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why do some women dislike to be given oral. all I want is to please.

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Active Ink Slinger
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If you want to please her, don't try to do it. It could be physical or psychological, but the fact remains that she doesn't like it.
Different people have different turn ons and turn offs. You just have to deal with it or move on.
Lurker
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Derek's dead on here. The WHY doesn't make any difference. It's a she does or doesn't situation. On the plus side a great many DO enjoy it. SO, you have a choice, either the one who DOESN'T (knowing that might never change) OR find one of the MANY ( as in great vast majority!) who DO!

Looking down something about BITING is BAD?
Active Ink Slinger
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Maybe she feels she'd have to reciprocate and maybe she finds that idea unpalatable. It could be she only likes to cum once (believe or not that's what some women want, no matter what you may read here) in which case she'll prefer the main course rather than a starter. There are also some women who treat oral as a submissive act - if she likes to be in the submissive role in sex she may not like receiving oral

I'm sure there are plenty of other reasons too (maybe she knows she tastes like old gym shoes)
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Lurker
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Quote by dpw
If you want to please her, don't try to do it. It could be physical or psychological, but the fact remains that she doesn't like it.
Different people have different turn ons and turn offs. You just have to deal with it or move on.

Absolutely...

From a girls perspective: some girls are uncomfortable with their own bodies, hung up on how they look, think their pussies are ugly(crazy but true),are afraid it tastes smells bad, are insecure, or uptight. Or maybe she just doesn't like it.
Advanced Wordsmith
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I love oral sex - giving and receiving.
But my aim is to always pleasure the lady.
If it is a long term relationship, the time may come where we discuss it. But there are always other ways to pleasure a woman. If a man does not know them it is high time he learned!
Active Ink Slinger
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Honestly I've had several guys offer but only one to follow through with licking me and I think I dislike it because after several attempts he couldn't get me off and refused to try any more. So I dislike it based on my past. If another guy wanted to try i wouldn't tell him no however
Active Ink Slinger
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Then please her by not pushing the subject. Some girls and men do not like to do it or have it done to them.
Lurker
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Quote by dpw
If you want to please her, don't try to do it. It could be physical or psychological, but the fact remains that she doesn't like it.
Different people have different turn ons and turn offs. You just have to deal with it or move on.


This.

Quote by shyKatlyn
Then please her by not pushing the subject. Some girls and men do not like to do it or have it done to them.


And this.

My thoughts exactly.
Active Ink Slinger
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I am really amazed at the question and some of the responses.
I have never had a partner male or female who didn't enjoy receiving oral sex.
What's not to enjoy about it?
Big-haired Bitch
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Quote by alison90
I am really amazed at the question and some of the responses.
I have never had a partner male or female who didn't enjoy receiving oral sex.
What's not to enjoy about it?


The short answer is different strokes, different folks. There are many things we enjoy as women that we may find unfathomable for other women not to enjoy.

Some women are just very insecure about that sort of thing. Some women are extra sensitive and the things one woman finds stimulating may actually trigger pain in another woman.

I love oral sex, but I find it very intimate and therefore awkward during casual encounters. As a result, I seldom (if ever, now that I think about it) fully enjoy it during casual encounters. It's like forcing a bond that just isn't there. Oral, to me, goes hand in hand with closeness and trust and other related elements. But that's just me...

░P░U░S░S░Y░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░O░


Active Ink Slinger
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I have never met one but I suppose they are out there.
They just don't know what's good for them.
Rainbow Warrior
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Is this a repeated reaction, or just the first time you offered? If its the first time, she may just not be quite ready for so close an intimacy, but if this happens every time, she has an established preference, and/or a reason for not wanting it, so don't push it, and just enjoy what you've got with her. Just last night I was with a girl who had never been with another girl before, and she was self-conscious about me wanting to go down on her. So we kissed, sucked each others nipples, and brought each other to climax with our fingers, but she said next time she thought she would be willing to try it (cunnilingus), she just needed to get used to the idea of being that intimate with another woman. So, talk about it when this objection comes up, and without pressure or judgment, find out whether she's hesitant for a temporary reason, or adamant in her preferences.
Lurker
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Quote by dandydonhard123


