I’ve been doing so for many years. It’s electronic, I do it on my phone and it’s pretty brief. I note my activities for the day, some times weather, people I encounter, etc. How I’m felling and sexual activity of course. I use a 1 thru 5 ranking system and sometimes a few word discriptors of my thoughts before, during and after an encounter with some one. I sometimes do note peoples names but often use only initials. The journal is private, for my eyes only.
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I've kept two since I was a kid. One is written out in pencil longhand. Random thoughts, tirades, story ideas, and the day's doing. The other is photographic, five or ten images a day of whatever catches my eye.
I do journal. Else I will go mad! Some thoughts, if I may be allowed to use this as my scratch pad...
Some of you might remember me from the last time I was active here. It was a while back. I was motivated for a lot of things - To lose weight, to become desirable, to be more sexy. I am growing old, faster than ever, and my biggest fear was growing ugly 'unfulfilled'.
It got to me, my presence on this platform. I ran away, fearing what I had become. But I could not, for long. Mentally, I am at a much worse state now, than I was when i first came here. I feel dark, depraved, and seek thrills that I cannot even talk about openly. I am losing myself. And I hope this time around, I lose myself beyond repair. Yes, I mean it.
Posting something of mine - I am more unfit physically and mentally than I have ever been. But the last few weeks, I have tried to become sexy again. Some have looked at me, and some have body shamed me.
Happy new year, to all you amazing men and women.
