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Best similes

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Just_A_Guy_You_Know
Wouldn't you rather have a nice cup of tea?
A simile is a comparison between two things using 'like' or 'as'. Give us your best (or just make up some new ones):

"Making small-talk with Glenn, the department head, was as dull as dried dog shit baking in a Petco parking lot."

"Leo stepped on the accelerator, and the engine growled like an autistic yeti."

"Sarah had a face like an angel if it had flown full speed into a brick wall."

Don't believe everything that you read.
RumpleForeskin
The Right Rev of Lush
Submitted for your consideration, five Raymond Chandler similes.


"She's a charming middle age lady with a face like a bucket of mud and if she's washed her hair since Coolidge's second term, I'll eat my spare tire, rim and all." -- Farewell, My Lovely (Chapter 6)


"The General spoke again, slowly, using his strength as carefully as an out-of-work show-girl uses her last good pair of stockings." -- The Big Sleep (Chapter 2)


"His smile was as stiff as a frozen fish." -- The Man Who Liked Dogs (short story)


"I belonged in Idle Valley like a pearl onion on a banana split."--The Long Good-bye (Chapter 13)


"Even on Central Avenue, not the quietest dressed street in the world, he looked about as inconspicuous as a tarantula on a slice of angel food."--Farewell, My Lovely (Chapter 1)
RUMPLATIONS: AwesomeHonky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Home of the Lush "IN" crowd: indecent, intoxicated, and insolvent
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Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. -- ROBERT HEINLEIN
HeraTeleia
Top Shot
In the eastern sky there was a yellow patch like a rug laid for the feet of the coming sun...~The Red Badge Of Courage, Stephen Crane

I tell myself it doesn't matter, your name is like your telephone number, useful only to others; but what I tell myself is wrong, it does matter.~The Handmaid's Tale, Margaret Atwood



Aaaand proof that I'm a lot of things, but not a writer, as seen (or glimpsed) in Beribboned and Bowed:

The endless softness of her thighs...her skin of a pale translucent nameless colour to put milk to shame.
Want to spend some time wallowing in a Recommended Read? Pick one! Or two! Or seven!