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Say Anything and high school crushes.

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LakeShoreLimited
Active Ink Slinger
I'm sure most of us have had infatuations like the one depicted in the movie. However, they rarely turn out the way it did for Lloyd Dobler. Looking back now, I wonder why I spent ten months obsessed with a girl who wasn't interested in me when there were four-hundred others in my school who could have yielded better prospects.
Unknown User
I didn't suffer from high school crushes. Others liked me but I wasn't interested.

I don't think I even had a crush on Ex. Not in the, I've known you for month's and quietly liked you.
It wasn't like that at all. I saw him, I wanted us to be in a relationship and I went for it.
Mind you, I was 15yrs young and he was 21.
I wasn't about to go steady, yes steady cause I'm that romantic but nobody needs to know, but I wasn't going to go full throttle just for anyone.

I'm glad I don't suffer from such disease, crushing on men/women easily.

Was I missing out?
Unknown User
I had a crush on someone at school. We became best friends and then we became lovers. We married June last year.. ? ?
Unknown User
I had a couple long-running crushes in my high school days. Don't really know where either is now. One was a classmate that I had a serious case of the hots for (even gave her a poem I wrote for her). The other was our minister's daughter, who went to a different school but, of course, we met at church youth groups and such. I never had a chance with either, though I ended up getting on pretty well with the minister's daughter.
ScreamQueen
living dead girl
Getting a crush is rare for me, in hs even rarer
I had an instant crush on my then girlfriend as soon as I met her
We still talk and I wonder why I had those feelings I don't see her the same at all.

My only other crush was on a teacher of mine. And looking back that one makes more sense than the other.
It also probably permanently formed my taste in women as I'm forever attracted to intelligent and usually older than me women.
LakeShoreLimited
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by IMPÜRETHOUGHTS



I didn't suffer from high school crushes. Others liked me but I wasn't interested.

I don't think I even had a crush on Ex. Not in the, I've known you for month's and quietly liked you.
It wasn't like that at all. I saw him, I wanted us to be in a relationship and I went for it.
Mind you, I was 15yrs young and he was 21.
I wasn't about to go steady, yes steady cause I'm that romantic but nobody needs to know, but I wasn't going to go full throttle just for anyone.

I'm glad I don't suffer from such disease, crushing on men/women easily.

Was I missing out?



You're probably not missing anything. If they go on for too long. they become wastes of time and energy. There is a fuzzy line between crushes and obsessions.

I had a couple after high school. One was on a boss. She was actually a bad manager, anxious and intimidating at the same time. I won't speculate about the psychology of that.

By the way, in Say Anything, I was surprised that Corey Flood didn't make a move on Lloyd. She obviously wanted him, and with a bit of effort she could have snagged him. That's how I would have written it, anyway.
Guest
Lurker
In retrospect, mine weren't crushes but perverted sexual fantasies.

One girl had amazing teeth and all I could think about when I saw her was a blow job and cumming on those perfect, glossy teeth.

Another had fabulous red hair, a sensational rack, and tons of freckles. Wanted a hand job to cum on those titty freckles.

Swivel Hips was another girl whom I had intense sexual attraction for. Her jeans were sooo tight. Always. Laying on the bed, sucking in her gut, pulling up the zipper with a coat hanger, tight. No muffin top either. Constant camel toe and a fabulous ass that rocked back and forth as she passed by. Everyone wanted to fuck her. One of my friends got to on a regular basis. He later became a priest. Fucking Karma.

I'm sure there were more.
Beffer
Rainbow Warrior
I never crushed on anyone romantically till my Junior year in college. Through most of high school, I was just a big flirt and casual dater.
cethpada
Active Ink Slinger
I never had crushes at school just never looked at girls that way perhaps I was a late developer. Also my childhood was one of moving from country to country every year or two which meant that I was more interested in making friends. My mother noticed that I always made friends with the girls at school and around where we lived but it was never because I was sexually attracted to them it was just I seemed to have more in common with them and found them easier to talk to. It was not until I got my first job and then I became interested in the opposite sex and then the advantage of having had so many female friends came to the fore as I was comfortable chatting up females.
Oli_
Butterfly
I just couldn't stop looking at her like every five seconds...
LakeShoreLimited
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by Ping
In retrospect, mine weren't crushes but perverted sexual fantasies.

One girl had amazing teeth and all I could think about when I saw her was a blow job and cumming on those perfect, glossy teeth.

Another had fabulous red hair, a sensational rack, and tons of freckles. Wanted a hand job to cum on those titty freckles.

