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Is It So Hard To Believe? Options · View
Shylass
Posted: Saturday, February 04, 2012 10:52:27 PM

Rank: Gingerbread Lover

Joined: 1/6/2012
Posts: 3,595
Location: Trumpton, United Kingdom
Why is it so difficult for some people to believe and/or accept that somebody can be a virgin in their 20s/30s+?

There are lots of reasons for it which I don't think we need to go into, but seriously, why is it such a problem for a lot of non-virgins?

Some of them say there is something wrong with them, others say something must be done about it, and quite a few call them liars.

I know being a virgin is a problem for a lot of virgins too, and it would be nice to read your thoughts on how you feel about your virginity, and how others react to you (PM is fine if you don't want to post!), but for all those of you who aren't a virgin, are you bothered about people who are? Is it hard to comprehend/understand? Do you really think they're lying? I would love to know your thoughts.

Thank you in advance.


Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.

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Guest
Posted: Saturday, February 04, 2012 11:35:35 PM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,713
I am not bothered by them, I don't think they're liars, and I don't think anything is wrong with them. Although, I have to admit the "slutty virgins" here do leave me a bit confused. dontknow

On Lush, I've had the chance to talk to quite a few virgins. Almost without exception, they all seem to want to be de-virginized as soon as possible. I've always suggested that they should wait for someone special and not rush into de-virginizing. The only thing memorable about my first time was how unmemorable and unspecial it was. It's not like I lie awake thinking about my first time, but it would definitely be a do over given the opportunity. evil4

I recommend staying a virgin until the time is right. FFS, who cares what anyone else thinks about your virginity anyway? They've got their own issues and hangups, we all do.
loud_bkr
Posted: Sunday, February 05, 2012 3:04:32 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/24/2011
Posts: 5,449
Location: Fuct if I know
It is not hard to believe, and I commend you for waiting until you feel it is right for you.
And no, I don't believe they are lying.
There are some who wish they were still a virgin I expect ;)

So not a problem for me!!!


Catnip
Posted: Sunday, February 05, 2012 3:44:46 PM

Rank: Internet Sensation

Joined: 3/30/2009
Posts: 3,969
Location: Cloudy dreams., Sweden
I've not been a virgin for quite a while and I do find it a bit awkward to talk to virgins at times when it comes to sexual things. As I see it most virgins have a great interest in sex and read up on things and learn about details much more than a person who's no longer a virgin, therefore it's not really a great surprise that there are some virgins who play out their fantasies online. I mean, they basically feed their minds with all this information and splurge it out. The awkward part is that they talk a lot about sex and sexual things but they have no experiences of their own. I do get the same awkward feeling when talking to friends who's ever only had one partner. It feels strange to me that you can stick to one partner all of your life without wanting to try another man/woman out. Just to get a larger perspective of it all.

I've had sex with at least 3 virgins who were over 22. I must say that they've been much better than the ones who were below 20.

Mistress_of_words
Posted: Sunday, February 05, 2012 5:13:35 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/14/2011
Posts: 591
Location: At my keyboard, writing stories for you
I wrote a story about a virgin couple aged 23 (guy) and 20 (girl), and someone commented on the story to say it seemed unlikely.

I lost my virginity quite early, but, after that one time, I then wasn't with anyone till I was 18. I could quite easily imagine if things had worked out differently I could have still been a virgin in my 20s. It didn't happen that way for me, but it doesn't seem unlikely at all.

I definitely agree there is too much stigma and/or status attached to being a virgin.

Nikki703
Posted: Monday, February 06, 2012 7:58:21 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 8/7/2009
Posts: 12,667
Location: The Other Side Of The Mirror
In today's world it seems kids are having sex at much younger ages than in the past, so it does seem a little strange hearing of virgins in their 20's and especially their 30's. But that doesnt mean there is anything wrong with waiting. It is the choice, or at least it should be the choice of each individual when they have sex for the first time. Every one is different. Perhaps waiting until an older age will make it a more pleasurable first experience over those of us who gave it up at a younger age because you are more mentally ready. I dont know.

There is nothing wrong with waiting if that is what is right for you!!
Shylass
Posted: Monday, February 06, 2012 9:57:21 AM

Rank: Gingerbread Lover

Joined: 1/6/2012
Posts: 3,595
Location: Trumpton, United Kingdom
Thank you very much for your replies. icon_smile

Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.

