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Maintenance spankings

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Does anyone out there get maintenance spankings? How often and with what instrument?
I spank my own ass because I can't be like Goldilocks--too soft, harder, just rough.

So, I tenderize myself thrice a wk in the name of Albert Fish.


Spiked wooden paddle right when I get home from Kickboxing.

Delicious.

But, when men use wooden or leather paddle on me, I tend to laugh.
I can't help it. Then they want me to count, full on gigglefest from me.