Do we choose what are sexuality is or does it choose us? Are we born gay, bi, straight, and transgendered? Do our parents play a role? Our friends? Things we watch, or listen to? Is this like a chicken before the egg type of question?
Sexual partners are the choice, what we desire to do with them is what and who we are.
I don't think this is as simple as it sounds. I believe sexuality is a continuum and that we all lie somewhere on a line from straight to gay. I also think you can move around a bit on that line. What about paedophiles? Are they born like that or do they get perverted somewhere along the way?
I think you need to look even further back, agreed we are born something we have no choice in. What body we are given may not be the body that we feel perfectly at peace with. It's very similar with sexuality all children experiment in many ways not just sexually. Let's say a girl enjoyed playing with cars by no means does it mean that she will go on to being a mechanic or turn lesbian.
Interesting to ask this question at a time when those who insist that homosexuality is a choice are now seriously in retreat. Of course, when I told a longtime female friend that I'd concluded that I'm bisexual, she opined that based on her experience (marriage, divorce, 30 years plus of nursing) that when it comes to sex just about all guys are sexual omnivores - open to sex with just about anyone and maybe anything! For me, it was a choice not to act upon the indications that I might be bi - actually remember concluding that trying to figure out one gender - women - and how to relate to them was enough of a challenge for one lifetime.
no, how you discover what you like is.
my witty cum-back is on its way
How do you choose "That right there turns me on!" I think you just gravitate to what attracts you.
I think a lot of things influence one's sexual orientation, but I've never been wholly convinced that genetics is one of them. Our sexual preferences are determined, in part, by our environment, our experiences in life and our interactions with other people.
I wrote a lot more but, in a forum environment, I run a high risk of unintentionally offending someone. That doesn't do the discussion any good so I'll leave it at that.
To me the most important question is, Does it matter? Should anyone really be given a hard time for being gay or bi even if it is a choice? Sorry Jake, I know I kind of veered off topic, but I just had to throw my opinion out there.
i think it is very much a choice yes parents and role models may have a part to play and friends but it is all part of the mix
IMHO, no, it's not.
My cousin told me he realized he was gay when he was 14 ... and didn't want to be ...
After two tours in the Marine Corps (he associated being tough with being straight), and two marriages ... He was still gay
So then he became a born-again Christian, thinking God would "fix" him ....
God apparently had other ideas .....
He was 42 before he finally admitted to himself that he was gay, and nothing was going to change that
I want to quickly add that I disagree with everyone who says that no one would choose to be gay because of all the prejudice.
Maybe it's to do with where I live, but the gay people I know just do not come up against very much hate at all. The fact that they're gay rather than heterosexual doesn't have a significant impact on their daily life.
Also, there are TONS of people who are complete drama-seekers, and would happily decide to be gay just to get a rise out of certain people (often their families) and stir the pot.
And you guys have the best parades so...
You are who you are, and You are who you choose to be. Stop making excuses for youselves and just accept who you are.
At what point does anything become choice? When the will acts. We can all sit here and deny that ''will'' was acted upon, make excuses, (we were just sitting around and i kissed her and all of sudden we were doing it , ie. ) it doesn't matter where or how the will is acted upon it is still the will that acts. At that point it is choice.
Trying to break down the elements of ''choice'' into a billion bits and analyzing that makes no sense at all. It became choice when the will was acted upon by an action or activity.
The best thing to do in regards to this, for a person's psychological well being, is admit you chose. Otherwise you are indulging in the biggest fantasy that can be presented to yourself.
There is one person on this earth that you absolutely need to be honest with and that is yourself.
Choice can be deliberate, it can be instantaneous, it doesn't matter, you will never be without it.
If you don't recognize that you have no chance of making it through. It is that old, ''personal responsibility," thingie, the teachers, and our authorities, (whomever they are,) used to try to drill into our heads.
Don't avoid it.
I do not believe it is.
My oldest son is gay. He's 54 now, I think, and we noticed it before he was 10. I am straight and I love him. Some of his friends are rather weird though.
Can it be? Probably, I've known several who said they switched, but I think they were gay and did not want to admit it because of family and social pressure.
Does it matter? Not one fricking bit.
What a very interesting discussion...
I've written upon Lush before about my own experiences and won't bore you all by repetition BUT perhaps in view of the discussion the writings of those who DEFINED themselves as gay or lesbian yet later discovered love, family and indeed sexual fulfillment with a member of the opposite sex might be enlightening.
The English singer and Gay Activist Tom Robinson fell in love and remains happily married to a woman.
The English actor/writer/author Jackie Clune was an avowed lesbian for years before eventually marrying the man who became father to her four children.
In NO WAY do I wish to disparage those who define themselves as exclusively lesbian or gay. Of course not.
I MIGHT suggest that, as society becomes more accepting of sexual difference in terms of traditional models, the NATURE of sexual attraction in terms of gender becomes more complex.
What we can accept is that the concept of romantic and operable love is closely related to sexual attraction and that attraction is not always limited to self-assigned gender codes be they genetic or socially based.
I need not say I presume that Love is the most pleasurable experience in life and must be appreciated and enjoyed wherever and whenever it it received and accepted.
Is sexuality a choice?
I'd have to say probably not. But the wider question is 'Is LOVE a choice?' (And I think we all know it isn't.)
xx Steph
Sexual orientation? I think it is part of who we are.
What we do in our lives ... be with men, women or nobody? That's more of a choice.
