I'm going to cheat and say "about the same length of time as it'd take for me to consider intercourse with her". There can be a lot context that can change the answer to that question. Barring some heath issues (aka taco tuesday), I'll go down on anyone, likely before I'll have sex with them, whether that's first date or not.
I took an evening to experiment and got to 16 I think but I admit the last one was pretty much dry and that feels somewhat less ideal and my dick was sort of spent so I'm not sure I'd get more than 20 or so on a good day. But still more than I've had the opportunity to even come close to with a partner--after a handful of rounds, I usually get that "where do you think you're putting that?" look, lol.
Doggy,
I like seeing it slide in and it plays into all the taboos and stereotypes and everything to layer the psychological pieces on top.
That was just rude of him. He should take care of you as much as you did of him and more. Obviously not too tired to watch videos. I'm so sorry that happened to you and I agree that he didn't deserve you in that encounter.
Whips take a lot of skill to use right but can give a good range of stingy. Cracking it (away from the body unless you really want to remove flesh) always gets a visceral response. Doing a nice slow build of light brushes and painting some pretty stripes on her skin as it warms can be delightful and intense but, even with a short snake whip, leaves you a good 3-4 feet away. Took a long time to build the skill and accuracy but it's a thing if you like stingy and I find it best with more of a rhythmic build, layering the brushes and stripes up. Whips are intense and can be very spacey in the right hands and the intensity is both physical and psychological--you really can maim someone with a single tail and there are so many layers to the reaction of being whipped, especially with the physical separation.
Floggers can take less skill but are fun to play with more texture. With good floggers, you can play with more weighted/thuddy and more stingy but you'll never really get the same as a single-tail. I find I can more readily caress between strokes with a flogger while maintaining a cadence and that can be more intimate as well as softer caresses with the falls. Of course, florentining a pair of sexy floggers is showy and a lot of fun as is playing with the different materials to get the right thud/sting you and your bottom want.
Paddles are a huge class. I happen to like heavy wood, especially ridged to get nice and deep. It can be good and thuddy and then use the flat for a slappy sting. with a paddle, I'm usually in direct contact at all times--over the lap, touching while working legs or breasts or ass. Drum paddles are especially fun and can make some beautiful dark bruises.
Crops, belts, straps, etc are great for over the knee and precision work around genitals. Can get great finesse but, of course, you can end up fluid bonded to the toys; not that its always a bad thing. Ends up generally stingy, without the weight of flogger or cat o nine to give it thud but more diffuse a slappy/sting than a single-tail (which can be really intense in a lot of ways).
I agree with the comments above that bare hand is the most intimate and flexible. Changing hand position and force gives a huge range of sensations and I find it the most personal since you get to feel every blow as it's given as well.
I have a fair collection and love them all for their own virtues but, if I had to pick just one (OP's question), I would absolutely prefer bare hand, followed by straps, then paddles, then single-tail, then flogger. With a new partner, I'd go hand then straps, then flogger, then paddles, reserving the whip for when they have the experience and when I can read them well enough. For more casual play I'd go flogger, paddles, whip, then strap, in order of preference and not use bare hand.
Interesting question, not easily answered.
Whips take a lot of skill to use right but can give a good range of stingy. Cracking it (away from the body unless you really want to remove flesh) always gets a visceral response. Doing a nice slow build of light brushes and painting some pretty stripes on her skin as it warms can be delightful and intense but, even with a short snake whip, leaves you a good 3-4 feet away. Took a long time to build the skill and accuracy but it's a thing if you like stingy and I find it best with more of a rhythmic build, layering the brushes and stripes up. Whips are intense and can be very spacey in the right hands and the intensity is both physical and psychological--you really can maim someone with a single tail and there are so many layers to the reaction of being whipped, especially with the physical separation.
Floggers can take less skill but are fun to play with more texture. With good floggers, you can play with more weighted/thuddy and more stingy but you'll never really get the same as a single-tail. I find I can more readily caress between strokes with a flogger while maintaining a cadence and that can be more intimate as well as softer caresses with the falls. Of course, florentining a pair of sexy floggers is showy and a lot of fun as is playing with the different materials to get the right thud/sting you and your bottom want.
Paddles are a huge class. I happen to like heavy wood, especially ridged to get nice and deep. It can be good and thuddy and then use the flat for a slappy sting. with a paddle, I'm usually in direct contact at all times--over the lap, touching while working legs or breasts or ass. Drum paddles are especially fun and can make some beautiful dark bruises.
