Does a man with little to say turn a woman off ? I have dated several women in the past few years and have met some really good ones. The problem comes when they realize that I don't talk a lot. I do like to talk and get to know these ladies and learn all about them and their lives but I just don't have much to say. I could sit back cuddling a woman and say nothing while watching a movie, the stars, a camp fire or something else and be completely happy. I know ladies enjoy talking and I encourage them to do so. I actually get compliments from some ladies because I will sit and listen to everything they have to say "I do enjoy listening". It's just that I don't talk much. I never have liked talking a lot and I don't know if I ever will. I think it causes the demise of most of my dating adventures. /cry
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Alpha Blonde
I think that every woman will be different, and there are many who will appreciate the "strong, silent type" or the guy who is an excellent listener, so don't lose faith. There are some women out there who will be happy with this.
For me, personally, it's a turn-off, but I'm a highly communicative person and pretty outgoing, so one my greatest turn-ons is a guy who has something to say and knows how to say it. I dated a quiet guy once (we did a lot of active, sporty things together to distract from the fact that there was nothing to say), but I quickly lost interest. My brain is often going a mile a minute and I need someone who can interact with me on an equal level.
If someone isn't able to hold their own in a conversation, then the other person just ends up talking about themselves constantly... which is great at first if you have an exhibitionistic personality, but pretty frustrating in the long run.
Maybe you should just work on opening up more and becoming a more skilled conversationalist... when it becomes easier, you'll probably find that you enjoy it more too.
For me, personally, it's a turn-off, but I'm a highly communicative person and pretty outgoing, so one my greatest turn-ons is a guy who has something to say and knows how to say it. I dated a quiet guy once (we did a lot of active, sporty things together to distract from the fact that there was nothing to say), but I quickly lost interest. My brain is often going a mile a minute and I need someone who can interact with me on an equal level.
If someone isn't able to hold their own in a conversation, then the other person just ends up talking about themselves constantly... which is great at first if you have an exhibitionistic personality, but pretty frustrating in the long run.
Maybe you should just work on opening up more and becoming a more skilled conversationalist... when it becomes easier, you'll probably find that you enjoy it more too.
It's difficult to change who you are if you don't like talking, because that means you will have to pretend to be somebody your not. It's a tricky one, are you not talking becasue of self confidence, maybe get try some new hobbies so that you have something to talk about, try experimenting in new music widen your choice of music. Comedy is always a good ice-breaker with women if you can enjoy a good giggle now and then, then I think most women would feel more at ease when you do want to be silent. I think when men don't talk much and stay quiet, it make me feel even shyer than I normally would do.
Good Luck HB
Good Luck HB
Active Ink Slinger
I like men who talk since I can be a little bit quiet at times. There is such thing as talking TOO much though, especially if they don't have a lot of interesting things to say.
Rainbow Warrior
On the whole, I'd say I prefer being with a guy who talks too little rather than a guy who talks too much. I can usually draw a quiet guy out of his shell more easily than I can muzzle a guy who just never shuts up!
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by Jillicious
It is better to keep your mouth shut and everyone to think your a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
Actually quiet guys are kind of nice. I like being quiet as well. But when it's conversation time I do like a guy who can hold one.
It's much easier to deal with a quiet guy, than one that won't shut up. Besides, talking is the last thing a guy should be doing with his mouth.
Active Ink Slinger
It is definitely true that most first impressions are made, at least in the social scene, visually. I see a guy at a bar, or he walks into a room, or even dancing with a girl, and I usually form an opinion of him, whether accurate or not. But what I do is usually based on the first impression. So if a guy gives a favorable first impression, I'll do something to get close to him, and hopefully draw him into some sort of conversation. Here's where it gets tricky, and I think its true for a lot of girls. I don't mind if he's a quiet guy - sometimes that's really nice. But if getting him to open up even just a little is like pulling teeth, red flags might go up. I don't want a conversation to be all about him - I want him to ttry and engage me, too. That's what guys do when they try to pick me up, and that's fun.
I agree with the girls above who prefer a guy on the quiet side - quiet and shy and unassuming is nice. Braggy and chatty and arrogant is a shut off.
puts the ‘desi’ in ‘desire’.
I think the strong silent type is sexy, only because you know he has lots to say, but keeps it back. That said, my Irish hubby could talk the hind legs off a donkey, and that's sexy too.
‘The pious fable and the dirty story
Share in the total literary glory.’
W.H. Auden