“Oh God, no!” Nisha stared in shock and disbelief at her phone.

Chris looked over his newspaper and put down his morning cup of tea. “Is everything okay, Darling?”

Nisha didn’t respond at first as she continued to read the email with a look of horror on her face.

“Oh God, you’re not going to believe this - Poonam’s coming,” she eventually said.

“Thank God for that - I thought someone had died,” Chris said with relief, picking up his tea again and turning the newspaper page. “Who’s Poonam?”

Nisha thought about it for a moment.

“She’s my mum’s cousin’s daughter - I think. Yes, that’s right. Her father was Arjun, and he was Mum’s cousin, no, second cousin...”

Chris switched off as Nisha explained the family connection as far as she could remember.

“Okay, okay! So she’s a distant relative. But why is she coming, and why do you have a face like a spanked arse? What has the poor woman ever done to offend you?” Chris asked.

“You’ve not heard about Poonam? God! I thought I’d told you! Poonam was the one caught fucking the bridegroom at a family wedding years ago. Remember? I must have told you!” Nisha replied, exasperated.

“Oh, that was Poonam, was it? I remember the story, but I didn’t make the connection. Wasn’t it kept from the bride and her family, and it only came out years later, leading to a very messy divorce?” Chris asked.

“That’s right, but that’s only the tip of the iceberg as far as Poonam’s concerned. She’s the black sheep of the family and a complete pain in the arse,” Nisha continued. “She’s bossy, rude, overbearing and overweight, and she has a shocking reputation concerning men. I can’t understand what any of them see in her! Fortunately, I only see her at family weddings, and then I try to avoid her as much as possible.”

“I’m not surprised if she has form for shagging the groom at these turn-outs. So why has she invited herself here? Chris asked.

“She lives in Leicester now, but she’s coming to town for a couple of nights. I expect all her close relatives have found convenient excuses as to why they can’t accommodate her, so she’ll have worked her way down the list and finally arrived at me,” Nisha said with annoyance.

“Fine, so just tell her we’re out of town or something,” Chris replied, putting down his paper and picking up a slice of toast. “When does she want to come anyway? We might be genuinely busy.”

“Tomorrow,” Nisha replied. “But I put that post on Facebook saying I was looking forward to a quiet weekend at home after the last few weekends being so busy. She liked it, so she must know I’m home. Maybe that’s why she’s picked on us to put her up. It’s going to be difficult to say no. Oh God, Chris. I can’t bear it!”

“Tomorrow?! Fucking hell. The rugby cup final is tomorrow. When is she arriving?”

“Not until late, thank God. She’s meeting someone for lunch, then going to a gallery or something. She said she won’t be here until after eight.”

Chris heaved a sigh of relief as he scraped some marmalade onto his toast. “Good - I’ll be home by then. I don’t mind if she comes. I want to meet the notorious Poonam. Is there a Mr Poonam?”

“There was, but they divorced last year. The poor chap did well to last twenty years with her. It was common knowledge she was fucking other guys behind his back all through their marriage,” Nisha said judgementally.

“Well, I can’t wait to meet her.” Chris was winding Nisha up now. “A fat nymphomaniac coming to stay could be fun.”

He winked at his wife to provoke her further.

“Hey! Don’t you be getting any ideas,” Nisha jokingly reprimanded her husband. “It’s one thing us swapping with Mini and Sanjay, but no flying solo, Mister! Besides, I’m sure you’ll have had more than enough of her within minutes of her arrival. You’ll be desperate for her to go home.”

**********

The following day Chris set off in the morning to meet his friends before the rugby, leaving Nisha to prepare the house for Poonam’s visit. She was glad to be on her own for a while. It would only have annoyed her if Chris had stayed to help with the cleaning and tidying; he didn’t have the same exacting standards. And she enjoyed having her music on loud, her Bose speaker following her from room to room as she dusted, cleaned, vacuumed and polished.

Nisha had also promised herself some time to play with her massive dildo after cleaning. She hadn’t had a chance for anal play over the past few busy weeks and was looking forward to having fun while Chris was out.

It had been New Year since Nisha had last been properly arse-fucked by a real cock, and now it was late spring. As far as Nisha was concerned, this was too long to go without anal. She had allowed Chris to fuck her that way once or twice in the intervening months, but although his cock was above average in length and girth, it just couldn’t give her the same sensations as a genuinely enormous cock pounding her hole.