Crops, belts, straps, etc are great for over the knee and precision work around genitals. Can get great finesse but, of course, you can end up fluid bonded to the toys; not that its always a bad thing. Ends up generally stingy, without the weight of flogger or cat o nine to give it thud but more diffuse a slappy/sting than a single-tail (which can be really intense in a lot of ways).
I agree with the comments above that bare hand is the most intimate and flexible. Changing hand position and force gives a huge range of sensations and I find it the most personal since you get to feel every blow as it's given as well.
I have a fair collection and love them all for their own virtues but, if I had to pick just one (OP's question), I would absolutely prefer bare hand, followed by straps, then paddles, then single-tail, then flogger. With a new partner, I'd go hand then straps, then flogger, then paddles, reserving the whip for when they have the experience and when I can read them well enough. For more casual play I'd go flogger, paddles, whip, then strap, in order of preference and not use bare hand.
Interesting question, not easily answered.
The red is nature’s way of telling you they’re deadly.
I love red-heads but some early damaging experiences taught me they’re too dangerous for me and I swore off of them. I appreciate red heads from a distance now.
Hm, I haven’t read parts 1 and 2 but here are some thoughts:
—sub may have all the same fantasies as the Dom so not much a distinction there.
—maybe she’ll want to be tied naked outdoors
—maybe some naked hiking, exposed in the open air, never know who’s looking
—jade egg could be interesting over a long hike
—nettles are fun to play with
—flogging by the fire could be a way to warm up
—we did ‘whip and walks’ outdoors and that was a lot of fun
—fire play, cupping, etc under the stars is amazing
—hearing the wolves howling and wanting to be taken hard so she can howl along?
—pinecones make for odd sex toys (with a barrier like a condom) depending on the time of year. She could be really aroused and looking at the pinecones lewdly
—flogging with evergreen branches?
Lots of great ideas singly or in combination.
One cold weather animal to another.
Good luck!
The female version is cuckquean, you’re right. I’m sure someone does it but it hasn’t been me.
Been to a few swingers clubs and it's a mixed bag. Women tend to rule the roost at swingers clubs. They tend to be middle aged and "real" people--curvy, scarred, etc. Single males, where they are allowed at all, are often very pushy and "handsy" so they aren't welcome at a lot of clubs except on "threesome" nights or something. I've had random hands reach out to touch my partner and it gets distracting shooing them away if the club doesn't patrol them well. Girl-girl is pretty common but boy-boy isn't even allowed at some clubs (but this is changing). My own experience is that only a fraction of the couples actually find someone to add to their sex. It's like a pick up bar except it's couples looking for one-night stands with other couples--don't always find a match. Regulars know each other and have people they hook up with regularly.
I've been to a co-ed bath house. Less like a pick-up bar and more like a steamy maze, shower room, hot tub, sauna, and private bedrooms with porn playing. Those are all anonymous based on eye contact and gestures. Not as much action as you'd think, but it really is just anonymous sex.
I've been to BDSM clubs: a queer dungeon, a swinger's club with a discipline area, pure kink events (public and private), and others. Those are generally bring your own partner and play with them. Too much at stake for most to do pick up play, although (bizarrely) it still happens. The BDSM and kink scene tends to have events that don't allow sex, generally. Swinger's clubs with BDSM areas tend to be more performative BDSM (gentle hits, no bruising, etc.) than more dedicated kink clubs (tears and blood are a thing).
They all vary by the crowd and the energy they bring so it's different every time.
I've been on and off the site a long time. A lot of people aren't completely honest on here. Many play a persona or can be very brave behind a keyboard. Getting to know the real person takes a lot of time and it's hard to know if you're seeing the real person or not. I've watched a bunch of couples meet, fall in "love", and explode. Several were very fake and I think that's more the rule than the exception.
I fell in love on here. We met in person and it turned into a real relationship for several years. It's possible and some marriages have resulted from Lush love.
Sex is with a person, not just a vagina.
How she moves, clenches, gyrates, moans, kisses.... is it getting hard in here or is that just me? Anyways, all these things make a HUGE difference. A tight pussy with a woman who lies there like a dead fish is just no fun. A pussy so tight you can't get in without a struggle can kill your erection.
I disagree with the contention that having a baby makes a woman loose. Sure, it can, but it's a muscle and can go back to size or even get tighter. I had a partner who had given birth and she could clench tight enough to actually keep me from moving so no, I wouldn't call her "loose" from having kids.
