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The Twelve Days of Sexmas

I think this is in F major?
On the first day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
A sex swing for the pear tree.

On the second day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Two dove gray blindfolds,
And a sex swing for the pear tree.

On the third day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Three French maid outfits,
Two dove gray blindfolds,
And a sex swing for the pear tree.

On the fourth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Four call girls,
Three French maid outfits,
Two dove gray blindfolds,
And a sex swing for the pear tree.

On the fifth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Five golden cock rings,
Four call girls,
Three French maid outfits,
Two dove gray blindfolds,
And a sex swing for the pear tree.

On the sixth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Six geese Furries a-laying,
Five golden cock rings,
Four call girls,
Three French maid outfits,
Two dove gray blindfolds,
And a sex swing for the pear tree.

On the seventh day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Seven Swan vibes a-vibrating,
Six geese Furries a-laying,
Five golden cock rings,
Four call girls,
Three French maid outfits,
Two dove gray blindfolds,
And a sex swing for the pear tree.

On the eighth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Eight maids a-milking prostates,
Seven Swan vibes a-vibrating,
Six geese Furries a-laying,
Five golden cock rings,
Four call girls,
Three French maid outfits,
Two dove gray blindfolds,
And a sex swing for the pear tree.

On the ninth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Nine ladies pole dancing,
Eight maids a-milking prostates,
Seven Swan vibes a-vibrating,
Six geese Furries a-laying,
Five golden cock rings,
Four call girls,
Three French maid outfits,
Two dove gray blindfolds,
And a sex swing for the pear tree.

On the tenth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Ten lords a-blowing,
Nine ladies pole dancing,
Eight maids a-milking prostates,
Seven Swan vibes a-vibrating,
Six geese Furries a-laying,
Five golden cock rings,
Four call girls,
Three French maid outfits,
Two dove gray blindfolds,
And a sex swing for the pear tree.

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Eleven pipers being pegged,
Ten lords a-blowing,
Nine ladies pole dancing,
Eight maids a-milking prostates,
Seven Swan vibes a-vibrating,
Six geese Furries a-laying,
Five golden cock rings,
Four call girls,
Three French maid outfits,
Two dove gray blindfolds,
And a sex swing for the pear tree.

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Twelve drummers in satin panties,
Eleven pipers being pegged,
Ten lords a-blowing,
Nine ladies pole dancing,
Eight maids a-milking prostates,
Seven Swan vibes a-vibrating,
Six geese Furries a-laying,
Five golden cock rings,
Four call girls,
Three French maid outfits,
Two dove gray blindfolds,
And a sex swing for the pear tree!


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Comments(15)


golf_nut
Posted 25 Feb 2014 01:56
Great and unique take on a favorite Christmas song. Well done.
AlphaMaleX
Posted 21 Nov 2013 12:15
I found myself humming the original as I read it!
Marinepilot
Posted 22 Oct 2013 21:04
Cheers to you for this wonderful parody! I think we will sing your version this year.
ponyboy
Posted 15 Dec 2012 19:56
Funnier than watching auntie Maude sit on a pinecone! 5+
underthehood
Posted 15 Dec 2012 00:17
Haha .. thoroughly enjoyed it !! Keep up the naughty work CG, there is no coming back to the 'good girls' list' for you
allinabout18times
Posted 13 Dec 2012 11:09
Cute!!!

playsit
Posted 13 Dec 2012 11:05
I love naughty minds that just randomly think this way! Thanks for the smiles CG.

Mazza
Posted 13 Dec 2012 10:35
Ha ha, this is VERY fun CG!!

Nice job, you creative little elf, you!!

When can we expect your audio version, with you singing it?
(I'll rattle some jingle bells to accompany you if you like??)

kinkygirl
Posted 13 Dec 2012 09:48
I want to have Christmas with you.
Nikki703
Posted 13 Dec 2012 09:40
Now I have 2 favorite Christmas songs!! I love the way you think! Im gonna be watching you! HAHA

ShyVixen
Posted 13 Dec 2012 08:58
Fun and naughty! I'll sing your version this year!
sugarbabe
Posted 13 Dec 2012 08:27
oh, I hope my lover boy reads this and gets a few new ideas.
really fun to read CG, looking forward to reading a few more
of your masterpieces! You're going to have a WONDERFUL Christmas this year... and through the New Year!!!!
girlsetfree
Posted 13 Dec 2012 07:54
Love it, a classic x
ginger86
Posted 13 Dec 2012 06:48
heehee, so funny. can i see you in one of those french maids outfits?
wolverine15
Posted 13 Dec 2012 06:42
I knew you were kinda the Dr Ruth of Lush but now the Dr Seuess too!!!!
Damn you are so talented no wonder I love you!
 

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