There once was a young girl called Annie,
Who had an extraordinary fanny, 
When she sang a song, 
It sang along, 
Which came as a shock to her granny.

*****

There once was a young girl called Liz,
Who hated the taste of men’s jizz,
Her boyfriend was rude,
Poor Lizzy, she spewed,
So he’ll lick her, but she won’t suck his.

*****

Jane said, “I am teaching a chum,
to take my fist up her bum, 
With a push and a shove, 
With my hand in a glove, 
She sighed when it was finally done.

*****

A couple of girls in the park,
Were struck by a lesbian spark, 
They licked and they sucked, 
They kissed and they fucked, 
Until stopped by a policeman called Mark.

*****

There was an old lady called Rose,
Who was having some problems with clothes, 
Her bras didn’t fit, 
So she decided to quit, 
And now ‘they’ are down by her toes.

*****

There once was a girl who felt faint,
To her doctor she made a complaint, 
He pulled out a plectrum, 
From deep in her rectum, 
“Sweet music? I say that it ain’t!”

*****

There was a young girl from Dubai,
Who was seeing a girl on the sly, 
Her boyfriend was shocked, 
His confidence knocked, 
As he went and wanked himself dry.

*****

There was a young woman from Ealing,
Who had a peculiar feeling, 
As she lay on her back, 
And played with her crack, 
She squirted all over the ceiling!

*****

There was a young lass we’ll call Beth,
Who had a twin brother called Seth, 
I know this is corny, 
But he said he was horny, 
So she said, “Ewww, get off me you pervert! 
Jesus!! That’s fucking sick, pull your fucking pants up or I’ll phone the police.”