It was a calm night. Only a handful of customers had found their way into big ol' Tom's tavern; just a few people sharing some short episodes of their lives while having a beer or two. That was until a young woman in her mid-twenties appeared. Her shaky feet gave away her insecurity. Hesitantly, she was slowly heading for the bar.
“This is the bar. So that makes you big ol' Tom?” she hastily asked, her voice trembling.
The elderly man looked up while filling a pint for one of his customers.
Once sat down on a barstool, she went on, “Bring me a Whiskey coke. Nah... leave the coke, and fill the glass with just your cheapest whiskey. That's just for the comfortable buzz. And get me an additional beer, so I'll have something to drink while I tell every one of you my story!”
She had hardly finished her sentence as everyone rallied around her to listen closely to her words. She took a deep breath through her nose that she slowly exhaled, eyes closed, as if she were meditating. Only as her ears registered the characteristic sound of two full glasses being placed on the mahogany bar, she opened her eyes again.
“OK, listen up folks. 'cause here we go.”
----------
Where do I start? Maybe where it all began... Would make the most sense, I guess.
As every story about ruined friendship, it starts way back in time. I was best friends with the girl next door, Ann. And I emphasize 'was' again.
I was an only child. Well... I didn't have a sibling because both of my parents were hard-working people. I always knew that they were working for our family. I always knew that they were having themselves a hard time affording to raise a child. But I would always have preferred being poor, and having someone to play with over sitting alone at home for hours on end every single day. That was until we moved into that neighborhood; into the house right next to Ann's family.
Her situation was pretty similar to mine: she was an only child as well; and as it was for me, her greatest wish was to have someone to play with. The only difference there is that her parents had actually tried to have a second child... in vain. It turned out, someday, that her father was quasi infertile, and that the first pregnancy of Ann's mother had been a pure miracle.
I can remember the first time we met as if it happened yesterday. Oh my... I already sound like standing with one foot in the grave!
It was the day right after we had moved in. Ann and I were both nine years old. I was running around in our garden, humming some random melody, when, suddenly, I felt the presence of someone standing not far away from me. Our eyes locked. A smile flashed across both our faces from the sight of a hypothetical new friend. There weren't many children in that neighborhood—actually just the two of us.
Without hesitating, I ran back into our new home and yelled for Mommy. Of course, she allowed me to go over, and meet my soon-to-be friend.
Back in the garden, that other girl was the one to break the ice, “I'm Ann. But you can call me what you like. Except for Piggy, that's what Mommy calls me when I dirtied something.”
It took me a while until I figured out the name I'd call her from that moment on. “OK. I'll call you Annana, that sounds funny. I'm Sheryl, but call me what you like too.”
“Uhm... I'll call you Lala, because you were humming a beautiful melody.”
That was the moment when the foundation of a friendship unimaginably deep was built. I won't bore you guys off with too many details about our mutual childhood. That's not what I wanted to tell you about, so I'll quickly rush through the most important stages until I get to the point.
So, um... I spent the better part of the subsequent years in the house next door, playing with Annana. My parents were overly happy to have found someone for me to play with during my time alone. Annana's parents were happy too. I often had the feeling they were seeing something like a compensation for their inability to conceive a second child in me. However, it was clear to me that I had my very own parents.
The friendship between Annana and me grew deeper and deeper over all the years. I was invited to join them on vacation countless times. We did everything you can imagine together.
Then came the day my dad finally got promoted. From one day to the next, we belonged to the more wealthy people as well.
My parent's initial plan had been to move to a better part of the city as soon as we'd benefit from greater earnings, but they quickly realized what Annana and I had grown into. Thus, moving away from this neighborhood was out of the question. We stayed in that house, went on vacation on ourselves from time to time, always making sure Annana would join us.
Even as Annana and I grew older and started discovering our interest in the other sex at the age of sixteen or seventeen... Even then we remained the best friends you could possibly imagine. Whenever one of us had a crush on a boy, the other would test him out first. Oh yes, he had to pass the make-out test first. There was a time we even shared the same boyfriend. Yes, we also shared him in bed, but that's a whole other story. No reason to drool... not for now, at least.
And then, one day our ways parted. We had enrolled ourselves at different colleges. She went to study biology, while I had applied for business school. But, well, even the four hours' car ride that separated us wouldn't really keep us apart. We were sending each other letters and stuff and kept on seeing each other whenever we spent a few days at our parents'. We had to get used to not hearing from each other for a day or two.
So now it's time to get a little more serious here. As I said, we wouldn't hear from each other for a day or so. That was perfectly normal. But all of a sudden, there was one whole week of dead silence from Annana. I didn't receive any letter from her, not a single call. Just nothing. And she wouldn't pick up the phone either. Neither did her parents. So I decided to go check on them the next time I went to see my parents. As I came home that Friday evening, I found my parents, Annana and her dad sitting around the kitchen table, waiting for me to arrive.
