Hi. I'm new here. I hope to get some insight and suggestions to improve my story making.
I do graphic novel based erotica. Most of my erotic graphic novels are about impregnation. However my recent story isn't, since I wanted to add more variety in my work. My recent story is about John, who just turned 18. John has a big crush on Anne that doesn't feel the same way towards him. Anne has an older sister name Shen, who is finishing her last years in college. Shen is now engaged to her smug boyfriend who can harvest unhealthy levels of jealousy.
This is where I'm stuck in the story. Shen's girlfriends gather together to plan a crazy, college graduate/engagement party with male strippers. Through a sequence of mistakes, mix-ups and misconceptions, John accidentally finds himself dancing in front of all these women. The women get rowdy with John and John finds himself with Shen who now gets hot and bothered and starts sucking him off, which led to John having doggy-style sex with her in front of everyone. John, overwhelmed with first sexual experience, lasts for a long time, which greatly impresses the women there and especially Shen.
The two juiciest parts of this story (in my opinion) is 1. Shen is stunned by the amount of c*m that John produces, which has "Drenched" her entire face. 2. Somehow, either Shen finds out who John really is (and the connection with Anne) and Shen is embarrassed beyond belief and doesn't say anything or Anne finds out and she is embarrassed/upset beyond belief.
What I'm having trouble with is finding the right series of mistakes and mix-ups that is convincing enough for such a scenario to even happen, since parts of it already starts to sound far-fetched.
Any suggestions, tips or creative advice would greatly be appreciated.
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