***
********************************CLICK THE BANNERS TO BUY THESE WILLY-STIFFENING BOOKS!********************************
gwilliams85
Posted: Monday, February 06, 2012 4:44:14 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 2/6/2012
Posts: 9
Location: United States
It is hard to believe in, in that in today's world it is sort of uncommon. However just because something is uncommon it doesn't mean that it is bad. One of my friends is 25 and she is a virgin because she is waiting until she gets married, and I have no problem with that.
abygaleturner69
Posted: Monday, February 06, 2012 8:22:33 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 6/25/2011
Posts: 156
Location: My Condo, Belize
It's not hard to believe; I have known men and women alike that were virgins until their mid- 20's. Depending on a person's background it is possible there are virgins in the 30's or old.

Abby
Guest
Posted: Thursday, February 09, 2012 4:26:32 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,713
I'm a virgin myself with not much experience but I do like being sexy and provocative on lush for some odd reason I can't understand.
I'm in no hurry of getting rid of my virginity either cause in my personal opinion, it has to be special and not done in a hurry.
JesseS
Posted: Thursday, February 09, 2012 5:56:10 PM

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Joined: 1/1/2010
Posts: 119
Location: United States
The reason I get suspicious is that I've dated a couple of "virgins" who eventually gave themselves away. In the book 'Southern Ladies and Gentlemen' the female author devotes a whole section to, "the self rejuvenating virgin." I don't mind the truth, either way, but honesty doesn't seem to be as popular as it used to be.
1Zratedgal
Posted: Thursday, February 09, 2012 11:49:38 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 11/1/2011
Posts: 606
Location: Northern California, United States
It's really not hard for me to believe!
I'm seeing more younger people enter into pacts to keep their purity until marriage or later.
Even though it goes against my lifestyle and pursuits of pleasure, I believe these people are happy and leading good lives.

Check out this program for young people called Silver Ring Thing and you may get an idea of why this is becoming more prominent!

Kisses!

Steph
Guest
Posted: Friday, February 10, 2012 7:32:53 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,713
I don't find it hard to believe simply because a lot of guys have a hard time believing I've only ever been with one woman. So I figure since I know I'm telling the truth I should believe others, too.
Guest
Posted: Saturday, March 24, 2012 6:31:48 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,713
I have always said "to each there own" it's not wrong or right it's what you feel inside.
Janedoe2
Posted: Wednesday, April 04, 2012 6:52:01 PM

Rank: Rookie Scribe

Joined: 1/2/2012
Posts: 6
Not hard for me to believe, don't for a second think people are lying and don't find them strange/weird at all.
I didn't lose mine until I was 22 the guy was 19 and he was a virgin also. One of my friends lost hers when she was 20 and I have another virgin friend who is 20. I guess I live in a small place with few options, it certainly wasn't down to religion or anything. I'm glad I waited, I truly don't think I was ready until then and I'm now with the guy that it happened with. Only secret is that he doesn't know that I was a virgin also, maybe I'll tell him one day..
asleep
Posted: Wednesday, April 04, 2012 9:58:27 PM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 12/30/2011
Posts: 3,175
Location: United States
Janedoe2 wrote:
Not hard for me to believe, don't for a second think people are lying and don't find them strange/weird at all.
I didn't lose mine until I was 22 the guy was 19 and he was a virgin also..... Only secret is that he doesn't know that I was a virgin also, maybe I'll tell him one day..


Don't wait TOO long to tell him...that's so, SO special. First wife and I waited till our honeymoon to share that "loss" together...and that was 47 years ago. The marriage didn't last, but the friendship thrives and I believe that shared experience has a lot to do with it.

http://www.lushstories.com/stories/love-stories/exit-33-trust.aspx

Resident
Posted: Thursday, April 05, 2012 7:36:40 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 9/24/2011
Posts: 173
Location: United Kingdom
I know two people who are virgins in their early/early-middle twenties.

One is male, the other is female, and the two differ greatly. The male wants
to get rid of it. Is literally aching to be rid of it, while the female doesn't want
to rush it and is waiting for marriage.

