the air ... getting perfectly fucked.

"No, let me get on top," I say, trying to shake the vision invading my head.

Thankfully, he complies and rolls over on his back, as I climb onto his cock. I hurriedly push his hard cock inside me before my pussy changes its mind. 

Oh my, God! It feels really good!

It helps that this victim is a great lover. He expertly strums my clit with one hand and twists a nipple with his other. I ride him hard. I need to cum. Everything will be alright again as soon as I cum and he cums. I optimistically look him in his beautiful eyes. Damn! Still brown! Oh, well. I am getting fucked anyways by a man who thinks I am beautiful. Everything will be fixed now.

I concentrate on all these wonderful sensations. Shocks shoot up my head with each twist of my taut nipple. His fingers on my swollen clit take care of everything below my waist. And his magnificent cock fills my previously abandoned hole. This is all I need to get over Mr. Brown Eyes. We fuck and fuck and fuck and I feel that tightness in my lower abdomen. God, I need this release. I close my eyes and listen to my screams. I focus on the manly, satisfied groans coming from this handsome man inside of me. This will take all my pain away.

I cum. I don't fake it. But, within seconds, I feel like an empty shell again, completely void of happiness - because I did it for him, as a revenge on him, to prove a stupid point to him. So, what happens now, you ask? A brick hits me in my stupid fucked-up head and I realize no amount of fucking will fix this. The mind fuck clears and I see what I really need ... time ... time to heal properly. 

~~

A year ahead 

"Oh, God! Oh, God! Don't Stop!"

We are fucking missionary style and my legs strangle his hard body, pulling him in tighter. He props up on one elbow, while his other hand brushes strands of hair away from my face. And did I mention he is fucking me? And I am loving it! What a difference a year makes.

I trust this man plunging his cock into my sweet pussy, fully alive again. I relish the feeling of his fingers pinching my oh-so-sensitive nipples. We have changed positions three times now. Rediscovering my sexual wants and needs is an exciting part of my new relationship. We discover my love of being spanked together. We discover his love of playing with my ass together. He lovingly shows me how to properly suck his cock. He tells me I am beautiful, and I believe him. But, I believed it about myself before he told me.

And I am proud of myself for not worrying about him cheating. I don't check his phone or email. I take him at his word unless the time comes where his word doesn't match his actions. I don't fear cheating this time, because I survived cheating before. 

Now, where was I? Oh, yeah, I am about to scream out my 3rd orgasm from being fucked into tomorrow by this wonderful, passionate man.

I look into his sexy face and our eyes lock ... and I see blue eyes.