Sanjay, her best friend’s husband, had been the last to give her the satisfaction she craved. Chris had given Sanjay’s wife, Meenakshi, anal in return, but unfortunately, Sanjay and Meenakshi had found it difficult to make time for another swap. Their teenage daughters were preparing for exams, and Meenakshi’s mother had been ill, so try as they might, they just hadn’t been able to find a good time.

So Nisha had been looking forward to pleasuring herself at length without being disturbed. Preparing for Poonam’s visit had forced her to curtail her plans slightly, but she knew she could get the house cleaned in two or three hours, giving her more than enough time to play with herself before Poonam arrived. So Nisha douched before starting the housework so that having completed her chores, she would get the dildos out, and the fun could begin immediately. It was an incentive to work hard and quickly, and she did.

At one o’clock, Nisha put away the vacuum cleaner, her tasks complete. The dildos were ready on the bed, along with a fresh towel and a tube of lubricant. One dildo was a smooth, silver vibrator, and the other a long, brown silicone cock. She kept them both in separate velvet bags in the cabinet by her bed, always at hand when she needed to make herself cum.

The silver vibrator was just for foreplay. Nisha often used it on her pussy, enjoying its cold smoothness as it pulsed on her clitoris or probed her G-spot. She would usually imagine it was Chris inside her when she fucked herself, but sometimes, if Nisha felt very horny, someone else she knew would intrude on her naughty thoughts.

Neighbours, celebrities and work colleagues had all been the subject of her fantasies, but since their husband swap at New Year, Meenakshi had increasingly been the person Nisha thought of when she needed to get off. The two women had arranged to have some ‘girly time’ together as part of their next swap, and the prospect excited Nisha enormously.

As the vibrator gently pulsed at her opening, Nisha imagined Meenakshi between her legs, her tongue firmly licking her pussy and clitoris. She felt herself getting wetter as she thought of Meenakshi’s fingers probing her holes, of her climbing on top to sixty-nine Nisha, and of them scissoring; their wet, engorged pussies grinding together as they frigged each other to orgasm. Maybe Meenakshi would use the strap-on she had arse-fucked Chris and Nisha with to fuck her again, perhaps in her pussy this time? Nisha would love that, particularly if Meenakshi fingered her arse as she fucked her from behind.

Remembering what it felt like to be fucked by Meenakshi’s strap-on, Nisha moved the vibrator to her anus. For a while, she pushed it gently against her opening, its gentle oscillations reminding her of the delicious moment of anticipation as a giant, thick cock pressed at her hole before entering. Then, Nisha reached for the lube and covered the length of the vibrator before returning it between her firm bum cheeks. She could have slid it inside herself then, but still, she held back, touching her soaking wet pussy and breasts while enjoying the vibrations and cold wetness of the vibrator on her bumhole.

When she couldn’t resist any longer, Nisha eased the vibrator inside. She took it effortlessly, and although it by no means gave her the stretch she ultimately craved, she still spent a moment enjoying the gentle buzz and the feeling of being anally penetrated for the first time in weeks.

Again Nisha’s thoughts turned to her best friend. She imagined Meenakshi gently fucking her with the vibrator as she made Nisha cum using her mouth and tongue. First, she opened her legs wider as if to allow Meenakshi’s head between them. Then, using her middle finger to replicate the skilled ministrations of her friend’s tongue on her clitoris and outer lips, she moved the vibrator in and out of her anus with increasing speed and depth.

It didn’t take long before Nisha felt her orgasm build. Goosebumps formed on her skin, and her nipples became hard as her body began to jerk and twist in response to the exquisite sensations emanating from between her legs. Her breathing quickened, and her moaning became louder until, with a final frenzy of urgent rubbing, she came noisily, her thighs gripping her hand firmly at her sex as a warm wave of pleasure enveloped her body.

It took only a few moments for Nisha to recover from her first orgasm. After licking her fingers clean of her juices, she reached for the larger dildo on the bed beside her. Removing it from its velvet bag, Nisha admired its length and thickness. Bulbous veins protruded along the shaft, which she knew would enhance the sensations as it cleaved her hole. The base consisted of two large silicone balls, which allowed her to stimulate her clitoris as her pussy ground against them. She imagined the thick, smooth tip forcing its way deep into the soft, pink folds of her anus and the pleasure it would give her when fully inserted.

Nisha had waited a long time for this.

Picking up the towel, she moved to the floor. With a loud slap, Nisha fixed the dildo’s sucker to the laminate next to the bed and placed the folded towel beside it. She reached for the lubricant and generously daubed the length of the dildo with gel before kneeling on the towel, her bottom inches above the smooth brown head of the toy. Resting an elbow on the bed, Nisha reached behind her, grabbed the base of the dildo and lined it up at her hole.

