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Top Hokiest Movies Ever List

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Buz
The Linebacker
Give us your list of the 'Hokiest' big budget major Hollywood awful movies ever. Movies so unbelievable and embarrassing that you shook your head in disbelief and felt sorry for the actors for being cast in such a fiasco. Movies that make you cringe and wish you'd never seen them.

Here is my list...

1. Armageddon
2. Rocky V
3. Battlefield Earth
4. Deep Impact
5. The Day After Tomorrow
6. Independence Day
7. The Martian
8. Batman And Robin
8. The Lone Ranger
9. Star Wars: Episode I — The Phantom Menace
10. Superman Returns

Dishonorable Mention:
11. Jupiter Ascending
12. 16 Blocks
13. 2012
14. Face Off
15. Twilight
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
Dude - the Martian was great. you're smoking crack. smile

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Buz
The Linebacker
Quote by sprite
Dude - the Martian was great. you're smoking crack. smile


Matt Damon needs to go back to acting school. I seriously was deeply disappointed in the movie.
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
Quote by Buz


Matt Damon needs to go back to acting school. I seriously was deeply disappointed in the movie.


Matt Damon is so good that no one realizes how good he is. he acts like he can't act, when he can - see? he has even you fooled.

also, you need to add any movie with Will Ferrell or Adam Sandler to your list. smile

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Buz
The Linebacker
Quote by sprite

also, you need to add any movie with Will Ferrell or Adam Sandler to your list. smile


They are both worse than hokie. They are so bad they're silly.

C'mon Rachel, give me your Hokiest Movie List.
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
Quote by Buz


They are both worse than hokie. They are so bad they're silly.

C'mon Rachel, give me your Hokiest Movie List.


i'll work on it - promise smile 50 Shades of Grey will be one of them, btw silly

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Nikki703
Active Ink Slinger
Any Rocky movie after 2
Any Jaws movie after the original
Pirhana
Showgirls
Sharknado
Glitter
Battlefield Earth
Snakes on a Plane
Caddyshack 2
Guest
Lurker
Plan 9 From Outer Space
Guest
Lurker
Yeah...
Plan 9
Showgirls
pretty much almost all of the above, also
Highlander 2 (The Quickening)
Battlefield Earth
Freddy Got Fingered
Gigli
Sex Lives of the Potato Men
Jack and Jill
Striptease
Foodfight!
WellMadeMale
Constant Gardener
Every Stephen King novel, serial-novel or short story adapted for the big screen, except Rita Hayworth & The Shawshank Redemption...and The Green Mile.

His latest: Cell - omfg, Samuel Fucking L. Jackson & John Cusack obviously just needed a paycheck.
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
LeCygneNoir
Advanced Wordsmith
Ooookay. Great list so far!

I'm a great fan of bad cinema, so I could list about 600 movies so-bad-they're-funny, but that's shooting on ambulances given their budgets. I'll even spare the Hollywood low budget cash grabs (Kazaam, Congo, Lost in Space, Battlefield Earth, Dungeons and Dragons, The Phantom, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc...) or even hopeful grats (like 90% of Robert Rodriguez' work) to concentrate on true massively funded horrors.

But, here are a few adds. Major Hollywood movies that crashed, and burned, and deserved it.

1. Matrix Reloaded and Matrix Revolutions. By the Wachowski then brothers, now sisters.
I mean, where do I even BEGIN with these two? Those two are just horrendous cash grabs with no sense, no consistency, bad action, bad CGI and horrible acting. Frankly, they even managed to make me hate the first Matrxi retrospectively. Also, can we just add ALL the other Wachowski movies to this list, it's not like there are good ones...

2. Batman and Robin, by Joel Shumacher.
It's really, really hard to describe the awe I feel for Batman & Robin. That THIS even made it to an actual screen, viewed by actual people? What. The hell. It's a catastrophy so thorough it's absolutely beautiful. Worth an evening with friends just to heckle it. I'm also pretty amazed by how many good actors they dragged into this hopeless waste of silver nitrate. Thankfully, George CLooney and Uma THurman's careers survived.

3. The Ninja Turtles, by Michael Bay.
Need I say more? Could've used any Michael Bay movies, but Transformers at least had Megan Fox to repair my retinas during the torture seance.

4. A.I, by Steven Spielberg.
Steven...It really, really hurts me to put you on this list. But you done fucked it up! To see a movie with such incredible potential get so thoroughly messed up...The acting is weird, the characters emotions are either superficial or completely inhuman - haha -, the story is all over the place. Spielberg never decided if he wanted to make it a Spielberg movie or a Kubrick hommage - Stanley was supposed to direct AI and died shortly before - and ended up messing up both. Shame, shame, shame!

5. Godzilla, by Roland Emmerich.
So. I was never a great fan of monster movies. But...Come ON!

6. Avatar, the Last Airbender. By Nught Shyamalan
Okay, so again. I HAD to put Shyamalan into this. The guy who had one (probably accidental) movie and has been harassing us ever since with a constant flow of badly written, badly shot, badly acted and badly edited monstrosities that sometimes end up relatively fun because they're so lame (Oh, The Happening, Signs and Lady in the Water how you made me laugh...)
But "Avatar" is probably the single best animated series of all time. I watched it as a 23 years old and loved every second. And this douche comes along to ruin any chance of a decent movie franchise out of it. Shame on you Shyamalan, shame!

6. INDIANA JONES AND THE FUCKING KINGDOM OF THE FUCKING CRYSTAL SKULL, by FUCKING STEVEN FUCKING SPIELBERG.
YOU RUINED IT STEVEN! AGAIN! YOU RUINED EVERYTHING! I WILL HAVE YOUR SKULL FOR THIS ONE!



And there's at least 20 others I can think of (Daredevil, Twister, Spiderman 3, Expendables 2 and 3, the Star Wars Christmas Special...)