The only reason one can think of may be they are not confident of their body.
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by BethanyFrasier
Is this a repeated reaction, or just the first time you offered? If its the first time, she may just not be quite ready for so close an intimacy, but if this happens every time, she has an established preference, and/or a reason for not wanting it, so don't push it, and just enjoy what you've got with her. Just last night I was with a girl who had never been with another girl before, and she was self-conscious about me wanting to go down on her. So we kissed, sucked each others nipples, and brought each other to climax with our fingers, but she said next time she thought she would be willing to try it (cunnilingus), she just needed to get used to the idea of being that intimate with another woman. So, talk about it when this objection comes up, and without pressure or judgment, find out whether she's hesitant for a temporary reason, or adamant in her preferences.

She could not have chosen a better partner to begin with.
Lurker
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I've had partners who, for whatever reason, didn't like receiving oral... (I think it's mostly 'cos a minority of women think it's ICKY, which comes from (bad) early imprinting.) It happens.

For me, that's a deal-breaker. So what do you do?

You don't push the issue, for a start. So you kiss her belly at the top of her panties. And then LEAVE IT... You kiss her legs up as far as her thighs... AND THEN STOP... And VERY VERY GRADUALLY, over weeks at least, PUSH IT... Kiss her on her pants OVER her puss. GENTLY!!! (Lovingly...) THEN LEAVE IT... Eventually, she'll STOP saying STOP... You have to be very very patient.

It's about confidence. (You have to GIVE her that confidence...) You have to make sure she's comfortable with the pace. It can take weeks!

An Analogy: It's possible to feed a Wild Garden Little Bird from your fingertips. But FIRST you have to gain trust. It takes ages.


But it's possible, and so worth it! (For HER too!)

xx SF

(BTW you also have to do things like FINGER her then suck your fingers and tell her how sweet she tastes... SO SHE CAN SEE YOU LIKE DOING THAT...)
Prolific Writer
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Holy Hell....I can't imagine a woman not liking oral.

That's like saying you don't like ice cream.

I just don't get that at all.

I FUCKING LOVE IT......

I love to give and I absolutely love to receive.

I DEMAND IT......

xoxooxox


I would think you need to discuss this with her. Maybe you could play with toys and then try to do oral with each other. I mean it is the kind of thing that has to be done gently. I wouldn't force it on her. It should be something that you both like to do together. Like when you 69 each other.

Maybe if you introduce food into it....Like whip cream or they sell flavored lotions that you can use on each other. Oral sex is something that should be enjoyed together. There is nothing better then having an oral orgasm.....

xo
Active Ink Slinger
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I am sure there are woman out there who do not care for Cunnilingus but for the life of me I can not think of one reason why this could be true.

I would venture that this relates to her childhood, when she was taught such an action was vile and in violation of Gods Law.

Even if a man is not very good at this skill and many must be taught. It still is very pleasant.

But if your woman has repeatedly rejected the idea I think you should follow her request.

But then if she was with a woman it may be different.

Oh yes I do to teach such techniques
Lurker
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I find funny that some seem to think that if you don't love cunnilingus you are necessarily traumatized by something or very self-conscious about your body.

I'm sure that's true for some, so it's good to consider that option. But the possibility of the woman just simply having other preferences should be considered as well, I think.
The Bee's Knees
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oral sex is a rather intimate experience. she may have a problem being totally exposed. it could actually be a number of things. don't push the issue. let her know you're willing to talk about it if she wants. but above all respect her wishes.

Say. Her. Name.


Active Ink Slinger
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Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by SweetHoneydew
Absolutely...