The female, of course, gets frustrated when people don't believe she is.
Mostly it's guys who have a hard time wrapping their minds around it. I
think it's because she's a very attractive person, so guys don't understand
why she's a virgin (i.e. with her looks she could have any guy she wanted).

Personally, I think the more attractive you are, the less people are inclined
to believe, as there 'is no excuse' for you not to be, if that makes sense?

Males are easier to believe because we're usually the awkward, bumbling
fools who have to 'get lucky' to finally have sex.

I don't agree with the reasons; I believe what I'm told about it. I also
applaud anyone who is saving their little gift for someone who is deserving.

Are you truly awake?
blazestcyr
Posted: Monday, May 14, 2012 8:42:51 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 10/19/2011
Posts: 737
Location: where bugs die
your body...your choice...who care what others say??
budwilliams
Posted: Monday, May 21, 2012 12:42:11 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/17/2011
Posts: 494
Location: United States
Guest wrote:
The only thing memorable about my first time was how unmemorable and unspecial it was.


I was 24 the first time, and while it wasn't a tender, loving experience, it was definitely memorable ... My buddy and his girlfriend decided to fulfill her fantasy while they were at it, and made it a threesome
budwilliams
Posted: Monday, May 21, 2012 12:45:41 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/17/2011
Posts: 494
Location: United States
Shylass wrote:
Is it hard to comprehend/understand? Do you really think they're lying? I would love to know your thoughts.


I used to wok with a lady who was well into her 50's and said to still be a virgin.
I never asked if it was true or why; and really, it didn't matter to me
redhot363236
Posted: Monday, May 21, 2012 12:58:57 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/16/2011
Posts: 607
Location: United States
Deleted by admin...please keep all discussion of ages to 18 and over, per site guidelines.
redhot363236
Posted: Monday, May 21, 2012 1:08:56 AM

Rank: Forum Guru

Joined: 2/16/2011
Posts: 607
Location: United States
Guest wrote:
I have to admit the "slutty virgins" here do leave me a bit confused. dontknow


I've known my share of "virgin studs" ;)
And, believe me, my fantasy life is much more exciting than my real life
Guest
Posted: Monday, May 21, 2012 1:22:45 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,713
There are indeed "perpetual virgins" but some can be pretty fake. To be directly honest, I don't trust people over 25 or so who are still virgins. There are usually very good reasons for it (religious morality, emotional instability, unreasonable significance accorded, odd personality, etc), none of which appeal to me. What are you "saving yourself" for and why? Virgins aren't very good at sex (no experience!) and I place no value on being "the first". I know some people get that extra thrill at popping a cherry, but to me it matters more whether the partner can please and be pleased without getting hung up on guilt trips, getting overly-emotional because they just opened their hymen, or getting "weird" because it's their "first time and so meaningful".
Guest
Posted: Monday, May 21, 2012 1:27:20 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,713
Nikki703 wrote:
In today's world it seems kids are having sex at much younger ages than in the past

One more thing, this is a completely limited perspective thing. In Europe, the age of consent is generally much lower than in the US (with its hypocritical Puritanical Calvinist background). In California, back in the 1700s-early 1800s, by age 13 many women were married, by 14 had had kids. This was not thought unusual at all. The same is true back in American colonial days. So no, kids are not having sex earlier.
Shylass
Posted: Monday, May 21, 2012 1:33:47 PM

Rank: Gingerbread Lover

Joined: 1/6/2012
Posts: 3,595
Location: Trumpton, United Kingdom
WmCutterBlack wrote:
There are indeed "perpetual virgins" but some can be pretty fake. To be directly honest, I don't trust people over 25 or so who are still virgins. There are usually very good reasons for it (religious morality, emotional instability, unreasonable significance accorded, odd personality, etc), none of which appeal to me. What are you "saving yourself" for and why? Virgins aren't very good at sex (no experience!) and I place no value on being "the first". I know some people get that extra thrill at popping a cherry, but to me it matters more whether the partner can please and be pleased without getting hung up on guilt trips, getting overly-emotional because they just opened their hymen, or getting "weird" because it's their "first time and so meaningful".


Wow, you make it sound like such a fun thing to do. Surely when one starts a new thing for the first time, there is learning to be done? I suppose some people just want to make sure they are themselves pleased, rather than having a shared experience of growing together and learning about how to please the other. Blimey, where is the fun? Does that only appear with years of experience? There's a lot to be said for apprenticeships and "learning on the job", I always thought. but what do I know?

