One thing I don't see talked about much on here is aftercare. We all know that finding someone is important and how to find them. The things you do with them. What hard and soft limits someone has. What about aftercare? I know for me, after having rough play time, I need some love. For example: Having my ass rubbed with lotion after an intense canning or paddling, or even just cuddling.
Subs, what are the top 3 aftercare things a Dom can do to help you recalibrate back to normal?
Doms, what are the top 3 aftercare things you enjoy/need to give a sub after a play session?
First I need to be put in a place so that I can come down from my state of euphoria because I'm usually in a complete daze after. So he's been putting me in the corner right after ( I would love a cage), after that I get water, and we cuddle and process.
After care is an important component to the scene. If you have done your job correctly your sub is coming down from one hell of an endorphin rush. I can also be the perfect time to talk and decompress. I also often used it as a time to begin setting in motion the next scene.
B: Oh god - this is such a must. When I'm coming down from a really good trip I need this. Sir is always good about it. Cuddles, a warm blanket, something to snack on - the standard stuff is a given. He's also the type to carry me into the bed and maybe give me a short, but relaxing massage. Sometimes it's a warm bath with him - he's got this wonderful corner tub that fits all three of us.
I was with one 'dom' years ago who's idea of aftercare was to sit and wait for me to come out of it on my own - needless to say, our one long scene was our LAST scene.
I think of "Aftercare" being like a Treatment center "aftercare." It seems like a very fitting term, though for this. That is exactly what it is "care." I am fairly new and we do not get that extreme yet. For those that "care" ~ yes you have to have a downtime and a relax and a rest the heated, hot, sore and painful bum/and all other things! ^0^
Depends on the person, and depends on the relationship.
It would also depend, I think, on the standard and relative level of intimacy in each particular D/s relationship.
Some people are not cuddlers. I wasn't.
Some people 'baby' better than others....
That said, neosporin will forever be a friend, and flexible bandaids, etc. IF I ever need something from rough play. Cold packs sound like a good idea and that pampering and attentive, make dinner or order out for you, cover you, tend to, kiss your head, warm towel, place a pillow... Isn't it a lot like an injury or a person being sick? How well your Dom does, or whoever, is just what it is, but the after needs will ultimately fall to that person/me.
The after climax sex has become a very special and happy aspect of enjoying each other and the fruits of our labor. Physical needs that your body needs have to taken care of. We really enjoy what comes after too. We enjoy what we do and what we say.
I think you should treat someone the way you would want to be treated in that case, or that the partner should.
We just treat each other that way anyway, but more so whatever we need: Sleep, a stretch & cuddle on the sofa to watch a movie and all needs accessible right there... a soak in the bath... etc. My mate is right there. "What can I get you?" Can I wash your ...back?" XD Just because he is a Dom, a very natural D in his role, doesn't mean he is not sensitive to my needs or wants in a softer, affectionate way too... kissing and comforting, listening and caring. Mine is a Daddy-Dom though, it grew into that and is on a kinky end of that, so he feels a major responsibilty to see to my needs and care at all times like that. It works.