Annana was the first to speak, “Lala, I'm really sorry I didn't answer your calls, but—” she didn't finish her sentence, for her voice was too heavy.
Her father had his eyes glued to the oak table as if he were analyzing each fiber of the wooden surface while my parents were patiently waiting for me to sit with them.
I left out the obvious 'what happened'-question, and let my mother answer it before I could even think of asking. “Sit down, Sheryl, darling. We have some horrible news to share. Our neighbor... Ann's mother has passed away.”
The shock hit me right in my guts. What had Mom just said? Linda, Annana's mother, had died? When? Where? How? So many questions...
“She got involved in a horrible car accident a few days ago. She still breathed when they took her out of the car wreck; however, the doctors said she was very unlikely to survive. They tried everything to bring her back. And this morning, her heart just gave up,” completed Dad.
I felt a sting in my stomach spreading across my chest right towards my face. It heated up my cheeks. I felt my eyes burn from the pressure on my tear sacs. The first tears ran over my face as I tried to look into anyone's eyes.
Annana was the first to stand up and hug me. No, it wasn't a hug. She almost crushed my body with her arms. Her embrace was an expression of sadness, anger and desperation—a cry for answers.
We all spent that weekend as one big family solacing each other, trying to gather our feelings. It was a great loss for both of our families.
Unfortunately, it was right in the middle of my exams. I had two weeks of them ahead, and then three months of summer vacation.
Having some spare time besides my summer job as a swimming teacher at the local open-air pool, I offered Annana's father, Jim, to call me whenever he needed anything or anyone to talk to. He gratefully accepted the offer since Annana was working on the same job as I did, but on different shifts. This way, he'd always have someone around to look after him, or, in need, lend him a shoulder to lean on.
Annana did call me frequently to have someone to just talk to, but Jim was different. It took him four weeks to finally call me, and ask me if I was willing to listen to his laments. That was the first time he had gathered the courage to call someone else than his daughter.
So that time, I went to see him right after my shift at the pool. It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon, and I just had had a calm, lazy morning: just two boys who were really easy to handle. Well... Teenage boys sure are easy to handle if you're in your early twenties, and have a good pair of arguments under your bikini top, right? Oh yes, I can see you guys nodding!
The door flung open, and I saw a tiredly smiling Jim. He was happy to see me, but still, an undeniable sadness hung in his eyes. He hugged me closely and thanked me for coming over on such short notice. He offered me to have coffee and ice cream on his terrace; an irresistible combination with that hot weather.
We had a good chit-chat about nothing in particular. I was convinced that mentioning his lost wife would have been crude and indecent, so I eventually let him pop the subject from alone. He told me about the emptiness he sometimes felt creeping across his belly. He also talked about how he had been sitting beside her, holding her hand as her heartbeat slowly faded. He told me he realized more and more how much his wife had filled his life during their twenty-eight years of wedlock. Sometimes, he had to pause while talking, for tears started peeking out of his eyes all from alone.
During a short moment of silence, he looked at me, and said, “Listen, Sheryl. There's something you could help me with. Well... Only if you really like to. Ann wouldn't help me—I know that—but it's more of a symbolic act. You know, something to mark a fresh start. I just feel like it's time to leave all the sadness behind. And I think you can help me fix that.”
I replied with a puzzled look.
“There's an old wing chair downstairs in our basement,” he started explaining. “It's an old piece I inherited from my Grampa. Linda hated that chair. That's why it's in our basement, hidden from her gaze. But now that she's not here anymore, I can put it back in the living room. I don't ask you to understand, but I can think of it as a new start. Ann's gonna kill me, I know. She probably won't understand either. But that's OK. I'll figure out a way to explain to her.”
We went downstairs to get that stupid wing chair. I mean, he was a man in his early fifties who had just lost his wife. Whatever he wanted to cheer up. So what the hell?
The moment we intended to lift this rather bulky thing, I realized what I had agreed to. That thing had to weigh like a goddamn ton or so. That thing upstairs? You gotta be kidding me? The hell he was! It had to go upstairs.
“Better be worth it,” I thought with every single damn one of these fourteen steps I counted on the way up that stairwell.
Once we had that thing in the living room, I let myself fall onto it. I was totally exhausted. Jim's state, however, really impressed me. Although he was just a little more than twice as old as I was, he didn't seem to have had any trouble carrying that huge piece of junk all that way up. And me? I had thought I was the young and strong one among us? Don't think so...
“I think we earned ourselves something, huh?” he said, looking at me who was lazily lying on said chair.
