Wouldn't you rather have a nice cup of tea?
Thinking this morning about our relationship and responsibility as authors to shaping culture. With all of the news stories of sexual assaults, (and the millions of similar personal stories that don't make the news), it's hard to deny that this is a cultural problem. And while LS is maybe not the most mainstream cultural influencer, I still have to wonder at what our role as authors is in shaping the cultural attitudes that contribute to the pandemic of sexual assaults.
I've never written a story of unconsenting sex. However, I also can't help but think of the unrealistic characters I've written who are constantly wanting (no, craving) sexual contact, or find themselves in situations that aren't too dissimilar from those I'm reading about in the news with the key difference being that where those victims said no (or were otherwise unable to provide consent to what was done to them), my characters say yes (YES! YES! OH GOD, YES!). Does this difference in itself absolve me? I'd consider my stories fairly vanilla in terms of the sex described in them compared to the stories produced by many of the other authors on this site, not to mention other sites with less control over the quality and content of their stories, or the porn industry at large. But if anyone in real life acted like the people in my stories do, they'd undoubtedly end up getting arrested, and should probably be locked away as a menace to society. Does that make me complicit (even indirectly) in supporting culture?
On one hand, I think it should be obvious to most readers that we're writing fantasies here, and not actual instruction manuals for sex, dating, or being in healthy relationships. On the other hand, what obligation do we have as authors and creators towards society? What is our responsibility in influencing our readers? Do you even consider the potential social impact of what you're writing, or do you simply express whatever is on your mind, regardless of how it might be interpreted, internalized, or acted on by readers?
I'm not really completely on one side or another on this issue, but just mulling it over as I drink my coffee, and curious of others' opinions.
Don't believe everything that you read.
Don't confuse erotica and a healthy interest in sexual exploration with real life and molestation. The two share nothing in common.
I'm not even sure why you're stressing over characters engaging in consensual sex . . . absolving you? As if that's a crime?
Seriously... stop punishing yourself or enjoying sex!
As far as a writer's obligations . . . there are none. Erotica or Non-Erotica. I write to satisfy my interests, not to shape the world. Sure, some authors do try to influence society but I'm not one of them and never like it when people try to insist I have some sort of obligation to do so...
Wouldn't you rather have a nice cup of tea?
No, I'm not saying that my stories have anyone, nor have I. But the idea is out there that one of the factors to blame for culture is pornography, which normalizes male sexual aggression, which can overcome a woman's reluctance, and convince her that she really wants it even though she didn't think she did, or that women are naturally meant to privilege and service men's sexual desires over their own - and I want to consider it seriously.
So, for example, I've just published a story in which a guy goes to a rock concert and ends up having sex with an anonymous stranger in the crowd. As a fantasy, it works. However, there are also a lot of real life accounts of women being molested by random guys at rock concerts. In the story, the woman is consenting (actually initiates the encounter). In real life, I imagine that most women who go to concerts go to experience the live music, rather than to get fondled by people they don't know.
I guess the issue is that a lot of the activities I (and a lot of other people here and elsewhere) write about could be considered sexual harassment - except in fantasy, the person at the receiving end always responds favourably. In the world we create as erotica (or porn) authors, there are few examples of men being rejected sexually and remaining respectful. Instead, the characters always end up getting what they want (some more immediately than others). I'm wondering if that creates any kind of impression on impressionable people regarding their own sexual conduct in the world.
And I can't agree that a writer has no social obligations. I also write to satisfy my own interests first, and don't hold myself accountable to the demands of any particular audience, but I'm not completely detached from the world. By virtue of publishing my writing on LS, I'm communicating something to the world. And while I don't have as massive a following as some other authors on here, I'm aware that I have some audience, and therefore, I assume, some level of responsibility for the messages I send to them.
Don't believe everything that you read.
When a blames a story, a movie, a tv show, a book . . . for any sexual act they decided to commit against someone, it's because they don't want to accept that they're a shitty person through and through.
That's what shitty people do. They blame others who have no influence or authority over their decisions for the fact that they decided to do something wrong.
Wouldn't you rather have a nice cup of tea?
But it's not just about one particular story or author. I really don't think anyone thinks that highly of my writing that they would be moved to actually reenact it in real life. But it's more of a cumulative effect - my stories, and everyone else's creating an overall impression about the rules and norms of sexual engagement that contribute in some part - not the whole explanation, but possibly one contributing factor in a complex issue - to promoting or at least normalizing sexual aggression and harassment. There are of course, many other factors that contribute to and sexual assault (i.e. people being shitty), but acknowledging that there are other factors, doesn't necessarily erase the impact (however small) that we may have.
On the other hand, I'm certainly not calling for a boycott, or anything like that. I agree that being able to explore your sexual fantasies (particularly in writing) is generally a healthy thing to do. And repressing personal expression tends to make matters far worse. I'll probably continue to write and publish my own stories here. I'd say that my level of concern is about the same as I'd have buying a pair of Nikes. Yeah, I know that some poor kid in Indonesia made them under terrible oppressive working conditions for just a couple of cents, and that sucks, but at the same time I need a comfortable pair of shoes. It was just something I was thinking about the other day, so I thought I'd start the discussion, and see if anyone had any thoughts on the subject.
Don't believe everything that you read.