I actually think pussy tightness is the same "goldilocks" problem that women face. Some are too big, some are too small, and the rest fall in the middle and it's more about how it moves and who it's part of.
Dom/sub is about power exchange. You can be D/s with no sex at all and, in some cases, with no contact. Spanking and bondage can be in the kink realm, which I think of as "unconventional" acts, but don't necessarily involve sex. If you're involved in kink play without power exchange, the terms tend to be top and bottom rather than D/s. You sound like a kinky switch with a tendency to bottom but not it's more important how you see yourself and how you want to present to potential future partners.
Lots of sites that have them. Look for Anal Plug Tails or variations. Size is the issue if you're not used to having a plug. I'm most comfortable with surgical steel toys (boil them to sterilize them and they'll definitely last forever and no issue with peeling/flaking/paint/mould lines, etc.) and believe in investing in good ones. The main brand name is njoy. In terms of size, here's my experience:
1-1.25 inch diameter --> beginner size. fun for a while but then "meh"
1.5 inch or so --> average size once experienced
1.75 inch --> girthy, definitely "full" and definitely needs lube and warm-up
2 inch --> where are you planning on putting THAT? Takes some warm up and finesse every time
Bigger --> never had anyone brave enough to try
To be fair, this isn't daily for me and I'm not even interesting in trying to shove something 6 inches in DIAMETER up anyone's anything. That's like one of the large, 4 l soda bottles.
In terms of tails, think about how you'll clean it. Clearly a fluid bonded toy. Some have detachable furry parts so you can wash them separately. Others I think of a pretty much single (or limited time) use until the lube and whatever get to be too much.
Good luck!
I'll weigh in here. Been doing a lot in kink space and did a lot in organized event spaces and some work as a dungeon master, in case any of that matters.
First, kink is sort of "what you've negotiated" space so, don't assume there's a "right" way and the whole thing is about challenging norms.
However, not negotiating things (using purely INCLUSIVE negotiation--agreeing to what you're ok with rather than listing what you're NOT ok with) is, in my opinion, foolish. One local Dom used to say "well, you didn't list it so can I beat you with a trout, then fuck you with whatever is left of it, and then feed you chunks? well, you didn't list that on limits..." to make a point.
Safe words. The very BEST (and default) safe word is "no" or "stop" or "uh-uh" or shaking your head. Unless otherwise stated this is ALWAYS a hard stop. No means no even in kink. Now, some people prefer to play through "no".They want to be able to sink into the experience and scream and complain and shout "dear God NO!" while having nails driven through their flesh (true story) and to have the Top know that it's ok to continue. To me, this is where safe words come in. If you're saying "no" doesn't mean no, then you still need a word to mean no. Traffic lights are common: Red means "stop the scene NOW", yellow means "ease up, it's getting to be too much", green means "Ok, I've got my coping back, carry on" but anything negotiated goes. If you ever play at an event, the DM will ask if you use safe words or if "no" means no and will watch and listen to make sure you're obeyed as a bottom. Tops can use safe words, for what it's worth.
When gagged or tied or encased in latex or taking a really serious whipping or doing more intense play, holding a handkerchief or stuffed animal or whatever makes a good sign. Dropping it is "red" or "stop now", sometimes waving it can mean "yellow". This is pretty advanced stuff but works well in practice. If the bottom spaces enough or passes out, the hanky drops and the system works.
No safe word ==> just use regular words. Can't talk? Use a prop. Not having some way to say "stop"? Crazy.
Granted, but you can never leave your room again.
I wish I was in a nice warm bed with a nice warm woman.
Yup, not a turn on for me, but not a turn off either. It does feel different, there seems to be a termperature and geometry difference in addition to what seems obvious. A little messier but, sex without any mess is hardly worth it. ;)
Your mileage may vary.
Echoing the above. I have friends on here that I've been in contact with for years and I don't see them going away. Romantically, you can only go on so long without things progressing from online, to text, to phone or video, to rl. You can meet people anywhere and Lush is no exception. The one odd nuance to it all is that, given the nature of the site, the odds are pretty high that you know your date's sexual fantasies before you ever meet and that's not exactly "typical" of other places you may have met. Yes, there's the geographical issue, and I know a few 'couples' that are separated by several states, countries, even an ocean or two, and make it "work" for a while. I know of several multi-year romances on Lush and that's impressive online or off so why denigrate the online thing. Yes, its not "complicated" by co-habitating, but any relationship that hasn't taken that step is similarly uncomplicated. In short: why not?
Thanks for sharing. That was hilarious!!