No... You really couldn't call my lascivious pose sitting. My legs were spread apart enough to make the crotch of my hot pants clench my pubic area. Poor Jim had lots of trouble taking his eyes off it, but I was just too lazy to shift myself into a more decent pose.
“Let's grab ourselves a beer,” he finished his proposition.
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, but you'll get it. I won't move another finger for whatever you ask me today, old man.”
He laughed out loud and went to the kitchen to get those beers he'd been talking about. He came back with two ice-cold cans—no glasses. Why would we need those anyway? He sat down on the couch, facing me.
“Listen, Sheryl. I wanna thank you for helping me with this. It means a lot to me. And, well... How about having dinner with me and Ann? Let's say tomorrow night at eight? As a little thank you. Whatcha say?”
I agreed to his offer, for I knew what an outstanding cook Jim was. So I joined him and Annana for dinner the next day. That marked the beginning of us hanging out together daily basis.
Jim was a passionate chess player, and he offered me to play with him. I knew chess as well. I was lousy, but agreed anyway. So each day, we'd play our two or three games of chess. Jim was always sitting on his wing chair for each of our games. He had been right about the wing chair. Once he had somehow explained its meaning to Annana, it really started acting as something like a new beginning. He quickly started thinking less about Linda. And whenever he did, it was more distant. It was as though that old moldy chair was an anchor for a new beginning, just like he had said. Sure, it was ugly, and old, and muggy—call it whatever you want—but it was really comfortable. It just needed a little restoration here and there.
Eventually, it had become a habit of mine to go check on him as soon as I had finished my shift at the pool. We'd wait for Annana to come home from her shift, and have a good evening with her.
After a week or two, the relationship between Jim and me had turned into a very close friendship. He didn't actually need my support anymore, but we still kept on seeing each other. It was the games of chess. Both of us were really enjoying them.
As the weeks kept on rolling by, I started seeing another side of his. I started feeling attracted towards him. I started feeling a need to be close to him, the more I stayed with him. And then came the day I simply had to admit to myself that I had fallen for that man twenty-seven years my senior.
In the beginning, I thought this was just a momentary rush of hormones, a phase, nothing to be really excited about. I tried to lock these feelings away by constantly telling me it was just my mind playing tricks on me. Little did I know that these feelings haunting me were just the beginning of this tragedy.
I didn't tell Jim. I didn't want to startle him with my twisted little hormonal issues. There were many arguments speaking against us being lovers—too many. He had just lost his wife, so why confront him with my meaningless feelings? But more importantly, he was the father of my blood sister. She would never ever forgive me—never! Keep that line in mind, folks.
So I tried my best to remain casual whenever I went to see him. I remember all those countless times I got friend-zoned by him. And every time, it felt like he was rubbing it in a little more. It was a horrible time. I was convinced that he had no clue about my feelings towards him.
That was until that one day I came over. Jim welcomed me with our usual hug. At least, I thought our daily embrace was nothing worth mentioning until I realized he held me closer than usual, and that he was lingering. Not for long though; just these few extra seconds that make the difference. Did he know about my secret crush on him? I started blaming myself for not acting casually enough. However, there were no further hints in his behavior that suggested he knew. Maybe I was just being hysteric about that one insignificant event? Yes, I was. Or no, I wasn't? I didn't know, but it filled my head with an endless flood of thoughts.
After three games I lost very badly due to my never-ending stream of distracting thoughts, I excused myself, and almost ran to the bathroom. A loud slamming noise was heard as I shut it behind me. I looked into the mirror to find my pale face. I put both my hands on the sink, and leaned on it. I lowered my eyes. It took me two deep and slow breaths to be able to look into the mirror again. Then I adjusted my tiny skirt.
I don't know why, but I had chosen my whole outfit tighter and skimpier than usual. I had been thinking of Jim while picking it. Anticipation? Post-juvenile naiveté? Just the thrill of making that poor old man crazy? I don't know... I finally turned around and walked back to the door.
As my hand touched the doorknob, I felt a cold shiver running down my spine. The hair on the back of my neck stood up as if electrified. A warm feeling spread across my belly right to my groin. My pussy inexplicably flooded my bikini bottoms. My heart was pounding furiously as I hesitantly pulled the door open.
Shock! Jim was standing right before me, his hand clenched to a fist, hanging in the air, as though to knock on the door. Neither of us spoke a word. My lips moved, but they didn't make a sound. His mouth loosely hung open, slowly closing. All the thoughts that had haunted my mind suddenly blacked out. My head was completely out. Blankness.
He did the move. Yes, it was him. He kissed me. I was so surprised that I couldn't even return the kiss. It was just a shy and quick peck, hardly even touching my lips. My eyes couldn't find what to look at. I was confused.