From a girls perspective: some girls are uncomfortable with their own bodies, hung up on how they look, think their pussies are ugly(crazy but true),are afraid it tastes smells bad, are insecure, or uptight. Or maybe she just doesn't like it.


I couldn't agree more SweetHoneydew, I know my wife liked it but couldn't get over the insecurity's of her body.
Rookie Scribe
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Well, I dont know about the other ladies in my society since it's rather conservative over here, but I love both giving and receiving oral. Unfortunately my SO is pretty wet behind the ears when it comes to sex. He's a fast learner but, unfortunately, since we're in a LDR, he hasn't had the opportunity to perfect his technique. But as some people have already pointed out, some like it, some just don't. You can't force it. But in my relationship, we give and take when it comes to sex. He has some kinks I'm not really that into and I have things he's not into, but every now and again, we indulge each other to make our experience in bed fair and square.
Active Ink Slinger
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I love oral sex. Talk to your girlfriend and find out
What you are doing wrong. Make it safe for a woman to tell you her wants and needs. She might just return the favor
Have lots of fun
Active Ink Slinger
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I have never met anyone who doesn't like it but then everyone is different or it would be a boring world if everyone was the same.
Lurker
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First this question is incredibly silly. Why does anyone not like anything? single word answer PREFERENCES.

I am one of these women that dislike oral sex. For me it's uncomfortable, feels like when someone you don't like tries to give you a hug. That awkward, uncomfortable feeling. The thought of someone putting their mouth on my vagina, licking, drooling, possibly snotting all over it, does nothing for me. I also get bored, like I want to just start conversation "Hey, how's it going down there?"...

I catch a lot of slack on this subject when I admit to not liking it. The biggest comment I get is "You just haven't had it done right" <--- that pisses me off more than anything in the world. I'm a grown woman, and by now I know my likes and dislikes.

In short, if all you want to do is please, NEVER question someone's personal preferences. Trust she knows what she likes! It's not about your WANT to please her... it's about her being pleased.
Common Sense Iconoclast
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Quote by Sluttyredhead
Honestly I've had several guys offer but only one to follow through with licking me and I think I dislike it because after several attempts he couldn't get me off and refused to try any more. So I dislike it based on my past. If another guy wanted to try i wouldn't tell him no however


Sorry to hear that you have not yet experienced someone that can help. Naturally, I could help, and have helped a few others in that area. It does take a lot of planets to align, so to speak, but when it does, it's pretty awesome! And, it gets easier after the first success. in my experience, anyway... :P
"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than open one's mouth and remove all doubt" - Mark Twain (or Lincoln, or Confucius, or...)
Common Sense Iconoclast
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Quote by stephanie

I've had partners who, for whatever reason, didn't like receiving oral... (I think it's mostly 'cos a minority of women think it's ICKY, which comes from (bad) early imprinting.) It happens.

For me, that's a deal-breaker. So what do you do?

You don't push the issue, for a start. So you kiss her belly at the top of her panties. And then LEAVE IT... You kiss her legs up as far as her thighs... AND THEN STOP... And VERY VERY GRADUALLY, over weeks at least, PUSH IT... Kiss her on her pants OVER her puss. GENTLY!!! (Lovingly...) THEN LEAVE IT... Eventually, she'll STOP saying STOP... You have to be very very patient.

It's about confidence. (You have to GIVE her that confidence...) You have to make sure she's comfortable with the pace. It can take weeks!

An Analogy: It's possible to feed a Wild Garden Little Bird from your fingertips. But FIRST you have to gain trust. It takes ages.


But it's possible, and so worth it! (For HER too!)

xx SF

(BTW you also have to do things like FINGER her then suck your fingers and tell her how sweet she tastes... SO SHE CAN SEE YOU LIKE DOING THAT...)


Best advice, if ever there were a chance.

But I also have to agree that there is no point trying if her mind is not into it.
"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than open one's mouth and remove all doubt" - Mark Twain (or Lincoln, or Confucius, or...)