Nisha took a sharp intake of breath as she backed onto the thick brown phallus, and it gradually broke her bum’s initial resistance. She had wanted it inside her for so long but knew she would have to take it step-by-step, slowly building up until she could easily ride the toy and enjoy its entire length. Of course, even Nisha couldn’t handle something this big without some discomfort, but that was all part of the thrill: overcoming the pain made the subsequent pleasure all the more intense.

As soon as the tip was sufficiently deep to stay inside unaided, Nisha removed her hand and knelt upright, her back straight and her head back. Then, cupping her breasts in her hands and pinching her sensitive nipples, she gradually lowered herself more and more, gasping as the thickest part of the dildo became consumed by her anus. Sometimes it felt like she had taken all she could, and the dildo refused to go any deeper, but Nisha knew from experience that she could take every inch. A slight shift in her body position was all it took to allow the toy further inside her body.

Before long, Nisha had taken the dildo to its root. She paused to savour the feeling of being full before dropping her hands to the floor and rocking gently on all fours as the dildo became more comfortable. Although barely moving inside, the tip pressing deep inside her felt acutely pleasurable. She moved one hand to her clitoris, rubbing it gently with her finger as her rocking motion gradually became more pronounced.

Soon she felt ready to make her movements even more vigorous,  and at last, the cock started moving, a little at first but sliding inside her more and more with every movement of Nisha’s hips. She moved both hands back to the floor, rubbing her pussy and clit over the toy’s huge testicles with each thrust. She wished the balls were real; big, heavy balls full of potent cum ready to bespatter the inside of her arsehole.

Keeping the tip of the dildo inside her, Nisha turned, crouching over the cock. Then, with her knees splayed and her hands on the bed to steady herself, she slowly eased her body up and down, taking more and more of the cock each time. Soon, Nisha was taking its entire length with every firm downward motion. Finally, the pain and discomfort passed, and she could begin to enjoy herself.

Nisha moved her hands behind her and leaned backwards. In this position, the dildo rubbed aggressively against her bladder, forcing droplets of urine to escape onto the towel, but Nisha didn’t care. It was all part of her ritual, and nothing would stop her from relishing the many sensations she could only get when her bum was full of cock. However, the smell of fresh urine made her feel dirty and wanton, and her thoughts turned to Chris’s watersports fantasy. Maybe she should pee on him and allow him to do the same to her?

Crouching upright again, Nisha moved one hand back to her pussy, roughly rubbing and fingering herself as she felt another orgasm build. With two fingers curled inside her pussy she violently worked the spot she knew would make her squirt, and as her clear fluids began to gush, she slapped and rubbed her soaking pussy and gave in to her orgasm again. Jet after jet of cum soaked the towel as Nisha gripped the bedsheets with one hand, finishing herself off with the other. Her bumhole gripped the dildo tightly as her body trembled with each new ripple of gratification, and the memory of Sanjay’s cock twitching as he filled her bum with his semen further prolonged her orgasm.

As Nisha dropped to her knees, almost spent, the dildo filled her up again, triggering another cum-rush from her now-aching pussy. Finally, still impaled on the dildo, Nisha flopped forward onto the bed, exhausted.

**********

Chris arrived home at around seven, more than adequately refreshed after several beers before, during and after the rugby match.

“Is the fat nympho here yet?” he shouted as he came through the door, knowing that Poonam wouldn’t arrive for at least another hour.

Nisha came to the door and kissed him.

“Stop it! What if she had arrived early?” she laughed. “No, she’s not. So how was the match?”

“Brilliant! They won. How was your day, Darling? You’ve done a good job on the house, I see.”

“Oh, you know. Quiet…” Nisha replied. “Now, Mister, go upstairs and shower before Poonam comes. And clean your teeth, for God’s sake - you stink of beer. I’ll have a coffee waiting for you when you come down. It might sober you up a bit.”

Chris did as Nisha asked and quickly returned downstairs after showering. They watched television while waiting for Poonam to arrive, but as evening turned to night, there was still no sign of her. Nisha had sent several texts but received no reply, and by ten o’clock, she was beginning to wonder if Poonam would come at all. Chris was dozing on the sofa beside her, and they both desperately wanted to go to bed.

By eleven o’clock, Nisha had had enough.

