My wife and I have been through a turbulent, but loving 5 1/2 year marriage. We have one little girl and have talked on and off about adding to the family. MY one true and honest problem with her beyond petty little things is that she doesn't seem to ever want to go beyond a routine we've kind of developed for sex. I go down, she orgasms, we do it once until I orgasm, and we're done. She claims she enjoys it, and I believe her, but every time I mention that we should try, say, other positions or her going down on me, etc, she just kind of chuckles it off and never changes.
Ladies, what would you suggest I do to exact some changes for the better in our sex life without coming off like I'm pissed at her or forcing her to do thigns or something? I'm not interested in doing anything she doesn't like, I'm well aware of her boundaries and respect them. But do any of you have any suggestions for spicing things up in a way that I don't come off too forceful?
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A little help from the ladies for a guy's marriage...
Lollipop Girl
Be honest and up front with her tell her how you feel. Nothing wrong with wanting to spice things up a bit. Or ask her if she has anything she would like to try and try it and then you suggest something... Hope it works out!
"Haters make me FAMOUS!!!"
Sassy
Sassy
Alpha Blonde
You need to explore what kind of fantasies she might have, or how open she is to sex in general.
Keep in mind that the way she was raised and/or previous sexual experiences may have affected her view of sex or what she is comfortable with. And she may not even feel open enough to share with you (yet).
I can't think of a woman alive that wouldn't be happy to come home to soft music playing, a few scented candles and a man (meaning you!) standing there with a bottle of massage oil and willing hands. Maybe once she is in the mood, and sufficiently aroused, you can start to ask her what she likes...
Seems like you just need to start by opening up lines of communication when it comes to her sexuality.
Maybe try written erotica, a female-friendly porn etc. Once she's aroused, she'll probably be more communicative of things she might be shy about..?!
Just my thoughts...
Good luck!
Keep in mind that the way she was raised and/or previous sexual experiences may have affected her view of sex or what she is comfortable with. And she may not even feel open enough to share with you (yet).
I can't think of a woman alive that wouldn't be happy to come home to soft music playing, a few scented candles and a man (meaning you!) standing there with a bottle of massage oil and willing hands. Maybe once she is in the mood, and sufficiently aroused, you can start to ask her what she likes...
Seems like you just need to start by opening up lines of communication when it comes to her sexuality.
Maybe try written erotica, a female-friendly porn etc. Once she's aroused, she'll probably be more communicative of things she might be shy about..?!
Just my thoughts...
Good luck!
It sounds like she likes it the way it is, and no amount of tempting of forcing, or suggestion of cohersion into doing this you want will make one ounze of difference. She loves you and likes things the way they are. She will be getting some comfort out of the way you make love to her now. I think she needs that.
I was with my ex husband for 17 yrs. we liked doing certain stuff untill he wanted more from me, much more than I could ever give. I have been divorced for 5 yrs.
I miss what we had, but I could stay with a man who's sexual interest I wasn't comfotable with; it became cold and distance. No matter how many kissies or hugs he gave me afterwards.
He just ended up wanting something that I just didn't like doing and wouldn't do.
I was with my ex husband for 17 yrs. we liked doing certain stuff untill he wanted more from me, much more than I could ever give. I have been divorced for 5 yrs.
I miss what we had, but I could stay with a man who's sexual interest I wasn't comfotable with; it became cold and distance. No matter how many kissies or hugs he gave me afterwards.
He just ended up wanting something that I just didn't like doing and wouldn't do.
To me it kind of sounds like she doesn't want to go down on you. I once had a friend who was very similar. She would tell me all about how her bf would go down on her but how she would never do it to him. After they broke up he made a lot of jokes about her next boyfriend not knowing what a good bj is.
It sounds to me that she needs a little love an understanding more than anything. It is possible to spice up your sex life but you will have to talk to her about it. She may be quite satisfied with how things are while you are not. I would find out why she doesn't want to do anything different. There may be some other deep seated issues behind all of it.
It sounds to me that she needs a little love an understanding more than anything. It is possible to spice up your sex life but you will have to talk to her about it. She may be quite satisfied with how things are while you are not. I would find out why she doesn't want to do anything different. There may be some other deep seated issues behind all of it.
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could be...things have started to slowly get better, so I guess time will tell. She says she enjoys BJ's, and certainly acts like it when she does it, but it doesn't happen very often. I also don't want to be an ass and get mad at her about it either because I'm not trying to disrespect her or anything.