Even though it is Saturday, we are up early, and the cafe is not packed with people yet. Ian opens the door for me, and I walk up to the counter. Ian is a small distance behind me as he holds the door for a woman with a child. Claire is working the till and taking orders today.
"Hello, Annie," she says. "Latte and chocolate croissant?"
"Yes, please," I say. "And what will you have?" I ask Ian when he has caught up with me.
"Oh, Ian, you finally talked to Annie - you're so slow! What did it take, three months time?" Claire says to him. "I knew you two would get along. See, I'm always right!" Her smile is bright and squishes her cheeks up.
"I didn't talk to her; she threw a pen at me," he says.
"I didn't throw my pen at you; it slipped and flew." I put my hand on his chest, and he kisses me on the lips.
Claire gazes at us and claps her hands. Then she calls over to the other barista, "I was right, Rachel! I knew it would work." Rachel turns to smile at us, too, through a fringe of dark hair.
Claire says, “You're so slow, Ian. Showing up and staring at her like a puppy but never talking. Goodness. Men." I hand her my credit card, and she rings up our coffee, shaking her head at Ian like a disappointed old schoolmistress with fourteen earrings in one ear.
As we walk to an empty table to wait for our coffees, Ian says, "I hope that made her day."
I move my chair closer to his, so our knees can touch.
Claire delivers our coffee, toast with marmalade for Ian, and chocolate croissant for me. She pats Ian on the hand. "So when was the first date?"
"Thursday," Ian says. "After she threw her pen at me."
"Thursday, and you're already cuddled up? I guess once he gets going he moves quickly. I never would have guessed that. Lucky Annie," she says to me. I nod and feel the flush on my neck.
"I didn't throw my pen, it was an accident but I did ask him out for a drink, " I tell Claire.
"You asked him?" Claire asks. "He didn't ask you?"
Ian says, "In my defense, Claire, I was going to ask; she was just faster."
Claire takes in our general closeness and says, "Ian was my first crush."
Ian stares at her. "What? Uh, what?"
"Yes, from the time I was ten to about fifteen, Ian, who was Mr. Hunt then, would come once a week to pick up the accounts for the shop. He was so nice to me. I was sure he would wait for me. I would marry him and have his babies. And so handsome then!"
I look at Ian, and he says, "I don't know what to say." Claire laughs and returns to the counter and after I tease him about being such a heartthrob all of four years ago, Ian asks, "Why did you cry this morning?"
"I told you," I say.
"Not something I did, then?"
"No. Well, yes, it was something you were doing." He looks a little stricken, and I put my hand over his. "Good things you were doing. You touch me just the way I always wanted. You do that. My husband was a good man, but never did; everything was one way and couldn't be changed. He didn't like to be touched or touch me much either, unless it was for sex. No hugs, no hand holding, or random kisses."
"Oh, fuck." Ian says. "That's just terrible." He pulls me closer and kisses my hair.
"It was just the way it was." Ian nods and I continue, "I never had what I really wanted and then getting it so surprisingly. Here. With you. I just thought it was like princesses and dragons, just fairytales." I look at his face and he is still listening but his eyes have gone blue-green. "So I just started crying." Ian nods, holding my hand now, fingers tight on mine.
“I’m sorry,” he says, That your experience of sex was like that. I wouldn’t have guessed it, though.”
“And something else - I used to look forward to you coming here, to the cafe, so I could look at you. I really had no idea you even knew I existed," I tell him.
"I knew," Ian says. "I am slow."
"You're good at looking without someone knowing," I tell him.
"I don't want to be a creeper. I'm fully aware I'm in creepy old man territory now," Ian says.
"Not if you're 55, love. Then you're in regular creepy man territory."
"Oh, thanks so much," Ian says and laughs.
Ian takes me back to my flat so I can get some work done. I'm behind from the distractions of the last few days. He kisses me goodbye at the door. He has work to do as well. When I'm in my flat, I think I can still smell him in the air but realize it's because I washed with his soap this morning. I spend a stupid amount of time smelling my arms.
I set up the easel and arrange my supplies and the drawings in the order I will work on them. I think if I use colored pencils with a watercolor wash they will be perfect, but I do scan them so I can test to get the right effects. I have a kick-ass scanner and printer.
After several hours, I take a break and glance at my phone. Text from Ian asking how it's going. Text about plumbing from my daughter, my agent asking about progress. I answer while having some juice and a carrot, saving the one from Ian for last.
I call Ian, and we laugh about the soap. He asks if I would like to have dinner, but I decline. I realize I'm tired and very much need to have a quiet night by myself. When I am done for the day, I am pleased with the progress I have made. I make some dinner and have some wine, looking out my windows at the lovely trees. I notice two yellow leaves at the top of the tree closest to my window. They remind me that there are only five months left. I feel a surge of panic in my chest.
I take a bath in the deep tub. I want a bathtub like this for my house and hope I can find one like it in the States. I wonder if I will have to import one. Would the fittings match up? Would I have to import a plumber, too? When I have dried off, and brushed my teeth, I call Ian. He answers after two rings. I hear the television in the background.
"What are you doing?" I ask.
"Not watching telly and wondering what you're doing. What are you doing?" he asks.
"I just had a bath. Want to come over?" I ask.
"Ten minutes," he says and hangs up.
I pull on an old tee shirt and panties. I turn on the light in the bedroom and make sure the covers are neat. Ten minutes is forever and no time at all.
When Ian arrives, I buzz him in and can hear the creak of the fourth stair. He knocks on my door and I have it open before he has finished.
"Hi!" I say.
He has a small paper carrier bag in his hand, which he holds out to me before stepping inside and shutting the door. He locks it behind him and kisses me on the lips. I think about asking if he wants to keep me, but I don't. I take the bag and am about to look inside when he scoops me up and carries me as if I weigh nothing, to the sofa where he sits down with me and the bag, still in his arms, now on his lap. His hands are quickly under my shirt, stroking my skin and my arms are around his shoulders, his neck. We kiss like teenagers, urgently, passionately, as if kissing might be banned, or Mom and Dad will walk in. Best kisses, never-ending, delicious kisses. His face is stubbly, and I love it; his hands are chilly from being outside, and I love that, too.
I'm holding his ear in my fingers, arm around his neck while he caresses my thigh and kisses my neck. I'm shivering against him, the electrical chemical reaction just as strong as it was for our first kiss, maybe more.
"I'm glad you called," he says into my neck.
"Me too." His hand is solid, warming a little against the skin under my shirt along my spine, his other hand moving up my leg and just tracing the outline of my pussy over my panties. I know I groan, and I'm afraid I'm going to cry again. I lace my fingers through his and bring them to my lips. His fingers are long and fine, and I put his index finger in my mouth and suck it, sliding my tongue along it, tasting his fingerprints.
"Oh, fuck." Ian says as I suck each of his fingers in turn. He watches intently. I feel his cock twitch against the back of my thigh.
"What's in the bag?" I ask when I can breathe again.
"Go see," he says and lets go of me and I disentangle myself from him so I can retrieve the bag from the floor where it fell and hold it out to him.
"Look inside," he says. I open it and look. Inside is a new toothbrush, for him, I assume, an apple, and a new bar of soap. I smell the soap. It is the soap I used this morning, something spicy and a little sweet.
"Oh, Ian, thank you for all of this! So sweet. You didn't buy it on the way over? You didn't have time!" I say, answering my own question,
"No, I got the toothbrush this afternoon. I was feeling hopeful. And I had soap and apples at home." I'm still sitting on the floor with the bag, almost between his legs. I put the bag on the low table, and move to the left so I am between his legs. I untie his shoes.