“Come on,” she said, nudging Chris awake. “Let’s go to bed. She’s obviously not coming. The nerve of the woman! Three hours I spent cleaning! Three fucking hours!”

They were halfway up the stairs when the doorbell finally rang. Nisha led the way back downstairs and opened the door.

“Helloooo!”

Poonam walked over the threshold and hugged Nisha without apologising for her tardiness. Surprisingly, a young man was with her.

“I hope you don’t mind; I’ve brought Fraser with me. We’ve just spent the day together and had an amazing time. Nisha - Fraser. Fraser - Nisha.”

Nisha shook the stranger’s hand limply with an incredulous look.

Chris still hadn’t been introduced, and as Poonam continued talking excitedly to a seething Nisha, utterly oblivious to any offence she had caused, he looked at the two new arrivals.

Poonam wasn’t at all as Nisha had described her. She was short and quite stocky, but he wouldn’t have described her as overweight. Instead, her round face and huge breasts - accentuated by her tight black vest-top - gave the impression of excess weight. However, as she turned around to usher Fraser inside, he saw she had a narrow waist, a firm, round bottom and sexy wide hips under the loose floral sarong she wore. Poonam had a classic hourglass figure and was more curvy than fat. Her hair was long, dark brown and pinned with a large flower at the side. With attractive and well-proportioned facial features, Chris could see why men would find her sexy, even if Nisha couldn’t.

Fraser must have been some twenty years younger than Poonam and couldn’t have been more different. He was tall and slim and worked out regularly, judging by his chiselled jaw and muscular physique. Chris would have assumed Fraser was Poonam’s son, except there were no signs of Indian features. Surely he couldn’t be her boyfriend, could he?

“And this must be Chris,” Chris heard Poonam say, and she moved further into the hallway to hug him. “Oooh, Nisha! When it took so long for you to marry, I assumed you were a lesbian or too plain to interest a man. But you were right to wait - he’s a bit of a dish, isn’t he?”

Chris could see that Nisha was fuming! Poonam’s rudeness was quite extraordinary - Nisha had been right about that - but her complete lack of decorum gave her a certain sexiness. He wondered if she was as brassy between the sheets as she was in conversation.

“And Fraser, you must be Poonam’s..?” Nisha wanted to find out exactly who this stranger was before she allowed him further inside her house.

“Oh, he’s not my boyfriend - at least not yet. We chatted online for a few weeks, then decided to spend a few days in London. We were so lucky with the weather - it’s been amazing! It was lovely on the South Bank, wasn’t it, Fraser?

“But anyway, it’s late. So let’s catch up properly tomorrow. Which is our room?”

Poonam started to climb the stairs with Fraser, who had barely said a word, following behind, carrying their bags.

“Top of the stairs and on the right,” Nisha said through gritted teeth. “Goodnight!”

“I have never… NEVER… met anyone so rude in all my life!” Nisha fumed once Poonam and Fraser were out of earshot. “She waltzes in, three hours late, with some fucking toy boy on her arm, then flounces off to bed without so much as removing her shoes! And I bet they’re fucking as we speak! I… I…” Nisha couldn’t find the words.

Tired and still a bit drunk, Chris was a bit more forgiving.

“Yes, three hours is late - even by Indian standards. But look on the positive side, Darling. At least you didn’t have to spend the evening with her. So let’s go to bed. Hopefully, they’ll go out again tomorrow. If we’re lucky, we might barely see them all the time they’re in town.”

Nisha sighed and meekly followed Chris up the stairs, still shaking her head in disbelief.

The noises began next door as soon as Nisha and Chris settled to sleep. Nisha had been worried about this happening, remembering how she had been able to hear Chris and Meenakshi having sex during the first husband swap. She nudged Chris awake.

“They’re fucking! They’re fucking in our spare room!” Chris sat up, listening intently.

“Oh, yes! Suck Mummy’s big tits. Suck on Mummy’s big, milky tits,” they heard Poonam say next door. “And let Mummy wank your huge, thick cock. First, Mummy will stroke your cock, and then you’ll fuck her. Mummy’s very wet for your cock.”

“Oh my God! Do you hear that?!” Nisha whispered. “It’s fucking disgusting!”

But within minutes, things got even worse.

“Oh, Mummy loves your huge cock inside her. Fuck her hard in her pussy, then fuck her big fat bottom, too!” they heard Poonam cry next door. She didn’t seem to have any concerns about being overheard. “Cum in Mummy’s bottom and fill her with your hot spunk!”

“They’re going to have anal sex!” Nisha was now apoplectic. “How fucking dare they! In our spare bed!”