I love your list of reasons for why some people may still be virgins.

Not really.

Thank you for sharing. Sadly, all I have been able to take away from your post is to now understand how other (experienced) people view virgins, particularly older ones, as having something either wrong with them, or being so completely inept that they will never be able to pleasure their partner their first time. Or, indeed, ever. Because who wants to shag Inepter and show them how they like it? I suppose it would be impossible for a virgin to feel happy they'd just got their first shag, even though it wasn't necessarily earth-shattering, or simply being happy they'd had a fun time with somebody doing something new.


Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.

***
********************************CLICK THE BANNERS TO BUY THESE WILLY-STIFFENING BOOKS!********************************
crazydiamond
Posted: Monday, May 21, 2012 1:47:59 PM

Rank: Clever Gem

Joined: 7/17/2011
Posts: 2,286
Location: Exactly where I should be!, Canada
Shylass wrote:


Wow, you make it sound like such a fun thing to do. Surely when one starts a new thing for the first time, there is learning to be done? I suppose some people just want to make sure they are themselves pleased, rather than having a shared experience of growing together and learning about how to please the other. Blimey, where is the fun? Does that only appear with years of experience? There's a lot to be said for apprenticeships and "learning on the job", I always thought. but what do I know?

I love your list of reasons for why some people may still be virgins.

Not really.

Thank you for sharing. Sadly, all I have been able to take away from your post is to now understand how other (experienced) people view virgins, particularly older ones, as having something either wrong with them, or being so completely inept that they will never be able to pleasure their partner their first time. Or, indeed, ever. Because who wants to shag Inepter and show them how they like it? I suppose it would be impossible for a virgin to feel happy they'd just got their first shag, even though it wasn't necessarily earth-shattering, or simply being happy they'd had a fun time with somebody doing something new.




hello1 Well said Daisy :) xx

Careless_Whisper
Posted: Tuesday, May 22, 2012 7:29:06 AM

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Location: United Kingdom
Shylass wrote:

I suppose it would be impossible for a virgin to feel happy they'd just got their first shag, even though it wasn't necessarily earth-shattering, or simply being happy they'd had a fun time with somebody doing something new.


You made your point very well.2407_group_hug
Guest
Posted: Tuesday, October 16, 2012 10:34:36 AM

Rank: Lurker

Joined: 12/1/2006
Posts: 534,713
I am a virgin at 24 and it doesn't bother me. But when i do tell people that i still am, they have mostly been shocked. Like, "I can't believe you're still a virgin!"
Like as if to say that my personality doesn't match that of someone that has ever had sex before.
But i guess when you think about it. I guess the average person thinks a virgin will act a little immature or childish. Because who would want to lay with someone that acts like that.
I guess i may come off as someone that may know a thing or 2 on how to please women because i have openly an correctly said how to. And that i have openly told people that i am always wanting to learn how to better myself in pleasing women. And this is all true.
But i don't have much experience. I guess that statement implies that i have had sex before, but only with a few women. And is isn't until after i say all of that do i tell them that i am still in fact a virgin.
Once in HS a kid that has had numerous hookups told me that is how you separate men from boys. And he was more immature than me.
niceguy89
Posted: Monday, November 19, 2012 6:44:29 AM

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Joined: 11/16/2009
Posts: -24
Location: Texas, United States
Being a virgin is not hard for me. People I tell either do not care or give me the "shocked" look and stop including me in their graphic conversations. The only thing that gives me pause is when I try to date someone and keep getting pressued to "prove my love". It does prove to much for some to handle being told no. They start feeling unappreciated and shortly break up.
D_girl
Posted: Tuesday, November 20, 2012 10:08:32 PM

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Joined: 8/21/2012
Posts: 5
Location: United States
I would never suspect somebody of lying about their virginity, and I respect the choice to remain a virgin. I especially respect anyone who can ignore the social pressure to "lose it just to lose it" after a certain age.

I have to be honest though and say that I would be hesitant to be somebodies "first." Sex means different things to different people, and I think that until you've had sex that would be really hard to identify for yourself. If I were dating somebody who told me they were a virgin, I would not necessarily stop dating them, but I would make it a point to move slowly and communicate a lot about our actions.
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