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I wasn't sure if I should put this under the "relationship" or BDSM forum. I was wondering if a sub can be jealous. Well... Not that they can't be but as in is it a bad trait? Would you have to work on sharing your Dom with others? At the moment I can't, I am very jealous. I have a feeling that I can't be the only one out there. But is it wrong of me to limit a Dom's power by telling them I am jealous, therefore I can't stand having an open relationship?
First, do not wonder "if a sub can be jealous."
We are people first and labels second. You are a person. People get jealous. Do not complicate it any further than that.
Second, do not think about it being "wrong" to "limit a dom's power" by telling them anything. Anything.
Consent is the foundation of everything we do in this lifestyle. Consent is attained through communication. If you do not communicate to someone that you do not want to do something, and you end up doing it simply to please them, you probably aren't going to enjoy it very much and you are probably going to get hurt in some way or another.
D/s is a two way street, whether you have one partner or several. Communication is a must. And if you do not want to do something, you do not have to consent to it. Don't do something you don't want to do. Just don't.
Well...being ordered to scrub the bathroom floor with a tooth brush, naked and with a plug in you is one thing (and, really, that's not so bad). Bringing other people into the relationship is another thing entirely, and should be discussed at length and for a very long time before anything is decided, with a final decision being mutually comfortable.
Now, think of communication in a different way: telling a dominant you are in a relationship with how you feel does not limit their power. It gives them more power over you, because you are sharing yourself with them. It deepens your D/s dynamic, it strengthens your relationship, and it creates a very healthy bond of openness and mutual understanding between you. It does not mean you are restricting them, it means you are opening up to them and giving them the real you.
If it doesn't--that is, if a dominant does not respect your wishes, and does what he wants without your consent and without considering your feelings--than it was not a healthy and consensual relationship to begin with and you should probably find someone more worthy of you.
And yes, there's that word again. Relationship.
D/s is a relationship. It doesn't matter I have one lover (yes, lover--not "sub") or three, each and every one is a relationship. Communication, trust, and consent is the foundation of every single one of them, too.
And yes, jealousy does happen. While I tend to agree with yourmisterdark on the destructive nature of negative emotions in general, that doesn't mean they don't happen, and for legitimate reason--insecurity often being a big one. This is why communication is extremely important. If there is insecurity, it can usually be taken care of after it has been communicated, and the same goes for any other feeling. It is important to communicate, from both sides. D/s, like any relationship, is a two way street.
But even besides all of that, with all of the jealousy and insecurity aside, it's perfectly fine to not want to experience an open relationship. Some people are just built for monogamy, and that's fine. Others are simply programmed to love more than one, and that's fine, too. What is important is to simply be true to yourself, and to communicate that to who ever you are with.
Because we are people first, and labels second.
And, frankly, if a dominant is so weak that telling them how you feel or telling them "no" takes power away from them...well, then. I'll leave that one sit right there.