It was the biggest insult yet. Poonam was now about to get an enormous cock in her arse, the one thing Nisha had craved for months.

Chris knew it was largely jealousy making his wife so unusually angry, but something else annoyed her even more, and he was responsible for it.

“You’ve got a fucking erection, haven’t you? I can see the bulge in the sheets. How can you have an erection for Poonam, for fucks sake!” Then, after a short pause, Nisha looked at Chris venomously. “You find her attractive, don’t you?”

“She’s a vulgar, coarse woman,” Chris said, evading the question.

“You do, don’t you! You fancy fucking Poonam!” Nisha hissed between her teeth.

“I don’t fancy her,” Chris explained sheepishly. “But you have to admit; she has amazing tits. Her arse is nice, too, to be honest. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t thinking what it would be like to fuck it when we were downstairs. Sorry.”

“Yes! Put it in my arse now. But be gentle with Mummy - her bottom has never taken a cock as big as yours, Fraser.”

Poonam was only making it worse and worse.

“Don’t pretend you’re not getting wet thinking about Fraser fucking her arse,” Chris countered. “I know you’ve missed being fucked with a big cock. I’ve seen your dildos.”

“That’s completely different!” Nisha said, but she knew it was true. She could feel she was beginning to get wet, and although she had barely met him, Nisha wanted Fraser’s monster cock fucking her bum instead of Poonam’s.

“Oh, no! Stop, Fraser. You’re just too big for Mummy’s bottom, I’m afraid. It’s sore for Mummy. Put it back in Mummy’s pussy. Fill her pussy with hot cum instead.”

It was a moment of deja-vu for Nisha. Her mind returned to the first time she and Meenakshi had decided to swap husbands. Meenakshi’s husband’s cock had been too big for her arse, and Chris’s cock had been too small for Nisha’s. So they had decided to swap partners so all four could enjoy a good anal fuck. Now, it was as if the same situation was happening again. Chris wanted Poonam’s arse, and Nisha was sure she would happily give it to him. In addition, Nisha wanted Fraser’s big cock, and she could give him the anal sex Poonam evidently couldn’t.

“I can see a solution here,” Chris said tentatively, reading Nisha’s face carefully to see if she was thinking the same thing.

Nisha knew precisely where the conversation was heading.

“Honestly! You would fuck Poonam?” she asked scornfully. “Are you still pissed?”

“Well, if you got your anal itch scratched, so to speak, I’d fuck Poonam, yes.”

Nisha didn’t buy Chris’s attempt at altruism, but her need for a massive cock was becoming urgent, and she let it go. With an opportunity, however remote, to end her anal famine, Nisha would consider anything.

But then she had a moment of clarity.

“Hang on, hang on. This conversation is crazy! Even if we did want to swap with them, how would we go about it? It’s not like Sanjay and Meenakshi; she’s my best friend, and we share all our secrets. That swap was easy to arrange once you and Sanjay were on board. But neither of us knows Poonam well or Fraser at all! They barely know each other! And there’s no time for an STI test either. Poonam might be carrying anything, the fat slut! So no, it’s completely impractical.”

“Okay, so we can’t persuade them as a couple, but how about as individuals? They only met properly today and said they’re not an item yet. So technically, they’re single. And from what you’ve told me about Poonam and her comment about me being a ‘dish,’ Poonam should be reasonably easy to sweet-talk into bed.”

Chris was working it out as he went along.

“And Fraser seems to go along with anything he’s told, so I reckon you could easily get him to fuck you. You’re much sexier than Poonam, after all. So all we need to do is to separate them for a while so we can each seduce them individually.”

“That’s easier said than done,” Nisha replied sceptically. “And we don’t even know their plans for tomorrow.”

“No, but if we suggest cooking dinner for them tomorrow evening, they will have to get back to the house by then, whatever they’re doing during the day. So then, after dinner, I’ll find some excuse to get Poonam out of the way, and you can seduce Fraser while I work my magic on Poonam.”

It all sounded so simple, but Nisha wasn’t convinced. “And what about safety? Use condoms for everything? No exchange of fluids?”

“Yes. I can get some tomorrow. Look, it might not work but let’s have fun trying! How long is it since you seduced anyone? And you were the last person I sweet-talked into bed.” Chris winked at Nisha.

“Excuse me! I think you’ll find I sweet-talked you into bed!” They both laughed. “Okay. Let’s give it a try. You’re right - it could be fun. We have nothing to lose.”

**********