Join the best erotica focused adult social network now
Login

Feedback on story

last reply
6 replies
2.0k views
0 watchers
0 likes
Hey,
I wrote a story a while a go 'Baby sitting for Miss Greenslade' and am considering writing another one, either a sequel or something completely different.
Would love some feedback on the story; what was good, what was bad and ideas for the next story.

Thanks

The_Writer
Hi The_Writer, and a warm welcome to the site.

I gave your babysitting story a quick once over.

The story itself is pretty good. It is incredibly hard to read with the formatting the way it is though, there are up to around 8 line spaces between some paragraphs. It would be much easier to read if you didn't have to keep scrolling down constantly.

I really liked the way you included the thoughts going through his head, that was a nice touch.

I'm sure some other people will give you more feedback.

Feel free to ask anything you want here, we're a friendly community

Cheers,

~ Lush ~
Everyone has a different style, but I'd echo what Lush said, and just tighten up the formatting. Adding the emotions helps a story; good to see.
okay, i've fixed up the spacing issue...which must have happened when i copied the story from word to the website.
Thanks for that, word is notoriously poor with formatting. I prefer writing in wordpad or notepad for that reason. Word drives me up the wall.
All i have is ms word.


Welcome to the forums, The Writer. Glad you decided to join. Good luck with your future stories.
Quote by jackoffjecht
All i have is ms word.


Welcome to the forums, The Writer. Glad you decided to join. Good luck with your future stories.


Do you run windows JoJ? If so, click the start button, then run, then type notepad or wordpad.