Swivel Hips was another girl whom I had intense sexual attraction for. Her jeans were sooo tight. Always. Laying on the bed, sucking in her gut, pulling up the zipper with a coat hanger, tight. No muffin top either. Constant camel toe and a fabulous ass that rocked back and forth as she passed by. Everyone wanted to fuck her. One of my friends got to on a regular basis. He later became a priest. Fucking Karma.

I'm sure there were more.


There is a point where infatuations can become obsessions and are about more than sexuality. Psychologists use the term "erotomanic delusions."

Of course there is a spectrum of such feelings and most people with crushes are not over that line. But I've been close enough to see the line although I had insight into my own state of mind; thus I didn't cross it.

The crushes in high school are probably a normal if painful part of growing up. In adults, however, they are more problematic. One notion I've had is that in times of stress they are a regression to an earlier, seemingly more innocent, period of one's life.
wicked_jocelyn
Active Ink Slinger
I had many overlapping crushes in high school, and was mostly a flirt. I had one casual boyfriend, then one that was for real that started a summer thing before my senior year. Even though we went to different colleges, we remained on and off partners for years. In any case, no one lifted a boom box over the head outside my bedroom window. That's good, because they would've gotten the garden hose for the state of mind I was in around 17.

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LakeShoreLimited
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by wicked_jocelyn
I had many overlapping crushes in high school, and was mostly a flirt. I had one casual boyfriend, then one that was for real that started a summer thing before my senior year. Even though we went to different colleges, we remained on and off partners for years. In any case, no one lifted a boom box over the head outside my bedroom window. That's good, because they would've gotten the garden hose for the state of mind I was in around 17.


That boom box scene seems rather unlikely. I think a lot of girls would indeed use a garden hose on him.

To digress at bit: some songs that seem to be "romantic" are actually about the frustration of crushes.

An example would be Downtown Train (originally by Tom Waits; Rod Stewart covered it). The narrator of the song is pining for some woman, but she seems to be ignoring him or maybe she barely knows him. He does some mild stalking by going past her house when she doesn't know he's there.

I've done exactly that myself, more than once.
wicked_jocelyn
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by LakeShoreLimited


That boom box scene seems rather unlikely. I think a lot of girls would indeed use a garden hose on him.

To digress at bit: some songs that seem to be "romantic" are actually about the frustration of crushes.

An example would be Downtown Train (originally by Tom Waits; Rod Stewart covered it). The narrator of the song is pining for some woman, but she seems to be ignoring him or maybe she barely knows him. He does some mild stalking by going past her house when she doesn't know he's there.

I've done exactly that myself, more than once.


Haven't we all? I think it's okay to be obsessed over someone as long as 1) you know that's what you're doing. 2) You eventually get out of it. 3) Don't show up to their house with the boom box or otherwise be a stalker.

One that note, here's a song from 90s:

"The Punished Nonpartisan" <- Extreme BDSM and humiliation story. Heavy on plot. Served on a plate of political drama with a side of domestic terror. Currently Free download.

Jocelyn the Wicked <- futanari, fantasy fan fic, and some tentacles that escaped the laboratory
LakeShoreLimited
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by wicked_jocelyn


Haven't we all? I think it's okay to be obsessed over someone as long as 1) you know that's what you're doing. 2) You eventually get out of it. 3) Don't show up to their house with the boom box or otherwise be a stalker.

One that note, here's a song from 90s:



Regarding your three conditions:

1. Usually people do know what's happening to them (although a few really don't); yet it can feel like it's out of control and one can do some strange things. That happened to me three times. The last one was a celebrity, an actress I never met, which is truly weird.

2. They do end eventually, but usually not fast enough. As I implied, meanwhile there is a huge waste of time and energy. Like the high school one: there were four hundred other girls I could have approached. I still don't know why I picked one who wasn't interested.

3. I would never go to someone's house and let them know I was there. But for that first one, I made a two hour trip to her house in Queens for absolutely nothing except to look at it.

Rule of thumb: if someone is not into you, move on. There is always someone else.

A couple of other songs about infatuations: REM's Losing My Religion and Sarah McLachlan's Possession. I think the latter is based on letters a stalker sent to her.
TonyaL
Snake Charmera
I was supershy in school and scared to bring people home for awhile so I've had several crushes. One was on a boy I was in school with from kindergarten until we graduated together. They used to seat us alphabetically and of course I always was made to sit near him which also made him my partner for assignments over the years. I never told him how I felt other than when I was really young and it was one of those do you have a pencil I can borrow and then write his name in a heart. In high school I became friends with some of the people I crushed on. Even in the Navy I was too shy to tell someone I liked them. I guess that's how I ended up marrying someone comfortable that I had known my whole life and even dated when I was in high school. It also meant I knew he needed a nurturer which I am.

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