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A Pirate's Life For Me

"A naughty piratical poem going around the Britsh shipping areas"

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Author's Notes

"Best read with a bottle of rum!"

Setting sail, on the high seas, cutlass in me hand
We'll keep on going till we're home, till we're in sight o' land
Starting in the north, South East Iceland so it's called
We'll ride the waves, dodging shot and even cannonballs

πŸ΄β€β˜ οΈ

Heading into Faeroes, the sea's as rough as hell
I'll call me up a wench or two when I ring me bell,
I'll take my fill o' rum n water until I'm rather groggy
We'll cross into Fair Isle soon, where it's always foggy

πŸ΄β€β˜ οΈ

A bit o' slap n tickle, her breeches around her waist
We're heading into Viking as her cunny I do taste
I call for the second wench, "Hey lass," I say, "Come hither!"
I'll finger her ass and squeeze her tits until she's all a quiver

πŸ΄β€β˜ οΈ

Kissing now, my tongue lashes, going from mouth to mouth
Tacking hard we pass on through Utsire North and South,
Below decks I take yer, steaming through Fisher and Forties
You'll drop yer knickers when I say or kiss the gunner's daughter!

πŸ΄β€β˜ οΈ

Shiver me timbers! It's morning! Ahoy there me hearties!
It wasn't easy to find a rhyme with shipping area Cromarty!
Two points abaft the beam, Forth and Tyne are our heading
I call for a plate o' burgoo, while yer making' up me bedding

πŸ΄β€β˜ οΈ

Get me another gal, you know the one, she is a lovely snogger
Look fore and aft, bring her here before we arrive in Dogger!
Too late, we're scudding, blown east to German Bight
Heave Ho! Starboard tack, we can make Humber by tonight!

πŸ΄β€β˜ οΈ

"Roger the Cabin Boy! "I call, that's his name it's not an instruction
I know you want to suck him off by way of introduction,
He is a sprightly lad, goes by the name of Ben O'Connor
We're Dover bound and then you can kneel and blow his Jolly Roger

πŸ΄β€β˜ οΈ

Counting up me treasure, golden coins and gems We've got the wind in our sails as we head to Thames,

We pass the coast of Essex known for all its oysters There we'll sink a flagon or two but there won't be time to loiter

πŸ΄β€β˜ οΈ

Land Ahoy! The White Cliffs of Dover and we drop anchor for the night
Fill yer ditty bags wi' booty, hoist the mainsail we're off to Wight!
Did you fill your boots, did you find some tight land lubber pussy?
Me? I brought on board a dirty little hussy!

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πŸ΄β€β˜ οΈ

A league or two, first Portland and then Plymouth are ahead
I might be gone some time as I've got two floozies in me bed,
The Doldrums are in Biscay, Trafalgar is not much better
Give me time for more rampant sex, get their pussies wetter!

πŸ΄β€β˜ οΈ

With a fair wind, we can make Fitzroy, this girl is really frisky!
I'm so horny now, I could down a full bottle o' Irish whiskey!
On the capstan, in the galley, she has such a tight little hole!
Just time to service her binnacle before we head into Sole

πŸ΄β€β˜ οΈ

Full and by, take it easy a storm is up and brewin'
If I'm not careful, this girl - is sure to be my ruin!
I hadn't even asked her name, she tells me she's a Sharon
Brace yourselves, we're in for quite a night, steaming into Shannon

πŸ΄β€β˜ οΈ

Fastnet sees quite a swell, the sea is rather lumpy
I'll be honest, I'll be happy once we're in sight o' Lundy,
Soon we're in Irish Sea, I hear the girls there are tasty!
But after the night I've just had, I shouldn't be so hasty

πŸ΄β€β˜ οΈ

But yer can turn the gipsy winch, we need to get provisions
I'm gonna get me laid again, it's the only sane decision,
I knew it was a mistake, the lass was just a Siren
Not a way to end a line, but then I'm no Lord Byron!

πŸ΄β€β˜ οΈ

This has been quite a voyage, it's been more than a journey
I contemplate all my woes as I lay upon this gurney,
I hope to feel better soon, to shake off this Mal de mer
Sea area Malin is on the way and then we're nearly there

πŸ΄β€β˜ οΈ

Now I'm feeling better, Rockall is in our sights!
I'm starting to get hot again, I love you in those tights,
Chasin yer round the plankin' taking you in the galley
I've fucked you so many times, but I haven't kept a tally

πŸ΄β€β˜ οΈ

Hebrides, Oh Hebrides, so many tales to tell
We pirates like to fuck and pillage in market, field and fell,
So we arrive in Bailey, our travels at an end
To you my love, my kisses and all my bounty I do send

πŸ΄β€β˜ οΈ

I embarked upon this trip, a raunchy, foul-mouthed pirate
Take me advice, don't choose this life, instead become a pilot,
For a pirate's life is not all fun, so many hours at sea,
Ship's biscuits, scurvy dogs, and barrels of cold tea

PublishedΒ 
Written by DanielleX
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